that’s the only reason meiqi can conjure for the meeting that’s been sprung on the trainees and, quite visibly, some of the staff. confusion is evident on almost everyone’s faces, and she hopes it’s not her fault, that they’re not all getting punished for a mishap no one even realized happened. meiqi tries to rack her brain for anything out of the ordinary as she finds an open space to observe from, but she can only draw a blank. maybe someone else did something? the sigh of relief that falls from her lips is loud enough that the person beside her quirks an eyebrow curiously. she smiles dismissively.
when hyun bin, himself, makes his appearance in a dramatic fashion (he’s handsome while doing so, and his theatrics remind meiqi of herself back in her hong kong drama club), everyone knows this is serious. the silence that falls upon the crowd is unnerving. meiqi’s fidgeting the whole time, be it her thumbs twiddling or her foot tapping.
just as quick as he had appeared, hyun bin is gone, leaving the room with even more questions. and then, finally, the coaches explain what this whole fiasco is all about.
all she feels is excitement coursing through her veins. every word spoken goes right through her ears, only to come out on the other side, and only two imbed themselves in her head. sn project. nova’s very own pre-debut plan to prepare the trainees for the inevitable. the introduction of the project means that they will finally get their chance at stardom. the entire room is buzzing.
of course, meiqi is one of the first to sign her name on the list of participants. a few others take their time to ponder, weighing the benefits and the consequences of pouring three months into something that may simply be a waste of time, but she knows that opportunities like this are blue moons—a rare albeit beautiful occurrence that anyone is fortunate to be able to see. meiqi doesn’t think that there are any downsides to the project, and so she has no fear as she draws a little star beside her name.
she ends up being one of the fifteen nova trainees chosen for the project. meiqi isn’t surprised, per se, but she is grateful that out of so many, she stood out enough to qualify. that means her hard work is finally paying off.
unfortunately, that also means that the pressure to impress is much higher now. meiqi thinks she’s ready, and it seems hyun bin believes the same.
loose ends.
dealing with her family is easy. meiqi tells her cousin that she’s going to be busy for the next few months but that it’s nothing to worry about. viian is both reluctant and suspicious with the lack of explanation, but they both know she’s just playing the role of an older sister. she still transmits the information to the wongs once their schedules spare them enough time to actually hold a proper conversation. in hindsight, meiqi realizes she could have gone without telling them. the payments for her rent would still come through, and it’s not like she has daily check-in sessions with her aunt and uncle. do they even know she was on television, performing at the jeju samsung stage?
she doubts it.
and so, the problem comes with her roommate.
due to the confidentiality clauses in the contract she signed—truthfully, meiqi had someone explain it to her in simple terms, that hyun bin would immediately disqualify them if they told anyone—she can’t come clean to chungha. she can’t do as she normally would: scream excitedly about all the future possibilities, take a celebratory dance atop one of their beds, cheer with her best friend over pizza and a dozen kisses. meiqi’s getting her big break, so to speak, and she can’t even share the moment with the one person who means the world to her. the one person who would truly understand what this project actually means for her dreams.
the fact that meiqi can’t share this part of her life with any of her friends puts a damper on the whole situation. she has to be happy for herself, deal with the excitement by herself, suffer through all of these new and uncharted emotions by herself—seriously, why has her stomach been burning all week?
she spends days (and nights) pouring over the different ways she can tell chungha about her upcoming three month absence. sleep has been sparse in the past week, but even when meiqi manages to drift out of consciousness, she wakes in a cold sweat. she must be having nightmares, but she can’t recall any of them when her eyes fly open. thus, she spends her nights alternating between packing her belongings and taking bubblebaths with a glass of wine to soothe the erratic beating of her heart. luckily, all of it goes unnoticed by her roommate.
her routine lasts for the week, and by the night before the big move, meiqi realizes she still hasn’t broken the news to her beloved roommate. in her defence, she doesn’t know how to broach the topic or how to work around an explanation without lying to chungha.
all of her life, meiqi has never thought once about her little fibs and the consequences they may have either on her or on others. but with chungha, it’s different. she physically cannot bring herself to lie about something so significant to her best friend, because the older girl knows when meiqi is being honest or not. they’ve cultivated this friendship over the span of a year, to the point where they trust each other with the smallest things. breaking that bond seems more heart breaking than any of her past relationships ending.
it’s not that she doesn’t trust chungha to keep a secret, because that would be hypocritical of her. if meiqi is being honest with herself, she doesn’t want to tell chungha in fear of what happens when she returns. what if she comes back from a debut project that she was sure she would succeed in, right back at square one? it’s okay if she’s the only one who is frustrated, but meiqi is new to this whole letting other people down thing. before last week, she had never even considered the possibility of disappointing anyone because she’s never truly thought of or cared about what others think about her. and maybe it’s selfish of her to take the easy way out, but that’s all she is really good at. that’s the only way she knows.
so when the day comes for her to move into the dorms, and meiqi still hasn’t mentioned a word about her little sabbatical to chungha, all she can manage is a last-minute, shitty note taped to the fridge. on it is scrawled, “i’ll be back soon, don’t worry.” and then she disappears, for better or for worse, with guilt lining her heart and longing squeezing it in a fist as soon as she shuts the door behind her.
d-day.
the dorm is cramped even without any of the trainees’ belongings. and yet, meiqi still walks into the shared space with awe-stricken eyes, though it's attributed to just how terrible these living quarters are in comparison to her usual places. she definitely overpacked, what with her two suitcases bursting at the seams.
nonetheless, the first day is hectic in every way possible. not only must they adjust to the humble abode, but they all set out to celebrate the birthdays that lie on the cusp of move-in day. meiqi is in charge of decorations, so she sets out with chaeyoung to buy the most expensive, tasteful ornaments and helps set them up when they return.
meiqi doesn’t feel that odd ache in her stomach for the majority of the day, having busied herself with party preparations and filling herself up with cake. the fact that she’s surrounded with the other nova female trainees eases it too, to the point where every sliver of guilt and worry slips away and she can fully enjoy her time.
it’s when the lights go out, those pesky not-so-hidden cameras can’t see her, and when she’s curled up in her bunk bed that meiqi feels it. the emptiness by her side where chungha should be laying, ready to cuddle up for the extra warmth, be it an arm draped loosely over meiqi’s body or their bodies pressing together with no room to spare in between. of course, she brought one of her plushies that smelled reminiscent of home (of chungha’s shampoo). however, the substitute, she learns, is nowhere near the real thing.
holding the teddy bear to her chest, meiqi buries her face in its fur and forces her eyes shut. no matter how hard she tries, she can’t seem to fall asleep. that feeling in the pit of her stomach is back in full force, and meiqi’s skin goose-pimples as she hugs her blanket tighter around her frame. she wonders if any of the other trainees feel particularly cold, or if this is just something she’ll have to get used to from now onwards.
sleep finally comes at three in the morning, but not without respite.
meiqi dreams of failure, of loneliness, and a certain brunette hand in hand with someone else as they walk away from her without looking back.
sunmi wasn’t particularly worried about this week. it was the final week of their skill regimen. she hadn’t done amazing during the previous week although she feels as though that had been the case for a majority of the company outside the (what? five?) rappers there. that was to be expected since the company was filled with a majority of vocalists.
sunmi also anticipates for a vast majority of the company to struggle this week as well. unlike them, she wouldn’t be. she knew she was going to end up helping a good lot of them so they wouldn’t fail miserably. a lot of them had improved greatly but they still doubted themselves. fixating on their faults were going to do nothing to help them improve. this brings her to jungwoo. her pupil for the hour.
“you know what this means, right?” she says, narrowing her eyes at jungwoo to see if he’d falter or reconsider his decision in asking sunmi for assistance. when she doesn’t see any immediate signs of him wavering, she continues. “this means i have to be critical. i’m not trying to be mean spirited. i have to criticise you so you’re more wary of how you present yourself in choreographies, okay?” she wasn’t an easy person to please. in fact she took dancing seriously. she wouldn’t settle for anything mediocre. it was a part of the reason why sunmi knew she wasn’t going to struggle this week.
“if you’re not up for it then you’re free to ask hui oppa or ricky to help you with your dancing.”
it all felt so unreal. several weeks ago, solji had been packing her bags to perform in jeju. now, this time, she was packing her bags to move into the nova dorm to take part of the newly announced nova project – sn project. she could sense the mixed bag of emotions that seemed to flow through the hallways of the company after the project had been announced. however, as a whole, the company seemed to liven up with this news, and for the first time in a long time, solji felt excited about her decision to have signed with nova in the first place.
of course, as was expected, with these special projects came new restrictions and changes in her life. she knew that they’d be getting their dorm announcements today, and there was a part of her that worried about just how the living arrangements would be. what if she hated her roommates? it had been so long since she lived with more than one other person. ( she wasn’t going to lie, when she heard that there would be four to a room, she lowkey panicked ). she loved living with chaeyoung, but somehow, she felt like the odds of them sharing a room would be low. who knew that she would be correct in her thoughts? nonetheless, when the assignments were made, she was relieved, not at all minding the girls she was assigned to. in fact, she’d have to say that they were at least the ones she seemed to have gotten closer to in her time at nova. now, she could only hope that they at least had the same cleanliness habits but maybe she was asking for too much at this point. if anything, they wouldn’t be spending too much time in the room aside from sleeping, right?
the most difficult part about all of this, though, was being away from those she loved. her brother and his family were having another baby. her son was now finally in seoul. and then there was her feelings for kenta that she had not yet revealed. however, with the timing of this project, maybe it was a sign for her to not say anything until it was all over. if something was found out during this time, it would be the end of her career, and frankly, if they aren’t dating, then solji wouldn’t have to lie.
so, she sent a message letting him know that she’d be mia for the next three months. she could only hope that he’d understand ( and wait, if he were potentially feeling the same way she did ). she also sent a message to her parents, letting them know that she and chaeyoung would be vacating the apartment and that, if they wanted to come and stay at her place in the meantime, that it would be okay.
this would be weird, and she already knew it would be hard. however, just how hard, she wasn’t quite sure yet. she just knew that she had debut. there would be nothing stopping her from this path if she could help it herself.
leaving home for three months seemed like a hard enough task. coupling it with the fact that they had to cut off not only social media but all outside contact was almost prison-like. they were only given 12 days (roughly) out of the 92-ish days to speak to their loved ones. even then, they weren’t allowed to post on social media. it was subject for expulsion from the project.
for the social media attached people, this “project” would seem like hell if they’d ever seen one. on top of that they were being filmed (nearly) every waking moment was enough to drive anyone insane. they had to be constantly aware with how they appeared on camera, nipping bad behaviours that they have. it was like having the idol flip switched on 24/7 and they only reprieve they had was when they slept.
for someone who was mainly an introvert like sunmi, it was exhausting. even more so to never have time for herself and be able to just process her emotions. she always had to present that she was okay, that she was healthy in all aspects. her only space she got was in the bathroom. it was this draining for her, she could only imagine how hard it is on the younger members of the company. her thoughts drift to haknyeon, the youngest in nova’s entirety. it wasn’t even an adult yet. this seemed particularly cruel for a child to have to endure this when he should be attending school.
she’s not surprised that the young boy is alone in the training studio in the building. somewhere in her mind she hates that this sight isn’t a surprising one. she expected that one of them (or a couple of them) would need to sneak away at some point. even if it was for a moment. still she frowns, walking into the studio and taking a seat next to him. ignoring the cameras, she pets his head. “hey. how’re you holding up?”
it must have been hard for him. not to long ago he had just graduated. he and his friends were supposed to be taking this time to hang out before they all entered university. instead he was here. sunmi sighed. “feeling homesick?”
sunmi’s apartment was almost too full considering she was moving out. her grandmother had agreed to take over while sunmi was gone. she didn’t question how that was going to work if her and her boyfriend had their apartment. but she had assured her that everything would stay right where it was. they’d reclaim the master bedroom and her things would be fine upstairs.
so the most sunmi had her in her car were suitcases full of clothing along with a few other essentials she couldn’t live without in three months. knowing that nova kids didn’t all have vehicles, sunmi offered to help some move. she even traded off her car with her dad’s suv for the day. it gave her optimal space. since it was her stuff plus some other people that day, she could use all the space she could get.
she drove from her place to yongsun’s. she’s not sure what the other intended to bring. after all, they would be sharing the dorms with others and they weren’t sure who was rooming with who. even so, sunmi said they should organise who brings what appliances; so sunmi volunteered to bring both her ps4 and her television. so whoever dorms with her is set when it comes to entertainment. she pulls up to yongsun’s place within thirty minutes of leaving her own. she honks the horn twice before climbing out of her car, ready to help the other pile into the suv.
“rise and shine! get ready to leave the comfort of our apartments for three months!”
despite her initial distaste with the supernova project, sunmi still found herself signing up. as did many other nova trainees. in fact, she’s not even surprised that everyone immediately flocked to the sign up sheet. it has been years of slow moving not-as-big events coming from the company. although this wasn’t a show (nothing was going to be televised or anything) it clearly seemed like the first step towards a debut project.
although sunmi was skeptical. what could come from putting both boys and girls in dorms and having them both endure an intensive three month training period? is only one group going to emerge? co-ed groups weren’t common. in fact, sunmi could name any and all on a single hand. and if it was just to debut a group of a single gender then that only meant that hyun bin, once again, wasted people’s time with making everyone go when he could have just simple started with a single gender anyways.
there was nothing but questions in the nova senior’s mind. too many theories and what ifs and what abouts - it was driving her insane. not to mention that by the end of the month, they all had to be moved out of their homes and in dorms. sunmi felt a little....unprepared. almost five and half years of training and she’s completely thrown by the next steps. a part of her had gotten complacent with the idea that the “next” was never going to come to nova.
she plopped down at the dinner table with a heavy sigh. “hey sungyeol-ssi,” she said tiredly. the whole day had taken a lot out of her. although she wasn’t buzzing with excitement like many of the others, just the event alone depleted any energy she had. “how’re you going to handle being in a dorm for three months? with your baby girl and all,” sunmi asked, partially curious with how the young father intends to take advantage of this opportunity that only takes him away from his family completely. considering so many people signed with no hesitation, it doesn’t even occur to sunmi that sungyeol wouldn’t jump on the opportunity as well. especially considering how their previous conversation went. “i know it’s going to be hard....”
at first sunmi suspects the assembly of sorts to be concerning the rumours going around. maybe they’ll know who the whistle blower was and she’d be able to give the dickhead who cost her cousin his seat in a debut group a piece of her mind.
(admittedly she and blake had always been pretty decent as cousins on opposite sides of the family. even if celeste and blake were never the “two peas in a pod” you’d expect from certain cousins, she’d still kick someone’s ass on his behalf with zero hesitation.)
everyone is buzzing with their own theories. sunmi is bored, legs and arms crossed as she gazes at hyun bin taking the stand. she’s supremely unimpressed with this display but she’s sure the ceo pays no mind to individual expressions of his prisoners before him.
sunmi stares blanky, fully expecting the man to first start talking about their past fellow trainee. instead he speaks of ‘so-called’ lack of activity. the wording of his speech is what causes sunmi’s expression to twist into scorn. ‘so-called’ when he’s been more than aware since two and a half years ago when sunmi had brought up the inactivity the first time. and this past contract renewal when she brought it up again. it wasn’t ‘so-called’ or ‘supposed’ or even ‘alleged’. it was very plainly inactivity. no suspicion or hypothetical about it. nova has done nothing towards debut in her years of being here and she’s beyond angered that hyun bin seemed to have taken it so lightly as if there aren’t people who their livelihood depends on this.
to make matters worse, this dramatic ...man (for sunmi’s lack of more respect terms) leaves the stage in the middle of his speech. sunmi rolls her eyes openly now, knowing this only spells trouble. unsurprisingly, her hunch was right.
it took this man four and a half years for him to still default to a “debut project” in order to build a debut group. as if there aren’t several of them that had been there for 3 years in the very least. as if he didn’t always have the option to release a trio or a solo or something this entire time. he may have claimed that other companies were rushing to make groups but hyun bin was taking his sweet ass time and it was backfiring. she immediately felt like the project was fucking stupid.
there was nothing special about it beyond the fact that they were going to be imprisoned for three months. it wasn’t even being televised so it’s not like it would provide any hype or help to the project group. sunmi can’t help but scoff because they all seemed awfully proud of themselves: with the dramatic transition from ceo to coaches, from the dramatic late addition of admittance that it was for both male and female trainees. there were many aspects of this that came off as unnecessary showmanship. it only depleted sunmi’s opinion of nova further.
(she now officially regrets ever wanting to be in nova. she would much rather be a kt rookie at this rate and even that seems just as pointless as being a supernova debut project trainee.)
they’re dismissed and as people are filing to throw their hat in the ring sunmi pauses. if she doesn’t attempt then she resigned herself to two more years without reason. it would be a waste. knowing nova, an opportunity like this may not come for 6 more years. sunmi didn’t have that kind of time. a part of her is completely sure that she’s going to regret this in the end one way or another but she knows she has to attempt.
so along with everyone else who too eagerly signs their name, sunmi adds her own. the minute she walks away a rock settles in her stomach. she knows she wouldn’t like this in the end.
sunmi’s two main items she brought were her ps4 and her nintendo switch. the former she’s had it for several years now. her switch was a christmas gift from her father. she brought games for both but also a few movies she likes to watch on the playstation on the off chance they have some free time.
all of her clothing is clearly set for her training regimen, whatever it may be. she has one of two pairs of jeans in her closet but it’s mostly filled with leggings, sweats and athletic shorts
she has a pair of sailor moon slippers she wears around the house
her sneakers are all for dance as well. she has her jazz shoes, sneakers worn for hip hop practise, sneakers that are in better condition that are clearly meant for evaluations or performances and her tap shoes
skin care and makeup. sometimes she takes the time out to put a little something on to look nicer.......sometimes
SLEEPING HABITS:
sunmi cannot sleep. she has insomnia fairly often and thrives off of a few hours of sleep. despite the little sleep she’s actually supremely active
when sunmi can’t sleep she will (silently) watch a movie, play some video games or go down to the studios to brush up on something that needs work
she used to listen to asmr videos/soft music to finally be able to sleep but since they don’t have access to their phones and such, her sleep pattern is absolute shit the first five or so days during the project. the first two days she doesn’t sleep a wink. the third she sleeps only because she didn’t sleep the first two and the fourth is a consequence from sleeping too much. on the fifth night she’s able to exhaust herself before it’s too late into the night and she sleeps a little bit past 3 am
sunmi’s self care is usually shit normally (when she’s at a depressive low lmao) but during the project she makes a conscious effort to focus on her skin care routine before bed. she doesn’t do it daily because she forgets or is too tired but does it every so often in the very least
sunmi is not a morning person. just because she manages to be fully awake for training doesn’t mean she likes it. very likely that she’s going to say something about hating the sun or how bright it is in the studios in the early morning
BEHAVIOUR:
sunmi gets awkward with the cameras when she remembers they’re there. she knows she has to be consistently conscious of how she comes off. the idea stresses her out so sometimes she straight up ignores the camera’s existence to the best of her ability to keep herself relaxed
on the off chance she does acknowledge the camera, its to do a quick wave or pose. she doesn’t talk to the cameras much (this is subject to change as time goes on)
she does get caught dancing to music if she’s in the dorms listening to music. most of the time she can’t help it because she does need to move
she’s fairly motherly to all of the nova trainees. she’s often cooking, cleaning the living room or the room she shares.
if she’s going to fix herself some food, she always asks if someone else is hungry or would like something to eat as well so she can make food for them as well
sunmi likes to snack a lot. be it healthy or unhealthy: she’s gotta snacc
( please look out for her facial expressions as reactions to shit people say. because she’s quick to react facially so there’s a lot of meme opportunities there people. meme her )
TRAINING/PRACTISE
sunmi does stretches every day. she’s fairly flexible due to her gymnastics past and has a lot of core strength and balance. if she decides to plop down to a studio while she can’t sleep she will do so yoga that requires a lot of flexibility and balance just to make sure she’s still limber (spoiler: she is)
sunmi is a dancer so you will see her practising a lot of choreographies that she’s created. (i may or may not compile a list of all dance choreographies are canonically claimed by sunmi over the last 5 years of rk)
her singing isn’t perfect by any means but she’s chosen to focus on rap a little bit. for now, she’s working on improving her rapping even if it’s only to a passable level (for her to be a sub-rapper at most)
dancing outfit examples: here, here, here, here (note: these are only examples. there are plenty different styles she wears!)
