* in another lifetime ⏤ featuring @remrse
the benefit was supposed to be a getaway masquerading as a charity event, this was common knowledge to those that regularly attend. shiah believes this year's event only serves to fuel the tension within the attendees ⏤ an aftereffect of having numerous magnates in one place. not only due to gossip girl's subsequent posts, but seeing the anguish that ferments within also reflects in jaerim's deep auburn gaze upon their next meeting, she knows her hypothesis rings true. so it only makes sense that another trip away was in order to unpack all the bullshit that march had brought. just the two of them.
and this type of deliberate care is a privilege that only extends to a few select people in her life; jaerim sitting high on the list of men that are actually worth caring for ( or rather, the only person on that list ), someone that she couldn't see herself without at this point. calling it fate that they were simultaneously experiencing the darkest point of their lives seems a little too dramatic for her taste, but as a woman of rules and logic, there is no clear rationale of how they were brought together. someone of jaerim's stature should have looked through someone as lowly as shiah was at the time, not at her. and yet when life's blustering waves threaten to take him under, he threw her a lifeline, tells her that she isn't alone. when she's finally able to take a breath, she lifts him up as well. they heal together, relationship blooming from adversity.
it makes sense why they're so close, why no one could compare to him. the rumors around the validity of their friendship also make sense, even gossip girl hinting at something more every now and then. it's easier to overlook that part than confront the lingering feelings that she dug six feet under eons ago for the sake of said friendship. it's nothing.
it's a haphazard type of planning made at the very last minute, but there's an allure to the spontaneity that's difficult to resist, especially when jaerim readily works in tandem with her, car at the ready to speed off towards a dreamy spot some ways away from seoul. the atmosphere feels sprightly enough to be tangible, all smiles and bright laughter ⏤ emotions unabashed in jaerim's presence because truly, what's left to hide from him? maybe she's caught up a bit too much in it, because by the time they get to the hotel with the scenic views, lodging is completely booked ⏤ save for the honeymoon suite that was cancelled not long ago. her heart leaps to her throat at the image of sharing a bed with him but they go with it in the end; staying long enough to settle their luggage inside before shiah drags him out to do whatever they could within the city, whatever they could to distract her from the rose petals adorning the bed that makes her feel as if she could combust at any moment.
it's something that they have to face as they return back later in the evening ⏤ or at least she does, as throughout the years she's convinced herself that jaerim doesn't see her as a woman, too much of a comfort to. the reality of the situation crashes into her when they enter once more, drinking in the oversized room that was clearly beautified for a married couple. her gaze drifts over to jaerim and prays to any god that's listening that he doesn't pick up on how her hand fans at herself briefly, her heightened awkwardness, "uh ... i know i said i liked the view at this hotel but we could have went somewhere else, really. because this is a lot," the reasoning comes too little too late, that's more than obvious but she doesn't know what else to say.
instead she makes her way to the bottle of champagne that sits upon the desk, inviting, "but let's just make the most of it, i guess. just," and she flips dark tresses over her shoulder rather dramatically as she looks back at him, silly, "don't fall in love with me. i know it's gonna be so hard for you because i'm just that lovable, but please. make a valiant attempt." laughter spills from her lips but it's a little more forced than earlier on, an attempt to lighten the mood that surrounds them as she works on opening the bottle. "do you want some? we could have some while you tell me what in the hell was up with that gossip girl post. seryung, seulki, and raon in one day?" she exasperates, ignoring that twinge deep in her chest that always comes when bringing his escapades up. it's nothing.