Another colony lost

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Another colony lost
Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021) | dev. Bioware
He should have been a romance option.
Trying some different things out, so here's the results of my experimentation.
for @ale-tie
I love them both dearly ;-;
An addition to the first art that is not shown in the feed due to the rating 🥀
If you are allowed to do this and are interested, you can look
https://www.tumblr.com/carnati00n/808182161281892352/this-was-an-art-for-february-14th-but-its-been?source=share
I had to make two drawings because I wanted to draw something gentle and something spicy at the same time 💐
I think the colors on this art are quite delicate, and I'm happy with that, because I was able to make the atmosphere that was in my head
I think Joker loves Shepard, even though he'd deny it. But the only thing standing in the way is his own pride and the fear that a relationship with the Commander would devalue his achievements in the eyes of others (rumors that he only got where he is by sleeping with the boss are something he could never escape). Joker hates being pitied, he hates being a burden, and he hates being underestimated. A relationship with Shepard would also force him to confront his own weakness because of his disability, making him feel somehow inadequate, less of a man.
So, his love expresses itself in the one area where he is a god. In being the best pilot and constantly striving to live up to that. He understands he can't be with Shepard in bed, but he can execute the most brilliant maneuver in space and always handle the most difficult tasks. Because that's his language. Not words—maneuvers. Not confessions—G-forces. Not sex—salvation.
Just remember how Joker, in the finale of ME2, picked up a gun to protect Shepard from enemies. Let me remind you, he did that with broken ribs.
And on top of all that, he is terrified of rejection and that Shepard might break his heart by realizing she's not ready to be with someone who has Vrolik's syndrome, that it would be too hard for her. Joker has hidden from reality behind a wall, using his title as the best pilot, his jokes, his smiles, and that stupid formality as a shield.
Because his ego is the one thing in Joker's body that never breaks, but it's precisely that ego that stops him from being happy in the ordinary sense of the word.
And as if all that wasn't enough, Joker carries an incredible amount of guilt over Shepard's death (and the fact that he has to leave her in the finale of ME3 only traumatizes that old wound even further).
Then there's EDI. She's a machine. She's logical. She knows everything about his condition, but perceives it as dry data, not as a reason for pity. It seems to me he chose her simply because it's easier. Not to mention, there's none of that heavy emotional baggage he has with Shepard. That's probably why the EDI and Joker romance feels so artificial and inauthentic to me (I'm sorry, but I don't believe synthetics have real feelings; they only have logic and programmed responses, which feels more like an imitation). Joker latched onto the only safe attachment he could find (unfortunately, in today's world, this is a common issue with AI for people, especially those with psychological problems or disabilities).
EDI is "love without risk." She will never be disappointed in him because her reactions are the product of algorithms tailored specifically for him.
Shepard is a hero, the savior of the galaxy. Her strength, her integrity, her unwavering nature—these are things people admire. But in personal relationships, that same strength can be intimidating. Men (and women) can feel "small" next to her, even if she gives them no reason to.
Shepard loses to EDI not because she's worse, but because she's too good. Too real, too alive, too demanding (without even asking) for her partner to be just as real and alive in return. Joker just isn't ready for that. He chooses the illusion of safety over the risk of genuine intimacy. Essentially, Joker chooses logic over feeling.
And Shepard is left alone, with her unspoken feelings, and goes off to die (depending on the choice) alone, knowing that the man she quietly loved all those years preferred a program over her.
And this, perhaps, is the saddest romance in Mass Effect—the one that never happened.
The Joker comic I talked about is finally here!
I can't lie, I was pretty disappointed with how the reunion with Joker went in ME2. Out of all the characters, his should have been the most emotionally impactful (he saw Shepard die!!) yet all we got was "Sup?" as though Joker wouldn't have spent the 2 years dealing with insane survivor's guilt. Well to that I say pthhbt. My Shepard would have been beside herself seeing him again for the first time, so he's getting hugged whether he likes it or not.
Also while this is technically part of my ongoing Shakarian comic, please feel free to interpret this as romantic as well as platonic.
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