i have just now, as i write Sapnap angst, realized something
we all know Sapnap has the Death Book. we all know about the deal with XD. kill Dream, lose all three of his lives
now let's say that had happened. it would have been for nothing. it would have been for nothing. do you get it?
Sapnap would have sacrificed himself, all three of his untouched lives, to kill his brother so his fiancees that don't even talk to each other anymore, his friend who is never awake, all the people he hates and loves and is neutral about, everyone would be safe. No limbo, no ghost, no nothing. But Punz has the Revive Book, and Dream would have been back five minutes later
that sacrifice is now worthless. it means nothing, it changes nothing aside from the fact that there's no Sapnap anymore
it just— it strikes a horrible fear that a sacrifice so big would mean nothing. because when all your life has been a series of friendships and relationships and– and projects, visions that don't even matter anymore, and it ends with such a big sacrifice and it changes nothing then... what have you done with your life? why did it ever matter?
if nothing changes then all the pain and heartache really was worthless. and there's nothing worse than worthless suffering
