#robconquest

[robininapineovercoat]

I had a very silly idea and immediately had to write it xD

What if: human, up until then no-plot-involvement Robin is close by when Conquest makes his arrival. She decides to interfere. No one is prepared for the cards she decides to play.

“Stand ready for my arrival, worm.”

Holy shit.

That’s Conquest.

…What a fucking day to be helping out with the cleanup efforts. And at ground zero to what’s about to happen. Goddamn, what sort of insanely bad luck is this?

Yeah, you had a clue that maybe you should be concerned when you spotted Invincible shifting rubble. But it’s been a few weeks since the Invincible War, and he’s been to plenty of cities, not just this one. Tends to flit between the worst effected.

So it was no major warning sign, just a catch at your attention as you worked with the small crew you’d been assigned to. With the world how it is, any work you can get was gratefully taken. And not many have the stomach for uncovering and clearing bodies, despite how good the pay is. Means you also get a roof over your head, instead of the refugee shelter, and-

Should’ve stayed in the damn shelter, huh.

Okay. Chances of dying? Sky high. Could run, but they’ll be levelling the city soon. Big ka-boom.

You don’t have powers, because fuck you that’s why, and there’s no handy dandy helicopter to hop a ride on. You also can’t pilot a helicopter, but that’s besides the point.

Invincible is straightening up, and you vaguely hear Conquest’s dissatisfaction with the lack of, y’know, his namesake. A few of the workers are backing off as they realise something’s up, and one lady tugs at your arm. They don’t know there’s no point in moving. They don’t know you’re all about to die.

Shit.

Alright, then. Hail Mary, full of fucking grace.

“I am Conquest, and I am your last chance of-”

“Did you say your name is Conquest?” you call out, jogging over. “The Conquest?”

Wow, dude is huge. Not helped by the hover he’s rocking, but that is one big beefy guy.

The gauntlet is a duller kind of metal than you thought it’d be, looks solid enough to casually shatter a building just by being dropped on it. The eye that turns to you is - and you hate to be cliche, but c’mon - screaming hardened killer, your sole hope in the faintest hint of bemusement in his expression.

“You’ve heard of me?”

“Of course I have.” You slow and hold a hand over heart to express utmost sincerity. Which you’re capable of. On a good day, probably. “Big fan. Biggest fan, in fact. I wish I could say I’ve followed your career since day one, but I wasn’t so lucky to be born at the start of your meteoric rise-”

“Are you-” Invincible cuts himself off, shifting so he’s partially in front of you and keeping a wary eye on Conquest. “You need to get out of here. You’re in danger.”

You glare at him. “I know, dude.” Yanking a smile back on, you look up at Conquest again. “It’s an honour to have our planet visited by such a legend. I assume you’re here for the takeover? This guy, uh-”

You step forward and pat Invincible’s back. Hard. For a human; this fucker can probably barely feel it. “As you can see, he’s been hard at work. Look how destroyed this city is! So many dead bodies. Ask anyone, and they’ll confirm Invincible is responsible. But it’s a work in progress. It’s his first time - he isn’t experienced like you, y’know? So, could we get an extension?”

Conquest is looking at you like you’re a very odd insect he’s never encountered before. Not great for gauging success, but you have absolutely nothing to lose at this stage.

“I’d also love to pick your brains, if you have a minute,” you add with- okay, maybe a bit more genuine curiosity, come the fuck on. “I know you must be a busy guy, high demand and all, but I have so many questions.”

“Such as?”

Wait, he’s humouring you? Oh. Cool. You drop your hand from Invincible’s tense back and step past him, wishing you had a notepad.

“Okay, what’s the coolest thing you’ve ever fought? And I don’t just mean the toughest battle. What actually shocked you, across all those planets? And who made your gauntlet? What’s it made of? Do you ever get that phantom limb sense, or are you used to it by now? What was it like growing up on Viltrum? Did you have siblings-”

“Enough,” he says, but he doesn’t look pissed as he lowers down until his feet are on the ground. Gooood sign? Like, he’s totally looming over you, but you yet live. Huzzah. “You’re human?”

“As far as I know.”

He hums, then looks over the top of your head at Invincible. You idly hope you’re not about to have something in common with another Robin in a superhero universe. The temptation to go directly for a good fight is pretty fucking obvious.

Ah, fuck it. Go big or go home.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, but no one ever mentioned how lovely your voice is,” you say, and his attention snaps back to you so fast it’s kind of hilarious. “Or how handsome you are. That scar really distinguishes you, I’ve gotta say, and that eye colour…I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Seriously, though. It’s a cool colour. Legit looks gold, and especially noticeably with the wide, startled look.

“What…What are you attempting to-”

You wince. “Was that too forward? Sorry, sorry. I’m a little overwhelmed, is all. Getting to meet the Conquest is very exciting. You must get this constantly, after all the amazing work you’ve done for the Empire. I’ll stop.”

“No.” He pauses, as if he didn’t fully mean to say that. But then he continues, “If there’s…no need for a correction here, I have the time to speak with you.”

…That worked?

Holy shit, that worked.

Wait. He’ll actually answer your questions? Awesome.

“Then I’ll make the most of it. How long do you have? Because I have a lot of questions, and I’m pretty sure I’ll come up with more- Hey, do you mind if we go somewhere we can sit down? I’m not a badass warrior like you; being on my feet all day is killer-”

-

“…What the fuck just happened?”

“You tell me, kid.”

[robininapineovercoat]

I am deeply enchanted by robquest. I showed it to my sister and she loved it too. I cannot believe Robin saved who knows how many lives just by having insane game. Truly her power is unmatched. I hope conquest goes from judging Nolan for being a traitor to the empire to judging him for leaving his human wife behind. Next time they meet he goes on and on about how foolish Nolan is and Nolan, who is mid redemption arc, is all like "you could never understand" only to learn that actually conquest thinks he's brain damaged for willingly insulting his wife. Conquest would never. On all levels except physical he embodies an abused pit bull that got adopted and rehabilitated. He's sitting at Robin's heel and never leaving her side thank you very much. After a certain point he's following her everywhere one step behind cuz he's got separation anxiety. If anyone ever insulted her he might actually bite. If Allen tried to recruit him for the war he'd probably say no because he doesn't want to leave Robin for that long. Or if he did say yes it'd be because he wanted to impress her. Let her see some of his exploits in person. Everyone is treated to the horror that is conquest blatantly showboating around in deadly combat situations. He never goes more than five minutes without checking to see if Robin is still paying attention. All the other viltrumites can't understand how this happened to him until they get to earth and then they all fold just as quick for their own love interests.

Glad you enjoyed it! xD Robin and Conquest can have such a fun dynamic even when Robin isn't also a batshit Viltrumite - since she remains, as always, Robin levels of potential insanity. It's deceptive.

Plus she isn't even "hear me out"-ing here - she's "can you blame me?" while perched on Conquest's shoulder and getting to experience the novelty of being tall. Robin's 'this is the funniest thing to ever happen to me, let's go with it' playing out until 'oh. wow. I love him? I didn't forsee this, what kinda of shitty cassandra am I-'

We've had wife guy Sinister, we absolutely deserve wife guy Conquest. I generally see him doing this weird combo of folding hard in the face of interest/flirtation/lack of fear, but also retaining the fact he's. Y'know, Conquest.

Luckily Robin's both invested in the tragedy of violence and attracted to it, so you get the balancing act of "here's another way to live, and wow isn't hero work a great way to channel violent impulses and feed into the need to be of use/have purpose? And- uh, okay, I guess you can...also find purpose in being Best Boy. That's a choice you can make. No objections on this front, chief." thumbs up.

Robin you strange person.

"Do you not fear my strength? I could kill you before you even realised what was happening."

"Hot. Haha, sorry, I'll take this seriously - I'm pretty confident you won't hurt me, so I'm not worried about that. And you might've noticed my fear response is..."

"Non-existent?"

"Hey, it's there. Just not very active. We've used up our quota for the year, try again later."

Oh no Robin in space. Conquest "this is my wife, I refuse to leave her" and Mark shrugging when Nolan looks to him for some form of explanation because hey, he doesn't know wtf is up either.

Conquest "I wear bright tropical shirts to symbollise my loyalty" and stickers all over his gauntlet. And at least one Robin signature. A very sturdy friendship bracelet.

Robin "I'm ready to witness some war crimes" while dressed like she's going on vacation because if nothing else, she commits to the bit.

[robininapineovercoat]

I find it hilarious that Robin can and will seduce her way through the galaxy in the name of self-preservation (and the sake of getting it on with the hottest people ever). Somewhere out there is a Robin who is Thragg’s wife/mate that drops his ass for Mark almost instantly and cucks that poor Grand Regent.

Side note, that RobConquest? So like, would that end in a complicated messy love triangle or, and hear me out, a poly relationship involving Robin, Conquest and Mark (possibly Eve since she’s probs with Mark like canon)?

Robin's truly a freak of nature because she often has just enough self-preservation to feel the urge to make some form of attempt at saving/improving her life...but not enough to keep from expressing it in the most batshit way possible. Made worse when she legit finds the threat involved attractive, and has little concept of shame.

Lmao Thragg's wife Robin lounging on the throne beside his (because of course she has a throne by then, who do you think she is), chin on her palm and visibly bored, but perks up when Earth/Mark get mentioned.

Robins are fully capable of attachment to other people and can somewhat stabilise through that, depending on circumstances, but she'll usually have at least some draw to Mark (just not necessarily romantic interest). Also, it's funny.

For that snippet AU, some shade of poly is also the funniest option, so you can guess where I'd likely veer xD Conquest over the course of one (1) chat going from ready to destroy Earth, to 'I believe I understand your affinity for these creatures' while heart eyes at Robin.

First time in his life that someone has expressed interest in him, combo'd with awe over his accomplishments but also- his thoughts and opinions? And then also keeps complimenting him? Appearance included?

"So uh, okay, maybe I lied about Invincible taking over Earth. But I did really want to chat with you. Would you...be open to sticking around on Earth?" oh shit there's no way he'll go for this. goodbye cruel world-

"I will consider it." Ten more minutes of conversation pass, and it's turned into Conquest therapy hour with Robin both fascinated and sympathetic, and it's decided, he's staying.

"You deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you are. Say it with me, dude."

"I...deserve to be loved and appreciated for who I am."

"Good boy."

????...❤️

I have no idea how RobMark would happen in this crazy timeline. Maybe he takes it on himself to keep a close watch on Conquest, which means Robin-exposure, and we know how that tends to go.

Robin meanwhile is very confused about why any of this worked even slightly, but it's all going great as far as she's concerned. The lord really is with thee.

[robininapineovercoat]

Novacain Robin x Conquest?

Novaquest is a cute shipname xD Idk if this counts buuut I had fun quickly writing a potential intro!

Alrighty. Time to put your reaction speed to the test.

But first, you put two fingers to your mouth, and wolf-whistle as loud as you can. Operation: get Conquest the fuck out of this populated area, is a go.

“And who might you be?” He turns to look over his shoulder at you, and goddamn, the dude is massive. He makes Mark look like a skinny twink by comparison, but you- don’t look at Mark. Not now (not when you already saw his wide, terrified eyes lock onto you, and heard his broken, “No, no, please.”)

“I’m the only thing on this planet capable of offering you a challenge.” Not the full truth, but enough to keep his attention as you stroll down the shattered road, jumping a piece of rebar.

“That’s a bold claim to make.” His voice is interesting; there’s an amiability to it, even with the layer of threat inherent to him being here at all. Never mind the existing destruction and death. What he’s done to Mark in just a few short minutes.

“Can you back it up?” Conquest asks, and you’re aware of Mark struggling with the tightening grip on his throat.

You don’t act yet. If you were going to, you would’ve attacked before Conquest was aware. Instead, you waited; kept in the mind the risk involved if you underestimated Conquest’s own reaction speed.

“Or will you be yet another disappointment? Because I have to say…” His eyes narrow, both the blinded one and the near-gold of the other. “So far, I’m not impressed.”

“You’ve barely been here five minutes,” you say with a roll of your eyes under your visor. “Have a little patience-” You teleport forward a few meters, perched on a van flipped on its side “-grandpa.”

Okay, he didn’t clock the move instantly. Took a visible second for his gaze to switch to your new location - long enough for you to track. That’s a good sign. Now, you just need him to let go of Mark.

You’re good, but fuck no are you taking the chance of messing up a clean separation. As recently proven, Viltrumites have more resistance to the ol’ slice and dice. Otherwise you’d grab Conquest and end it all in one touch.

The variants responded well to a game of tag. Let’s see if Conquest shares the instinct.

“Catch me if you can.” To add a little encouragement, you teleport over to a street light, press a finger to it, and burst back in for a brief moment in the air above Conquest.

He just ducks the metal before it can find footing in existence within his head, and you rip yourself away before his grasping hand can latch onto your ankle.

Then you’re a hundred feet up, then a thousand, and you know the sound of Viltrumite flight. Trick of the play is staying within sight - (un?)luckily a far stretch with these guys - while varying your position enough to mess with his flight pattern.

No direct travel, and you’re only pausing for long enough between jumps to begin a fall - catch the momentum - change your orientation on the next jump so it throws you forward - switch again on the next, and haha, it’s a fucking great thing you don’t get motion sickness and you’ve been more durable lately, and-

A grinning face with janky teeth in front of you, his fingers grazing your arm.

You smile, and buzzsaw (twist that existence in the space of half a second, milimetres back and forward and over into the fucking Antarctic) right through the first knuckle of three fingers. That much, you can do.

And hey, you won’t kid yourself. His shocked recoil is pretty gratifying, before you’re a mile away and making use of the targetting system the GDA installed in your helmet to find his (incoming) position.

First blood, and you’ve reached the junkyard gathered up on some old blacksite for your personal use. No living being around for miles. Explosives and wire coils and every tool of months of experimenting, improving, discovery.

(They won’t tell Mark where this is. You made Cecil promise. You told him exactly what you’d do if he broke your trust, and who would pay the price.

They really shouldn’t have taken that collar off your neck. But Mark did drive a hard bargain, you guess.)

Now, let’s really test your limits.

[robininapineovercoat]

Robquest has me in a chokehold, i love them so much!

But now i'm thinking about Conquest + Debbie meeting and him being all "i've known Robin 5 minutes but Nolan is insane for leaving you + calling you pet". Just leading into the weirdest friendship and he offers to punch/beat up Nolan for her the next time they meet (implied he will seek him out/galactic roadtrip with Robin).

And if goes the regular superhero route Robin becoming his social media manager, he doesn't understand a thing but it makes her happy and people cheer(?) for him or just not having that high a level of fear (I got to imagine he inspires a bit of fear even after a montage of him rescuing cats or something equally fluffy/harmless). Robin getting him 'official' merch deal that's basically a him themed tropical shirt and him being so happy about that 'cause now they match & Robin is wearing a him themed shirt so it's not just him showing loyalty to her by coping her style but her showing loyalty back by wearing his face(colors, new symbol? whatever).

Going the Robquest+MarkEve poly! route custom matching tropical shirts is all i'm going say.

The 'give characters friends' agenda is very happy with making Conquest and Debbie friends (and the absurdity factor). Probably somehow starting because Cecil - desperately trying to gain some foothold here - suggests that Robin could benefit from talking to Debbie, "given some...similarities in your situations", after Debbie agrees because Mark is determined to monitor wtf is going on here. (it's all a chain reaction of escalation)

And where Robin goes obviously Conquest goes - he's having to reckon in real time with the fact that she is small, delicate, and human, and could be taken out by a "particularly determined goose"

"That- that was a joke, sweetheart, I won't actually die via goose. Unless it's a mutated or possessed one - have those happened yet?" pulls out phone while Conquest frets

Conquest "this bond is a weakness...it's weakening me....I should-" Robin takes his hand while still more focused on her phone, to keep him walking alongside her "....I'll just compensate for her inability to fight, with my superior strength."

(If they make it to RobMark con through the poly loophole, Viltrumite Mark from MB will be nodding along to that thought process)

Superhero route jeeez Robin and the struggle not to suggest Thanos as a hero name. Robin passively mass manipulating public opinion 'for the fun of it' (and also sure, motivated to reduce conflict at the same time by working on his PR, but the real motive is always 'does this spark joy').

custom matching tropical shirts omg that's how you really know they love her.

William "You look like you're all on the same lame bowling team" and immediately invites them out to bowling, because duh. He's gotta see how this goes.

Poly route = a Robin blessed to actually get to be bisexual (instead of just having constant tension with Eve I can't help writing I have no control-).

Huh wait. The plot. Ohhhh.

Robin 'how do I sympathetically express 'yeetus that fetus and come to space with us'?'

[robininapineovercoat]

Me and the very small Conquest lovers community would like to ask if it's there's even a small chance of Robin X Conquest on your heart

I know he is absolutely grandpa coded but considering you could do something about Robin X Nolan or Robin X Debbie

Perhaps...?

Totally fine if not and sorry if this makes u uncomfortable

Not uncomfortable at all, you're very welcome here! xD

Listen, I watched Supernatural at a formative time and since then? Conquest's VA is an instant 'ohh hello' for my brain. Plus he's just a delight in that episode - I thought he was cool in the comic, but this was where the impression stuck.

CO isn't Robin x Conquest in the traditional sense?? Idk I keep resorting to Homestuck quadrants to describe the weirdass situationships involved lol, they semi-fit a form of moirallegience (or...drifting into QPR-ish zone if you wanna get human-coded lol). For me the main thing that matters in any type of dynamic is Intensity - the actual playing out of it/physical response/interpretation of feelings is secondary.

However I did write a lil (mildly) messed up smooch for them for you :D

It’s an impulse, the way a lot of things are for you lately. One crops up? Gotta seize the day, because fuck knows how long the thread of want will last.

It’s your turn, and you did good today. Often takes a couple days after a break to really get into the swing of sparring with Conquest; adjusting to whatever threats you’ve been dealing with recently is a real problem.

Can’t be too soft, not with the Empire’s expectations - but also, stay controlled and don’t obliterate anyone you shouldn’t. And try to find the fun in it, because otherwise, what’s the point?

So you’ve got a few picks for a blood source. The gash in the side of his neck, where you sank your fingers in when he got a hold on you. Various scrapes and slices on his arms and chest, because even if you both usually keep to blunt force, it adds up when you’re blasting apart the landscape.

The spot that catches your attention is the bleeding gap where you knocked a tooth out. You’re very proud of that one, even if it broke your knuckles in the process. Ah, no one appreciates how hard it is to be such a physically weak Viltrumite - you’d totally be easy pickings if you weren’t considered valuable enough to keep alive.

This might test that a bit, but hey. Whims are made to be indulged.

Conquest hasn’t noticed your careful, rational consideration. He’s often less, hmm, overly aware? Yeah. The spars seem to chill him out the most after the first day, massive shoulders loose and no impatient rush for you to finish the freaky little ritual.

You floating closer makes no difference there, other than a mildly expectant tilt of his head as you rise to his eye level.

“Hold still, fruitcake.” Let’s see if he returns to kicking your ass for this - you’re one big aching mess now, but only one of your arms is broken. The other’s more than capable of cupping his cheek as you lean in to kiss him.

Interesting. That’s the word to describe the experience. His lips are rough, like most of his skin you’d wager, but the blood makes them slick and warm as you trace the shape with your tongue. Taste him, and that’s the real hit - visceral familiarity you’d almost believe is tender, if such a thing was possible to Viltrumites.

His surprise isn’t a sound. It’s the change in pressure in the dense air around you, the subtle tension in his cheek. The satisfied grin faltered when you leaned in, even if his lips remained parted.

But he doesn’t move. He lets you lick into the wet wound of the tooth you knocked free, and already a new one is beginning to push through his gums.

You pull back and smile at his narrowed eyes, the low set of his eyebrows. It’d read as angry, if you didn’t know him so oddly well.

“What was the purpose of that?” he asks, and you think most would miss the genuine confusion, the hint of curiosity.

He indulges your eccentricities more than Kregg does. It isn’t like he knows what a kiss even is, given it’s a relatively rare thing across planets. Though he might pick up the crossover of implications with some species, due to your tongue being involved.

Then again, you’ve been exchanging blood for years now. Who fucking knows what baselines he has in mind.

“Got you good, fruitcake,” you say, and it’s always a sweet victory to acknowledge. “Worth celebrating.”