◆ SBS THE SHOW ━━━━ • • • ﹅ 럭스 ∙ EVERY NIGHT 1ST WIN ! ❪ ﹡* ❫
it’s been a week since every night promotions had began. it wasn’t said, but they all knew what their team had in mind when the idea of a b-side promotion was proposed. they were all vying for that number one spot. it’s been a week, and perhaps, mijoo had begun to lose hope on that becoming a reality.
sure, they were doing well on the charts. it was no number one, but it was amazing how well they were doing on the digital charts regardless of their nugu status. at this rate, maybe a first win wasn’t so out of reach? maybe not for this song, hopefully for the next.
they’re gathered at the end of the ‘the show’ taping. piled onto that stage like a bulk of sardines waiting for the news of today’s winner to be announced. mijoo has a light heart as she watches their seniors stand before them; her own head a excessive bobbing as she bows and greets each one that passes by her; pinching herself to stay alert whenever a new one happens to come within a foot of her peripheral.
it was what a good hoobae was supposed to do and mijoo was nothing but good when it came to appearances. her smile bright and humble, even more so when they’re as a quintet, are ushered to the front of the stage as they begin to announce the nominees for this week’s ‘the show’ winner.
mijoo doesn’t think much of it -- it’ll be another nomination without any real rewards. their fifteen seconds of screen time and light fun as the camera pans to them before returning to the winners. this is what she thinks as she and nayoung wave at the cameras and she’s linking arms with dabin; making funny faces at one another at the thought that them? a first win? never, they were joking.
“congratulations --”
but the joke’s on her because suddenly they’re not making those funny faces any more, and the hand that had raised to the camera is no longer waving. it’s a fast press of her palm to her lips as she stares in surprise at the fans, shaking where they stood at the front, mouthing to the girls in congratulations. the disbelief is apparent, the bugging of her eyes exaggerating the surprise before reality hits and understanding cements just what had happened.
“LUXE!”
the ringing in her ears startle her, the applause is thundering ; the screaming that comes from the crowd, the people around them deafens her. and the words that come from the host’s lips as the award is shoved into her hands, has mijoo doing a double take – what happened? her eyes are wide in disbelief, unable to deliver words that are to come. she feels arms around her and the tears begin to blur her vision and before she knows it she hears a familiar voice in her ears. she turns to spy haseul and her arms in a soft embrace, one that mijoo takes comfort in, squeezing the other’s arm before waving her sincere gratitude the other’s way as she leaves the stage. a promise to see the other once the moment was truly over made in silence.
but the silence is short because every night slowly seeps into her ears and mics are passed around to each of them. they’re meant to sing, to laugh, to celebrate and yet, all mijoo can do is feel the tears spilling over her eyes as she continues to cry when she’s handed the trophy. it’s weight feels like her heart in her hands. a heaviness that’s so light, she feels as if the moment she let go it’d just disappear.
“oh -- uh ... first of all, thank you so much.” she bows her head, continuously, before rising; the back of her palm pressing into her cheeks as she speaks into the microphone. “for us to get this win, we’re all really thankful for all the love and support you’ve shown us throughout our ever night promotions. even though there’s still so much we have to improve, we want to thank you for believing in us and supporting us throughout it all. we’d like to thank our fans for all their hard work, as long as you’re happy, we’re happy to perform for you!”
she bows her head each time a name is said, the tears beginning tip over her lashes at every word. “we’d also like to thank all of royal’s staff who’ve taken very good care of us since our debut; also our stylist team, our hair and make up team; our pd-nims who give us such amazing songs to perform, it’s a huge honor for us; jo soonyang teacher for helping us with our vocals, and yoo jaekyung teacher for creating such beautiful choreographer for each song, thank you!”
“and we can’t forget to thank our royal sajangnim: so jisub sajangnim for believing in us and giving us this opportunity, too, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!”
there were so many other’s she wished to thank, of loves ones she wanted to pour her heart to; but the words die and she’s overcome by the tears as her hand pushes its way to her lips to muffle the sharp breath she takes in order to breathe.
( the burden of february is far from her mind, despite her own thoughts coming to full throttle over the only person she wished to cry to; his award was on her shelf for her to keep. would it be too much to send him a picture of her own award for him to keep safe? the stress that had taken a hold of her is miles away as she revels in the joy that’s surrounding her. a part of her can’t wait to get to the waiting room, fingers on the keypad as she texts him -- hearts full and all: we won, rome.
( was this the price to be won for his sacrifice? ) )
the conclusion of her speech is on the tip of her tongue, muting as she allows someone else to take their turn in saying thanks as she buries her head in seoyoung’s shoulder. her tears dampening the front of the other’s costume as she tries to keep her shudders to a minimum. the weight of a hopeful win had always been heavy at her shoulders; a promise she had made each time she had crossed paths with their ceo, with any of their teachers, any of their staff: it had always been empty, of disappointment after confused promotions had ended and there was nothing to really show for it.
but now, the weight felt like it had been lifted ( at least for now ): and mijoo finally felt like she could breathe again.
seyong’s girlfriend ❤ @evteevee
@bboybyu it’s not the same convex without you
💬 ⟲ ♡ •••
seyong’s girlfriend ❤ @evteevee
@bboybyu i hope you’ll live happily !!! please kiss your girlfriend for me and tell her that i say she has the best man in the world!! not everyone would give up their whole careers for a girl !!!
💬 ⟲ ♡ •••
seyong’s girlfriend ❤ @evteevee
@bboybyu i love you, romeo!! be safe out there!!!
💬 ⟲ ♡ •••
rest. @evteevee
yeah i’m not okay but it’s not like anyone cares, so? like, eevee it’s just a kpop boy lol get a chill pill, right? yeah, it’s not just that to me, so i’m going [ REST ]
💬 ⟲ ♡ •••
rest. @evteevee
i’ll be around on the dms i guess, but i’m only going to talk about the romeo thing once and it won’t be here. i have a blog for a reason and twitter can’t handle my rage with a character count lmao ok bye
💬 ⟲ ♡ •••
[ text: Broccoli Head 🥦 ] Hey, you ever heard of a thing called ktrookies?
[ text: Broccoli Head 🥦 ] I remember watching the first round, much better content
[ text: Broccoli Head 🥦 ] Just kidding but I gotta ask
[ text: Broccoli Head 🥦 ] I don’t wanna ask but I gotta
[ text: Broccoli Head 🥦 ] Are you lowkey letting out your inner furry out?
( outgoing ) ✉ » budget spiderman !
↪ ··· hmmm sounds familiar....
↪ ··· if you give me more info i’ll probably know it
↪ ··· listen imma toss you into the han river with bricks for feet!! both rounds were great!!
↪ ··· what....
↪ ··· oh!
↪ ··· i wasn’t wearing ears ya drongo!!
↪ ··· but you know....that brings up a good question...why is it called a catsuit?
↪ ··· is it because of catwoman
at first sunmi suspects the assembly of sorts to be concerning the rumours going around. maybe they’ll know who the whistle blower was and she’d be able to give the dickhead who cost her cousin his seat in a debut group a piece of her mind.
(admittedly she and blake had always been pretty decent as cousins on opposite sides of the family. even if celeste and blake were never the “two peas in a pod” you’d expect from certain cousins, she’d still kick someone’s ass on his behalf with zero hesitation.)
everyone is buzzing with their own theories. sunmi is bored, legs and arms crossed as she gazes at hyun bin taking the stand. she’s supremely unimpressed with this display but she’s sure the ceo pays no mind to individual expressions of his prisoners before him.
sunmi stares blanky, fully expecting the man to first start talking about their past fellow trainee. instead he speaks of ‘so-called’ lack of activity. the wording of his speech is what causes sunmi’s expression to twist into scorn. ‘so-called’ when he’s been more than aware since two and a half years ago when sunmi had brought up the inactivity the first time. and this past contract renewal when she brought it up again. it wasn’t ‘so-called’ or ‘supposed’ or even ‘alleged’. it was very plainly inactivity. no suspicion or hypothetical about it. nova has done nothing towards debut in her years of being here and she’s beyond angered that hyun bin seemed to have taken it so lightly as if there aren’t people who their livelihood depends on this.
to make matters worse, this dramatic ...man (for sunmi’s lack of more respect terms) leaves the stage in the middle of his speech. sunmi rolls her eyes openly now, knowing this only spells trouble. unsurprisingly, her hunch was right.
it took this man four and a half years for him to still default to a “debut project” in order to build a debut group. as if there aren’t several of them that had been there for 3 years in the very least. as if he didn’t always have the option to release a trio or a solo or something this entire time. he may have claimed that other companies were rushing to make groups but hyun bin was taking his sweet ass time and it was backfiring. she immediately felt like the project was fucking stupid.
there was nothing special about it beyond the fact that they were going to be imprisoned for three months. it wasn’t even being televised so it’s not like it would provide any hype or help to the project group. sunmi can’t help but scoff because they all seemed awfully proud of themselves: with the dramatic transition from ceo to coaches, from the dramatic late addition of admittance that it was for both male and female trainees. there were many aspects of this that came off as unnecessary showmanship. it only depleted sunmi’s opinion of nova further.
(she now officially regrets ever wanting to be in nova. she would much rather be a kt rookie at this rate and even that seems just as pointless as being a supernova debut project trainee.)
they’re dismissed and as people are filing to throw their hat in the ring sunmi pauses. if she doesn’t attempt then she resigned herself to two more years without reason. it would be a waste. knowing nova, an opportunity like this may not come for 6 more years. sunmi didn’t have that kind of time. a part of her is completely sure that she’s going to regret this in the end one way or another but she knows she has to attempt.
so along with everyone else who too eagerly signs their name, sunmi adds her own. the minute she walks away a rock settles in her stomach. she knows she wouldn’t like this in the end.
◆ WON’T YOU BE MY LOVE ━━━━ • • • ﹅ 럭스 ‘FANTASY’ SHOWCASE
sometimes, mijoo wishes she can cross her fingers and hope for the best. that in time, the better days will come and wash out the tiresome blues that take her away some days. the past few months are a blur of exhaustion, tiresome conflict and the ongoing scurry to do better, to be better, to try and try again until everything was absolutely perfect. it’s been a rough few months for all of them that the expectations for this month are as high as the heavens that it’s with little hope that all of this can be done within one month was near impossible but by the end of it -- mijoo thinks, maybe miracles do exist.
( that hard work really can overcome the cracks in their foundation )
they’re a six-membered force cut down to five, exchanged and traded, and berated by the public only to return again in the midst of turmoil and the devastation of a group too dear to her heart. she shouldn’t care. to the public eye, it shouldn’t even faze her. ( but it does, so much that mijoo has to force herself to not; she’s not supposed to expose herself to such a scandal, spent years being so, so, so careful not to that this hurdle is a little too hard for her to bear.
it doesn’t help that she feels completely helpless ( read: useless ) when rome makes all these decisions on his own for the sole purpose to protect her and her dreams while doing nothing to save himself from the chaos.
( so she thinks, how the devils toy with her mind, bringing her deeper and deeper into despair that even the tears she cries to make them stop do little to ease them this time )
she hates this, hates this so much that she tells herself it’s better to do without it.
so she locks it away for a moment, calls rome at the earliest convenience to tell him that she can’t do this this close to the comeback. she loves him, he knows this, but she also loves her career, too.
( he also knows this, all too well )
she strays a little, what used to be daily calls become texts every few days because she can’t afford the distraction, no matter how much her heart aches with the guilt of january, and the size of jupiter weighs it down. the guilt is there very much by the following days leading up to the showcase that mijoo tosses and turns with her options, the invites to the showcase -- another 4 golden tickets to be spent -- are ready to be given. she weighs her options, teeth pulling at her bottom lip as she types her messages.
﹡* ❪ SMS ☎︎ ┊ WOLVEROME ❫ ⨯
i can’t imagine you not being there
think about it? – ❪ SENT ❫ ᵎ
she promises not to regret this. )
flashing lights, this is what she wants. the roar of applause, it’s what she feels in her veins as she steps onto that stage among four others ; the tide of their future riding on the performance that lay before them. she doesn’t realize how much she needs this until fingers press to her heart and she’s crossing the stars, voice a startling quake in the midst of a lone piano.
perhaps, this is what she needed.
a healthy distraction from the storminess her personal life has taken. she takes it in and reigns the deepest of her feelings and shelves it for a rainy day, rainier than the chilly days seoul has taken this february.
holed in the practices room for the better part of the month prepares them for the onslaught of busy days. that when the day of their comeback falls upon them, mijoo is barely able to catch her breath as they’re shoved from one taping to the next.
piled into their van and sped from one end of seoul to another in order to make it in time for a quick dress rehearsal before the show at six that evening. it’s too much, too fast, all at once -- and everything in between but it keeps her mind busy; keeps mijoo from feeling complacent and succumbing to the guilt that had been eating at her since the end of january.
and while confused was the least of her sentiments, her heart felt as stormy as the song they were able to sing.
but she’s branded by confidence, by the utmost trust that the ones who loved her were there with her to support her, despite the troubles that may come by the decisions she makes today, mijoo wishes for the best. ( because that’s all she can do now, whether or not this was worth it was a conversation for a different day because today was their first comeback as a new group, nothing else should matter )
leather and latex the brand as they slip into their battle armor for the the season to come, mijoo can feel the nerves eating at her. but a single breath dashes them, feeling the arms that wrap around her and the girls as they all jump collectively around nayoung; all smiles, all laughter. all anticipating for the world to collapse at their feet, all finally happy at the new addition to their team.
in mere seconds, they were about to unveil her to the world.
this was luxe -- and of course, “luxe is love, luxe is life!” it’s a scrimmage of smiles, and nerves, but they all get there -- taking their places on the same stage, together as luxe.
the showcase begins and much like august had been, her heart is thundering a mile a second. a rapid spurt of nerves that cause her fingers to tingle as the lights dim. the dark is deafening and it’s only when the lights spin, cornering each of them in it’s glow, does she feel the warmth of the stage welcoming her. the past turmoil over their futures gone, it was time to look to the present.
“why do i have to pick?” she asks at first, feeling the frown round her lips, pulling them from their seamless pout. it’s aggravating having to choose between the two loves of her life, though, not completely senseless. she knew, one day, it’d have to come to this – two options and mijoo only having one to answer to. but for now, she didn’t see the need to fancy a world where she’d have to choose one over the other. not now, hopefully not ever.
but she knows, deep down, a selfishness persists and she knows she’d be lying if she said rome.
“this one’s easy. it’s yixing gege,” he says, making his voice obnoxiously, cloyingly sweet. “he’s a great leader and, ugh, have you seen him dance?” he fans himself, bursting into laughter soon after. “and yien? so chic.” his demeanor changes, becoming a bit more somber. “it used to be romeo, too, but...” he purses his lips, releasing a popping sound as he parts them. “sphere did him fucking dirty.”
