warm
remus lupin x fem!reader
summary: the story of remus and fem!reader: the start of their friendship, moments in their friendship, and the start of something more.
tw: mentions of attempted sexual assault
y/n y/l/n was a quiet being. that was a well-known fact. she was the type of girl that isn’t “super model” pretty, but was in a natural kind of way. she didn’t have crazy big eyes and with full eyebrows with a button nose with full lips. she was natural. remus liked that.
she is extremely wise for someone her age. remus liked that, too. remus never really looked at her in any way other than as the girl he is paired with in potions… until one night:
it was a stormy night as the four boys walked to the shrieking shack. it was one of those nights for poor remus and they were not hyped up for it. rainy nights were always the worst.
a few hours later the four limped into the infirmary and called out for madam pomfrey. remus hushed them as he gestured to the sleeping figure on a few beds over. it was y/n y/l/n. they had heard about the fight that she had gotten into.
i wonder what happened to make her snap, remus pondered. she’s normally so calm and indifferent. what could he have done? remus didn’t get the chance to analyze the girl because madam pomfrey had come out to help.
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it was about noon when remus awoke and it was because of sirius and james arguing over who should sneak into kitchen for food. it seems as though they’re arguing didn’t only wake him,
“can both of you just go to the kitchen or play a game of rock, paper, scissors because y’all are loud as fuck and i’m nursing a cracked skull,” a low voice snarked. their heads whipped in the direction of the voice to see the smaller girl slowly trying to sit up. she had a purple cheek, split lip, and cast on her left arm.
“well, well, well, i see the ravenclaw did you in, huh?” sirius jested. “maybe you shouldn’t fight 6-foot boys when you are half his size.”
she rolled her eyes and sarcastically chuckled, “he had it coming. he was a douchebag and he should be glad that one of the prewitts found me before i stomped on his stupid face.” she curiously ran her eyes over the four of them, “if you’re so great, then why do the four of you look so black and blue, huh?”
the four boys stiffened and glanced at one another. sirius opened his mouth just as she started, “don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone that remus is a werewolf. i’m a bitch, but that kind of bitch.” their mouths bobbed open and closed in shock. “listen, i know that i’m not the smartest person in the world, but i am pretty observant. i notice things and i noticed that y’all always disappear at the same time every month and remus comes back with a new scar or a limp. no one else knows. just me.”
remus gulped, “listen, y/n–”
“no, you listen, remus. i don’t care what you are. whether you are pureblood, half-blood, or no blood. i don’t care what race or sexuality you are and i certainly do not care if you’re a werewolf. that doesn’t change who you are as a person, ‘kay? so, relax,” she gave him a soft look. “my parents are the kind of people who care about that, but i don’t. don’t group me in with those assholes, ‘kay? that’s the fastest way to make an enemy outta me. and y’all can see what happens to people who anger me.”
she gestures to the lump of person in the corner of the room. it’s the ravenclaw she fought. there are few spots on him that aren't covered by a bandage and if you can see it, its purple.
remus just gave her a firm nod and watery smile.
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that kind of changed all four boys’ perspectives on her, but especially remus's. remus had never really thought of her much before because she always seemed so unattainable. she was one of those people that are only ever themselves when they are around specific people so it’s hard to talk to them and it’s intimidating when you get the chance to.
it was a late thursday night and remus was serving detention for a prank in slughorn’s room when y/n walked in. she still had a bruised cheek and cast on.
“what did you do?” remus asked.
“beat the shit out of a ravenclaw, remember? apparently, you still have to serve detention even if he’s the one who tried to pull down your skirt in a hallway at nine o’clock at night without asking first,” she rolled her eyes as she scrubbed the cauldron aggressively. “it’s not like anyone but mcgonagall believed me, anyway. who would believe the girl in a pile on the floor bleeding with her shirt ripped over a ravenclaw prefect? ‘pparently no one.”
remus screwed his eyes shut when he realized what had happened, merlin, that’s awful.
she continued to struggle to scrub the cauldron, “how the fuck am i supposed to clean this with one hand? how is that fair? i can’t even carry one of these when i don’t have a broken arm.” she looked up at remus with watery eyes and a trembling lip.
remus reached a warm palm out to grasp her non-casted arm and pulled the cauldron out from under the other arm. he crouched slightly so he was eye level with her.
“okay, love, it’s okay,” the weight of his warm palm was comforting on her back. “ ’m sorry he did that to you and i am even more sorry that no one believed you. i think it’s amazing that you stood up for yourself like that; you’re so strong, but it’s okay to be upset about it, yeah? don’t force yourself to be okay.” he soothed a hand over the front of her head, pushing the strays out of her face. her body shook harder.
“doesn’t that feel better, lovie? to let it all outta ya’ chest like that? a good cry will solve anything, hm? wanna come here?’ he offered her the chance to close the space; he gave her the option. she hesitated and glanced him over. then she hopped down from her stool and shuffled forward into the space between his left arm and side. her right hand clutching the back of his shirt and she cradled her casted hand to her chest and tucked her face into the space between his shoulder and chest.
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that night changed y/n’s behavior more than her perspective. she had always had a softer spot for remus than she did the rest of the boys. he was just so nice. he always gave her that crooked smile that was so warm; she couldn’t resist.
the following morning, y/n was having a slight panic session over what to say to remus over the whole thing but she just decided to be calm. be calm, it’s just remus. he’s like the nicest person ever, he won’t judge you. besides, even if he does, you know his secret so a little black mail never hurt anyone. she rationalized. she knew this was a harsh way of thinking but this was how she was raised and it was ingrained in her.
y/n bumped into remus as she was walking, like literally bumped into his shoulder. she turned around to give the person who bumped her a glare, but immediately paused when she noticed who it was.
“oh, hey, remus. umm–” she harshly tucked her hair behind her pierced ears. he steadied her with warm hands and she peeked up at him through thick lashes and brows, “i–um– are we cool? ‘cause last night was a lot and– you’re shaking your head at me. are we not cool?” she took a step back, out of his hands, “did i make you uncomfortable? i promise i didn't mean to.”
remus took a step forward and grasped her biceps and tilted his head down to meet her eyes once again. “y/n, breathe, love. everything is fine. the only thing i am worried about is the fact that you have not once taken a deep breath this whole conversation. relax fo’ me, yeah?” he soothed over her biceps. “good, good. back to what you were saying, nothing has changed, hun. i don’t look at you any different than i did before. everything is fine and i hope that i didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
he gave her a charming smile and she shook her head and “no, you didn’t” quietly. “good, did you eat? c’mon, we can eat together. need some fuel in the pretty belly of your’s.” he turned her around and lead her to the hall with a palm on her back. he was just so warm.
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a few months had passed and remus and y/n had formed a nice friendship. they hung out a lot; him doing homework and her doing whatever she decided to do that day: reading, writing, homework, sleeping. she slept a lot. no one really knew where this friendship came from, but it was adored.
y/n had pondered the idea of being something more and so had remus. remus really liked the idea, and so did y/n but she hesitated after talking with marlene:
“what do you and lupin even talk about, y/n?” marlene demanded. “you guys are nothing alike. he’s so nice and outgoing and you’re… well, you’re not. usually people go for people that are similar to them, so how does that even work?”
those sentences rang through her head every hour, like church bells telling her the time of day. she felt herself distancing from remus. she didn’t know what to do. y/n hadn’t realized how much she liked remus and hoped for a relationship with him until marlene said that and made her realize how unrealistic she had been. god, i’m so stupid. she chastised.
she was hiding on the grounds of the school in a small nook by the great lake. it was a chilly day and she was bundled up in her house sweater, leather jacket, jeans and booties with remus’s beanie on. it was much too big for her so she had to keep adjusting it from falling over her eyes.
“hey, you,” remus called out to her. he had been looking for her for over an hour. she hadn’t been at lunch. “what’re ‘ya doin’? its freezin’ out ‘here.” he sat down next to her and nudged her shoulder with his.
she looked up at him with a cherry nose, “just thinking. it’s so loud inside. i just wanted it to be quiet for a little.”
“what’s the matter, bug?” he asked. “you’ve been off for a while now and ’m starting to miss ya’. yer’ my girl and it’s like yer’ gone all’a the sudden. ya’ left me alone out ’ere.” he gently coaxed.
she suddenly got up on her knees and shifted so she was facing him while sitting on her heels. she picked at her fingertips and bit her lip, “rem, do you think we are too different?” he gave her a confused tilt of his head. “it’s just– you’re so warm and great and smiley and talkative. so many people love you and everyone knows your name and you’re so smart. then, here i am and i’m not warm and not great and not smiley. i never talk and when i do, no one ever hears me. people are scared of me more than they like me. do you think we are too different to ever be anything?”
“well what do you want us to be?” he prompted. he knew what she was hinting at but he didn’t want to assume. she gave a pouty shrug of her shoulders. he heaved a sigh. “it hurts my feelings tha’ you think so little of yourself, baby. yer’ my favorite girl, my best girl. i don’t think it’s fair that ya’ hold me to such a high standard and then speak about yer’self like this.”
he tilted his head down to look at her, “what made you think about this so abruptly? you were fine a few days ago.”
“marlene said something about how we are too different and how she doesn’t get how we are so close because we are nothing alike. and i guess it just made me feel like the insecurities i was feeling are real and not just in my head,” she mumbled. she was embarrassed.
“love, look at me. i love ya’ for who you are. yer’ my best friend and i wouldn’t trade ya for anything in the whole world. and we can be anything that ya’ want us to be, okay? ya just gotta tell me what ya want,” he reached out and fixed the beanie from hiding her face. he tugged the sides down to better fit her head. god, she’s adorable. i love her so fucking much.
“can–,” she started then stopped. he encouraged her with a nudge of his head, “can we maybe be more than friends?”
he grinned, “but we are already best friends, what more can we be?” he teased. her pink cheeks turned cherry red to match her nose. she huffed and pouted. “‘m just kidding, love.” he leaned in to give her forehead a kiss, but she tilted her chin up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. her ice-cold nose touched his cheek and he inhaled sharply. she pulled back and lookup at him nervously. he reached out and pulled her into him, her legs were sprawled next to him with her lower back leaning on the outside of his right thigh. her upper body was curled into his lap with one hand cradling her back and the other on her head.
“let’s try that again, huh?” he grinned and leaned in to place a kiss to her lips.
he makes me warm, she thought.
