I'm watching "The Unstable SMP Experience" (oh apparently it's now called "I Joined the World's Largest Minecraft Server"), the very beginning
Talk about how Parrot isn't passively suicidal. Back in the end civ, after the end fight, he says to Wifies, "I almost died, got down to half a heart at one point". And wow look at him now. running from withers at world spawn with half a heart and 4 carrots, not nearly as scared as during the end fight, where he was literally shaking after.
(The guy started anew but it's almost as if he doesn't care about survival that much. just tries his best and wings it. he's even more scared about his life when hiding in Theo's little shack than when he first spawns. the guy just stands there while a few other players die like 1 block away, to withers. cares about the process, doesn't care about the aftermath. he only needed to run away, reset, distract and forget, so his ultimate focus here is more of just running. Not to anywhere but from somewhere. I headcanon it was a dissociative fugue, especially given we're never shown the travel process, as if he never remembered it in the first place
Additionally, I think he was in desperate need of that near-death experience again. That's lots of emotions and adrenaline - sure would serve as a decent distraction, and it does. Because Parrot has been through so much, he knows the only thing which can overpower his current emotions is literally facing death. In that sense, he chose the perfect setting to feel that rebirth. He even forced himself to have no items.)
The remaining carrots happened to be just enough of an advantage to get him away alive. Still, that's something provided by his past self to him, but once the carrots are eaten, he's clear! Arguably, when he's out of carrots, that is the moment he starts fearing about his life and actually starts paying attention to the surroundings to search for hiding. Carrots are kind of a symbol of being protected by something someone else is doing for him from the outside, so once they're gone, he can finally recognize there's no one passively helping him - something he'd already got used to.
Like, there comes the shift of the perspective. He had been used to knowing he won't die, the director had been keeping him safe, so he associated the feeling of safety with being persecuted. At spawn, he finally sees that nothing is preventing him from dying - a clear sign of not being followed and controlled anymore
Moreover, the near-death experience is not provided by some other player, someone else for him to fear again, no. it's just a hostile environment. to be chased by a wither is not the same as to be chased by someone who can remember you, seek revenge later, or worse, feel something for you. it's just withers. run away from them, and you're safe, and you never have to think about them again
so haphazard, yet so intentional. i bet he didn't rationalize any of that and simply followed the subconscious, which knew exactly where it was leading him to.
