many have said that in today's modern web 2.0 era internet hickey would be scammin as an influencer (correct) and i wanna say also that before that he had a web 1.0 blog with a title like "outside the widening gyre: musings of a nietzschean rentboy" or some shit equivalent that garnered a surprisingly large following before he had to nuke his entire web presence because along with blogging his bizarre and terrible takes on life and politics etc he'd been using the blog as a public crime diary (in his own words "doing a bit of a jean genet thing") and that caught up with him after he got in a beef about the true meaning of the prisoner's dilemma with a rationalist blogger who realized they could just call the cops on this guy
my first exposure to porn was because I loved the ralts line as a kid and I wanted to see if there were any cool pictures of them on google images and. there was
Summary: part 14645648 of my Dad!Gojo headcanon miniseries
Characters: Dad!Gojo and his lovely offspring (adopted or not)
Word count: -
Content warning: mentions of a character (by name only) who hasn’t appeared in the anime
A/N: had some difficulty writing this because I didn’t know how to properly split it into non-jujutsu and jujutsu at first but here you go
Remember when I said he’s the cool dad for the schoolkid!reader hc? Yeah no, over the years you found his personality to be quite embarrassing because he aims to embarrass shit out of you for fun
still calls you by your childhood nicknames, he thinks they’re cute and funny but Gojo, please.
Don’t talk to him about it though, the man will come up with worse nicknames
may be the embarrassing dad but he really really really treasures you to the point he kept all the drawings you gave him when you were little (Gojo with a mustache, Gojo fighting a curse, various drawings of you two + Megumi)
fingerguns you regularly because it’s ~edgy~
you regularly facepalm
You relate more to Nanami now and have grown exponentially closer to him, which makes Gojo sulk once he finds out
“You like Nanami-chan more than Dada now? :’(((”
“Dad, the last time I called you Dada was when I was 6 or something-”
Nanami will never hear the end of this. Somebody help this man and salvate him from the everlasting migraine that is Gojo Satoru.
Gojo may be embarrassing but by no means does that define his parenting skills - those have improved by so much over the years, although he will always stay the dork he is
Some things never change: he still asks how your day went and listens to you rambling
It really is one of his comfort activities because it grants him a little bit of tranquility
for non jujutsu sorcerer readers:
when you graduate from high school, he’ll turn up to the graduation party in more formal wear and shit, some people think he’s actually one of the graduating students and he plays along
is so proud of you though; will definitely reward you with a fancy ass dinner or something
is over the moon when you start college
You may not be a jujutsu sorcerer but Gojo still insisted teaching you some techniques for self-defense
He foresaw that curse users and curses alike would come after you - so the training came in handy at times
I said you were a prodigy in your earlier years but haha, we all know too well that flies out of the window as you grow up, so being a college student = despair
Gojo tries being a good dad and support you as best as he can
but mans never went to college and never had to study much since his brain is a galaxy brain, so he doesn’t understand much of the struggle
You become Y/N “college is shit” Gojo - Nanami is proud of you for saying that
for readers that chose to attend Jujutsu Tech & become jujutsu sorcerers after graduation:
tough love, man
Your teacher in Jujutsu Tech is actually Kusakabe but since you are Gojo’s kid (he calls you his “responsibility” when he justifies this), you basically have two teachers: one at school (Kusakabe) and one who nags at you at home (Gojo)
Meaning: besides the stuff you learn at school, including general education, you’re put through tough Jujutsu training by Gojo at home
He says he wants you to be the best as he is but secretly, he panics at the very thought of anybody coming after you just because you carry the last name “Gojo”
Gojo whisks you away whenever, wherever (he does whatever he wants to); takes you on some tough missions with him
Training sessions with Gojo? Episode 23 of Jujutsu Kaisen season 1, at 8:11
That’s you almost daily tbh, he does NOT go easy on you, EVER... but he does hold back or else you’d just end up at Shoko’s just like Megumi when Gojo flicked his head
GTG (Great Teacher Gojo) strikes again: his almost relentless training is rewarded
You have been promoted to Grade 1 by the time you reach the second year. Congratulations, break a neck or something?
