As long as you are still trying to walk
I know that even as I marveled at God’s grace, I found myself trying to be victorious over my sin so that I could feel more “worthy” of His love. Slowly I’m learning that will never happen... The first thing I need to understand is that there is nothing I can do that will make God love me any more than He already does. The Bible says that God loved us while we were yet still sinners!!
So, one of the key things that has helped me greatly is simply a change in where I put my efforts. Before I had my sights set on victory, but it was such a big task, I simply could not achieve it. Lacking God’s power, I kept falling into the discouragement cycle. What works so much better for me is to first realize that God loves me even though I fall short. He’s adopted me as His son and isn’t hovering above me waiting till I fall so He can strike me with lightning. As a Father, He’s hovering above me waiting to pick me up...
Once I begin to understand how God feels about me – as I begin to find confidence, trust, hope and strength in His consuming and ravishing love for me – I shift from trying to find victory for its own sake to seeking to love God. In love I begin to seek obedience. Instead of coming to the end of the day knowing that I haven’t achieved victory and feeling like a failure, I come to the end of the day knowing whether I have been obedient or not, whether I have loved God or not. If not, that doesn’t mean that I have missed my life goal, but rather that there is still much room for improvement. And that’s okay, because I’m growing and moving forward. I’m still a toddler learning to walk. My Daddy helps me when the steps are hardest, but as the muscles and coordination develop, He sits back and cheers me on as I take one tentative, shaky step after another...
No parent in their right mind would punish their child for falling as they try to walk, and neither does God desire to punish us for falling. Rather, parents pay special attention to their child walking, recording the day they take their first step, taking pictures or videos and celebrating together. As you choose to get up and try again – instead of hating yourself and assuming God hates you too – imagine your Father, your Abba, your Daddy in heaven calling out in a mixture of excitement and tenderness, “Jesus, go get the video camera! Rick is standing up again! Maybe this time he’ll make two steps before he falls … and next time maybe it’ll be three, and before you know it he’ll be running all over the place!”
Some would say this is a nice, warm and fuzzy theory but that it ignores the seriousness of sin. Perhaps in some ways they are right, but... Sin is serious. So serious that God allowed Himself to be nailed to a cross to pay the atonement for us. And sin is serious in our lives as well. When we sin, we’re wracked by guilt and a lot of self-hatred. Sin destroys us, it tears our soul to pieces, it separates us from God and it makes us into horrible little hellish creatures.
When we repent and accept Jesus’ sacrifice in faith, God declares us righteous and blameless in His sight. That’s what Paul calls righteousness by faith. This doesn’t mean that all our sin falls off and we become instant angels – or, as Brennan Manning puts it, “clack click, clack click – one saint, that quick.” Rather, God has made a declaration of what we are to become, and we must step out in faith and pursue what God has called us to. In Romans Paul talks about the importance of renewing our minds, of seeking God. So, while we are not saved by works and good deeds, we do have a role to play in our own salvation. We need to accept God’s love for us, and if we really do that, it will cause us to pursue God’s will and seek to be obedient to Him. It will be an obedience out of love, not out of fear and self-hatred...
As long as you are still trying to walk – as long as you get up after you fall, dust off your behind and try again, as long as you are seeking your loving Father – you are on the right road, and you can view God entirely as a loving, concerned and pleased Father. But there are times when to be loving, human parents have to be harsh and seemingly cruel. So it is also with us. Sometimes we are so crippled by sin that radical actions are needed by God. Sometimes He needs to convict us, break our hearts, or put us on the operating table and tear away a beloved sin that holds us back. It seems cruel at the time, but it’s for the best, and it’s the only way a truly loving God can respond.
~ Anonymous
