#reread2023

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it’s absolutely wild that Coin seemed to think Peeta “if it weren’t for the baby” Mellark would be easier to work with

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we interrupt your regularly scheduled dystopia to bring you this absolutely ✨swoon✨ worthy moment

some observations I’ve made before but which still make me unwell: how this whole exchange feels less like reconciling friends as it does a reconciling husband and wife, how Katniss says her motivation in not being affectionate with Peeta is to spare Gale hurt, how she says he will think (not know, but think) she is acting (almost like she’s not??)

and of course, oh, the way they collapse into each other … Peeta immediately burying his face in her hair … oh, he missed her so much you just know he did … the comfort level they have with each other!!! and Katniss, feeling his warmth run through her … feeling “so good, so impossibly good” like I feel like I need to look away … it’s an exquisite moment you just know Suzanne was so pleased with herself writing it

also, Katniss hugging Peeta so he won’t make her do push ups? she’s so funny I love her

[rosegardeninwinter]

Katniss’s whole thought process about how she must thank Rue and Thresh is so powerful … see, Katniss and Peeta don’t try to be rebellious (at least, not initially) … but his kind generosity offering a portion of the winnings to the families and her humble, sincere gratitude … they’re just good people … and that’s radical.

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this is what I mean about how the movies fumbled the look of the Capitol by making it all brutalist architecture

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too often I see people take that final line as gospel: Katniss is a survivor, a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man; these things are technically true, but they are not what Katniss wants; she does not affirm Gale’s assessment of her, though many readers completely take it at face value that he’s correct; she is offended (she says it’s a horrible thing for Gale to say) that he doesn’t think love or passion will sway her decision; she’s so affronted by it that she wants Peeta to defend her, because Peeta would know (again, subconsciously, she is aware she loves him in a way that could, if he was more sure of her feelings, allow him to defend her approach to relationship), not really considering that Peeta hardly knows his own favorite color, let alone how to psychoanalyze his kind-of-girlfriend in this state

TLDR: Katniss isn’t unfeeling and her choice of Peeta isn’t just because he was the only one there; in fact, ironically, she is explicitly repulsed by that characterization of her

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I actually love that Peeta doesn’t read Katniss right in this moment: it shows he still has things to learn about her

I know we can’t be sure that Katniss knows what she’s going to do precisely, but “for Prim” tells me volumes: because Prim would never want another Games; she died HELPING Capitol children

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what can I say about this that hasn’t already been said? the fact that she accepts the possibility that she may die doing this, that he may kill her, but does it anyway. almost tacitly giving Peeta permission to kill her by getting so intimately close. but he doesn’t. he’s fighting too. the fact that a simple kiss and a reminder of the vow he gave her is enough to essentially restart Peeta’s psyche. (I wonder why it’s the only thing she can think of? what part of her knows this may work?) the way that this moment is mirrored later with “let me go” “I can’t” (because he promised; if she goes, so does he). the fact that Katniss sees Peeta as belonging to her, something than can be taken from her specifically. the fact that once again, Katniss defies all the forces that are trying to make her do penance for the berries trick, trying to make her kill Peeta. she won’t, and that’s how Snow loses. because he can’t make her (or Peeta) be like him. he only thought Lucy Gray was trying to harm him, and that was enough to turn on her. Peeta did try to harm Katniss, and she won’t give up on him, because she, deep down, knows who he truly is. those blue eyes she loves so much will stay that way for her. and UGH the way that Peeta is completely devoted to Katniss. “always” … we hear it so much I think we can forget how huge of a statement it is. and it’s not just a teenage platitude. he means it. he’ll stay by her bed, and by her side in a war zone, and he’ll fight months of torture and poison and trauma, just to get back to her. and lest we forget, because she downplays her goodness SO much, Katniss won’t let him go either. she never says “always” aloud (shout out to The Katniss Chronicles for making the artistic decision to add her saying it prior to “so after”) but if her staying alive, waiting for his return, even if she doesn’t realize it, isn’t her “always” I don’t know what is.

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I know people always say they’re punched in the gut by that last line, but how are people missing how beautifully hopeful Katniss STILL is after all she’s suffered? … how she wants to make her children brave, how she trusts Peeta when he tells her it will be okay, and how she clings to human goodness, despite how the worst of human depravity was forced on her? … she’s still a survivor, and she survives on hope … I love her

and with that, I conclude my 2023 (into 2024) reread 😘 thanks for following along