#resolutionsareforsuckers

[mbisthegame]

Goodbye 2019! Here’s to another year of not becoming a better person! #resolutionsareforsuckers #newyearseve #newyears #2020 #bye2019 https://www.instagram.com/p/B6wnMOBnWEp/?igshid=wyc74036bkg9

[coryjae-blog]

The List (o8)

Normally, I start these posts off with the why... (”In 2015 I’ve accepted the challenge of ‘The List...’”) This go round though, you’ll just have to backlog for that. This is the first time all year that I am posting to this list having not done any work towards it in the month prior, and I’d like to talk a little bit about that. First, however, I owe you an update from June.

Junes’s 3 Goals/Challenge

Cut Carbs & Fried Foods (Fail): This was a goal I made expecting to fail...and perhaps that’s part of the reason why I did. I can’t be sure. What I am sure of, are the following reasons. World Changers. I entered the month with a goal and man was I on it, but what I knew for sure was that once we went on our annual mission trip, I’d need the fuel of whatever was put in front of me to get through 8 hour days working on houses and 3-4 more hours supervising students and digesting services and other activities. That’s really where the this goal broke off...actually it broke en route on the road trip...but a fail is a fail.

Read a Book (Fail): I chose an excellent book to read and through road trips, down time, and more...I made it about 62% of the way through the entire book. Still...that’s not the whole book, hence the fail. On a positive note, I’m almost done with it now, after some delays, and it is really challenging my paradigm and helping me grow in an area that I consider important in my life.

Seek a PhD (Pass): I’ve sought the Lord’s face, wrestled the decision, prayed again, and prayed some more. After all of that, I’ve come to term with the fact that God is leading me further in my education. So, a doctoral program is in my future, but the details are still something to wade through.

July’s Challenge (Fail): Fail. That’s a hard word to read in this moment, mainly because I didn’t at all do what I should have done. I didn’t set my goals and therefore, could not possibly have met them. I did have some, including sharing my testimony 4 times, getting back on track with a lifestyle change, and a few others...but I never took the time to write them out and never took them seriously. The only one I even attempted was sharing my testimony (which I did twice), but July was a wash. There are lots of reasons I could give as an excuse, but instead let me share what I learned: sometimes it’s on the path believed least good for you to travel that you find the way to better yourself. Two things about me rang clearer after July than ever before. First, I’m lazy if I allow myself to be. That’s a key phrase. No matter the accountability or supporters I have, it’s up to me to fail or succeed and it’s a choice for discipline, or a choice for comforts and laziness. Secondly, I learned that sometimes it’s ok if everything doesn’t go to plan. The whole point of the list is to learn about myself and improve myself...and though I completely failed in July at The List, I still learned about me and how I can improve myself. Which brings us to August, I’m posting late but have had these goals set and have taken steps to accountability in the meantime of posting this. Now, I did not simply delay. I delayed about a week in posting this because last week my uncle had a medical emergency which ultimately resulted in his passing. That, for obvious reasons, set me back a bit...but in a lot of ways, renewed the sense of importance for me traveling the journey of this list. With that, I continue...

August’s 3 Goals/Challenges

Get committed to my Lifestyle change: I’ve had some amazing moments with diet and exercise this year, not always simultaneously. I’ve lost 10 pounds in a month, put away unhealthy foods for 8 weeks, etc...etc...etc. But if it isn’t maintained, can you really call it a lifestyle change? I don’t think so. So here’s my goal, get to a practice of one hour of cardio per day and healthy meals, 5 days per week. A one day per week, I can have a cheat day as far as food (no to go crazy just to have some foods I don’t normally eat), but on that day I will do 2 hours of cardio or equivalent exercise. On the seventh day I will rest (no pun intended)...but still eat healthy. The goal is to be in practice of this by month’s end...but that might not happen. I’m going to do my best to get there.

Read a Book: This will be hard as I am already seeking to finish one book, but I read an interesting fact recently. As it goes, if an adult reads one book per month related to their professional field, they can become an international expert in the subject matter within 7 years. I’m not sure if that’s an empty statistic, but it certainly can’t hurt me to grow my knowledge. So...away we go.

Invest in Me: This one is multi-faceted. As you read above, I’ve been evaluating getting my Doctorate degree. Now that I’m fully convinced that DMin is where God is leading my footsteps, it’s time to finalize my plans and apply. Though that may not fully happen this month, the plan is to get the process under way. I also intend to build on my brand as an artist and content-contributor for communities I’m a part of. This will include getting business cards, forming a plan to engage new people with my music in the coming year, and (prayerfully) starting to write album reviews. This list isn’t comprehensive...but I realize that at 28 years old, I’m exhausting my energy and creativity and time on lots of things, but I’m definitely not seeing the return on those investments in terms of personal growth and glorifying God with the broadest and deepest reach I possibly can. I don’t only want to do a lot, I want to use all the gifts and talents I have to offer wisely and to the greatest benefit of God’s kingdom. This will take a leap of faith.

For those just joining the journey, I don’t assume my success in these things, the goal is to authentically try. Some will be great successes, others will be great pitfalls…both should yield lessons and growth, as you can see. That’s the point. I invite anyone to join me on the challenge and set your own 36 goals to accomplish, but either be all in, or don’t commit. If you do, I would ask that you share the story of your year and challenges with others as I will. What’s the point if no one else gets to experience what we do?

My Challenge:

I will approach my challenge on a monthly schedule so as to stay the course. Here are the rules:

I will choose and post my (3) goals/challenges within the first week of each month.

I must explain the reason behind each goal when posting.

Everyone and anyone following my progress can hold me accountable by asking about my goals on this blog or other social media.

I must answer all questions related to my goals.

At the end of each month, I have to share what goals I completed or failed at, why, and what I learned or how I’ve grown.

There are no makeups; a fail is a fail. Goals can be repeated (such as an ongoing goal of weight loss) but cannot be repeated for the purpose of checking off a prior failure.

If you decide to join, please use hashtags #TheList, #resolutionsareforsuckers, and #whatwillyoudo. I accept the challenge!

[coryjae-blog]

The List (o6)

In 2015 I’ve accepted the challenge of “The List.” It’s a year-long list of things to be done or accomplished one month at a time; 12 months to accomplish 36 goals (3 per month) and tell the story here.

May’s 3 Goals/Challenge

Social Media Fast (Pass): The amount of time we spend on social media is baffling. Let me say that again. The amount of time I spend on social media is baffling. God was working a steady process of breaking my heart leading into May, and one of the things that became evident was that social media had too much of my time, attention, and heart. I was promoting music during that time, but what was really key was what led up to that time: months on months of time pouring my heart and downtime out on social media. I have been walking without the closeness and security of deep, steady friendship and accountability for some time and that turned into scrolling media tirelessly, often envying the relationships I perceived other people to have or just trying to escape the loneliness I felt, other times it ended up coming out as spouts of emotional rants on my Twitter and Instagram. Though there is nothing wrong with transparency, I was just releasing information to an open forum with no responses because I didn’t feel I had anyone to share with. “At least if social media ignores me it’ll be easier to stomach” I would reason, but all that came of that was me feeling like nobody cared what I felt. Leading up to May, God was showing me that the way I felt other people were treating me and my emotions was the way I was treating Him and His will; looking for solutions, peace, love, comfort, direction from so many others before even considering him. It was quite ridiculous. Around that time, I tweeted this quote: “You’re not entitled to people paying attention to you. Don’t let social media impress that lie upon your heart.” During May, I decided to take that advice myself. I gave up social media completely other than work obligations and to promote events I was signed on for. Other than that, Social media was given up for a month, and some interesting things happened:

Withdrawals: If you are on social media daily and have given it up for any significant amount of time, you know that it comes with withdrawals. For the first week or so...every boring moment or piece of downtime as terrible and I felt confine

I became less dependent on people: Even with a lack of attachments to people, I have been largely dependent on my attachments to people. The few friendships I do have, have really pulled at my evaluation of myself and the world around me, and when those connections weren’t what I wanted or thought they should be, it sent me into a sad state of thought. I also had some friendships that I needed and wanted to get less attached to, and not having those people be accessible to me through social media and vice versa really allowed me to do that. I had already started creating distance in those relationships, but not having so much access to them through the social sphere really helped to let go of the connections I thought we had. When you are not constantly confronted with images and posts from people, it becomes very easy to have a more sober perspective on a relationship and exactly how much you should or shouldn’t be invested. 

I became less attached to my phone: I’ve spent so much time in my phone over the past few years. Sometimes to escape the moment (okay, a lot of times), sometimes in boredom, sometimes to try to connect to other people...and far too many times I’ve been consumed with my phone at any point in time where I could pick it up. I guess you could say, my phone has become my closest companion. It’s no surprise that going without social media would lessen that tie, but man was I surprised at how effective it was! Aside from a number of times playing music from the device, I was largely unattached to my phone. often leaving it laying for hours unattended and quite a few times realizing that I had left it behind in my office or room after large amounts of time away from it. The time has really enabled me to reconnect and be immersed in the world around me. 

I spent more time in thought and prayer: Naturally without time in my phone to be a distraction, I was left to think through and confront the issues of my heart. This allowed me to see some things about myself...good and bad, and really be honest with God about what was there. This is an ongoing process, but overall it has been beneficial.

Plan and Budget Vacation (Pass): I’ve completely planned out my vacation which will be roughly 6-7 days in East Saint Louis with my family. Flight tickets, itinerary, time off, etc...it’s all taken care of in the planning. The only question that remains now is when it will be. We have a family reunion at the end of June, but there’s also a mission trip I’m slated to lead at that time. If that trip doesn’t occur, I am hoping to attend the reunion. If it does occur, I will be on vacation the first week of July. Either way, I’m excited to get things going as soon as possible. I definitely need and have earned some time away.

Cardio 5 Days per Week (Fail): I didn’t visit the gym as much as I wanted to in May, but I did make it up to 5 days of cardio on the last week of the month. The goal, however, was 5 times per week...and I didn’t do that.

June’s 3 Goals/Challenges

Cut Carbs and Fried Foods: Other than oatmeal or cereal in the mornings, I am giving up carbs and fried foods in June. Gotta get a healthier eating routine going, and this will be a huge help to get things started.

Read a Book: If you want to grow, you have to learn. If you want to learn, you have to study. It’s been too long since I’ve taken on that challenge by reading a book. Time to change it up.

Seek a PhD: I’ve been feeling a tug towards school for a while now but to this point, haven’t really asked God what His will is or looked in depth at the requirements. This is because I don’t necessarily want to go back to school...but I also don’t want to be disobedient. The last time I felt a tug like this I ended up graduating with my Master’s degree at 26. If I do end up going back to school, there will be a life overhaul, lots of things will have to change if it happens...but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Either way, it’s time to figure it out. 

For those just joining the journey, I don’t assume my success in these things, the goal is to authentically try. Some will be great successes, others will be great pitfalls…both should yield lessons and growth, as you can see. That’s the point. I invite anyone to join me on the challenge and set your own 36 goals to accomplish, but either be all in, or don’t commit. If you do, I would ask that you share the story of your year and challenges with others as I will. What’s the point if no one else gets to experience what we do?

My Challenge:

I will approach my challenge on a monthly schedule so as to stay the course. Here are the rules:

I will choose and post my (3) goals/challenges within the first week of each month.

I must explain the reason behind each goal when posting.

Everyone and anyone following my progress can hold me accountable by asking about my goals on this blog or other social media.

I must answer all questions related to my goals.

At the end of each month, I have to share what goals I completed or failed at, why, and what I learned or how I’ve grown.

There are no makeups; a fail is a fail. Goals can be repeated (such as an ongoing goal of weight loss) but cannot be repeated for the purpose of checking off a prior failure.

If you decide to join, please use hashtags #TheList, #resolutionsareforsuckers, and #whatwillyoudo. I accept the challenge!

[coryjae-blog]

The List (o5)

In 2015 I’ve accepted the challenge of “The List.” It’s a year-long list of things to be done or accomplished one month at a time; 12 months to accomplish 36 goals (3 per month) and tell the story here.

April’s 3 Goals/Challenge

Take a Selfish Weekend (Pass): The goal was simple, take one weekend to be work free. FLYING COLORS PASS, and it felt so good! I got all my work done by the time I left the office (felt like the first time ever), and I spent my weekend on Netflix, visiting friends, working on music. It felt like I had more time than I knew what to do with...it was so good to take time to myself, and get some real rest. Truth be told, it was the only real rest I’d had on a weekend in months. Gotta make this happen more often.

Release My new Music Project (Pass): I’ve spent the better part of the past few months balancing my waking hours between the demands of an increasingly complex job and the creation of a project that would serve as a snapshot of my heart over the past two years. This meant drowsy, long hours at work, weekends in the studio,on-going communications after recording sessions, hours spent on mixing and mastering, design and plastering of promotional materials, and more. There has been so little time to do much of anything for almost 2 months now aside from work, and working on this EP, but it has been worth the struggle overall. On April 28th, I released my first completely original music project in over 2 years, an EP entitled “Sombody Pick Up.” The project is personal, real, and the gateway to what may be my last stretch of efforts as a musical artist. I was always excited to share it, but the response has been the overwhelming thing. The numbers are not astounding, the downloads did not break the internet; but the people who have heard the project have been moved and impacted by it. Some of have related deeply to the truth I shared in the project, others have been burdened with and put off by truths I shared involving them, so to some extent it has been polarizing while being impactful, at least to some degree. I’m content in that, especially in the responses of people who have deeply related to the tension, struggle, and journey of faith & self-discovery represented in the lyrics. It has moved some, troubled others, and encouraged and entertained still more. No matter what the numbers turn out to be in the end, the impact makes all of the long hours worth it. In case you missed it, you can download the project absolutely free here.

Cardio 5 Days per Week (Fail): Because of the schedule crunch (see the section above), and in part because waining motivation, I visited the gym only once in the month of April and did only 2-3 cardio wokouts overall. There’s no positive spin here, just the hard truth to look at. I’ll have to better prioritize to succeed in a healthier lifestyle.  

May’s 3 Goals/Challenges

Cardio 5 Days per Week: I’ve got a new gym membership, might as well use it.

Social Media Fast: I have some obligations to post on social media professionally, outside of that, I won’t be on social media this month. I’ve deleted the apps from my phone so I won’t be compelled to cheat.

Plan and Budget Vacation: I need some time away and new scenery...and after 2 years, I think it’s time for me to make my way back to East Saint Louis this summer. That being said, I’ve got some planning to do, so I will get to it.

For those just joining the journey, I don’t assume my success in these things, the goal is to authentically try. Some will be great successes, others will be great pitfalls…both should yield lessons and growth, as you can see. That’s the point. I invite anyone to join me on the challenge and set your own 36 goals to accomplish, but either be all in, or don’t commit. If you do, I would ask that you share the story of your year and challenges with others as I will. What’s the point if no one else gets to experience what we do?

My Challenge:

I will approach my challenge on a monthly schedule so as to stay the course. Here are the rules:

I will choose and post my (3) goals/challenges within the first week of each month.

I must explain the reason behind each goal when posting.

Everyone and anyone following my progress can hold me accountable by asking about my goals on this blog or other social media.

I must answer all questions related to my goals.

At the end of each month, I have to share what goals I completed or failed at, why, and what I learned or how I’ve grown.

There are no makeups; a fail is a fail. Goals can be repeated (such as an ongoing goal of weight loss) but cannot be repeated for the purpose of checking off a prior failure.

If you decide to join, please use hashtags #TheList, #resolutionsareforsuckers, and #whatwillyoudo. I accept the challenge!

[coryjae-blog]

The List (o2)

In 2015 I've accepted the challenge of “The List.” It’s a year-long list of things to be done or accomplished one month at a time; 12 months to accomplish 36 goals (3 per month) and tell the story here. 

January’s 3 Goals/Challenges:

Lose 10 Pounds (Fail): This is the goal I fell short on this month. After my most recent doctor visit (and a reread of the stats from the last one), the official count is down 8 pounds from the start of January. I probably did myself in as far as this goal by changing my diet after a week in 2015 had already passed me by, and I also didn't work out much. Still, 8 pounds over the course of 3 weeks is nothing to scoff at. What I basically did was drink water, cut out fast food restaurants, cut down on all fried food and red meat, and taken to fruit and vegetable smoothies. There are some other minor dietary changes I made, but that's mainly what happened. I figure with a workout regimen, I should be able to up my progress in February.

Go on a date (Pass): As you may have read, my goal was to go on a date (defined as spending defined intentional time with someone I have a genuine desire to spend time with. There was no intention toward anything physical or even a resulting relationship, just the inquiry of and execution of time spent with such a person.) Now, this one comes with a story. I succeeded at the goal, but the way it unfolded was unique to say the least. I had plans to go to the movies with a friend for sometime, but it didn't work out for a number of reasons so we ultimately ended up rescheduling for the second week of January at my request. By then, my challenges were posted, and having been a reader of my blog, she assumed that this was my date. It wasn't as far as I was concerned, but she is really the only one that the challenge was applicable to, as I do actually have interest in her. So, I went ahead and squashed the movie idea (sort of) and asked if I could actually take her on a date. She agreed. Now, I was excited, and I let her know it a few times, but that didn't really lead to conversation (these types of statements usually do in our friendship), but instead became more like awkward pauses. Eventually she came to visit me on the day of the date and asked if we could talk. Internally, I could see a scenario forming, but I waited so as not to jump to a conclusion. I agreed and she started to talk and I noticed a few specific differences in her demeanor. First was her positioning. Usually, she'd sit before starting a conversation, but she didn't. Secondly, she was fidgeting and drawing out her words; a sure indication of nervousness. Third, she wasn't looking me in my eyes. By the time she had completed her first sentence, I knew where this was going. She said, "I know I agreed to go tonight, and I still want to. I just wanted to make sure we're clear on where we stand..." I stopped her there. This was clearly about to get far more uncomfortable for her, and then for me by proxy and I wanted no part of that. I had been through the "friendzone" conversation enough times to not have to hear the whole thing in order to get the point. "I got it, we're good," I said. There was some semi-shocked dialogue about how I got what she meant though I didn't let her say it, and then that was that. Nonetheless, we went on the date. I talked her into dinner, so we went out to a Chili's (the food was abysmal) and then to the movies. I made conversation, showed interest in her interests and happenings in life, demonstrated leadership and self-confidence as well as the utmost respect for her. I did all these things knowing there was no next date to follow this one, and I'm happy for it. Impressing her was not the point, and neither was getting further than the friendship we have. The point was having enough confidence and self-assurance to take the chance, not on her, but on me. Someday this experience will help me...even though it was very awkward. I can honestly say, I never thought I'd know how it feels to be on a date with someone I know has no interest in me...and even more so, to know that BEFORE the date began. It was a good experience though. 

Spend more time with Family (Pass): Quite simply, accomplished. 2 dinners with my mom and uncle, family time at my brothers house, and I will be watching the Super Bowl in the same place, with the same people. I learned how much I love and need my family, but also how much they need me. I'm more intent to keep them a priority in my life.

There we have it, with that, The List is officially under way for me. Now it's on to the next 3:

February’s 3 Goals/Challenges:

Lose 10 Pounds: I have gotten back track toward my weight loss and health goals, but I've go to keep it going. This month, in addition to the good nutrition, it's important to start some regular exercise, so let's see if I can get up to five 30-minute cardio sessions per week by month's end. Remember, this weigh-loss goal will be a staple for my monthly list and if I succeed, I should be down 120 lbs. by the end of 2015.

Dive deep into recording my New Project: So I rap...hopefully that isn't a surprise to you if you follow this blog. Well, one thing people have been asking for recently is new music, and I intend to give it to them soon. I am finishing up the writing process and now it's time for the hard studio work to begin. 

Find a new Place to Live: I need to move closer to work or leave the job I have...in a number of ways, I just can't afford to live where I live AND work where I work. Beyond that very practical reason though, I have felt this need for more independence for some time now that I really feel is pushing me into the next stage of life, and I need my own space to explore that. I don't have to be moved in completely, but I need a new place this month.

For those just joining the journey, I don’t assume my success in these things, the goal is to authentically try. Some will be great successes, others will be great pitfalls…both should yield lessons and growth as you can see. That’s the point. I invite anyone to join me on the challenge and set your own 36 goals to accomplish, but either be all in, or don’t commit. If you do, I would ask that you share the story of your year and challenges with others as I will. What’s the point if no one else gets to experience what we do?

My Challenge:

I will approach my challenge on a monthly schedule so as to stay the course. Here are the rules:

I will choose and post my (3) goals/challenges within the first week of each month.

I must explain the reason behind each goal when posting.

Everyone and anyone following my progress can hold me accountable by asking about my goals on this blog or other social media.

I must answer all questions related to my goals.

At the end of each month, I have to share what goals I completed or failed at, why, and what I learned or how I’ve grown.

There are no makeups; a fail is a fail. Goals can be repeated (such as an ongoing goal of weight loss) but cannot be repeated for the purpose of checking off a prior failure. 

If you decide to join, please use hashtags #TheList, #resolutionsareforsuckers, and #whatwillyoudo. I accept the challenge!