#rinn rambles

[holywaterandwhiskey]

can yall help a girl out? my fiancé is really into fnaf and I wanna get into it so we can talk about it together. where should I start?

[varyathevillain]

my new icon courtesy of @sketch-slam

toe to tip this is a Harry Flynn

[holywaterandwhiskey]

my bestie is coming home for her mission trip and she's having a welcome home party on sunday, meaning I am going to be seeing my old friends from high school who are home from college on break.

and by old high school friends I namely mean an ex best friend, an ex boyfriend and ex-boyfriend's twin brother who knew ex-bf was cheating on me but said nothing.

all of these people have been on mission trips and are now at college... except for me who chose to stay at home and cosplay....

so my weekend is gonna be great

[holywaterandwhiskey]

Your girl is getting married Tumblr!!!

[holywaterandwhiskey]

ok I have a question for y'all. I kinda wanna be an elementary school teacher and I know someone who currently is. would it be ok for me to message them and ask them questions about their job (like what they majored in etc) to see if I'd like it. also is that like an interview and how do I ask

[holywaterandwhiskey]

something i learned about myself and i wanted to share-

for years growing up i had a hard time thinking of myself as someone soft and gentle and loving. if you had asked me to describe myself i would have said snarky, sarcastic, has a temper, ect. so when my boyfriend started saying he loves how gentle and soft i am it confused me, because thats not how i see myself.

and that was when i realized i allowed myself to be gentle and soft around him, because i trust him to not hurt me, emotionally or physically. I grew up in an abusive home and became hard to survive that. and now im learning i don't have to be that hurt little girl anymore.

[holywaterandwhiskey]

LIFE UPDATE

ok so about a week ago i reconnected with my hs bf (21M). we've been on a couple dates and realized we still have feelings for each other so we became official and we're talking about getting married in june.

the problem? my parents know, but his doesn't. His parents didn't like me in hs, and from the "assignment" his parents gave him last night tells me nothing has changed. (which was to tell me that im a nice girl and all, but not to expect anything serious and that he'll be seeing other girls when he goes back to college.)

im supposed to go over to his house tonight and we're going to tell them we're dating. and i don't see it going over well. and im freaking dang terrified.

[holywaterandwhiskey]

ok this is probably tmi but I need someplace to talk this out.

So my ex and I went out on a date. and it turns out we both still have feelings for each other (nil serious love is an open door vibes)

and then after I was thinking about it... I have SEVERE anxiety. and yes I care about him and im comfortable around him... but I was so anxious that I threw up before the date. how the heck would I even move in with him or get married.