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Hi there, is a term for a system that is yet to be "born"? Like a system that's still developing, and will come out and exist when its ready?
I’ve been trying to ask around for a term for this but I haven’t been able to find one. Maybe protosystem?
I now have to deal with what happened yesterday and how it changed our system and the newbies and shit, all while having to pack and go home tomorrow.
So. We just took acid. Partner system isn't doing okay and neither are we. Mikey made a bad decision but I'm trying to focus on everything being fine because that's what you're supposed to do on acid I think?
I fucking wish I looked physically like how I do in my head. all the clothes I like don't fit me right. it's very frustrating. the body is so... big, and I'm not. like nothing against being Big it's just incorrect so I always feel unproportioned
I feel like I have to like Mikey because he's the host, but I just don't. I cooperate and work with him and everyone so we function. But sometimes the temptation is there: just don't do his essay, or something. I just don't think he's good at being host. I hate it when we're co and I have his thoughts.
Despite the wishing I was always in headspace because Miles thing, I really fucking wish I was my own person. Or the host. I want to live my life, i want to study what i want. i don't care about folklore! i dont want an art/English degree! I want to study other shit, like true crime, even forensics (then maybe teach it because fuck being a cop of any kind). I don't particularly like Mikey. I'm vaguely protective of him and sort of care about him and his life but also he pisses me off a lot. I don't know.
I hate being out because I'm away from Miles. I don't know what it's like when we're in the headspace, but I know we get to be around each other, and when I'm out I feel so disconnected from him.
I just realized why Mikey doesnt want to admit Skyler was a different person than him- it makes him feel like the did/osdd is fake
