#rich comtenn

[paranoiapark]

So rich, what is the story then? We can't just help you without you giving us the scoop man

RICH: Look, we don’t have time for this. I need to get back to Eric, every second I’m away is another second that I’m fucking DYING and it’s just not going to work. If I can get back, I’ll be at full power and function again, and when I’m at full power and function, I can do shit like, say, manipulate the fuck out of Cthulhu! Which lends to the idea that, hey, maybe I can get this Wisp thing then, if it’s afraid of Kenny. Right?? By logic, that makes it seem weaker.

RICH: SO, help me out. Go to one of my allies, and summon them to help out. Any one of them can help, you just have to convince them. And no, no one dies this time, unless YOU fuck it up and betray me. If you fuck me over instead of help out, I’ll know, and I’ll fucking ruin the ally you turn traitor.

RICH: So, who’s it gonna be?

[paranoiaparksandrec]

Really Rich? Why can't we trust you? Don't you fucking feed off fear and chaos or some shit?

Rich: 

It’s fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

[paranoiapark]

His eyes just fluctuate? Come on, Rich. We know it was you.

RICH: Okay, okay, fine. So maybe you’ve figured that out. Whatever! Big fuckin’ deal. Maybe it’s better this way, especially since Kenny seems to be fucking guarding the place now.

RICH: Butters can’t break me out like this, with Kenny on high alert. What a bunch of shit.

RICH: But! Butters can distract him at the very least. So listen, here’s the idea. You’re going to help me get back out. And trust me, you want me out. Regardless of what Kenny says, that’s a misunderstanding. He’s confused and doesn’t trust me. I’m the good guy here, okay? I just need to get back to where I belong before I can do anything. So, how about you help me out?

[paranoiapark]

OK SO GLOWY BLUE EYE ERIC = HUMAN AND DEFINITELY ERIC, GLOWY BROWN EYE ERIC = ???? ACCORDING TO RICH

Personally, I think his eyes just fluctuate.

-Rich Comtenn

[paranoiaparksandrec]

Rich, you claim to be the good guy, yet you haven't told us who's the real enemy. Any remarks?

Rich:

Literally the Wisp, you dumb motherfucker. I actually fucking said that and everything.

[paranoiaparksandrec]

i dunno rich, kenny seems pretty convinced about this 'misunderstanding' and we kinda have more reason to trust him over you

Rich:

What reason do you have to not trust me?

[paranoiaparksandrec]

Well Ric, I would’ve gone with Kenny, but since he was a dick by not telling us the story behind you, Eric, and other shit I’ll go with your plan.

Rich:

Great, just don't let anyone else fuck it up.

[paranoiaparksandrec]

Why do you like looking like Eric Rich??

Rich:

I don’t have to play pretend for people to believe I’m him.