365 days of ouat ladies: day 211

#interview with the vampire#iwtv#amc tvl#jacob anderson#sam reid





seen from United States
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seen from Indonesia
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from India
365 days of ouat ladies: day 211
I see bits of you in partners that could have been mine if I wasn't warned by your blaring eyes or the smoke leaving your mouth that I see in them. The manipulative behavior and the flirtatious glances that mean nothing. You saved me from different versions of yourself. The only good thing you've ever done for me. So cheers. To the bastard that broke my heart.
I wish I told you how I felt at the time but even if you were to ask me now, the words I thought over a thousand times would still find a way to trip, stumble, and fall into nonexistence.
Through the tears and the anger I wrote my heart out believing it would help me recover the pain losing you held. However you weren't a loss but a lesson taught the hard way. That I am my own queen and king. That I rule over my body, my emotions, my entire being. That a silly boy will never hold my heart with shakey hands ever again. That I will love myself enough to never put myself through your bull shit one more time.
I can feel my heartbeat resonating through my body indicating that I am alive. Indicating that there is something inside of me. But these hollow walls are forming this hollow cave with an amber ridden fire pit. Flames choked out on its own smoke. Drowning above sea level.
I thought about the words that were going to run out of my mouth. I didnt have to think that long. I inhaled deeply breathing in toxic air and screamed on a rooftop of the tallest building for the world to hear. I screamed so loudly that the vibrations ripped my throat so rough that uneven edges appeared. I screamed so harshly that the sky shook and poured down in fear. I screamed "I hate him" and I said it with a smile. And the world saw. And the world looked away. And my smile. My smile was washed away by the rain that ran away from the skies above.
My heart still aches when I remember the future you promised me.
A midnight blue accent wall in the kitchen of the apartment and sunflowers on the terrace.
Us waking up beside each other everyday.
You said you couldn’t wait to see me with my hair a mess every morning. Couldn’t wait to see me walking around with your too big shirt on me. Couldn't wait to come home to me. You couldn’t wait but for some reason I still am.
Sarcastic serotonin filled my head when you said you loved me. I laughed out loud, of course you loved me.