Fic Flashback
Technically supposed to be Fic Flashback Friday, but who cares!
I was tagged by @ljandersen and @laelior. Thank you so much for tagging me!
Concept: Reshare an old work of yours, be it art or fic.
I decided to share the very first fic I ever posted to AO3, but never shared here. It’s f!Shepard/Joker ~8K wordcount. CW: depression.
Summary: It's been two years since the Reapers were destroyed. Shepard made it through the end of the war, but not without a lot of baggage and regrets. It's not until someone from her past shows up that she finally works through some of it to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
A Joker For Her Thoughts
The music was loud and exuberant. Some notably upbeat thing that she wasn’t able to associate with in the least at the moment. To be honest, she hadn’t felt those things in a long time. Not at all in the two years since the end of the war even. Probably not since that party she threw for her crew in Anderson's old apartment right before the final push. Even then it was a struggle. Any good feelings being overshadowed by dread and anxiety for what was to come. Everything may have worked out in the end, but to her it never felt that way.
Shepard was secluding herself, leaning against the bar, nursing her 6th drink. Or was it her 10th? She didn’t particularly care at this point. She watched over the crowd that was being especially animated this evening. And why shouldn’t they be? It was a celebration after all. James and Ashley had just gotten married. It was the first time since the war that she had seen her entire old crew together in one place. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy for them. Whatever happiness she was capable of feeling at this moment was entirely for them. They were two of her closest friends, and they were celebrating the rest of their lives together. It was a good thing, even she could see that, but it just wasn’t enough to get her out of her perpetual funk since the war ended.
She noticed some disheveled mountain looking man walk up to the bar, but barely paid any attention to him. She just assumed it must have been a family member of the bride or groom, and she wasn’t here to make small talk.
It wasn’t until she heard him order his drink that she recognized the voice. Someone she was afraid would likely be here, and had been somewhat relieved when she didn’t see him at the ceremony. She had purposely been avoiding him this whole time. Two years, and up until this moment she thought she might be able to put off this confrontation for an even more unhealthy amount of time.
The man leaned against the bar next to her, drink in hand, straightening his long beard before taking a sip. “Commander,” he said in way of acknowledging her presence.
“It’s Rear Admiral now, haven’t you heard?”
“Ah, no actually. I left the Alliance a while back. Or hadn’t you heard?”
“I guess I hadn’t,” she said quietly, staring at the floor. “It’s good to see you again, Joker.”
Read the rest on AO3
Tagging: @rpgwrites @mordinette @aricazorel and anyone else who would like to share an older work again. No obligations, of course.