a fleeting dream. | revenant x reader
summary: Revenant couldn't dream, he never could. He tried to recall the last time he had been like you. Human, asleep, nestled in the warmth of a bed, mind at rest. But, that part of his life was so distant now, it was as if it had never existed at all.
!! content: established relationship, fluff?, angst, kissing, dreams, comfort, kaleb cross & mention of his past life, frustration, inner turmoil
Amidst the pillows on your bed, your chest rose and fell as you slumbered in peace. A soft light, the moon shone brightly, slipping through the gap in your curtains. The room was still, filled with nothing but steady silence and the faint hum of something nearby.
Hours had ticked away and Revenant lay beside you, optics fixed on the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep, he never could, whilst you made it look effortlessly easy.
Each time you slept beside him, he always found himself reminiscing. He tried to recall the last time he had been like you. Human, asleep, nestled in the warmth of a bed, mind at rest. But, that part of his life was so distant now, it was as if it had never existed at all.
Solemn, he propped himself up on one shoulder, moving carefully so as not to wake you. His eyes glowed brightly, casting a dull orange hue over your skin. You looked so calm.
He reached out gently and raised his metallic hand to your face. He was careful, something he’d never pictured himself being capable of again. His thumb stroked gently across your cheek, mindful not to graze your skin.
A stray lock of hair had fallen over your face, and he brushed it aside. You stirred softly at the touch, shifting just slightly in your sleep. He coiled his fingers backwards.
Small and fragile. One move, just one, and he could end you in an instant. Rip your life away with his bare hands. That’s what he was built for. A weapon. A machine designed to kill.
But he couldn’t. Not with you.
You didn’t look at him and see what the world saw. You didn’t flinch at his sharp edges or the nasty words he’d hurl at you. Somehow, you saw more. To everyone else, he was only a monster, feared and hated. You spoke to him gently, touched him without fear, let him into your space, your bed, your life.
So, as he watched over you, he thought and thought. Endlessly trying to make sense of it. Why did you treat him this way? With kindness, with trust. With something that felt like love. He couldn’t offer you real companionship, he wasn’t human, not anymore. You deserved so much better, someone living and breathing.
The wind outside howled lowly, as rain splattered against the windows. And, through the midst of his inter turmoil, “Kaleb?” he heard you whisper out to him.
Through half lidded eyes, you met his gaze. If anyone else saw those piercing optics staring down at them in the dead of night, they’d be screaming in sheer terror. But no, not you.
Revenant didn’t speak, he only stared.
Then, just like before, he stroked your cheek again. You smiled faintly, and slowly slipped your arm out from under the covers and gently placed your hand on his. It was cold, made from steel, a stark contrast compared to your own.
“Go back to sleep,” Revenant whispered as lowly as he could, but his chassis still rumbled. “I was only watching.”
You brought his hand closer, brushing your lips against the cool metal with a delicate kiss. A gesture so pure, that it made something in him ache in a way he couldn’t name.
His eyes stayed on you as if trying to memorize the feeling. You pulled yourself closer to him, and rested your head against his arm, eyes drifting shut again.
You found a strange comfort in his presence, in silence or not. In the stillness of the night, you felt less alone with him beside you. And, he did too. The thought of being this close to someone the way he is, he’d always figured it’d be impossible.
“Just try, try to sleep,” you murmured, voice quietly fading. “Even if you’re pretending.”
Revenant stared down at you, unmoving. You were already slipping back into sleep, completely at ease. He let out a sigh, and carefully, he reclined beside you, metal limbs moving with delicacy. He positioned his arm around you, holding you close to his chest.
Then, the glow of his optics faded into darkness, mimicking closed eyes.
He slowed his processes. Reduced his power. Suppressed his systems. He tried to simulate rest. But all that came was stillness. An endless stretch of nothing. No dreams. No peace, thoughts still whirring. Just the quiet tick of his internal mechanisms, and the hushed hum of your breath beside him.
Once again, his mind spiralled, caught in the same loop that haunted him night after night, day after day.
Forever, he would long that he could be something more for you, only you. He couldn’t even kiss you properly, the touch of real lips on yours. Couldn’t truly feel you, give you the tender touch you most likely craved for. He couldn’t even give you a child. He couldn’t give you anything human, and it added to a long list of why he hated this form, this curse.
So why? Why were you doing this to him? Why didn’t you run and see him for what he was, a monster twisted into metal and fury?
God, it irritated him. The way you looked at him, the way you touched him like he was something gentle. It crawled in and out of his mind, burned through his circuits, and gnawed at everything hollow inside him.
And yet… if he truly didn’t like it, if he truly wanted to rid himself of your presence, of your unwavering love, he could. He could have silenced you long ago, swiftly and easily. A flick of his wrist, a twist of metal fingers, and you’d be gone.
He pictured it in his mind, what it’d be like killing you. To wrap his fingers around your throat, watch your life drain from your eyes, to finally sever the thread that tied you to him.
The thought alone should’ve thrilled him. It should’ve stirred that all too familiar satisfaction and glee that came with violence. But instead... it made him sick.
A sudden lurch. And then, the world had dropped out beneath him. That stomach twisting sensation of falling, deep and endless, into a void of darkness with no bottom.
He couldn’t kill you, why couldn’t he kill you?
His body jerked upright, eyes snapping open. The room returned, dark and quiet.
Panic struck him. What’d happened? That sensation he’d just experienced, it as all too foreign.
He turned sharply, and you remained still, pressed close to him, undisturbed. Your face rested peacefully against the pillow you’d fallen on, the side of his chest no longer offering balance.
But something was wrong. That hadn’t felt like a glitch. It hadn’t felt like anything he'd ever known as a machine.
Before he could make sense of it, the world around him flickered. One blink, and the darkness swallowed him whole again.
He gasped, sharp, sudden, human. Breath. Air filled his lungs. His lungs.
His heart thundered in his chest. Skin. His hands, real human hands, trembling, moved in front of his face, and he stared in disbelief. Flesh. Veins. Calloused fingertips. He turned them over, again and again, as if they’d vanish if he started for too long.
No metal, no sharp edges. No cold plating locking him into a body he never asked for. He looked down, seeing a bare chest rising and falling with each panicked breath. He touched his face, stubble.
He could feel everything. Nothing felt dampened like it did before, and for the first time in centuries, it felt like he was alive .
His gaze quickly flicked to the mirror atop your vanity. He needed to see himself. To confirm that the warmth in his chest, the pulse beneath his skin, was real. That this wasn’t just another cruel trick programmed into his mind.
He shifted carefully, muscles unfamiliar with such a motion, preparing to rise and cross the room. Every movement felt foreign as if he were learning how to move his body all over again. But before he could take a single step, a soft weight pressed against his arm, anchoring him in place.
“Where are you going?” Your voice was light and questioning. It stopped him cold, dead in his tracks.
He looked down to find your eyes half open, fixed on him with a mix of concern and something softer. “Kaleb?”
In that moment, the room felt impossibly small, and yet the space between you felt endless.
For a moment, words failed him, as he looked at you and then at his fingers. “I…” His voice came out rough. “I don’t know.”
You shifted closer, your fingers curling gently around his trembling hand.
His eyes lingered on your face, tracing the gentle curves and soft lines. The comfort of your hand in his was like a spark, igniting something inside him he hadn’t felt in years. His breath hitched, heart pounding.
Without thinking or hesitating, he leaned closer. His lips brushed yours, tentative at first, but growing more certain with every passing second. It was a kiss unlike any he had ever known, filled with the strange, aching longing of a soul reborn.
You didn’t pull away, you melted into the moment, your breath mingling with his, grounding him further in this fragile reality.
When you both finally parted, his eyes searched yours. “Come back to bed, it’s still late,” you said softly, pulling him down onto the mattress with you.
He froze, and shock rippled through him. The moment still raw. Why would you say that? Why haven’t you questioned this form of his? You didn’t seem to care that he was human again, at all.
His mind raced, struggling to piece all of it together. He searched your face for answers. There was no hesitation in your gaze, no judgment, only quiet acceptance and something unspoken.
“You’ve always been a human,” you whispered, “you just don't believe it anymore.”
He parted his lips to respond, but before he could speak, the world around him began to dissolve. The touch of your hand, the softness of the bed, it all faded into ash.
The edges of reality blurred, bending and twisting until the fleeting reality peeled away like smoke caught in a breeze.
And then, cold. Harsh. Unforgiving.
His optics reactivated with a low whir, the familiar orange tint glowing amidst the darkness of the bedroom. The weight of steel limbs returned. No breath. No skin. Just the low hum of his cooling fans buried beneath plating and wires.
His fingers flexed, metal clicking softly in the dark. He turned his hand slowly, scanning it up and down, each joint. He brought it closer to his face, holding it still, trying to remember the phantom feeling of having skin, bones, and a heartbeat nestled within his chest.
But it was gone. Only alloy and steel remained.
Turning his head, breathless though he had no lungs, and looked down at you. You were still lying against his chest, sleeping quietly and untouched. Your touch bled into him, even through the layers of his armour.
He held you closer. Carefully, as if afraid you’d vanish too.
He stayed like that, motionless, his arms wrapped carefully around you for minutes, hours. Just listening to the sound of your breathing, until the gentle morning light seeped through the gaps between the curtains.
And gradually, something began to settle inside him. A realisation.
You had made him feel alive again, in ways he hadn’t let himself believe were possible. He could spend hours arguing with himself, convincing his mind that it was only programming, a mimicry of emotions written into code.
But deep down, beneath the circuits, he knew better. He’d dreamt.
He felt everything a human could feel. And maybe more, because he had once lost it all, and now, with you, it was coming back to him. Not his old life, but something new.
You made him dream again, you’d proven it was possible, that he wasn’t just a hollow machine. He wouldn’t let you go. Not now. Not ever.
A/N: This is an unusually short piece of writing for me, usually I manage to tank out 6k+ word oneshots. Anyway, thank you for reading! If you liked this please leave me a heart or comment since it motivates me to write more!
