How come you don't post as much anymore? I'm not hating I just wanna know because I feel like a lot of writers are saying they're unmotivated at the moment
Ok I'll be honest.
It's because of my home life. I don't think I ever realised just how selfish men are until I had a baby with one. It's like, ingrained into them to ALWAYS put themselves first no matter what.
I am drowning in housework, I get up at 5:30-6am every day with my daughter, then I make everyone's breakfast, and play with her. My partner gets up at 8:30-9am, and sits in the living room on his phone. He doesn't play with her other than throwing out random words every now and then, and if she wants to sit on his lap, he's got his phone next to her scrolling through reddit or Instagram. Then I take her for her nap, which, when she's sick like she is now, can take almost an hour of her crying, writhing around and scratching me until she falls asleep. Then when she's finally down, I come downstairs and my partner hasn't tidied up the mess from the morning, breakfast dishes aren't done, toys and food all over the living room, and he's not even in, because he's gone to the gym. So I have to tidy all of that, and then I get approximately 30-40 minutes to shower or eat, or work out or write, and I have to choose which one I get to do. Then she wakes up and I have to make lunch for her, and then my partner goes to work. Then the afternoon is spent playing with her, trying to do laundry, cleaning, tidying, more dishes, food shopping all whilst she screams because she wants me to hold her. Then I make dinner, clean the kitchen, take her for her bath and then put her to bed, which again can take up to an hour. Then it's 9pm and I have to tidy up her toys, eat my own dinner, and THEN I can sit down to write. My partner gets home at 10pm, makes a mess in the kitchen making his dinner, and complains that I don't hang out with him enough, I go to bed at 11pm, he doesn't tidy up his mess so it's left for the next morning, and then the cycle continues.
He knows I'm overwhelmed, overstimulated, and that I cannot relax until the house is clean. Thank you to OCD and autism for that. But he does not care, because he wants to go to the gym. OR goes to another gym class in the morning three times a week, so he isn't even in from 10am most days. I'm sick of communicating my issues with no change, and I am exhausted.
So I don't feel super motivated to write about men when I live with one who pisses me off every day. Apart from this one Gator fic that is based off all of this, lol.
Anyway. JKCU Headcanons post coming later.
