This Isn't a Pity Party
In late September of last year, I suffered a spontaneous retinal detachment. The healing process and, of course, realizing that I could have been blinded was traumatic. What was more stressful was the fact that I had to leave school, the one thing that I think I'm great at and the one thing I loved best.
When I returned to school in January, I was a wreck. I took on more than I could realistically accomplish and was in a perpetual state of hysteria. For the first time, I really believed that I would not finish the semester, but it was incredibly important that I "proved myself."
I worked my 16 hour days while life zoomed by, and I still felt like a failure in the process. Yes, I suppose I had a legitimate reason to be nervous, but I so wish that I would not have lost sight of all the things that are so important.
As a result of this stress, I am now dealing with Grave's Disease. This autoimmune disease began to attack my thyroid months ago; I attributed the side effects to stress, and anyway, I didn't "have time to visit the doctor" regardless of how sick I felt. Now I'm seeking treatment too late, and the road to recovery will be long.
After my surgery, I told myself that I would appreciate the "little things" every day, because after all, I was lucky just to be seeing them. Unfortunately, I didn't follow through with this new mentality. Now I wish I had. If I could do it again, I would not neglect my health for a "good reputation in the College of Education." Obviously, academic success is important, but not so important that I am sitting here saying, "Being sick is worth the success I've had." It really isn't.
This is not a pity party. I feel sorry enough for myself anyway, because what I'm dealing with now is my fault. I understand that overcoming stress and even trauma is easier said than done, but I sincerely hope that you will try. This is not a lesson you have to learn the hard way; you can promote your overall wellness simply by eating right, laughing with your best friend, or dancing in the car on the way to work. Remember what is important to you, and don't be ashamed to do less than your best just once for the sake of your well-being, because in your last hour, you won't regret putting your work aside to nourish your body, mind, and soul.