#rightpastnowhere

[essayofthoughts]

how about vex and one of the kids, cure wounds?

Oh oh! This lets me indulge that headcanon of mine that emotionally gutted you! You know - this one.

It isn't often that Gwennie gets injured, surprisingly enough. She's as enamoured with inventing and explosions as Percy is, but she's also much more fireproof and does actually have a modicum of sense - she knows not to pick up anything sharp and look both ways before crossing the street (or, better yet, to cross the street safely on Trinket's back) and besides which, Percy's very good at bandaging the children up from their inevitable cuts and scrapes well before she returns from a patrol.

So it's rare to see Gwen, a little teary eyed and one hand held gingerly, at the door to the library. Even before spotting the tears she knows something's wrong: Trinket's head swings up from where he'd been sprawled in a sleepy pile on the floor, and she knows how protective of his little siblings Trinket is.

"Mummy?" Gwen's voice is quiet and has that little hitching breath that means even though she's not crying now she had been recently. "I hurt myself."

She steps in when Vex gestures, holding out her hand and oh. Oh, that's nasty. It had taken them a bit of time to see how bruises and burns and cuts look on Gwen's scarlet skin, but this is a nasty graze, thickly clotting dark blood across the heel of her palm like someone's tried to crust her skin with living rubies.

Gwen's blood, though, is far more precious to Vex than any ruby she might encounter.

"Oh darling," she says, taking her daughter's hand in hers. Gwen runs warm - just as warm as Percy to the exact same degree - and the first thing Vex does is press a kiss to Gwen's palm. Kiss it better may not really work, but it soothes the children and with Gwen especially she and Percy have gone out of their way to show her that she's loved. "Let me fix that."

Cure Wounds is an old and familiar spell and it's easy to cast, the words a soft murmur against her daughter's skin before the magic takes effect.

"Oh," says Gwen, as the green-gold washes over her hand, catching around the edge of the graze like water at the shore, sparkling instead of frothing and when it finally fades away the start of the scab does too, leaving behind clean, unmarred skin. "Oh!"

"There we go," Vex says and presses a kiss to Gwen's forehead. "All better."

Gwen's silent, examining her hand closely before comparing it to the scar on her arm - the only mark left on her after a playfight with Danny went wrong and a glass had been smashed. Percy had patched the children up, and everything healed fine, but- well. First scars tend to be remembered.

"Mummy," Gwen says slowly. "Daddy has a lot of these." She points to her scar. "But you can heal things so they don't do that."

"Yes," she says, unsure where Gwen's going with this.

"Can you heal them too? These-" She points at the scar again.

"Scars," she says. "They're called scars."

"Scars," Gwen says. "Can you heal them?"

If only. There's a lot Vex would give to have been able to heal Percy of even half of what Ripley had inflicted on him. She'll settle for the bitch being goddamn dead.

"Scars are what happen when you don't heal bad injuries with magic," she says. "They're how the body heals on it's own." She pulls back her sleeve, shows one of the small bitemarks she has from when she'd been raising Trinket. "See?"

"Oh," Gwen says, still frowning, still clearly thinking. "Daddy was hurt a lot then."

Oh. Oh it's this conversation. Vex has managed to avoid this conversation with all of the children so far - they've all taken it to Percy. She'd thought Gwen would too - the two are thick as thieves and it's quite adorable really - but. Well.

"Yes," she says. "By the same people who hurt your Auntie Cass."

"Oh."

Gwen is still thinking. She doesn't seem upset - and Vex credits herself as being very good at reading her children - but she's not entirely sure what Gwen's thinking at all.

"Uncle Tary says people come up with new spells all the time."

... Okay this is a jump.

"Your Uncle Tary likes to make up stories," she says with a smile. "But yes, some people do develop new spells."

"And Daddy invents new techno- technyli- Tek-no-log-gy." Oh Gwen stumbling over long words shouldn't be so cute but it always is. "And Vesper says that people find new things out all the time too."

"Yes."

Gwen nods, simple and determined, clearly to herself, so much her father's daughter. Vex waits for her daughter to look back up at her and lets her have space to speak.

"I'm going to find out how to heal scars," Gwen says. "But you can't tell him. He'll make The Face."

Oh boy will he. Vex is having a hard time not making it herself now, and covers for that by reaching down to hug her daughter.

"I'm sure you will," she says into Gwennie's pigtails. "Shall I help you find some books on it?"

[pocketgalaxies]

apologies for the notif spam lol, but i was looking for a thing - do you know when percy sings in celestial to some kids?? somewhere??? i've seen it mentioned a lot but idk what episode it's in

i don't recall this ever happening in c1 but i also haven't watched the post-campaign one-shots and i never read any of tal'dorei reborn, so maybe it's in one of those somewhere? does anyone else know?

[essayofthoughts]

for the DVD commentary ask game, because this made me want to manifest in your house and shake you by the collar, from the soulmate AU:

———

There are days, sometimes, when she almost forgets it exists. There are other days when its strange empty blankness consumes her and she clings to it as tightly as she can, as though clinging to it, tugging on it, pulling it, will pull her soulmate’s attention away from whatever blankness they’re in and back to full life.

If she had not, she later thinks, if she had not clung to them, some days, and tried to pull them back from whatever brink they neared, she does not think she’d have felt them die.

Instead: she does. She feels something from the bond, even faded and weakened as it is, something awful and dark and choking, something like echo-memories of the echoes of pain she once got from them, something like grief and loss and anger and anguish and through it all pain, pain, pain. She clings to the bond now, not because she is trying to pull them back from it but because she has to. The pain consumes the bond but she welcomes it if only because it is something and because she has borne worse, that week-and-change two years ago.

She clings to the bond and it chokes her, like thick smoke, like ash, like tar. She clings to the bond and clings to her soulmate and tries to find the words and the right emotions to send but all she can find is something pleading, begging, praying, holding tight and wishing she had Trinket’s strength instead of her own.

She feels it start to fade, start to weaken, and maybe it is her imagination, refusing to fully face this all but she swears she feels that dreamlike presence reaching out, uncertain and unsure, some soft questioning tendril in amidst the pain and horror.

She knows, now. She cannot turn from the truth of it. Death has come for them and there is nothing she can do however much she might wish it.

The tendril reaches, unsure and uncertain and fading.

She reaches back. I’m here, she tries to send it. I’m right here, darling, I’ve got you. It’s all right.

It’s all right.

———

especially the ending. i was so choked up and teary eyed and i love vex so much. i’m going to throw you. <3

So uh. In good part I was aiming to express the kind of numbness that depression and dissociation can cause? Because that's all that Vex is getting from her soulmate here, and she can feel that the bond is there, it's just... hollowed out and empty, because her soulmate is.

But precisely because she's paying such attention to it - she notices when something is wrong. It's likely she'd have felt something of the bond's end regardless, even just as an influence in her own dreams, but because she's paying attention to it she can pick out more nuances of it - the smoke, the pain, the anguish - ... and kind of because of that she draws incorrect conclusions? Like she'd believe them dead regardless, because the bond is gone and she has no reason to believe her soulmate has their shit together enough to obtain a means to break or block a bond, but because of how it goes here, she specifically think they were so just... out of it, that they were sleeping and their lodgings caught fire and they choked to death on the smoke (possibly not unlike Elaina's own demise) and so.

Well. What else can she do but try to offer comfort? If they're going to die, at least they can know they were cared for. And if they're dying and they're hers, then 1. Of course she's going to do what she can for them and 2. It's not a risk to care so much or so openly because they're dying and can't ever use it against her. The only one that can use her kindness here against her is herself, and obviously she'll be upset and grieving, but it's a choice she can make for herself.

And so she clings. And so she hopes. And so she says goodbye. And so she thinks her soulmate is dead, because she felt the bond die, full of pain and choking smoke, and what else can she conclude but that yet another person in her life has burned to death?

Send me ~500 words from a fanfic I’ve written and I’ll give DVD Commentary-esque explanation of why I wrote it like that

[essayofthoughts]

i am predictable: beauty and the beast au? pretty please? <3

I think I've prolly shown you this before, but regardless - enjoy!

--

He finds Vex’ahlia on the high tree-tower that looks out to the east, moss grown thick on the bark. Their huge form almost blends in with the timber of the place, but Percy’s grown pretty accustomed to spotting them and when he can’t the kitten can reliably sniff them out. As he watches, waiting in the doorway, the kitten stalks over before giving up on stealth and clawing at Vex’ahlia’s barked left leg.

“Oh,” they say, reaching down for the kitten with a long, twig-fingered hand. “Hello there, darling. Don’t usually see you out on your own.”

It’s with a small pinch and dart of their fingers they conjure a small knitted woollen coat, tucking it around the kitten deftly.

“Not on their own,” he admits, deciding to let himself be known and stepping out onto the balcony. “You weren’t at dinner; I wondered where you were.”

He doesn’t think he’s imagining how Vex’ahlia stiffens, going still as only a tree can before stirring themself to movement and setting the kitten on their shoulder, looking back out over the thick forest that surrounds the Echo Tree.

“No,” they say. “I’m sorry. I didn’t feel up to it.”

Percy shrugs as he makes his way over. The kitten meows down to him and he smiles, reaching a hand up to carefully scratch its ears. Vex’ahlia goes still once more but doesn’t move away, doesn’t otherwise respond.

“It’s all right,” he says, drawing his hand back down. “I just worried. I don’t think you’ve missed a single dinner since I got here without warning me first.”

“No,” they agree. For a while silence stretches. The trees in the distance look no different from any other, dark treetops in the growing dusk, swaying in some distant wind. “It’s an anniversary,” they say. “Of a kind.”

Of this? Percy almost wants to ask, but he holds back the urge. He thinks he can guess well enough; none of his family can sleep well on the day the Briarwoods had come.

“Do you want company?” he asks instead. “Mine or just the kitten’s?”

“You don’t-”

“I’m offering,” he says gently. “You don’t have to accept. If you want space, I understand.”

Vex’ahlia says nothing. It’s not an oppressive silence - the wind and rustle of distant leaves prevents that, as does the ever increasing familiarity they seem to share - but it’s a pregnant one, as though if he waits his patience will be rewarded. So he does.

“I had a brother,” Vex’ahlia says eventually. They gesture at the trees stretching out into the distance. “He’s probably still out there, knowing him. Trying to find a way in.”

“Do you want him to?” 

“Not while I’m like this,” Vex’ahlia admits. Followed by, “But I miss him.”

Percy’s not sure if this is a mistake or not but when next he reaches out, it’s not to pet the kitten. Instead he sets his hand gently on Vex’ahlia’s shoulder, a silent offering of comfort. For once, he suspects words would not suffice, that physical affection is better.

After a long stretch, one of Vex’ahlia’s twig-fingered hands comes to rest on his. Percy doesn’t count how long they stand there, staring out over the forest. It’s enough, he thinks, to know he’s doing something.

--

[essayofthoughts]

wolf siblings AU!! what do the sibs generally think of the other members of VM? who's their fave?

For the most part they like them! Vesper and Whitney don't particularly care for Scanlan's jokes (and seeing more obviously the effect those kinds of jokes have on his sisters when they can't do anything about it prompts Julius to rethink some of his scoundrel history) but everyone likes his music.

Whitney has a soft spot for both Vax and Keyleth, especially Keyleth because if she follows Keyleth around while she's foraging or gardening Keyleth will talk to her about what she's doing and for Whitney that almost feels like being a human again.

Cass and Oliver love Grog - he's so big and strong and they get to play fight with him to their heart's content when Julius gets tired of them. They also love Vax because of the shared chaotic little shit instinct.

Ludwig likes Keyleth, Pike and Vex. He liked Tiberius well enough for a while, enjoyed sitting with him while he enchanted things, but got snappy with him when he started getting more self-centered especially once the Briarwoods had visited. He likes being able to sit quietly with people though - while Keyleth gardens, while Pike tends her chapel, while Vex does the accounts. It's not always safe to be in Percy's lab, so having other options is nice. Plus Vex knows how to groom them, so they've all got a soft spot for her.

Vesper's favourite is Percy. Honestly, Vesper being a wolf is the first time Percy twigs that he is Vesper's favourite of her siblings - she sticks by his side more often than any of them - and yes, she was his favourite too, but he didn't think that was returned. Why would it be, he's him? But it's Vesper who keeps him company when none of the others want to move, it's Vesper who's sat at his side when they find out the Briarwoods have visited and are going to visit again, and it's Vesper's who's fur he buries his hands in when he has to recount what happened. Vesper loves her first little brother dearly, and she knows Julius will take care of the rest - someone has to take care of him.

Julius's favourites are Scanlan and Vax, though seeing - and smelling! - the effect of Scanlan and his jokes can have on people, the discomfort and all - makes him rethink a few things about his own prior behaviour. Vax he respects, because they're not too far off in age and both pride themselves on taking care of their siblings.

All of them have a soft spot for Vex, as the first one they met, and not a one of them minds her baby talking to them. They generally see it as kind of insulting, especially given Percy never babytalks to them and given most people assume they're ranger companions for him, you'd think they'd take cues from him - but with Vex... she babytalks to Trinket. They all know how much she loves Trinket. From her and her alone, it is the highest of praise.

Also she knows how to groom them well, and of all of them it's her and Keyleth who notice what of their traits aren't accurate to wild wolves, even ones which are companion animals. Of all of them, those two (especially given as the most perceptive they've seen the names on Percy's List) have the best chance of figuring out they once were people and thereby bypassing the curse keeping Percy from telling anyone.

Send me asks about my fic ideas!

[essayofthoughts]

and because i cannot be quelled: wolf siblings au?

You do have your faves, don't you?

--

Percy never goes anywhere without at least one of the wolves. Even once they have Greyskull, even once they're hailed as heroes in Emon, he never goes anywhere without at least one of them for company.

Which is why, when they go to the palace to report on the events of the Underdark and K'varn, he goes with Vesper at his side. The rest are content to stay at Greyskull, sunning themselves in the grounds and, when the wind turns cold, the warm and sunlit temple to Sarenrae, but Vesper stays at his side through the streets of Emon and settles by the side of his chair in the council chamber.

So it is that, when the names of Lord and Lady Briarwood are mentioned it is not just Percy who is stunned. At his side Vesper bristles, hackles up, on her feet and leaning, trembling, against his leg.

It grounds him, that pressure, and he buries his hands in her fur, gets a grip on the scruff of her neck just in case.

"Shh," he murmurs, quiet enough only Pike beside him hears. When Pike glances down at Vesper, then frowns up at him, he shakes his head. "Don't worry," he tells her before working to soothe his sister. "Shh," he murmurs again. "Settle. Settle. It's alright. I'll have a word after."

Vesper's head turns, eyes dark and piercing as she watches up at him and when she nips his hand she's none too gentle about it.

"I know it matters," he says as quietly as he can. "It matters to me too. But we can't do anything about it if you get us kicked out. Hush now. Settle."

With a huff Vesper does, not slumped at his feet as when they're safe and relaxed but sat beside him at attention, head up, ears pricked, eyes forward as she stares, unblinking, at the Sovereign.

It is a long meeting.

--

[essayofthoughts]

i’ll send a couple titles !!! feel free to answer one or all or what have you

1. low tide

2. porcelain

3. break the air to feel the fall

(the last one is from “sex, drugs, etc.” by beach weather which has been on a loop in my head)

send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i would write to go with it!

Nova, darling, what have you learned from every past time when you send in several options like this? I always choose all.

1 - Missing scene during Percy's hazy, dissociated time on the fishing boat. The tide's gone out, the water's low, and he's just sat on the edge of the boat, steadily gutting the catch, staring out at the mud flats as wisps and drifts of thoughts flitter through his mind. The coppery smell of blood, the awful sound of a knife in meat, the feeling of blood and guts around one's fingers, all dissociated from and connecting to his trauma memories of the trauma and massacre and murder. The calls of the gulls sounding too much like the laughter of the guards, him barely registering the other fishermen as he just keeps going with the fish because it's a job needs doing and he doesn't have the brain space to do anything more than the assigned task. Mind drifting between past and present, occasional moments of good memories - remembering eating salt-baked snappers at a family dinner; bird calls making him think of some ridiculous game with his siblings; a nick of pain when the knife slips but only a nick and not agony and so his mind brings up learning to fence with Julius.

Percy, drifting through memories as he stares out at the mud flats revealed by low tide on the fishing boat.

2 - A wealthy family has good china. Historically, even poor families will try to keep some good china for special occasions - for Sunday lunch, or feast days, or celebrations - but the wealthy families had fancy, fine china, sometimes with gilding or beautiful patterns. There might even be solid silver place settings and cutlery too, but the china is Important.

How much of the family china was smashed during the usurpation? During the massacre? After the feast, as the Briarwoods' men ran roughshod through their master's newly claimed castle, chasing down every last person to drag to the cells?

(How much was tainted in memory, for having been used at that dinner? For being used by the Briarwoods when they forced Cassandra to join them and play perfect pretty family? For being used by the Briarwoods at all, for surviving when their family didn't?)

Cassandra watching the china being laid out for some dinner in Whitestone - not just for Vox Machina but for some kind of political delegation, visitors in the castle so much like before, all these mixed memories in her mind as she decides whether to keep the old or look into getting something new.

She loves her family, even dead and gone, and she wants to honour them - but can she do so with such a raw pain, shattered porcelain shoved through skin, piercing her every moment she sees it again?

3 - Vex! Vex. Flying and falling over the ziggurat. The tomb. Every single moment on her broom. How flying means freedom, means a vantage point, means being above people in a way they simply cannot take away or ignore - to get above her means flying above her, means acknowledging she is there, that she's there and real and matters.

Because she does.

So much was beyond her - held above her, out of reach, always striven for but rarely attained (her father's love or approval, her classmates' good opinion, the simple means to live comfortably) but now she has it. Now she flies. Now she's free.

[essayofthoughts]

I was tagged by @rightpastnowhere over Here (and for once I’m getting on it in a reasonable time; other people who’ve tagged me in things... I’ll get there. I promise.)

rules: post the names of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! tag as many people as you have WIPs! 

Because of the sheer bullshit number of WIPs I have, I’m gonna be limiting this to my Critical Role C1 fics. My pinned WIPs list is not even the half of it.

I am also not tagging anyone, firstly because Too Many WIPs and secondly because No. I am where tag games go to die.

ANYWAY. On to the ridiculous number of WIPs.

CR VM Rock Band AU for Nell

Desmond-Cass Fic

Emon is Burning

Niamh - Perc’ahlia Kidfic

Percy-Ripley Hatesex Oh God

PercyVex Stargazing

Piercings Percy for Hannah - Modern AU

SYLDOR ISNT A SHITTY DAD AU

Vampercy Canon AU

CR Daemon AU

Elaina Survives

Eros & Psyche AU

Eventual PROGIA smuts thoughts

Masc!Vex AU

Modern Fake Dating AU I Guess

Perc’ahlia Noir AU

Zahra & Kash Things

Alternate Soulmate AU of Moar Angst

Corrupted Tiefling Percy AU

CR Hogwarts AU

CR Uni AU

Perc’ahlia Sonnie’s Edge AU

Perc’ahlia Witcher AU

Sylas Briarwood gets to live bitches. Like live live. as in not undead, live.

Murder on the Exandrian Express

Happy AU - No Briarwoods Yet AU

Magnus Archives AU

Percy/Vex Twilight AU

Six Swan Brothers but it’s Wolf Siblings AU

Fem!Percy AU

Perc’ahlia Beauty and the Beast AU

01. Teacher Ripley - Percy-Ripley Adopt Kids Spinoff AU

02. PercyRipley Cabin Out In The Woods Spinoff Idea

03. What If More Kids AU of Delia AU

Fic: PercyRipley Alt Briarwoods Escape - Dream Based

Charlie The Bear

Kash backstory writeup

Parent Elections - Gwen & Trinket

Percy dies...

The Little Things - Percy Mourning His Siblings

Vesper Notices...

Werewolf’s Soulmate AU Pt3

Zahra POV

00. Ghost Cass - Kraghammer Arc

01. Ghost Cass - Briarwood Arc to End

PercyVex Soulmate AU

AU of an AU, for Hannah

[REDACTED] (I aint sharing the WIP title of this one because it’s a massive fucking spoiler)

01. FIC DOC - Delia AU - Ripley’s Daughter

02. Arcs 2&3 - Delia AU - Ripley’s Daughter

*stares at the number*

Jesus fuck, when did that happen.

ANYWAY. If you want to ask about any of my WIPs, feel free! I am always happy to ramble about any of them and good odds it’ll make me write more.