#robert volker

[lazerinth]

[steamheartz]

Steamhearts: Series Complete

Here’s all pieces together! Still very happy with them even if they’re old and the way I draw them has changed.

They look great as a set, and part of me wants to see about making acrylics stands with them. But I’ll probably need to redraw them first.

[linesart]

[idontevenknow7878]

the way steamheart is so glossed over in her own series always pisses me off

she has LITERALLY DIED. SHES HAS BEEN DECLARED DEAD BEFORE. and for what???? all to get some nice words from robert and a “wow great job m8 sry that you died that one time that must’ve been hard” in the finale???????

and that’s just the stuff we know, she worked for the citadel in her teens and i heavily doubt that was a good time.

i get that she’s supposed to be an insert but like you all the shit she’s been through is so looked over???? “oh i feel so sorry for robert his wife died :(“ are we all collectively forgetting that his wife was literally brought back from the dead after being assassinated.

i get the grief robert experienced mustve been HORRIBLE, im not denying that, but the way steamheart has literally died before and barley anyone in the series acknowledges that for more than two minutes never fails to pmo

id like to add that I’m not trying to compare what steamheart and robert have been through, they’ve both been through awful things that neither of them deserved, but it kinda bothers me how everyone in the series always sings roberts praises, but steamheart only gets a couple nice words from robert and a “wow great job #girlboss” from martin.

im really hoping that things are better in szn 2

[briarozee]

EEEEEEAAAAAAAA

[monowritestoomuch]

Part Four: If I was the Lawyer for VA ASMR characters

Notes: At this point I’m not running out of characters LOLLLL—oh, and Scythe, thank you kindly for putting V’s crimes in a neat little list. Real helpful! I’m of the belief that most of Scythe’s characters are going to make an appearance in this series at some point.

Me: *sigh* It cannot get any worse, can it? 😃

Client 1: V (Villain Series - Scythe Audio)

Me: FUCKING WHY—😃💀

[WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK]

Me: Fucks sake I’m not even getting paid—this is a series—and I’m breaking the fourth wall now, isn’t that nice?

Me: Right, Mr. V, you officially have the longest file in my office—well actually that’s Wanderer—and I really hope you never meet. And I’m honestly shocked you finally got caught after all this time—

Me: So kidnapping, arson, blowing up a public building—several actually—civilian damage, murder—first, second and third degree—abandonment, destruction of public property, destruction of personal property, thievery, excessive vulgarity and villainy. 

Me: *slams file shut* I cannot fucking help you—yeah no matter what happens to you, you’ll just kill everyone there. *sigh*

Client 2: Escaped/Walter (Against The World - Escaped Audios)

Me: My brother in ASMR, you were in my fucking office yesterday. 

Me: I told you that you were screwed, royally—what do you mean you can fix things?

Me: Low security prison—that’s still prison, why would you—oh, I see. Yeah no, legally I can’t tell you or persuade you to break out, but I can get you that. 

Me: Fucking hell, you and V would get along like a house on fire—and considering the arson he’s done that’s pretty literal.

Client 3: Robert Volker (Steamhearts - Shining Armor ASMR)

Me: Okay Mr. Volker, the case against you doesnt look too bad. What I’m really concerned about is the several counts of possession illegal explosives and arson, and necromancy—which I’m not really going to get into how illegal that is—and yes I’m aware that you are a scientist—but that doesn’t erase the charges—

Me: What do you mean they murdered your wife?

Client 4: Nem (Cafe Regale - Mage Bunkshelf)

Me: Right Mx. Nem, you haven’t really done too much wrong—not as much as some of my uh—other clients. Only issue you have is that you do not have a legal birth certificate or legal ID, and no record of you being a legal UK citizen. 

Me: This much, we can fix, however it’s generally seen as strange when a fallen angel appears out of no where—and before you ask, yes, I do know. You wouldn’t be the first supernatural person in this office.

[BACK TO CLIENT 3]

Me: Well we have quite the compelling legal case now, Mr. Volker, since murder is—well—incredibly illegal and that is assassination and also the use of child soldiers. 

Me: Why am I smiling? Why, Mr. Volker, they’re about to face the wrath of legal hellfire.

Client 5: Vampire Lord/Baron Reeve? (Vampire Lord Buys You - PebblesASMR)

Me: Right, okay Mr. Fifty Shades of Illegal, you are currently on trial and being sued for human trafficking, assault and battery, kidnapping and clinical vampirism—and that’s a little weird but that’s not the topic—which is more commonly referred to as Renfield’s Syndrome. 

Me: Alright poor man’s mosquito, I get it, you need blood to survive but that does not warrant human trafficking—and that person did not deserve to be your ‘pet’ as you call them, you bovine feeder.

Me: *sigh* I need a vacation—preferably with sunshine.

Client 6: The Atrocity (The Atrocity - Scythe Audios)

Me: *sigh* One more until I get to leave😌—who is the final—💀

Me: . . .

Me: . . .

Me: OH FUCK NO—

[WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK]

Me: Right, so I’m reading your crimes and all I have to say is: you are never getting out of jail—or prison in your case—I’m going to be surprised if you don’t get the death penalty—

Me: Okay so: murder, murder, and more murder, destruction of government and personal property, assault and battery, resisting arrest, more murder—

Me: Oh no I’m not representing you, I’m on prosecution this time—I’m just reading your crimes. You murdered children. You are going to need one hell of a fucking lawyer, and it ain’t me.

———————————————————————

Taglist(ask to be added)🪶: @sombra7567

[vampirecookieeeeee]

Hell yeahhhhhhhh, we may be cooked in this series once again but at least its coming back finallyyyy

[glitchcat0-0]

GUESS WHOS BAAAAACK