Alright, here's the update for January on my average 400 words per day goal!
Honestly, I did alright for the first half of the month. I kept up with my goals fairly well.
Unfortunately in the second half of the month, I had a few things get in the way of staying on top of it. Like my plumbing needing to get looked at by professionals and some mental health slumps.
But hey! Here's the breakdown!
31 days of January x 400 words per day = 12400 words
My total words for January = 9000 words
I'm behind by about 3400 words, but that's okay. My goal isn't exactly 400 words per day, it's an average across the whole year. So I'll write a little more another time.
I don't know. My goals have long since faded into obscurity. Time to focus some more. Nearly halfway through the year. I like to think I've done something productive. Marked some books off my TBR. Struggling to journal as often as I intended.
So, I guess I can update on my News Years Resolutions.
Publish Something: I published a short story thing on FanFiction and here on Tumblr. It’s okay, I guess. But I’ve got a neat project I’m working on and hope to get more motivation to get it out here.
Marksman: I haven’t really touched my bow. Weather has been icky and I still don’t have a target. But I am learning something else new which is riding a motorcycle.
Making Trips: I’ve gone hiking already this year. And Pat wants to take me to Chicago C2E2 next month. We’ve also been planning trips around his racing. So I think that counts.
Be Kind: I’m kind of an ass hole, but I think I’ve managed to talk less shit.
Don’t Feel Guilty: Still struggling with this one. Still trying to paint a pretty self image for myself to feel confident about. Some days I do and some days I don’t. I need to purge more toxicity from my life.
Also, I’ve gone out of my shell a bit more. I guess that adds on to last years resolution. I made a couple new friends, went out to a couple shin-digs, and (after a minor panic attack) messaged a total stranger online to ask if she could do my hair. That last one was a big step for me. Oddly. Anyway... that’s what is up.
I think I’ve narrowed down my list of candidates for what software I’ll be using for this endeavor, so that’s good. I’m just waiting until my next paycheck so I can pick up the ones that aren’t free to download- i.e. the editing ‘ware- before I get started on learning them. I think what I’ll do is practice learning them on a game I don’t plan on recording for the channel, then move on to something I actually want to record and post.
Now that that particular issue is all but resolved, the next step (aside from learning the software) is going to be procuring a few more needed items for my mic, like a pop filter and shock mount, possibly even an extended boom. I could probably just set it up so that it isn’t too far away from my face but still close enough to record my voice and not be in the way of my monitor, but it’s probably best to prepare on the off-chance that’s a better route to take.
I also need to find an artist to commission a banner for my channel, as well as an avatar. I’m going for a sort of laidback, cyberpunk theme, one that is both formal yet informal at the same time, like a bar where the staff wears fancy attire but are encouraged to wax laconic with the guests to make them feel more at home. The song “Letter of Memories” by Yoshimori Makoto from the Baccano!! OST is what best fits the feel of the image I have in mind. Walking into a nice lounge from the rain soaked sprawl, ordering a nice cold glass from the bartender, his eyes emitting a soft glow as he offers a friendly smile in compliance and his cyberarms deftly get to work, the house’ latest playthrough queuing up on the AR for your viewing pleasure.
Ah, but there I go again, my hopeless romantic side coming out as I talk about what’s supposed to be a quick update on last year’s failed resolution, just now starting to gain momentum, lol XP.
Copy and pasted last years list and cross out the successes!
Gain weight (5 or 10 pounds idk weigh at least 50 kilos or a bit more) (not 5 pounds, but i did gain!)
COLOR MORE COLORMORECOLOLRMOREERERORLRKM
Practice archery more
get a job of some sort if i can, but one i'm okay with (no dinky jobs) (Got two amazing jobs!)
break self harm habits
hate myself less and love myself more
be the good person everyone says i am
stay confident during school and believe that, if i do well and obtain my career choice, then I will be able to pay for my debt so quit stressing about it you'll be fine and you'll pay it off. Just remember why you're working so hard and how awesome it'll be to work in a museum.
Continue fighting hard for what you love
work more on tattoo designs
play with monty more so he loses weight
stop drawing so many busts for christ's sake
Start writing in my journal again. Sometimes i forget things and it's better to look back at all of the good memories rather than the bad. You know what, start that fucking journal now man, no need to wait for the new year *sternly nods*
wear lipstick more often
go to six flags or some shit (i think that's the theme park near where i should be
Utilize your bike while you live in the city, unless its icy and unsafe (you don't need to slip and slice your hand open again, that shit still hasn't healed)
If you gain more weight and save up money, you can get a tattoo! (Maybe as a reward if i accomplish most of these goals)
Don't hold in tears so often, cry if you need to! Even if you're not sad UuU Sometimes it's punk to cry
This isn't really a resolution but bUY MORE ACTION FIGURES. LIKE BUY DANTE AND VERGIL AND EVA01 AND IDK MORE SHIT MAKE MONEY AND SPEND IT HAPPILY ON YOURSELF, YOUR KITTY, AND YOUR FRIENDS (i do have more figures now but they are all gifts)
Try coffee. Not just one kind, try a lot to see what you might like. You're italian, you've gotta like some of it i bet (actually idk we've never tried it before but you should definitely let past me know somehow if you like it ok) (Only tried one and it was a flavor i knew i wouldn't like, i did try a yummy tea tho so I'm crossing this one off!)
these are becoming less like resolutions and more like reminders
Wear shorts more often bc despite what you might not like about them, they have a hella stella shape and your natural curves kick ass.
there actually are fruits and veggies that you like to eat, so try eating them more often man
You better definitely fucking go back to the met and spend a day there or so help me god i will fuck you up (also try totally going with a friend. Aaah, you know who)
Go to a convention! it's been forever since the last time you went to one (also try taking a friend)
look, you don't have to do eveerything on this list bc that's hella expensive, i leave it up to you to decide where your money goes. You have a whole life ahead of you to do everything you want to do. I promise you do. Death ain't gonna fuck you over bc he thinks you're pretty swell and idk you think he's swell too
become friends with death yeah
sounds like a plan
also, don't beat yourself up so much. It's bad enough that i feel like i'm an asshole, you shouldn't have to.
DRAW MORE AKUROKU FOR CHRIST'S SAKE THEY ARE YOUR OTP DRAW THEM MORE DO IT DRAW THEM FUCKING JSKNJNDRAW THEM (or read more fics like you used to. You love them with your heart and soul man, so do it)
GO TUBING BC YOU DID NOT GET TO GO THIS YEAR AND THAT WAS INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTING MAN
talk to your brother more ok bc although he's changed and you want to punch him more than you used to, you still care about that fucker
try vlogging bc people seem to enjoy listening to you (even though you feel like you have nothing good to say)
holy shit this list is long
rewrite this list later so that it only contains things that could be considered actual resolutions
You know what'd be awesome? when you gain more weight, if it's from being more active, then you'll have hella muscles and your curves will be even more MMMMMMM than they are now
remember ran kotobuki from super gals? remember how she was strong and confident and beautiful as a character and you wanted to be her as a kid? i know it was a fucking long time ago, but man, you could be that kind of person. You can be that confident, you can feel that beautiful, and you are that strong.
Main art focuses for the year (subjects): Tattoo design, monster people, couples, full bodies, robots, (pretty) macabre/gore
definitely try starting a comic. But don't rush yourself, plan things out and take your time. Develop characters, a plot, how long you intend to make it (doesn't need to be long, but it can be long term), determine how detailed you want for it to be. You can even make a bunch of mini comics that each vary in style as experiments, just try a comic maybe. Idk, this is a lot, don't pressure yourself to do all of this stuff
thumbnail more often because it helps a lot with planning drawings, rather than just scribbling nonsense
Don't feel like this list is a promise, I know for a fact that there is no way you will get all of this done in one year. And feel free to look back on this list at the end of the next year and take from it things you never got to, add them to your next list. Just because they're on another list for another year doesn't mean that you were lazy and didn't do them, it means you took your time. What matters is that you at least did something
Always remember that confidence walk gif thing, because damn you want your looks to make anyone of any gender or orientation to go "man she looks hella"
if things go wrong, don't always blame yourself. Not everything is your fault, nor is it another person's fault. Sometimes things happen without anyone playing a role in it.
you're a very nervous person, but some people love you for that and want to care about you despite all of the destruction it causes, please remember that
you better fuckin' draw something for akuroku day this year or i will piss in your shoes
Commission vickisigh and naylemonstre
You tried really hard your senior year of highschool and you felt good about how hard you tried, no matter what grade you got. Do that when you start college
Continue using a planner because you have the memory of a goldfish and it helps you a shit ton
You miss chorus class and you miss singing. So sing more, sing in public, warm up your voice more often because it has matured quite a bit, and you love the release you get when you sing.
it's fuckin' weird that adults and teachers n stuff go on tumblr. Like, who the heck do they follow, what does their dash look like?
I think this has become a stream of conscious oops
You're a really incredible person, you know? Maybe you don't know. Sometimes I forget. Actually, I forget a lot, but you know- you've changed a lot of lives. You're someones best friend. Someone admires you. Someone thinks you're beautiful. A fire sauce packet from taco bell proposed to you. Someone you greatly admire thinks you have a good heart (that's really incredible okay). You've fought depression more than once and survived. One time you did it with no one's help at all, because you are strong. There's a light, a warmth in you that makes you special, it's what attracts people to you. People love you for you, who you were and what you've become. What's important is that you see what they see in you. I know it's hard (i'm you), but... i don't know.. I just think about the kid you used to be, how confident you were, and how all of that is just lying dormant inside. Love yourself. If there's anything i want for you to get out of this next year of your life, it's to just love yourself. Love me. Love who you hate. I do love you to, but... I just... forget a lot. Don't forget.
It has been a while since I put up a update about what was up with me. I thought that I might start by covering what has happened in relation to my new years resolutions.
Here is the list and what I have done
1. Keep this blog going for at least three months, hopefully at least a year.
Ah well I still have the blog though I haven't made a proper post like this since my new year post.
2. Travel to China to teach English for a year.
Well this one I can tick off as happening now. I am teaching at Shantou University Medical College currently teaching groups of students who are going on exchanges to other universities. Despite wanting to take a break from studying I am learning more especially since I am covering English to do with medical biochemistry which means I am learning all about biochemistry. So much fun.
3. Become healthier through more regular exercise and a healthier diet.
Well I do have a membership to a gym and I get plenty of exercise bringing my groceries up to my fifth floor apartment and I am eating quite a lot of vegetables so I might be getting a little healthier. I am however still eating quite a bit of junk type food and the food here can be rather oily.
4. Have been in a happy and healthy relationship.
Well this could be an issue here in China. I do however have a lovely lady who I am sleeping with at the moment. This lovely lady would be my new kitten Mogwi.
5. Become more accepting of myself and others.
Not quite sure how this is going, so I will have to get back to you.
6. Actually have some savings come the end of the year.
Not quite the end of the year yet and this will depend on the amount of traveling I do here in China.
7. Be more helpful to my family.
Not sure if this has really happening by being over in China.
8. Be more social.
Well I am socializing with my colleagues quite a lot which is rather important for my sanity due to the fact that they can actually speak English in a city with a very small expat community.
9. Maintain a cleaner environment.
Ah, this would be considered debatable.
10. Have better sleeping habits, i.e. not being up at 4 in the morning writing blog posts.
Ah and this would probably be a no.
Well I think I have covered how I have been going for now. I will try and post some pictures from my trips soon and I will also try and update you all on my travels,
This was surprisingly simple: it barely took 48 hours to clean out all the bad blood. Finding reliable new hires has been a bit trickier, but it doesn’t take up much of his time since the replacements are generally in the lower tiers of the organisation.
Get back to my old self - in progress
Jim’s been back a bit over a year, and at times it has been rather a struggle to get his feet planted firmly on the ground. Still…he’s got some clients that are a bit more imaginative than the usual crop, so that will give him an opportunity to really get back to top form. It’s very strange to want to be the same person you were and still hold on to some of the changes.
Try not to pick fights that don’t matter - in progress
Perhaps it’s the general boredom that seems unusually prevalent at the moment, but it’s hard not to try to create conflict just to have something to sort out. Jim is becoming a bit better at this, though perhaps he doesn’t have the best vantage point on this particular issue.
Get off Clozaril - untouched
Now is hardly the time to experiment with new medication- at least in Jim’s opinion. He thinks he can easily put this off until things are a bit more stable.
Stop chasing Holmes - considering dropping
Sometimes revenge is a choice you have to make. Perhaps not a popular one, but this can’t be allowed to continue any longer.
