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i feel like the reason i also love season 3 and 4 of the 100 is because of roan. like WHEW that man is finee. his deep and raspy voice always gets to me. also i like this character and that he always tries to help kinda. but i just love me some roan
Awkward Attraction (Part 5)
Pairings: Roan / Reader
Warnings: Fluff
AN: I did it!!! I love this part so much!! *Dancing around the throne room as I wrote it*
If you want to read the previous parts of this story they are here::: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
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"Roan?" You'd never seen the king look so troubled before, in fact you didn't think you'd ever seen him look troubled full stop. “Roan?” you tried again when he hadn’t reacted to you calling him the first time.
“I can’t deal with you right now Y/N”
“Excuse me?”
He sighed crossing his arms over his chest as he finally looked up at you from his throne. “I’m tired Y/N. I can’t cope with your sarcasm right now”
“That’s ok. I don’t have any sarcasm right now” you came closer to him perching on the arm of his throne.
Roan might be fun to taunt and tease but only when he could fight back. It was no fun to play with something that wasn’t going to fight back.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Roan just looked at you curiously. “You don’t have to but sometimes it can help, you know, to talk about whatever it is”
“Wanheda…”
Well now it all made sense, Clarke had a distinct skill at making anyone she talked to miserable. You didn’t actually know how she managed it and you didn’t envy her the talent.
“What has Clarke said now?”
Roan turned completely to face you on the throne, he looked like he was considering something very hard. Finally he reached out taking your hand in his own and lacing your fingers together.
“Destroying A.L.I.E it wasn’t the end”
“What?”
“The radiation, it’s coming back. Bigger than before and it’s going to destroy everything Y/N. All of us, if we don’t find a way to stop it”
Whatever it was that you’d expected him to say it definitely wasn’t that the world was about to end once more in a cloud of acid radiation.
“Radiation?”
Roan sighed rubbing his spare hand over his face “I scared you?”
He had actually, the idea of dying not high up on your list of experiences to do. You nodded at his question. “Yeah I’m scared, but that isn’t your fault. You simply told me what I asked”
Roan gently pulled on your linked hands giving you the chance to not move if you’d wanted. You found that you did want to though. You allowed Roan to pull you off the arm of the throne and onto his knees. He wrapped an arm around your waist as you wriggled slightly getting comfortable with one leg on either side of his own.
You’d never been this close to the King before but it wasn’t awkward. In fact it felt more natural than anything else to sit there your faces close together as you stared into the pale grey of his eyes. Roan was an incredibly attractive man, a fact you’d been doing your best to ignore for a while now. However, if the world really was going to end once more in a fiery ball of radiation death then you may as well enjoy yourself in the time left.
“What do we do?” you asked him quietly.
“I don’t know” he confessed “I have no answers for this. There are no battles to be fought, no warriors to defeat. How do you fight an ending you can’t see?”
You shook your head placing a hand on his chest flattening your palm over his heart. “I can talk to Clarke and the others. Find out what is actually happening”
“Thank you” he lifted his hands from your waist to frame your face an almost smile hovering around his lips. “I think this is the most polite conversation we’ve ever had”
“And whose fault would that be?”
“From your tone I’m guessing it’s meant to be mine”
“Of course dear it’s always going to be your fault”
Roan shook his head at your teasing, at least for once recognising that you were simply teasing him and not attacking. “Then I apologise most sincerely my lady”
You actually smiled at that “and I thought you were too tired for sarcasm my King?”
Using his grip on your face Roan pulled you closer so his forehead could rest against his own, you could feel his breath on your skin and your whole body was tingling with awareness of how close he was.
“I was wrong” he lips brushed softly over your cheek just off of your mouth. “I’ll never be too tired for you”
“Good answer” you moved your head the fraction to the left that it took to line your mouth up with Roan’s.
The kiss was soft, sweet in its newness and you felt yourself falling into his body allowing him to lead you somewhere you’d never been before. There would be time later for rough touches and angry battles between your bodies for right now though what you both needed was the gentle touch of each other. A balm to soften away the fear and unknowing of what was coming.
Awkward Attraction (Part 4)
Pairing: Roan / Reader
Warnings: Swearing, nothing much else....
AN: I love these two so much, I know they aren’t moving to fast in a relationship but I just love teasing Roan and I think they are getting somewhere at least...
If you want to read the other parts go here::::
Part One Part Two Part Three
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What you really hated about the ground was the weather. The Ark had been a perfectly climate controlled heat that never changed and never varied. Seasons were something you heard about only in Earth Skills classes and the occasional story. You’d never had to worry about the weather, about keeping dry in the rain or warm in the snow. There’d never been sun that would burn you or wind that would whip at your skin and bite into your bones.
It hadn’t taken you long to realise that you really weren’t a cold weather person. You hated the cold with a passion and over the past few days the winter of Polis had really kicked in. You’d woken up only this morning to find ice decorating the panes of your window. That had really managed to put you in a good mood for the morning.
“You’re scowling again” Roan’s voice broke you out of your trance as you looked over your shoulder at the King. “Did the cook try to give you vegetables again? Or wait did the armourer attempt to polish your sword? Or one of the maids change the sheets on your bed?”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you” muttering you pulled the woollen scarf tighter around your neck. Clarke and the others from Skaikru had meant to be arriving any day now and you’d been keeping watch most days from the balcony outside the throne room.
“Doesn’t suit me?” he questioned dragging your attention back once more. “But I learnt from the best”
“If you’re insinuating that I’m sarcastic then I resent that. However, I am the best and I’m glad you’ve recognised that at least”
“And modest”
“Why be modest when it’s the truth”
Roan smiled shaking his head at you. “Why do you wait here? The scouts will inform us when your people are nearby”
For that you had no answer, you knew Roan’s scouts were out there ready to tell you when the Skaikru members were close, it hadn’t been stopping you from watching though.
Giving up on you answering that question Roan moved on. “Why were you scowling?”
“I don’t like the cold” you confessed. For once forgoing the sarcasm to answer him properly. Ever since you had been sick your relationship with Roan had been changing. Less inclined to torment him. You had also not regressed into calling him your Majesty all the time. You had stuck with his name. “This ice and snow. I don’t think I will ever get used to it”
“You do”
“Well you were born to it. Azgeda… ice nation.” You shivered bringing your coat even tighter around your body. “You probably have ice swimming around your veins rather than blood”
Roan smiled at that. “Touchy when you’re cold aren’t you?” his words may have been sarcastic but you found his outer coat suddenly falling over your shoulders as well. It smelt like Roan and you found yourself burying into the folds the fur on the edges ticking at your jaw.
You looked up at him, staring at him for a moment. “Thank you… Roan”
He nodded his head once his own eyes still locked with your own. “You are staying out here still, waiting for them?”
“I miss them” you admitted the words quiet. “I hadn’t realised just how much I was missing them until I learnt they were coming back for the meeting.”
“You don’t like it here in Polis?” he sounded curious and you got the feeling that his question was asking more than it appeared to be on the surface.
“It’s growing on me” you teased with a small smile.
Folding his arms Roan leant back against the wall looking comfortable as anything in the ice weather with nothing but his leather armour. You would never understand it.
“You’re not going back in?”
“You are not”
“Well no” you were planning on waiting until the moment you could see Clarke’s blonde hair and Bellamy’s curls before leaving this balcony. “But don’t you have king type stuff to do?”
“I do”
“So…”
“It can wait. I’ll wait with you”
You were stunned, silent once more as you watched him. Finally you smiled, this time without any kind of sarcasm or even a hint of teasing. Instead you took a step towards him leaning up to kiss his cheek. Roan’s own face reflected surprise instead obviously stunned at your actions.
“Thank you” you turned back around stood next to him as you both watched, waiting for the Skaikru delegation to arrive.
Baby Prince
Pairing: Roan / Reader
Warnings: Nothing horrible just some sweet fluff
Request: Hi! Could you please write an imagine where the reader is Roan's wife and queen of azgeda, she's like Octavia and became a ground because she a grounder at heart and meet roan after she became one, and she pregnant and goes into labor. She gives birth to a baby boy and Roan's all fluffy and proud. Also because Echo actually likes the reader, she really happy to have a new prince to follow and because the reader trust her she makes Echo the head of her son's guard. Echo's shocked but happy, pls!
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Some women glowed in pregnancy, blossomed and managed to carry their babies looking like ethereal pregnancy goddesses. You were not one of those women. Pregnancy hated you and you hated it. You hadn’t gotten used to the shift of your center of gravity and as such tended to knock into things regularly along with the fact that you hadn’t shaken your morning sickness, which definitely wasn’t restricted to just the mornings and you weren’t exactly blooming.
Roan insisted that you were beautiful, however, he was biased, but with the loss of your normal movement and now the fact that you hadn’t seen your feet for more than 4 or 5 months you were utterly fed up of being pregnant.
“Y/N? Are you alright?” Echo asked softly she gone back to speaking in English now the two of you were along. You had learnt Trigedasleng and were fairly fluent but pregnancy brain was slowing your normal IQ down to half its speed and you appreciated her use of English.
“No” you rubbed at the top of the seemingly ginormous baby bump. You’d known something was wrong since early this morning but hadn’t wanted to worry Roan. Had sent him off this morning with a loving kiss and smile.
Something was wrong though, there was a pain in the base of your back and around your stomach that made you think that you were going to get your wish very soon and stop being pregnant.
“Y/N?” Echo tried again coming closer to you and crouching down beside your chair. “What is it? What’s happening?”
“I think…” you hissed as a vicious pain stabbed low in your abdomen. “I think I might be having this baby”
“Shit!” Echo the normally unemotional warrior, in fact the only emotion you’d ever seen on her face was anger, suddenly looked nervous. “Shit what do we do?”
“I have no idea Echo, I’ve never done this before”
“Roan!” she started jumping back up to her feet “I’ll get Roan”
“Get the midwife Echo, the midwife”
Echo turned on one heel and ran from the room screaming in Trigedasleng for a midwife and the king, not necessarily in that order. Her nerves were actually making you smile despite the pain. It was always interesting seeing normally stern and unemotional people lose their calm.
Roan as you’d expected was the first one through the doors. “Y/N, the baby, are you ok?”
“I’m fine” you assured him as he placed his hands on your bump.
The midwife followed him into the room with Echo trailing her every step. “Step back Roan, let me see her”
Roan reluctantly left your side for the midwife to examine you quickly confirming your suspicion that you were indeed in labour and this baby was coming now.
*******
You found yourself up on your feet and being moved back to your rooms. A blur of motion happening around you.
Labour it turned out was as painful as you’d thought it would be, if not more. You’d worried for the past few weeks that somehow this baby had to actually come out. It had amused Roan no end that you were so scared, however right then he didn’t seem amused anymore, horrified by the amount of pain you were in and the guilt that he’d done this to you.
You did exactly as the midwife said, doing the breathing exercises you’d practised and trying desperately not to break Roan’s hand with the force that you were squeezing it.
The other thing they said about pregnancy was that when they placed your baby on your chest after the pain of labour, you forgot it. You forgot the annoyances of pregnancy the horribleness of morning sickness and the pain of labour. All wiped away by the overwhelming love for your child.
“Roan look” you whispered as he sat with his arm around your shoulders. “Look what we did”
“A son” he whispered, eyes torn between looking at the tiny mewling baby and his wife.
The midwife and other people in the room had vanished leaving you alone as a small family for the first time. “He’s so beautiful”
The baby scrunched up his tiny nose at being called beautiful and opened his eyes staring at you with a vivid blue so reminiscent of his fathers.
“Here” carefully you lifted your son off your chest handing him to Roan. He was so small that Roan’s head fit around his head as he gazed down in wonder at his son. The pair of them staring at each other with such rapture that you thought your heart might stop.
“Thank you” Roan whispered raggedly, eyes coming back to yours. “Thank you for being mine, for being my wife. For my son… our son”
Tears brimmed at the corners of your eyes at his words. “You don’t have to thank me” you insisted. “Roan…I love you, you know that”
“I love you as well”
Leaning back against the cushions on your bed you sat for a long time just the three of you, passing the baby between the two of you until you ended up with your son fast asleep on your breast, Roan sat behind you with the pair of you cradled between his thighs.
“I was thinking” you said softly. “I want to ask Echo if she’ll be the head of his guard”
“Echo?” Roan sounded surprised “the woman who would soon as kill your people than look at them”
“She’s my friend. I know it’s surprising but she is. She’d protect our son with her life you know that”
“She would” he agreed. “If she is who you pick then I agree with you”
A giant yawn stretched your jaw as you relaxed back against Roan. His arms went around you both, holding you tight as you allowed yourself to fall into sleep.
*******
It was a few days later, sat on the throne room floor with Roan that Echo appeared looking confused to find her King sat on the floor with you as the baby laid on a mat of bedding wide awake and kicking his tiny legs.
“You summoned me?” she asked curiously.
Smiling you got to your feet. “I had a question to ask you…” you glanced down at Roan who nodded allowing you to ask Echo. “We would like you to lead the prince’s guard”
Echo’s mouth dropped open. “Head…Prince’s Guard…Me?”
You nodded at her. “If you agree Echo Kom Azgeda”
She looked down at Roan “You want me my King?”
“Echo there’s no better fighter in the ice nation army nor anyone who would protect my son better”
She seemingly got hold of herself nodded her head and taking a tight grip on the sword on her hip. “You both honour me. I accept. I’ll guard the Prince with my life”
“Thank you Echo” she remained tight lipped as she nodded once more and left the throne room. You sat back down next to Roan letting yourself lean on his shoulder. Both of you staring at your son, it was something you didn’t think you’d ever get bored of.
You were happy, it was a strange feeling, but you truly were happy. Surrounded by the two people who meant the most to you in the whole world.
Little Changes | Roan x pregnant!Reader
✎ Requested by Anonymous: “Hello there, do you think you could write a Roan x Reader, where Roan knows her and her body perfectly that when she gets pregnant, he notices before she even does please ? That’d be so cute !”
✎ A/N: I’m so sorry it took me so long to write your request: I kept coming to it and trying to write it, but it seemed like I could never come up with something good. I really hope you like this (and that you see it, since it’s been a while since you requested). Also, many thanks to @selldraug for the title!
✎ Fandom: The 1OO. Pairing: Roan x Reader
✎ Warnings: pregnant reader. Maybe fluff?
Word-count: 1258
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Roan had started to notice little things in Y/N’s body, little changes that kept making him think. There was this one thought that kept bugging him: was she pregnant?
Not His Queen (part 6 of 6) | Roan x OC
[GIF not mine]
✎ Requested by @selldraug : “Roan has a lover even if he’s going to get married to Y/N. His future wife doesn’t like this and shit happens”
✎ A/N: aaand it’s over. Sadly, ‘cause I wanted this to be endless, it’s over. These two will most likely have a sort of prequel One Shot (smut + daddy kink, ‘cause you know how Claudia is... haha) - if you like the idea, just let me know :-) Also, I added in more time compared to the show (so that Roan could suffer even more, cheating bastard).
✎ Fandom: The 1OO. Pairing: Roan x Reader/OC
✎ Warnings: angst. Feels. Praimfaya? Nothing more I think
Word-count: 4006
Part one | Part two | Part three | Part four | Part five
Lethe slowly woke up from a dreamless slumber and this time she didn’t have the gentle welcoming sound of the rain. She woke up to pain in her whole body just to find out she hadn’t died. The kid probably had, and in that moment it didn’t even matter, but she was still there, still with him, and she hated it.
She knew she couldn’t stand it anymore, not even for a day or for an hour. Her plan hadn’t exactly gone the way she had wanted it to, but at least Roan was in pain now, she hoped. He should have seen it coming and she hoped he was blaming himself for the loss of his child. He had a whore he could impregnate anyways, so maybe the pain wasn’t even there.
She had failed, she thought, staring at the ceiling of a room she didn’t recognize. At least this time she wasn’t in that damn bed. He could have it until the day he died if he wanted, she didn’t care. He could share it with that Anka woman if he wanted to, it wasn’t her business anymore. She had given up on him when she had vomited after seeing them together.
In that moment Anka didn’t even matter that much. Roan was the one she wanted to stab. That woman had been there for him and Lethe hadn’t, sure, but he was the one at fault now. She wanted him to suffer for his cheating behavior. She wanted him to die inside for what he had done to her and for what he had pushed her to do.
She tried to turn on her side, but the wound on her belly hurt too much when she tried to move and she gave up on that idea.
When she turned her head to the side, though, towards the source of light, she saw Roan asleep in an old armchair and for a moment or two she found herself on the point of surrendering to him once and for all.
No, she told herself, swallowing hard, the pain still stinging like needles everywhere in her body. No, she had to be strong. She had to punish him like he deserved. And yet, it was her fault too. She had committed the mistake of loving him too much, even more than her own life. She had committed the mistake of adoring him like a god, of always bowing down. And, lastly, she had committed the mistake of believing that a marriage would let her win his heart back.
It didn’t matter that he was there with her now - and her heart ached at that thought. He had pushed her to that point.
He can weep all he wants, she kept repeating. She was not going to take him back.
She pushed herself up on her elbows and moved back a little, until the pillows were behind her back and she found herself in an almost sitting position. It hurt like hell, but that was good, in a way. It told her she had partially succeeded in her plan and that was what mattered at the moment.
Lethe had almost come to the resolution of waking him up when his feet moved a little and Roan yawned. She waited a few more seconds before speaking up. “Why do you still keep pretending?”
He frowned. “You’re awake.”
“Never been much of a genius, have you?” she smirked and shook her head. “I want you out of here.”
But Roan didn’t listen to her. He just got up from the armchair and reached the bed before sitting down next to her. His hand tried to get a hold of hers, but she moved it away. And when he tried to rest that same hand on her thigh, she moved so abruptly that she hissed in pain. But of something she was sure: she didn’t want him to touch her after what he had done.
“Come on, Lethe, don’t do this,” he snorted, raising his eyes towards the ceiling.
“You don’t have the right to call me that anymore, your Highness,” she scolded him and slowly moved a few inches away from him, but her whole body hurt too much at that effort and she gave up again.
Roan sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not,” she shook her head, betrayal stinging more than the pain radiating off her wound. “You’re sorry just because I caught you fucking her, not because you were fucking her in the first place. So, no, you’re not sorry.”
She just wanted him out of that room. Why didn’t he understand that?
Roan kept silent for a while and Lethe started to drift into slumber once more.
“The kid,” her husband cleared his voice, still not facing her. “Couldn’t make it.”
“Good,” she nodded, her eyes closed, her heart in pieces.
Maybe, after all, Nia had been right: she was not going to be a mother, not now, not ever. She just wasn’t allowed to, she didn’t have the right. She wasn’t cut for it.
“What got into you?” And finally his hands were gripping at her shoulders, she noticed with some sort of relief, and Roan was struggling against himself, trying not to shake her to not cause more pain.
Lethe smiled, eyes still closed, and what she would call a wave of peace washed over her. “It was part of you,” she spoke and drew in a long breath. “And when I fully recover, I don’t want anything from you anymore.” Her eyes opened to Roan’s frown and she smiled. “What? You thought I’d stay after what you’ve done to me? After the way you’ve treated me? How many men would treat a wife the way you’ve treated me?” She shook her head and a bitter laugh escaped her lips. “I might not be perfect, I agree, but I’ve never thought so little of you, I’ve never had another man when I could have. And in case you didn’t know, this is what love is, what loyalty is. The question now is: do you know what loyalty is? Or were you just taking pleasure from killing me?”
“I don’t love her,” he simply stated, his hands still on her shoulder, but now they weren’t gripping at her bones that hard.
“It doesn’t matter whether you do or not. Or, well, it does to her, unless she was just fucking you for the sake of fucking someone.” Her hands moved to his and pushed them away from her body. “But it doesn’t matter anymore. Whatever we had, whatever lived between the two of us, it’s gone now, it’s dead. And now, if you don’t mind, haihefa*, I’d like you to leave.”
Those had been her last words to him before, a week later, she disappeared into thin air. That morning he had finally found the courage to face her again, to make her love him again, but when he had entered Lexa’s bedroom, his wife wasn’t there anymore. It had just been dawn and no one in the tower had known of her disappearance. Even the guards in the city hadn’t seen her. Roan remembered finding that fact weird, since she had such a fair and light appearance compared to everybody else.
He had been looking for her ever since. At first because he needed a Queen, because Azgeda needed it. But then, slowly, one mistake after another, a tsunami of false steps washed over him and he realized he was now alone: his wife had left him because of what he had done to her and his kid had died because his wife had been too hurt to stand the idea of carrying his heir in her womb. And when that thought hit him like a thousand stab wounds, he felt like suddenly he had nothing left.
Sometimes, when the desperation hit him hard and all he was left with was memories from a fading past, he could swear he saw her walking the streets of Polis, her fair hair moving in the light breeze of the dying day. Her ‘Ai hod you in*’ still haunted him at night, when he found himself sleeping in an armchair for he couldn’t stand the thought of sleeping in the same bed as Anka. And when he had pushed that whore away, when he had threatened to kill her had she come to him again, Lethe’s voice still haunted him. There were times when he swore he could feel her light touch on his skin, her fingers grazing lightly at his arms and back the same way she had done the first time he had taken her.
And every time his men came back with no news, he could feel her hard gaze on him, judging him, blaming him, hating him.
And when Echo came back, that evening, he found himself hoping for something good, for something he could hold on to.
“Did you find her?”
Echo shook her head no, a heavy sigh escaping her lips and mixing with the thick air between them. “Not even a trace.”
Roan sighed in turn, his head falling backwards and hitting the hardwood of the high chair he was sitting in. “I didn’t remember her to be this good at hiding.”
His wife’s sister coughed once before walking up to him and sitting next to him in another chair. “I don’t think she’s hiding.”
“What do you mean?” Roan’s expression turned worried. Had Aletheia died? Had someone else taken her? Now that his greatest fear had come true he found himself weak to the bone.
“What I mean is,” and Echo crossed her legs, exhaustion painted all over her face, “that she left. Theia left for good, Roan, and if she doesn’t want to be found, she won’t be found.”
“What?” The King was shaking his head. He didn’t listen to her, couldn’t listen to her. He just got up from the chair and reached the bed, where his best swords laid in their sheaths.
He hadn’t heard Echo move, and when her hand touched his shoulder, he jolted.
“She left, Roan,” she stated, skin pale from tiredness and restlessness. “She tried to warn you. Damn, she tried to warn me too. She tried to tell us both we were hurting her - maybe me more than you. And we just didn’t listen for we thought we were doing good - you having some fun and I protecting my King. And in the meanwhile we weren’t protecting her, we weren’t loving her like she deserved. You weren’t there last year, so maybe you don’t understand, but I should have.” For the first time ever since they had met, Roan could see tears in Echo’s eyes, and he knew she was going to cry again, once alone. “We failed her - you as a husband and I as a sister. Maybe this is what we deserve, how the gods decided to punish us for what we’ve done. And if she doesn’t want to be found…”
“So what? You’re saying we should give up?” Roan groaned, his grip on the sword he had just raised tightening. “Shouldn’t we make it up to her?”
“We should,” Echo nodded, “but if she doesn’t want to give us the chance to, we won’t go anywhere.”
“I’m not giving up on my wife,” he warned.
“And I’m not giving up on my sister,” Echo smiled, tired. “But sometimes, when you love someone, you should be able to understand when to let go.”
“Stick your philosophies up your ass, Echo,” he groaned again, buckling the belt of the sheath around his waist. “I’m going to look for her and I will bring her back.”
But he didn’t find her. It was his fifth day away from Polis and there was no trace of Aletheia.
Maybe Echo was right, he thought, his back against the coarse bark of a tree and his butt on the hard ground. Maybe his wife didn’t want to be found. Maybe he had fucked up the only good thing in his life for good and now there was no way he could fix his mistakes.
And maybe he had deserved it. He thought she was too good for him ever since he had laid eyes on her and the last year spent away from her had changed him too much, turned him into someone way too different from the man he had once been, from the man she had fallen in love with.
He felt like crying. He, the tough warrior, the King, felt like crying like a damn kid. The tears were already there, burning his eyes like fire, scratching his throat.
How did they get to that point? Was it really because of Anka?
Of course it is because of Anka, a voice whispered inside his head. But she had just been a woman to sleep with, no one important in his life. And yet he hadn’t managed to make his wife understand that.
In that moment he cursed his dick and he cursed himself for he had prefered to take a woman when he had a goddess in his bed.
How stupid had he been?
And now Aletheia was gone and he felt like his throne didn’t mean anything anymore. It was just another chair, his crown was just a pointless weight on his head. And his kid had died because of him, left the world before even seeing it. And Lethe, his Lethe, had tried to kill herself because he had been too stupid, too greedy, too blinded by power and anger and hate. He had sworn his utmost loyalty and love to her and he had failed her, betrayed her, cheated on her, treated her like she was nothing.
And this was what he deserved.
Yet, even if he now saw his mistakes, even if he saw, in his memory, all the signals she had given him, he could not accept it, could not stand it. She should have given him a second chance, should have let him prove himself and his love and his good intentions. She should have stayed, become Queen, ruled side by side with him while she learned how to love him again.
His horse’s muzzle touched his knee a few times before Roan came back to reality and to the rain furiously pouring down from the dark sky.
He let out a desperate scream, awakening the forest around him, and grabbed the horse’s reins, helping himself to his feet. And then, right as he was about to hop onto the animal’s back, he saw her as clear as day. She was standing at the other side of the clearing, wearing the white nightgown he had always seen her wearing at night. She was staring at him, rain dripping down her wet hair, hands resting to her sides. She was barefoot, he noticed just as the horse neighed.
And when she took a few steps back, he sprinted in her direction, but Lethe started to run too, and soon the trees were flying by, a confused stain on either side of him.
He could hear her laugh and suddenly his mind went six years back.
It had been raining that day, too, and they had both just finished training, even if they didn’t train together. She had smiled to him, her training clothes attached to her skin because of the rain, before sprinting off in the direction of the woods, turning a few times to check whether he was following her. And damn, had he followed her!
And just as that day, they both stopped in the middle of the forest. Lethe was panting, the white material of the nightgown sticking to her chest like a second skin, turned almost transparent by the furious rain.
She laughed, still breathing heavily, before shaking her head. “What are you staring at?” Both her words and her voice tone were the same as the ones she had used that day, many years before.
Lethe felt just as real: he could almost see goosebumps on her skin and her wet hair and nightgown moved when the wind rose.
“You,” and suddenly he was back home and the trikru trees weren’t trikru anymore. They were Azgeda and they felt right around him, almost as he belonged there. And just as that day, he approached her, his hands running up and down her arms.
They stared at each other for many minutes, too many for them to count, before Roan let out a chuckle.
And as that day, the words left his lips without him being able to stop them. “Ai hod you in,” and those four words hung in the cold air.
The wind rose again so strong he had to close his eyes to prevent the rain from blinding him. And when he opened them again, Lethe wasn’t there anymore, his hands still resting mid-air right where her arms had been.
She wasn’t there and a stupid ‘ai hod you in’ couldn’t save him now.
He was probably going nuts and there was nothing Echo could say or do to bring him back to sanity. And when he participated in the conclave, he didn’t care if he lived or died anymore. He didn’t care whether Azgeda made it into the bunker or if his people were doomed to die in another Praimfaya. He was ready to go for he had nothing left worthy of fighting for, of dying for.
And when Luna attempted to drown him, he almost gave in, almost let go, almost gave up on his chances of finding her. But then he heard her again, the faint ‘ai hod you in’ she had whispered when he had taken her for the first time, and he knew she was still out there and that he had no better place to die, no better company to leave this world with than her. And so he held his breath, the water of the fountain bringing relief to his skin hurt by the radioactive rain, and wiggled one last time before letting his body go limp.
He was going to find her, no matter what, even if she didn’t want him back: he was going to find her.
When he woke up he found himself under a cloudy sky. He could hear the sea washing the shore in the distance and he jolted up into a sitting position. His skin still prickled and the cool breeze was giving him some relief.
He didn’t remember arriving there, though he remembered jumping onto a horse in the dead of night and fleeing Polis. The rain had stopped thirty minutes or so after leaving the city and he remembered going on the whole night before his memories turned to a confused blur.
“Looks who’s up!”
When Roan heard that exclamation, for a minute or two he thought he was still sleeping, or at least hallucinating. But when he turned, she was right there behind him, wearing the same clothes he had seen her in the last time he saw her.
“What are you staring at?”
“You,” and he had to stop himself from chuckling. “What are you doing here?”
Aletheia shrugged her shoulders and leaned against the trunk of a tree. “I kind of have lived here now for almost three months,” she answered, crossing her arms against her chest. “What were you doing out in the forest?”
Even with dirt everywhere on her skin and clothes, she was still as beautiful as the first time he had seen her back in Azgeda.
“I left,” he sighed and stood up. “Why am I here? How did you find me?”
“Your horse came here before dawn. It had your sword attached to its saddle, so I walked the path backwards until I found you,” she explained, her eyes never leaving his. “You’re free to go now.”
“Another praimfaya is coming,” he warned her, taking a few steps in her direction.
She shrugged. “I know.”
“You do?” Roan sounded so surprised Lethe chuckled.
“I guessed something like that. The rain started to burn like acid and I thought it was not normal.”
“Come with me. There’s a bunker on Becca’s island, we can survive there,” he begged her, getting even closer. Now that they were a few inches apart, he noticed she still smelled like home.
“I’m not going anywhere with you, Roan,” she stated, moving away from the tree. “And if it is my time to go, then I’ll just go. There’s nothing left for me in this world.” And she stared into his eyes with such intensity he had to avert her gaze.
“And then I’m staying.” Roan lifted his head again and stared at her. He wanted to touch her so badly, but forced himself not to. She was real and she was there, and for the time being that was enough.
“No, you’re leaving.”
He shook his head. “The end of the world is coming in a few days, or maybe a few hours. And if you die, I die and I want to do it next to you. I took you as my wife, ‘to protect you and fight besides you. From this night and all nights to come,’ these were the words.”
“I stopped being your wife the exact moment I found you with her, and you stopped being mine since you didn’t want to.”
He shook his head. “I failed you once, and I’m not failing you again. So we fight together or we die together.”
“What makes you think I’m going to let you stay here?” She tilted her head to the side.
“You will have to kill me to get rid of me this time, Aletheia.”
It felt weird, to be called ‘Aletheia’ by him, but she knew they weren’t the same people they had once been. “You’re in time to reach the island and survive,” she finally spoke and Roan grabbed her by the arms like he had many years ago.
“There’s no survival without you,” he retorted, so close she could feel his breath on her lips. “Even if I reach the island and if I live, without you I’m dead anyways.”
“It didn’t look like this when you pushed me to the point I had to leave.”
“We’re humans, we make mistakes. I hurt you, and I’m aware of this, but now I’m here to make it right for the little time we have left. And if there’s a chance you might die without hating me, then it’ll be worth it.”
Lethe stared at him, her old wound on the belly tickling a little. She could see it in his eyes, the honesty, the pain, maybe the love even if she wasn’t sure he had ever been able of loving her after coming back from his banishment.
She sighed. “There’s a bunker here, my parents used to say it was for those who had to protect the island. It’s not far and we don’t have to die in the fire,” she confessed after some minutes. “We will stay in there until it’s all over. There’s a lot of food stacked and I’ve been studying the manuals to make it work ever since I was a kid. Just… just don’t make me regret it, I might not be able to live it.”
He shook his head no. “We’re connected without an end,” he stated. “I can’t live without you.”**
He walked closer to her slowly, giving her time to step back, but she didn’t. He took her face in his hands, smiling softly, and she could see pain in his blue irises. And when his lips collided against hers, she didn’t pull away, because she knew him and still hoped he was the same Roan she had fallen in love with, and there was no turning back from that point.
Haihefa: king
Ai hod you in: I love you
** Don’t be a ‘nasty bitch’ (as Claudia said) like me and think ‘sexually’, it’s their souls.
TAGLIST (if you want to be added/removed just let me know): @selldraug @saibh29@fuckthatfeeling @sylveonfx98 @crazynychick @jaib2-blog @axobrain
Not His Queen (part 5 of 6) | Roan x OC
[GIF not mine]
✎ Requested by @selldraug : “Roan has a lover even if he’s going to get married to Y/N. His future wife doesn’t like this and shit happens”
✎ A/N: the angst this story puts on me, my gosh... Also, this is the second to last chapter. And everything happening was frigging requested by Claudia and I don’t know how she can come up with so many evil things.
✎ Fandom: The 1OO. Pairing: Roan x Reader
✎ Warnings: angst. Cheating + super light mentions of sexual acts. Pain. Self-harm (at the end, like the four/five last paragraphs).
Word-count: 4641
Part one | Part two | Part three | Part four | Part six
A couple of weeks had passed and Aletheia couldn’t say she didn’t like her new married life. Sure, Roan was sometimes busy with him being King and all, but all in all, she was enjoying it. He waited for her to wake up before he left their bed, he cuddled her after sex, he even unbraided her hair when she was particularly lucky.
And when he felt particularly good, they even had sweet sex. He drove her crazy before making her cum, but at least she didn’t wake up the morning after sore like hell, her body covered in bruises and love bites for everybody to see.
He had even stopped sneaking out at night to go to that damn whore and, once more, Lethe had deluded herself into thinking he had finally put a stop to that story, that now she was the only woman in his life.
She had started to hope again, to dream of a better future and to dream of home.
With Nia dead, she even went back to training and she was pleased to notice that she hadn’t forgotten a thing in that year she had spent captive in Azgeda. She still had things to learn and her aim faltered sometimes, but she had always been quick at learning and she was sure she’d be able to fix her little problems in no time.
Echo had taken the duty of teaching her and those hours they spent together tasted like home, like childhood. They had always used to train together as kids and to fight until the night fell and they couldn’t almost see their own faces anymore. And that’s what they still did now.
Sometimes Roan joined them and when he did, Echo always left after a while and Roan always found a way to sneak in her pants and to make her forget about her duties. He always made sure to make her lose her focus on the training and to push it towards what was to come. Lethe didn’t believe in miracles, they belonged to fairy tales and she didn’t believe in fairy tales anymore. But sometimes, when she thought about how nobody had walked up on them having sex yet, she thought that maybe little miracles happen, at times.
And with each passing day, Anka’s name started to fade in her memory and soon - sooner than it was actually good - she started to think that that woman was just a bad dream she had one night.
“Aletheia,” Roan’s voice brought her to the present and her eyes snapped into his direction. “Did you hear what I said?” he asked and only in that moment, she realized he was holding the reins of her horse.
“What are you doing with Atlas?” Her brows furrowed as she tried to take the reins from her husband’s hands.
“Sen in*,” he sighed, taking a hold of her hand to stop her. “I need you to go with the ambassadors for Skaikru, to take them to wherever they live. Keep an eye on them while they gather the medicaments and Clarke’s mother.”
Aletheia stared at him for a while and when she managed to answer, her ‘no’ sounded more like a question. “You have guards for this, why send me? I don’t even like these people, Roan. I might just lose my shit and do some damage to this stupid coalition. Send Echo, she’s better than me at dealing with people.”
Roan’s eyebrows rose and he tried not to laugh. “You might be right about the fact that you don’t like them, but I’m not sure how better Echo is than you.” He pushed her closer to the horse and made her turn so that the Sky People waiting for her wouldn’t be able to catch up what they were saying. “You’re the only person I trust, niron*,” he insisted. “Just go and keep an eye out, and when you come back you tell me everything. I have Lexa to keep calm and Ontari to stop from doing damage. Just go and behave, you will be back with them in no time.”
Lethe wanted to answer back, but she couldn’t find it in herself. The night they got married she had made herself a promise: not to put up a fight with him, to just take him as he was without pushing him beyond his limits for she didn’t want to get hurt again.
“We will stay in bed all day when you’re back,” he promised, his fingers caressing the side of her neck, brushing lightly at one of her love bites. “Just go and be a good girl.”
She snorted and hopped on the horse. “If this is one of your tricks, you’d better get ready ‘cause I’m in no mood to babysit these space monkeys,” she warned him.
Roan chuckled and gripped her ankle for a second before letting her go. “No trick, I promise.”
And even in that moment, she believed him. She didn’t want to think that he was hiding something, that somehow he still had sex with someone else. They were married now, how could he even have eyes for other women? She tried hard to convince herself and even though she didn’t fully manage to do so, she made herself believe in the lies she told herself.
The ride to the caves Skaikru called ‘home’ - or to whatever place they lived in - started off quiet. The boy with curly hair was talking to the other man, someone who could have been her father and was chuckling.
Sickening, she shook her head. She couldn’t find in herself the strength or the motivation to like those people. She should have been grateful since it was thanks to them that Roan was back, but with these Sky People in the coalition, things could just turn into shit in a matter of seconds. Not many people liked them back in Polis, she was sure of this since her sister had ears everywhere, and she was scared by the possibility of some kind of war.
“So,” the man spoke up, turning to look at her on her horse. She was starting to feel uncomfortable, being the only one riding, but she was trying to brush that feeling off her shoulders. “You will be Queen soon if I’m not mistaken. Shouldn’t you be surrounded by guards?”
Lethe snorted - as if she wasn’t able to care for herself! But she didn’t reply. She wasn’t in the mood and she was still pissed at having to babysit grown up kids. If they had managed to land on Earth after leaving space and to survive, there was no need for them to need her to escort them home.
But the two men and Clarke kept staring at her and she sighed. “No, I don’t need guards. And yes, I will be Queen, but this doesn’t mean I need a babysitter.”
No one spoke after those words and the four of them enjoyed the calm of the woods, the trees shielding the sunlight above their heads.
Lethe had started to relax and to slip into an almost trance. It was just something that always happened to her ever since she was a kid: riding her horse, surrounded by peace… it just emptied her mind from all thoughts, calming her. She let the horse’s movements lull her until she almost fell asleep in the saddle.
But then Clarke had to ruin everything. “Why did you want to come with us? It doesn’t seem like you like us.”
Lethe shrugged her shoulders and fixed her posture. “Well, I’m glad I don’t have to fake,” she smirked. “And I didn’t want to come. Roan just made me go with you.”
The younger man, probably Bellamy but she didn’t spend much time trying to learn their names, frowned. “Well, that’s not what Roan told us,” he confessed, stopping in his tracks.
“What do you mean?” Aletheia was starting to feel sick in her stomach again. She made Atlas come to a stop and fought the urge to jump down the horse.
Bellamy shrugged his shoulders just like she had. “He said you were going to accompany us to Arkadia.”
“To what?”
“The place we live in,” the older man specified. “He said you wanted to come along to protect us.”
“Are you lying?” Lethe could feel her heart start to sink again. Had she agreed to do that? She didn’t remember saying ‘yes’ to such a stupid idea. Had Roan lied? Was he still lying to her?
Clarke shook her head. “I was kind of surprised since it’s obvious we make you sick, so we were just wondering.”
“He told you I wanted to come?” She was speechless. How could he lie? To what benefit?
But then something in her mind clicked. He hadn’t sneaked out on her, but he had just waited for the right moment.
She barely heard the three Sky People scream her name behind her while Atlas flew through the forest, the animal’s hooves barely touching the ground. Her head was pounding and she felt like vomiting.
Theia just prayed for it to just be a stupid thought. She had won his heart back, he was hers now and she was his. They had sworn loyalty and love to each other until the end of time. This had to be her mind playing tricks on her.
The horse hadn’t stopped yet when she literally jumped off its running form, landing on the concrete street. It hadn’t been a particularly happy landing and a pebble had opened a little hole in the palm of her right hand, but she didn’t pay much attention to it.
She entered the tower like a fury and pushed her way to the lift.
The way up seemed endless. She tried not to think, to convince herself she was wrong, that he was alone, that that fucking Anka was dead somewhere, but the sickness in her stomach wouldn’t leave and it was spreading to her whole body. Her lungs hurt and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Tears were like stings in her eyes and her throat felt drier than a desert while she couldn’t but swallow air.
When the doors to her floor finally opened, she ran past the guards and down the familiar corridor that led to her bedroom - to their bedroom. If he was with her, Lethe hoped that he hadn’t brought a whore in their bed.
But when Roan’s guards tried to stop her and her brain finally managed to function again, she picked up noises that almost made her throw up.
Lethe closed her eyes for a moment, trying to get in control of her body, but to no avail. She was just too damn tired. She thought it had stopped, that Roan had managed to keep his stupid prick inside his dirty pants. How could she be such a fool? How could she believe him?
When she opened her eyes again, one of the guards had almost managed to grab her arm. But Aletheia could be all but stupid: in a second, the two short swords she had on her back were in her hands and she was ready for some blood.
She was tired of cheating and of stupid guards trying to stop her, to hurt her, to push her behind when she had all the right in the world to be on the front line.
She kicked one of the two men in the stomach before suddenly turning around and piercing the other guard’s throat until the point of the sword clanged against the wall behind him. Lethe wasn’t fast enough: when a hand grabbed her hair from behind and yanked her back, she almost threw up right then and there. Her head smashed against the wall on the other side of the door and she had to shake it a few times before her sight went back to normal.
“The King said no one enters,” the man growled, checking on his friend.
“I am his damn wife,” Aletheia retorted, hissing a little went she took a step forward and her head ached. “I will be your Queen. You can’t keep me out of my room.”
The man didn’t waste time to answer her: he lunged forward and this time Lethe was lucky enough to dodge his fists and to slide to the side. She kicked him behind his left knee and in a blink of an eye, he was kneeling next to her. This time he didn’t have the time to react: the pommel of Lethe’s sword hit hard on his head before the blade fell hard on his neck, cutting it halfway through. Blood was gushing out of the cut and the girl’s face turned red before she could even move away.
Gurgling sounds were slipping out of the guard’s lips and Aletheia didn’t know whether those sounds were real or just a figment of her imagination. She didn’t stop to check: she rose her sword once more and before she could tell it was over, the man’s head fell to the ground and rolled a few inches away from the body before it collapsed in front of her.
A sob escaped her lips for the sounds sneaking out from under the door made her stomach turn in her body.
Did she deserve this? And if she did, what had she done to deserve it?
She picked the head up by its hair and kicked the door open.
“Roan!” she sang and made the head roll inside. Were she in another situation, she’d laugh at her gesture.
She knew she didn’t have to look, but she also wanted to print that image inside her head to stop herself from trusting him ever again.
A brunette girl was riding him, her back and arms covered in black tattoos. The blood in her veins started to boil at the thought that he had never allowed her to ride him like that whore was doing now.
What did she have? Bigger boobs? Longer hair? Was it really because of that that Roan had felt the need to fuck someone else?
The two had stopped what they were doing, but Lethe could still hear their elaborated breaths.
Roan’s hands were still on the girl’s hips and Aletheia thought she was finally standing in presence of that damn whore. Anka’s hands were on his chest, his dick still inside her.
Lethe was ready to kill. Really, she was, and she would have if she didn’t bend in half to vomit her breakfast. Her swords fell to the ground with a clanging sound when Roan suddenly pushed the girl off of him.
She vaguely heard him shuffling, but she was too busy trying to stand on her legs while she straightened her back. When she opened her eyes again, Roan was right in front of her, trying to grab her hands, but she had enough of his shit. She threatened him with one of her swords not to get closer, but he wouldn’t listen and he inevitably got cut. For the first time since they had met, Lethe’s heart was too dead to care.
When Anka burst out laughing and Lethe feared she was going to lose it, she let her sword fall, turned around abruptly and sprinted in the direction from which she had come.
She still felt like vomiting, and she still felt like dying. And she still felt like killing her lying husband and his damn bitch, but as of now, her head hurt too much to even think.
Aletheia almost tripped while getting into the elevator, but she somehow managed to keep her balance. Anka’s laugh kept ringing in her ears, fueling her anger.
This time she reached the main floor in no time, almost as though the elevator knew she was in a hurry and that Roan might have taken the stairs to reach her. And so she didn’t stop when she got out of the building. She ran on trembling legs, her knees threatening to give out, and with her stomach up in her throat she made her way towards the doors of the city and the direction the Sky People had taken.
Where the heck was she going? What would she do?
She felt her own tears threatening to fall from her eyes and to blind her, but she didn’t want to cry for him, not anymore. He had promised and she had caught him with his dick up her cunt and she was not going to forgive him, she was not going to cry for her broken heart and for him.
Then, suddenly, from a far, someone was running towards her and this time Aletheia let the tears stream for she knew it wasn’t him. She didn’t care that Clarke was suddenly clutching her, that she had hated that girl for coming from space.
“Aletheia?” Clarke was calling her but her knees were finally giving out, content to finally have someone to lean on to. As soon as Lethe’s forehead made contact with Clarke’s shoulder, her knees bent and she fell to the ground, eyes rolled back in her head, color gone from her face.
Suddenly, everything had gone black.
It was almost like swimming, like that time when Aletheia and Echo had gone skinny dipping near the southern Azgeda border. It was a year before meeting Roan and they had left home to have some sister time. The lake’s water looked dark even in the sunlight and the two girls hadn’t hesitated and had jumped.
Waking up that day felt almost like coming back to the surface of that lake. The water had felt heavy all around her, almost as though it was more than just water. Her lungs felt the freedom before her eyes had: she took a big gulp of air as she had done those many years ago and then her eyes opened wide on their own accord.
The first thing she felt was the pain in her lungs, slowly spreading to her whole body and to her hammering head. Then, the sense of touch came back and the back of her hands felt furs underneath them.
She could smell the rain and slowly its tapping sound tickled her eardrums. It felt good, she felt at home, but it wasn’t Roan’s home or Nia’s. It was the home she had in that village up in the mountains, where she grew up alongside with Echo after being adopted when she was nine years old. It was the same smell of rain, of earth coming back to life, of dust getting soaked and of wet skin. She could almost feel it on the tip of her tongue, bringing her back in time and space, making her ache for the things she had left behind for a love that was just an illusion.
It also smelled like her first home, on that island near the lighthouse. She still remembered the day she had left it after her parents had been killed: it was raining buckets and she could smell the woods avidly drinking every drop while she reached the mainland.
And then, suddenly, her sight went back to focus and she found herself staring at a well-known ceiling. She jolted up in a sitting position, nausea filling her.
She felt dirty: she could almost feel Roan and Anka’s arousal on her skin and on her clothes and she felt the impulse to vomit.
“Don’t move,” but her ears couldn’t pick up Clarke’s words, too busy replaying her husband and his whore’s moans and grunts. She could almost hear the sound of skin slapping against skin as she stood up, the room spinning around her like a top.
Lethe felt like crying again, like tearing her own skin off her body.
“Calm down, Aletheia!” Clarke insisted, grabbing her by her shoulders and trying to make her sit on the bed again.
But Lethe was weeping and weakly fighting against her. “Not there,” she managed to beg. “Not on that bed.”
Clarke had somehow managed to drag her to sit on a chair because she didn’t remember walking. Kneeling in front of her, her hands clutching at her own, the Sky girl was trying to calm her down, to make her reason.
“What happened?” Aletheia’s head was spinning like the room she was in. She could only remember that scene and herself running away and out of the building.
“You fainted,” Clarke explained. “You’ve been knocked out for a few hours, but you should be okay, even if a little undernourished. We’ve run tests-”
“Tests? What kind of tests?” Theia was starting to stress out like she always did and she yanked her hands away from the girl’s.
Clarke smiled. “To see if you’re sick or something. We didn’t know you were a natblida.”
“You can’t tell anyone, Spacegirl.” The last thing she needed was for more people to know about her blood, that same blood she had spent a lifetime hiding.
“That’s not what concerns us,” the girl smiled again, a toothy smile that creeped Lethe out. “You’re with child.”
For a second or two the world stopped, the rain paralyzed mid-air. Even her heart skipped a beat before those three words hit her like her jailors had a year before. Lethe barely had the time to turn her head to the right to let her insisting nausea out. If she had a soul, Aletheia was now sure she had puked it out.
“I’m sorry, what?” she questioned once she was sure her stomach wouldn’t give up on her again like that, tears streaming down her sweaty cheeks. “Why does life hate me so much?” she mumbled, a sob already forming in the back of her hoarse throat.
Clarke frowned. “What? I told you you’re pregnant, not that you’re dying…”
Lethe’s expression turned mad. “The second option would’ve sounded a lot better to me.”
“What is Roan doing to you?” the girl demanded, but the sounds of commotion coming from outside made both girls’ heads turn.
Before she knew it, Clarke had passed Lethe a dagger and had left to go see what was happening. But Aletheia could imagine it: Roan was throwing a tantrum because he had ‘every right to see my damn wife’.
She patiently waited, a hand resting on her tummy from above her shirt. The weapon in her other hand, an idea was slowly forming in her head, an idea she knew she was not going to regret even if she should.
And then, suddenly, the doors of the bedroom were closed again and Roan was standing right in front of her at the other side of the room.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, getting closer. He looked a little sick, but Lethe knew it was just a play to win her back for she wasn’t able to say ‘no’ to him.
“Don’t get near me,” she warned him, still sitting, the dagger pointing at him. He didn’t stop though, even though he knew how good she was at throwing knives, he didn’t stop. “Was this your idea of cuddling in bed after I got back to my senses? Me sleeping over her cum?”
“Lethe…” Roan sighed and held his hands high, showing her his palms. “I gave you all you wanted. We’re married now, we’re happy. I’m yours. What more do you want?”
How could he not understand it?
How could he not see it?
Was he even the same Roan she had fallen in love with?
“All you gave me was a fucking lie!” she yelled. “And if that’s all you have to offer then I don’t want it. You can give it to her!” Aletheia was doing her best at holding back her tears, but some slipped down her cheeks anyway.
Roan took a step forward and tried to grab her wrist.
“No!” she screamed, her grip on the dagger becoming stronger. “You either understand this or you leave.”
“Look, I am the King,” he pointed out, anger flashing in his eyes. “And I’ll do as I please. I love you, niron, I truly do, but I won’t leave Anka. She was there during my banishment and you weren’t.”
Was he joking? Was he really that dumb? “I don’t know if you listened to me, but I was being tortured! Sorry I couldn’t escape to tend to your fucking dick!”
She didn’t care whether people heard them fighting. She was done, so done with his shit and with everybody’s shit. Even with her own shit. She just wanted it to stop, but everyone felt like keeping that fucking show running.
“What fucking more do you want from me then?” he yelled and his voice ringed so angry that she flinched.
But this time, she was not going to bow down before him, she was not going to wipe the ground on which he walked. “Nothing,” she replied, dagger still between them.
They stared at each other for endless minutes. She was sure he was not going to ask her what had happened. Just like he was not going to give her a valid explanation for his behavior. He was just getting away with it because he was the damn King and all that shit. And she just wanted him to eat all that shit.
“You’re not even going to ask why I fainted?” She cocked her head to the side, lowering the dagger a little. She stared into his eyes and she saw nothing. It was like all he had felt for her once was now gone, swallowed up by that whore’s mouth. “You’re not even interested in knowing that I’m expecting your child?”
Roan’s lips parted in surprise and his hands fell to his sides. For the briefest of moments his eyes sparked up and she saw the Roan she had fallen in love with one last time.
“A kid? My kid?” he stuttered, trying to get closer again.
But she wouldn’t let him nearer. “Last time I checked I didn’t have someone else’s dick up my vagina,” she pointed out, a psychotic smile on her face. “I’m not like you.”
But it was as though he hadn’t heard her words. “We’re having a kid?” His voice trembled in joy and Lethe could see it in his eyes, in the way his back had straightened.
“Are you happy?”
Roan frowned. “Of course I am!” And to prove his words, he kneeled in front of her, grabbed her gently by her hips and kissed her tummy from above the shirt.
“Well, this is good,” she smiled, lifting the hem of her shirt and caressing her belly, her skin almost as fair as her hair. “Because I’m gonna take it away from you.”
And with those words she stood, Roan still paralyzed in his kneeling position. Lethe smiled at him again, one last time, and this once she was happy because it felt like freeing herself from him for good.
Before thinking twice, she had the dagger in the abdomen and Roan was screaming for help while she fell on the ground, her smile still on her lips.
“Crazy bitch,” he groaned, his hands around the dagger.
He didn’t stand up not even when Clarke and Lexa entered the room and hurried him to move, to give them space. He just grabbed Clarke’s wrist and squeezed it tight. “Can you save them?” He tried to hide the worried note of his voice, but couldn’t.
It was all his fault and he should’ve seen it coming.
“I will do my best,” Clarke answered, but ‘her best’ wasn’t enough for Roan. It couldn’t be enough for Roan.
“Please,” he begged, insisting, praying he’d get a chance to love her like she deserved.
Sein in: listen
Niron: love, loved one
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