Wade eyed the person before him, "Hey! What's up? I'm Deadpool and I like puppies and kitties and food, especially food like chimichangas and tacos and....." he went on and on as he ranted
You: Three months have passed since the Avengers stared to live in Stark tower. There were little bits of conflicts and arguments amongst them, but nothing major happened until now.
“Seriously, guys. Where is it?”
It started with the absence of Steve’s vibranium shield.
Stranger: "No idea. Ask Clint! He took one of my wrenches and his it for all of last week." Tony said as he held up his hands in surrender. He just hoped Steve wouldn't go to Tasha with this.
"It's true, he did," Bruce said from his side.
Stranger: *hid
You: "So the man has become a crow or something? That is quite amusing."
Just as the three men were accusing on the archer, the man of the topic came to the laboratory they were in.
"Okay guys, this is not funny. Where are my bows and quivers?!"
Clint looked quite panicked without his babies.
Stranger: Tony furrowed his brow. "Wait, what??"
You: "Check your suit, Tony. The bastard took my knives as well."
Natasha came in with her stoic face, but her voice was on edge as well.
Stranger: "What the Hell??" He walked over to his suit. "Nothing missing he-- GODDAMMIT MY WRENCH IS GONE AGAIN!"
You: "Okay, we shouldn't panic. Let's think this through."
Steve calmed the crowd with his calm leadership.
"So far, all of our stuffs are gone except Thor and Bruce. Have you checked your stuffs?"
The question was directed at dumb-founded Bruce.
Stranger: "They might have taken part of your chem set. Goddammit I want my wrench back!" Tony walked over to his bench to check his tool bag. "Fuck this. My whole tool bag is gone. I'm gonna go crazy. Bruce, go check your shit."
You: "No, not my chemistry set- oh they are there. Wait, wait a minute WHERE ARE MY PAIRS OF PANTS? All of them are gone?!"
Bruce checked his desk and went to his wardrobe located at back of the lab. The man practically lived in lab and this was his and Tony's room.
Stranger: "Stay calm Bruce, we don't want the rest of our babies being destroyed. You guys go look around and I'll check and see if anything else is gone from down here. Talk to Thor too, please." Tony walked around the room, looking at everything, inspecting them for missing pieces.
You: Clint sprinted around the whole building to find demi-god. It didn't take much time till they heard the booming voice in anguish.
"WHO DARES TO STEAL MY POP TARTS RATIONS?"
Stranger: "Someone's taking all of our stuff!" Natasha yelled back at him.
You: "Whoa guys, calm down. We don't want unnecessary panic."
Steve tried to calm the thunder god's mighty roar, but the big guy didn't seem to know that he wasn't the only one with the loss.
Stranger: "Thor! Calm dow-- oh for Christ's sake." Natasha said, grabbing the other man and quickly bringing him to the floor and quieting him. "Shut up, we know your pop tarts are gone but so is our stuff.
You: "I am going to pull the culprit's eye balls out."
Clint perched on the couch and gently rocked back and fro.
Stranger: "I hope it isn't Fury trying to piss us off or something."
You: "Okay. Who else is in this building other than us? Oh Tony, have you seen Peter?"
Steve remembered that their 10 years old son lived in the building as well, mainly sleeping in Steve's room with Tony.
(Superfamily - if you dont like it, i can give you another response.)
Stranger: ((no, I love it.)) "I put him down for a nap an hour ago." Tony told them.
"We should check on him." Bruce suggested
You: They all rushed down to cap's room, but no one dared to make big noise in case they wake the boy up. The curtain was shut and room was dark, but...
"He is not there."
Clint whispered as if Peter was still in there.
Stranger: Tony picked up a small vase off of a table and threw it off the wall, turning around once it shattered and walking off. "We need to find him!"
You: Steve could not believe what was going on. The robber stole their stuff and now their son. This was truly an emergency.
"PETER!"
The man of composure finally lost it.
Stranger: They all split up around the house --with the exception of Tony and Steve-- and searched, checking the house first before calling anyone.
You: Peter didn't know the whole team flipped out looking for him. He was just casually chilling out on the roof with stuffs to play with.
Stranger: After an hour of searching, Tasha finally took Clint and checked the roof. Highly unlikely place for him to be, but gotta be sure. As soon as they opened the door the first thing they saw was Peter playing with all of their 'stolen' items and eating Thor's pop tarts....well not exactly eating, but gnawing on them. Tasha ran over and scooped up Peter while Clint picked up everything else.
You: (you got it ;D)
"Aw, why do you have to ruin my fun, uncle and aunty?"
Stranger: "Peter, how did you even get up here?? We were so worried about you!" She rushed down the stairs, leaving the door opened for Clint to carry everything else down.
You: "I can do spidey thing. Didn't daddy and pops tell you?"
Peter smiled at Natasha while he wriggled his fingers
Stranger: "No, they didn't. Can you show me when we get off the steps?" Tasha smiled. Spidey...thing? What??
You: "Natasha, that boy is good at stealing shits. Ask him why he did these things."
Clint grunted as he carried a big shield, his bow and quills, wrenches, 12 pairs of pants and a full cardboard box of pop tarts. Oh, Natasha got her knives.
Stranger: "So honey, why did you take all of our stuff? /How/ did you do it?" She asked as they headed for Tony and Steve, who were still by Steve's room.
You: "Well... Well I got powers, and i can be a hero now like you guys. But I needed to train myself so I took your stuffs to find out what I can do. I couldn't take Uncle Thor's hammer and figured he got strong with pop tarts..."
Peter mumbled as if he was being asked by a police woman.
Stranger: "Oh honey, you don't need to take our stuff. Once you're older I'll train you myself. How's that, big man?" She said, smiling. She looked down the hallway to see Steve with his arms around Tony, who was downright crying. "Hey! We found him!" She called out.
You: "Peter oh god why are you doing this to us?"
Tony sobbed through his shaky voice while Steve silently hugged the boy.
"I'm sorry, daddy. Please don't cry."
Stranger: "He took our stuff so he could try and train so he could be a hero. Tony, Steve. Anything you wanna tell us?"
You: "Oh. Well guys, our Peter can climb walls and..."
Steve explained about their son's latent awakening with his powers that somehow resembled of a spider. Apparently it was after the boy's science school trip to Orscope.
Stranger: "Peter, can you show me what you can do now?" Tasha asked, smirking as she said it.
You: "Okay."
With a bright smile, the little boy jumped on the ceiling and walked on it as if the centre of gravity was inverted. He shot few strings of webs on Clint's arrows and pulled them up.
"Hey HEY I think you should stop playing with your uncle's babies."
Stranger: Peter jumped back down and Steve caught him, hugging him tightly.
You: "I SAY THE YOUNG WARRIOR IS GOING TO GROW UP FINE. CONSUME MY POP TARTS, OH SPIDER CHILD"
Stranger: Clint laughed loudly at that alongside Bruce.
You: And all ended happily ever after
except poor Loki spying on them and feeling bitter for not being able to have a family like this.
