💝 What do they want the most from a romantic relationship? Is it what they need?
rielle wants a beautiful epic love story. as always she's thinking about the narrative and being just like her mom for real so she's drawn to the idea of a secret forbidden romance. to being with someone who seems like the last person she would love but who is her perfect match because their lives have crazy cinematic parallels. which is not to say she only likes ariadne for the cinematic parallels, but i think that's what she'd want from any romantic relationship no matter who it was with.
but what she needs is...not even quite emotional support but a safe place to access emotions she is otherwise not touching. she can microdose on processing her trauma by talking to ariadne about hers. she can break down crying in front of her even if she will nooooot be unpacking why. in a truly ideal world she might be with someone who would eventually get her to her unpack these things but here we are </3
happy almost new year! 2022 was the first year in a very long time that i consistently wrote every month, so i'm excited to look back on it! my writing this year was dominated by my latest wip, next day after dawn, including both canonverse content and a lot of stupid au bullshit <3
details under the cut!
january
in january i was still very much in dearer than a friend mode after finishing the first draft in november, but with no progress to make on the book itself i ended up writing some speculative post-canon (and very non-canon) nonsense involving preston getting into a terrible terrible relationship with another man. this one was a collab with @inkgel for which we definitely wrote a sane and normal amount of content
It’s not that he intended for this to happen. But the truth has been bubbling up for so long now, and eroding him a little more each time it does, wearing away at whatever remains of his willpower, his sense of himself, his belief that he has anything left to lose.
And he’s already damned. He knows that deep down. He could repent, he supposes. Maybe God would forgive him. But Val won’t. He doesn’t really see the point.
And it’s because of that too. Because he’s alone now, in a way he never has been, never could have been for the past eleven years of his life, because he always had someone who was supposed to be his. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to forget it when it feels like a piece of him has been ripped out, leaving a gaping wound that throbs and bleeds and refuses even to begin to heal. So he has to find someone to fill it, even if they don’t fit quite right.
february
in february i was mostly focused on my classes, but that did involve reading paradise lost and briefly getting very fixated on eve. i wrote less than two pages of this, but i was having fun with some dialogue between eve and satan. it was interesting to try to figure out what the pov of someone so ignorant of the world might look like
“Are you an angel?” I ask. That creature that he is talking to as I am talking to you. I do not really know what an angel is. He would not let me listen with him so it could be explained to me. But I know that an angel is something greater than me, and you are greater than me, but you are not Him, so I think maybe that is right.
“I was an angel,” you say.
“Was?”
“I don’t know if I can explain it to you.”
I feel something when you say that, something that I have no name for, but I know it is something that is bad to feel. Frustration, I think. I am good at naming things. I am as good as him. Sometimes I wish that He had left some of the animals for me to name too, but that is something that is bad to wish.
march
in march i decided i needed to get out of endlessly spinning dtaf mode. i also read gtn and remembered how much i love ensemble casts. and lo and behold, next day after dawn was born. this was one of the very first scenes i wrote, between mona and her mother austra when mona is (spoilers) experiencing life threatening illness moments. their mother/daughter dynamic is everything to me
“Don’t lie,” she said, and tried not to think about the fact that she sounded more than a little like she was begging. “Don’t—Selene can’t lie for shit, and she told me everything was fine, but she probably just wanted to avoid a difficult conversation, probably thought it was for the best, because she’s an idiot, but if you lie—”
The room felt suffocating, stuffy and overly hot. She was suddenly viscerally aware of the sticky dampness of sweat beneath her shirt, and that, somehow, was more overwhelming than the pain that spiderwebbed from her pounding head all the way down her back. Her mother was silent, her face still very nearly impassive, but there was something in the slight furrowing of her brows that Mona thought looked terribly sad.
“Don’t you dare,” Mona said furiously. Her eyes were burning. She blinked hard to clear the definitely-not-tears forming there. “Don’t you dare act like I’m going to die.”
april
more ndad snippets! this was from the first full scene i finished, which ended up being prince cyrus' pov of the first night after the coup. he is so mentally ill
Cyrus thought that was a nice enough idea on paper, given the circumstances. But when it became clear that it involved putting on his least comfortable court clothes and shuffling into a musty, overly crowded hall where three scuffed tables and a dozen mismatched chairs had been pushed together in some imitation of a royal banquet, he very quickly began to have second thoughts.
Cassandane tried to motion for him to sit at the head of the table when they came in. He sat just to the right of it instead, as he would have if he really had been at court. If the king had been here. But the fact that he wasn’t didn’t make it feel any more right to take his place. So Cyrus didn’t. No one else did either. The chair sat untouched at the front of the room, a ghost in an empty seat.
Not a ghost, Cyrus tried to remind himself. Just not here. He would be back soon. They would all be back soon. He couldn’t handle thinking anything else.
may
ndad strikes again! this is going to be most of this. here we have the first darcy pov i wrote, featuring them being sent to woo princess cassandane for prince cyrus and falling head over heels in love with her themself. (take a shot every time someone in ndad has a line about being or not being their father's son)
“I am not a real princess,” she told them after a long moment. “But I am interested in becoming a queen.”
She looked one already, Darcy thought. Her eyes were diamond hard, her jaw and cheekbones carved from marble. She could have knocked her father’s statue to the ground and stood on the pedestal in its place and put it to shame. She could have told them to do anything for her, and it wouldn’t have crossed their mind not to obey. She was all that a queen should be.
And Darcy was what they should have been. They were not truly the King’s ambassador, nor the Prince’s surrogate. Their loyalty went only as far as their self-interest. They were not their father’s son. But they were, if nothing else, an excellent liar, which was why they could never fully explain the sudden urge they felt to tell her the truth.
june
in june i wrote a short story for a shakespeare-themed horror anthology! it did not get in, but this was my first shot at horror, so i had a ton of fun anyway. i'll probably post this one on ao3 soon -- it's fun little examination of the inherent freakiness of the ending of all's well that ends with, this time with 100% more black magic
Here’s my confession: I don’t love my wife.
Confession’s probably the wrong word though. Cause it’s not like I can tell anyone. Everyone around here thinks we got our perfect miracle of a storybook ending, so maybe I’m the one who’s wrong for not wanting it. Maybe I deserve this. My happily ever after.
I don’t know how they believe it. Well, they believe it because I said it, I said I love Helen, and the lie came out smoother than it should have, given the circumstances, because God knows I’ve had too much practice. Maybe I sounded like I meant it.
What I actually said was that I’d love her forever. I never said I was smart.
july
we're back in ndad land, and oh boy, this was a month. july was the first time i've ever beaten nanowrimo, fully unintentionally, simply because @wren-is-writing and i went fucking insane with the au fanfiction. but the piece that started it all was renan's backstory, aka renan's spiral into destroying every part of himself over his love for a terrible little boyboss war criminal (hi king cyrus). this is the first time the two of them meet, when cyrus is still in his rakish misbehaving prince era. brainworms are found in the gay old men
The others are already drinking deep again, eager to accept another newcomer into their circle for the night, but your mouth has gone dry. It’s almost hard to look at him. It’s harder to look anywhere else.
He notices you staring. When he catches your eye, it makes your heart jump into your throat.
“What?” he asks. “Something in my teeth?”
You’re barely breathing. “Your Highness,” you manage, and you can’t read the look that crosses his face.
Hebes slaps his hand down on the table so hard it makes your glass rattle, and lets out an incredulous, booming laugh. “Stars above, Renan, is that Prince Cyrus?”
The boy next to you winks and flashes another incandescent grin. “Just call me Cy.”
august
and here we come to just a small selection of the insane au fanfiction wren and i engaged in. not ALL of it was about cyrenan, just most of it. here's some darcy and cassandane in the criminally extensive college au. darcy's pining, what else is new
It would happen, though, they told themself. It would happen eventually. Because she loved them, they were sure, even if neither of them had phrased it that way exactly. They’d as good as told each other more times than they could count. They had always worked that way, reading between the lines but knowing they were on the same page.
“You’re brilliant, you know,” they murmured, dropping their voice so low they were sure only she could hear it. Just one more way of telling her. They knew she’d understand.
“At dancing or in general?”
“Both.”
“I do know,” Cass replied. Her slow, curving smile made them flush too much to hide.
“I want to do this more often,” they whispered. They risked stroking their thumb lightly across her shoulder, a gesture they hoped was too small to catch. “I want to do this all the time.” Forever wasn’t a word they would pull out in public regardless of how softly they were speaking, but they were sure she got that too.
september
we're back to canonverse ndad, thank god. more backstories! this one chronicles austra's girlbossification, and this moment specifically is right after her daughter mona is born
She’s not going to make it. That’s the first thing the doctors tell you. It’s the first thing the Church proclaims on the matter too. You’re still confined to your hospital room. You can’t witness it pronounced in a chapel or read it in a star chart. You have to hear it from your husband’s mouth instead. His eyes are red. He’s been crying. You haven’t been. You’ll break down when there’s nothing left to fight for, not a moment sooner than that. Your daughter needs surgeries that haven’t been performed in a century. Your daughter has long brown eyelashes that flutter when you kiss her while she sleeps. Your husband tells you that her doom is written in the stars, and he says it like he thinks it’s true.
october
and i actually followed austra's backstory up with castor's, because apparently i spent some of this year being semi productive. castor's terrible little psyche revolves around the fact that his brother (everyone's favourite son) died when he was a teenager and he thinks it's his fault for not being a hardened soldier at 17. here he is trying to be a hardened soldier (it's not going well)
You’re not a natural. You’re not even a hard-won talent. Even when you’re not half sleepwalking, you’re slow, clumsy, unsure. Your sword arm grows sore after barely an hour. The straps of your armour chafe against the skin of your neck and leave it raw. You’ve tried your best, memorized a hundred manoeuvres in sparring sessions, but somehow you still freeze in the field. The first time an enemy makes a swipe for you, you run like a coward. By the fiftieth time, you’ve learned to stand your ground, but you don’t know if your allies feel the difference. At night, every comrade you couldn’t save has your brother’s face.
He had scars when he—when you saw him the last time. A barely-there line through his eyebrow, another tiny one on his chin. Your father has the gouged-out pit in his left cheek, the mark that proves he is and isn’t invulnerable. Every time a blade flashes in your face, you wonder if you’ll end up with a matching one. It never happens, probably because you’re too quick to flinch back from the strikes that might get close enough. Your skin remains despicably pristine.
november
wow, a new wip? well maybe. this one is still in very early stages, but i got seized by brainworms consisting of "what if richard and bolingbroke from shakespeare's richard ii were lesbians (and not cousins) and fucking hated each other." also it's the 80s, i think. rielle is our larger than life femme richard who's never met an emotion she couldn't turn into a performance, and the narrator here is jack, butch bolingbroke, who has a lot of daddy issues and hates rielle so fucking much.
Don’t get me wrong. My dad was an asshole. He was a dyed-in-the-wool red-blooded homo-hating bigot and I didn’t shed a tear at his funeral. But he was the kind of asshole where if I called my hair a pixie cut and ditched the Doc Martens for mascara when I came around for dinner, he’d happily keep paying my tuition. He’d even hug me, sometimes. Mostly after Mom died. Both arms around my shoulders, like he meant it.
So I had my reasons, basically, for not wanting to publicly tell him to go fuck himself. And even if I hadn’t, she was the last person I owed an explanation. Easy for her to say she’d cut off her parents in a heartbeat when she didn’t have any, just an inheritance ten times the size I was ever getting and a bunch of framed tabloids with pictures of a Rolls-Royce twisted around a lamp post and a cherub of a girl who knew, even at ten years old, how to cry pretty.
december
this past month i've been juggling grad school apps and finals and prepping for my thesis, so i haven't written a ton, but i went back to fun shakespeare fanfiction collabs with @inkgel for a bit! here's me attempting to write julius caesar pov `for our caesar/antony character study that we did after playing those characters on zoom (and playing them as in love, of course)
He could do the same with Antony. Antony wouldn’t make him ask twice for it—wouldn’t make him ask at all, probably, because he is always so delightfully quick to capitulate, all it would really take is a finger ghosted over those plush and slightly reddened lips. But Caesar doesn’t like him to be carved out of marble. He likes it when Antony stumbles, the laugh bubbling up from his throat loose and lazy, the perfect planes of his cheekbones marred with a ruddy flush. When Antony clings onto him, half for balance, half because he’s surely looking for any excuse to. When he hangs on several moments longer than he needs to, his pupils blown, his hair mussed not-quite-artfully, and kisses him with the heady scent of wine still on his breath.
Perhaps sometimes he would deign to think he loved it, but it’s been years since that word has been his to offer. These days, it’s only for lesser men to give.
if you got this far, thank you so much for reading! see you all in 2023!!
random oc questions 1-4 for jack, rielle, and ariadne :3
this got horrifyingly long i apologize in advance but i think about those orphans <3
1. Which classic halloween monster/supernatural entity would they be?
^ my first thought because as you know i have contemplated orphan heir vampire au. normal amounts. specifically rielle is a vampire from the start (maybe ill never die because am special turned up to 11) but jack starts off human. and then rielle turns her when [redacted]. so that jack can spend the rest of the story fighting the overwhelming bloodlust tooth and nail feeling as bad as (in)humanly possible <3
but aside from that: rielle is incredibly ghost-coded. beautiful tragic woman in white haunting jack forever and ever.
in an adjacent vein ariadne as a revenant could make me crazy. she has so much guilt about how there's no good reason she's still alive when the people she loves keep dying. unlike rielle she doesn't feel special. she doesn't think she deserves it. so i'm picturing a scenario where she actually did die and then came back and has no idea how or why.
i'm the least sure about jack here but...maybe a shapeshifter? in honor of her horrible little chameleon powers. she also has her whole deal with the devil thing going on so if "guy who sold their soul" counts as a supernatural entity then that's her.
2. What’s their favorite movie genre?
rielle is definitely an old hollywood movie enjoyer. for the sake of my sanity i'm not allowed to reference any real movies this book but there's a non-canon snippet in my notes app where she watches breakfast at tiffany's which is exactly the vibe. she'd also love john hughes movies. but what she watches most consistently is every movie her mom was in. because she's normal.
speaking of being normal, post-canon jack obsessively watches every movie rielle was in. otherwise she's not a huge movie person, but when rielle makes her pick a favorite bella blanchette movie she goes with a cold war drama that her dad liked which is probably emblematic of what she likes. serious historical/political films. i'm thinking like...apocalypse now. lincoln. tinker tailor soldier spy. that type of shit.
ariadne is much more of a gamer girl than a movie buff but based on her taste in video games (some people play the legend of zelda: majora's mask hundreds of times to cope) she might like fantasy. i could see her going hard for lord of the rings. unlike rielle she can look directly at worst things she's been through instead of processing her emotions only via beautiful fictional tragedies or eating other people's trauma, so i think her taste actually skews more feel-good. she's here for escapism more than catharsis.
3. Who would they trade places with, if given the chance?
at first i don't think rielle would trade places with anyone. she's literally special. but when her life starts falling apart she starts fully kinning her mom. not exactly trading places with her but playing out the same tragedy.
meanwhile when jack is in her king era she almost wants to trade places with rielle. or. she feels like she has but it doesn't feel the same. she usurped her but she isn't untouchable like rielle used to be just paranoid and sleep-deprived and tormented by guilt.
ariadne sooort of traded places with langley's kid. langley being the president of nepo baby college who disowned his actual child for addiction and transgenderism crimes but is now ariadne's weird parasocial father figure. and part of ariadne feels like if she had grown up with that many opportunities she wouldn't have squandered them. but she's still constantly walking on eggshells having to be Good Girl Grateful Daughter Mode. feels bad.
4. What kind of music do you associate with them? would they like that kind of music themselves?
i feel obligated to mention the fact that this godforsaken book is partially inspired by not one but two historical rpf musicals (hamilton and evita) so. that music is the #1 association i fear. rielle songs include "hurricane" and "rainbow high." jack songs include "the world was wide enough" and "oh what a circus." and "wait for it" is an ariadne song of all time.
i can definitely see rielle liking showtunes. i also associate her with very upbeat babygirlified pop which i think is what she's playing at her parties. she's not beating the top 40 listener allegations.
jack refuses to let me picture her listening to music but she might have her dad's taste there too. 60 year old white man music. johnny cash or something.
not totally confident in ariadne's music taste either but her mom was a jazz singer so i think she likes jazz. but maybe doesn't listen to it that often because sometimes those memories are too much. she might like to put on other instrumental music when she's working. video game soundtracks even.
23. Which minimum wage job would they be likely to have?
other than acting (and some modeling) rielle has never worked a day in her life so the straightforward answer here is none. she's worth tens of millions 😌 but that said she could kill it in hospitality. most beautiful perfect waitress in the world. every guest she serves is in love with her.
18. What period of history would they most like to live in?
ignoring the fact that everything in her life is exactly as destined, 100% the golden age of hollywood. babygirl was born to have a transatlantic accent.
💕 Where do they draw the line between friendship and romance, if at all?
well she has her three besties/sidekicks/accessories/girltoys who she makes out with on a regular basis, but i don't think that dynamic is romance-adjacent to her, just friendship with benefits. romance has to be main character 4 main character. theoretically friendship could be too but in canon the only people she really sees as full people are ariadne and jack (love of her life and narrative soulmate respectively) and her mom. basically i think the line is less what type of attraction is going on and more intense emotional connection.
📱Have they ever tried dating apps? How did it go?
she's definitely too famous to be able to use a dating app normal style and i don't think it would be her vibe regardless -- not the glamorous aura she's going for + she's notably thrives way more off in person attention + she doesn't fuck people who aren't relevant to her journey. but she might get a kick out of going on an app for an hour or two just to watch people react to her.
[35] Do they like their own appearance, and what do they do, if anything, to alter it in any way?
yes she's the most perfect gorgeous girl in the world <3 and she does alter her appearance a fair amount. she wears a full face of makeup pretty much always and definitely does her hair and her nails and waxes and is just generally flawlessly styled hyperfemme mode 24/7. but i don't think it's an insecurity thing. i don't think she dislikes her natural face at all but to babygirl the performance is reality. so her face with makeup isn't any less real. maybe it's more real, even. and of course she's going to style herself to look like the starlet of all time.
[36] Do they own items that have sentimental value?
well. she presumably got everything her mom owned when she died but most notable here is her trauma cave full of her mom's most iconic actress memorabilia. to offer an excerpt from the one time i wrote rielle pov:
Your mythos. YOUR MOTHER – her pictures, her posters, her most immortal costume pieces, her first contract, her last Oscar, the white gown she wore on her final red carpet hung behind floor-to-ceiling glass.
girls who can only engage with their own trauma via The Narrative. her mother is her mythos hope this helps.
2%. Your character has been brought to a party and promptly ditched. They don’t have a ride back home. How does this work? How comfortable are they around all of these strangers? Do they interact?
Highly unlikely that this would ever happen to Rielle because she's not being brought to the party, she is the party, and you come to her. But if it did I think she'd be fine assuming she's not in her plot-induced mental breakdown era and/or already very intoxicated. Babygirl is full-on famous and an actress with a charisma score of 20, so she just has to strike up various conversations until someone recognizes her and within an hour she'll have minimum ten people magnetized around her and multiple ride offers.
Jack does not have these powers but she can for sure socialize -- it's more a matter of whether or not she wants to. If it's 100% dancing and drinking and loud music and Rielle Blanchette and her three weedsmoking girlfriends doing gay4pay she's walking right out and calling a taxi with her nepo baby money. But if there are some fellow overachieving college students around she'll probably chat with them and then slip into the conversation that her ride ditched when she can tell people are close to leaving.
10%. Is it easy for your character to tell someone “no” when they don’t want to do something?
For Rielle...yes but she's not always actually telling the person. But she thinks she's the main character of the universe, so I don't think peer pressure works on her. She will happily act utterly uninterested and make whoever suggested said something look like the loser. The exception would be if she's getting asked about something she doesn't want to talk about because it hits one of her neuroses, but in that case it's not "I don't want to talk about this," it's a smooth and dazzling subject change.
For Jack...no. She can find her reasons to get out of shit she's uncomfortable with ("It'd be stupid for us to fundraise together when we'd obviously make more money separately," "No one calls me Jacqueline except my dad and Rielle when she's trying to get a rise out of me, you don't get full name privileges," etc) and if she thinks someone is being ridiculous she will flatly not engage, but if it's something she doesn't want to do and doesn't want to explain why she doesn't want to do it and can't wiggle out of it with a plausible excuse. Yeah she's probably just gritting her teeth and doing it.
19%. How does your character’s living space reflect their personality?
So this book is set in college and I'm like 90% decided the guys have on-campus housing for the claustrophobically insular vibes. However, these people are also rich and terrible. So I thiiink Rielle also has a house. In addition to her mom's house in LA. For her gay little parties I guess. I'm picturing some New England-ass Adam-Style deal that is absurdly big for one person and feels soooooo empty when she's the only one in it. This kind of shit:
I think it's like. Downstairs in permanent hosting mode. Somewhere between hotel ballroom and quintessential college party vibes. Don't ask me what's going on in the kitchen this woman refuses to let me imagine her cooking. And somewhere upstairs (what would be the master bedroom?) she has her insanegirl Jupe Park trauma shrine with all the Bella Blanchette memorabilia. You have to be invited in there though probably. Otherwise I think everything's just very picture perfect. Some kind of pretty in pink style platonic ideal of a popular girl bedroom (both in the house and in her room at St. George's because she does hang out there during the week mostly). Probably posters and souvenirs from her movies and theatre shows hanging around because those do not have to be confined to the trauma cave.
Jack just has the on-campus housing (+ her dad's house where she hangs out during breaks but that's several states away). Which is less dorm, more medium-nice studio apartment, because of course. I'm guessing she keeps things pretty neat and functional. Designated Work Spot with all her books (mostly for classes, some for pleasure. and by pleasure I mean political/historical nonfiction) and her laptop because she's not out here writing essays in her bed. Coffee machine for sure, I think she's a functional caffeine addict. Picture of her and her mom somewhere, maybe near her bed, not hidden in a trauma cave but also not on obvious display because she's normal and misses her mom like a normal human person without being an attention-seeking freak about it.
32%. If the character could remove one emotion from their life, which would they choose?
Rielle would remove fear I think. She's literally special and survived the fatal car crash of all time without a scratch, what should she be afraid of? If she is anyway. If the full on world-ending level panic spirals hit when she feels like she's losing control. No she isn't <3
Jack would mostly like to never ever feel anything about Rielle ever again. I don't know if that's an emotion. Psychosexual-attraction-hatred-guilt-grief-rage-homoerotic rivalry-love specifically as in "though I did wish him dead, / I hate the murderer, love him murdered" just dropped. Otherwise...I think I said guilt or shame when I answered this question ages ago but now she's Catholic so I feel like the guilt is integral and she's not getting rid of it. But maybe anger because she would like all of her actions to be 100% rationally calculated and not personal at all.
3 for darcy 5 for rielle and 12 for little cyrus :3
3. How does their social personality differ from how they act when they’re alone?
in public (or with literally anyone except cassandane and mayyyybe sometimes their dad) darcy is fully unreadable. polite, capable, slightly wry and witty but mostly a blank slate. when they're alone with cassandane they go full simp hopeless romantic (although still holding back a little so she thinks they're a sexy aloof theyboss or something). and in private. yeah. they are so in love they care so much and also they are very much having Gender Feelings. and that's the one time they might Express Some Visible Emotions as a treat.
5. Do they have a “tell” for when they’re lying?
not really. which is not to say that rielle always comes off as sincere, it's actually the opposite. she always comes off as at least somewhat performative, and there's no clean line between her actual thoughts and feelings vs the image of it all. which is frustrating for people trying to expose her for crimes. to say the least.
12. How do they show affection to someone they love?
cyrus is very much an acts of service kind of person. he just wants to do nice things for the people he loves -- not so much grand gestures, just small favours to make their lives easier. and he also likes certain kinds of physical affection and just being able to simply hang out with someone without talking much. at one point in ndad he spends hours undoing cassandane's braids for her and she's like "aren't you incredibly bored" but it's fucking ideal for him because doing something nice for his wife + physical touch + quality time without having to Talk About Important Things + a 10/10 stim
HI MACY <3 5 for little cyrus, 26 for rielle, 27 for val, and 30 for anyone you want >:3
HI VARAN ILY <3333
5. Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?
oh god prince cyrus would rather die. it stresses him out to be the center of attention and he sometimes goes nonverbal when he's extremely stressed so a speech would be his nightmare. but he probably has had to give a few in his life at various political functions, because he's The Prince. usually scripted, because he'd rather melt into the earth than have to improvise. his ideal speech would probably be pitching his education plan to a relatively small and quiet audience with everything he was going to say written out in advance. he could do that :)
26. Talent or effort?
oh you KNOW my babygirl rielle is 110% talent and raw nepo baby charisma. i mean, she is very conscious of how she's perceived, everything is a performance, but even that quality comes very naturally to her. it's why she's so annoying <3
27. Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)?
not forgiveness not vengeance but a secret third thing (writing a 100+ page vent letter that he's probably never going to send to his bestieworstie who ruined his life forever to cope). but i mean yeah. val can't forgive preston but i don't know if he could bring himself to get revenge on him either. he just never wants to see him again.
30. What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?
oh god well. my mind went to preston because the answer is [the entire plot of dearer than a friend] and it's bad.
