I'm Sick of Whiteness.
NOT ALL WHITE PEOPLE, *Whiteness*. Yet if you pissed off about the title alone then that includes you too & it's not my responsibility of figuring out why that is.
I'm sick of masking for the appeal & validation of a system full of white people who DESPISE and or TOLERANT mine's and other Black people's existence. Where our expression is a threat, where our silence and quietness is a threat, where our complicity is a death sentence to our identity and who & what we are, and white people making it EVERYONE'S MOTHERFUCKING PROBLEM!! "wE aLl EqUaL" MY ASS!
I'm sick of Black people trying to subscribe to Whiteness as if just being less of yourself is going to protect you despite the reality (Especially in the United States) that you are as much of a slur as I am and as the people you know is, in the lens of White supremacy, there's no protection in that. And what kind of protection is that?! ESPECIALLY when you have no one to turn to that looks like you, that expresses like you until you can leave or if you can leave?! I know cause I used to think this was protection as well! I thought if I just the same as the white people around me, I'll be safe, I'll be protected, I'll be content, and I'll be happy, BUT THAT ENDED UP NOT BEING TRUE FOR ME! All that happened is viewing other Black people as threats, seeing other Black women as inherently "mean" despite anything they did, hating my hair, hating my skin, wanting to be as white as possible, being tired, feeling drained, not having friends I trust, and not having a moral backbone in the slightest! I was barely honest with my feelings, I constantly felt unsafe in expressing myself & my feelings in the way that was genuine & authentic to ME and I dreaded living until recently where I'm feeling my feels unapologetically and authentically, and that's the scariest and BEST thing that's ever happened to me in my short life of mine.
It's not my place to tell others what they should or shouldn't do, especially to my Black community because god-fucking-dammit we just wanna fucking exist and live our god-damn lives dammit!! Me too!! I fucking hate seeing news and discussion about Nolan Wells and the number of Black teens and children that has been actively killed in this last fucking month! I fucking hate that shit since it continues exposing the fucking reality of what's already known of how none of these Whiteness bastards has changed SHIT! AND HAVE THE NERVE TO GASLIGHT BLACK PEOPLE THAT IT'S OUR FUCKING FAULT SOMEHOW?! HOW ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE STOP KILLING BLACK PEOPLE??? THE FUCK?!? If your bitch ass system NEEDS the death of Black people then the system you believe, pray in, and protect is a disgusting one & you are disgusting for continuing to support it even after the reality has been shown, discussed, understood, and ignored for YOUR comfort & ease of mind. Fuck you.
May Black people across the diaspora continue to enjoy this life amongst each other. Support each other ESPECIALLY during time where our care for one another is inherently seen as a threat. Cry, laugh, be fucking angry, because yeah bitch I'm a loud, angry Black person because I'm expressive and I have every, single, bit of a RIGHT to be angry. My anger don't stop just because you refuse to give a fuck, I don't care about your carelessness and I don't fucking want to keep caring when you don't give a fuck. Continue to dance, hug, tell each other you appreciate the other, wash your hair when you're ready, nap, relax, go on that trip if you wish, say hi to family, say hi to friends, say hi to yourself, draw, write, call shit out when it's safe to do so, find each other, learn languages, learn communication styles, vibe out, do the things that bring you consensual enjoyment ^^
May we live the best lives that's presented to us currently & later. I love y'all <333 In case no one has told you such today at this time ^^🫶🏿🫶🏿