#rktho

[klywrites]

Portia for @rkthowrites

asdfjk wow this was so challenging and it’s still not quite there but I hope it’s satisfactory

[lj-writes]

How Disney SHOULD have made the sequel trilogy

1. Choose ONE writer. This will be the George Lucas of the new age. JJ Abrams, Dave Filoni, just choose someone you think will take care of the franchise the way George did. (I am not saying JJ or Filoni should have been the ones in this position, but they wouldn’t be the worst.)

2. Balance out Lucas’s successor with a different director or multiple different directors. The Kershners and Marquands of the new age.

3. Spend THREE YEARS on each episode the way it’s ALWAYS been done. Absolutely no cranking out saga installments.

4. Keep an animated show handy to tide people over. Ideally, this show could tie into the sequels, taking place between them the way the 2003 Clone Wars miniseries tied directly into Revenge of the Sith and got people hyped for it after Attack of the Clones. Or, better yet, devote a show explaining what happened between ROTJ and Episode VII. But under NO circumstances assume people will watch it and not have to have it explained in the film. Give enough exposition for people who only watch the movies.

5. The anthology films are a good idea, much like the TV show. Work on them at more or less the same time as the saga films with a different crew and release them between saga installments. Again, three year gaps provide a nice middle year for anthology films to be released. Lucasfilm could get away with cranking these out instead of devoting huge effort to them, but obviously they don’t want people losing interest in the franchise.

6. Make the film clear for the Internet™ and explain it to them, because they won’t understand. None of this “is Reylo going to happen” BS. People should know what Lucasfilm’s intentions are and what messages it’s promoting.

7. The mystery box approach isn’t really the best thing for Star Wars. No one walked out of A New Hope thinking, “I bet Vader is Luke’s father!” or “I bet Leia is Luke’s sister!” Those iconic reveals punched us in the gut instead of building anticipation (during which time, theorists would figure out the twist before it happened.) On the other hand, be sure to subtly set up the reveals so they don’t come off as butt-pulls (coughs at Rey Nobody.)

[klywrites]

Apparently there's a gene that makes cilantro taste like soap?

I heard something like that, that it was a gene or enzyme or something

it doesn't taste like soap to me but it does for my cousin, who actually can't stand it at all to the point where he'll gag if it's finely chopped and all over his food

my brother doesn't like it but he'll eat it, so it's more of a dislike to him, whereas I will pick it out of my food even if it's a very tiny piece lol

[lj-writes]

Build on the story? Furthering the plot? With realistic and satisfying character development? Pfft. That’s boring. All the sequels are doing that these days. Let’s subvert their expectations and do the literal exact opposite of that. Art is subjective and has no rules you can’t say it’s “bad” that’s just an opinion shut up manbabies

[lj-writes]

Finn, Ron Weasley and Raoul de Chagny are starting a “people ship the girl who’s mutually in love with me with the villain who abuses her instead” club, refer members in the comments

[lj-writes]

How to watch The Last Jedi and enjoy it

1. Make popcorn. Not just regular popcorn. I mean like distractingly good, buttery salty heaven, maybe pour some queso on it if you love that stuff (I know I do.) Make a gigantic batch and keep a big bowl handy.

2. Optional: find the absolute best ice cream milkshake recipe and whip up a glass. Just one, though, and make sure it’s really good.

3. Get a bowl of pretzels and throw some caramel M&Ms in there.

4. Eat all the food and don’t watch TLJ.

I’m just kidding, but you could do that. That’d be a really good idea.

4. Make your couch as comfortable as possible, unless you can watch in bed. Pillows, blankets– just surround yourself with it. Make sure you don’t have to move too much to reach your food.

5. Procrastinate starting the movie until it’s very late. There’s a purpose behind this step.

6. When you start the movie, keep your phone nearby with the ringer turned all the way up. Maybe you want to live tweet this? I feel like that’d be a good idea.

7. When the movie starts, immediately go to work on your milkshake. You want to finish it before you get to Ahch-to.

8. Don’t think about the plot. Just don’t. Focus on the tiny stuff. “Oh. Imperial veteran. Cool. Oh. Gold robe. Cool. Oh. Yoda. Cool.”

9. When Poe makes his prank call, make a call of your own. Call your mom or something. Talk about anything but Star Wars.

10. When the green milk scene comes up, just close your eyes. You don’t want to see that while you’re eating.

11. Depending on how comfortable your couch is, you should be falling asleep around Canto Bight. This is the idea.

12. If not, make sure you have lots of popcorn.

13. How much have you been tweeting? Tweet more. Your followers should have to suffer through this too.

14. If you make it to Snoke’s death, pause the movie. Congratulate yourself. Order a pizza.

15. Just to procrastinate a bit longer, don’t start the movie again until the pizza’s arrived.

16. Start the movie again. You should be extremely tired right now. Now would be a good time to fall asleep.

17. If you don’t fall asleep, you deserve an award. Congratulations, you made it through the worst Star Wars film ever and you kinda liked it. Not the movie, you still hate it, but that popcorn was really good.

18. Sleep in tomorrow.

[klywrites]

@rktho-writes  😂

[lj-writes]

Mumford & Sons + Finnrey