#robinney

[bunny-lou]

Bruce: “What’s the happiest place on earth?”

Finney: “The science lab.”

Robin: “The gym.”

Bruce: “Apparently neither of you have ever been in Vance’s arms.”

Finney: “Of course we’ve never been in Vance’s arms, he’s terrifying!”

Robin: “I brushed against him accidentally once and he pulled out a switchblade.”

[bunny-lou]

Robin: “When I was younger, I had a crush on a boy in my class and I didn’t know how to deal with it so I wrote him a letter that just said ‘get out of my school’.”

Finney: “That was you?!”

[bunny-lou]

“You can’t ship these two guys together because it was the 70′s and they wouldn’t be openly gay! There was homophobia! It’s not realistic!!”

If we’re talking about realism, boy oh boy, do I have some bad news for you about girls with psychic dreams and a phone that lets you talk to dead people.

[bunny-lou]

Finney and Bruce continue to play baseball against each other for several years, but they’re friends, both on the field and off the field, and the real rivalry is between their Dumb Ass Boyfriends who are competing to see who is the better cheerleader.

The game starts are the stands are filled with parents and family and students and Robin, who is wearing Finney’s letterman jacket and shouting for his pitcher boyfriend to ‘get their asses out! Send them home crying like babies’ and he’s grabbing Gwen’s pompoms and shaking them around.

On the other side of the stands, Vance is at the fence, shaking it and howling for Bruce to ‘FUCKING DESTROY THEM BABE’ as other people watch his feral-ness in horror.

So at the next game, Finney and Bruce are hiding their faces because now these idiots have painted themselves: Robin has ‘front range’ painted on his face, one word on each cheek, while Vance has worn only his jean vest, no shirt underneath, and painted ‘optometrists’ across his chest.

Bruce and Finney remain friends, small talk before games and genuinely congratulating each other afterwards, discussing their sisters and professional players on the breaks, both of them ignoring their obnoxious boyfriends who are howling for blood.

And it progresses every game and every year until Robin convinces Gwen and Suzie to get the rest of the cheerleaders at Finney’s game and they’re echoing his cries for desolation, just a bunch of junior high girls repeating his chant of ‘wreck their asses! wreck their asses!’ as Robin holds up giant handmade signs every time Finney is pitching, while Vance and his friends wear comically huge glasses to support the North Denver Optometrists, beating on their chests every time Bruce hits a home run.

The worst part about it is that any other baseball game, Vance and Robin act like civilized humans. If Finney is playing against any team who’s not the Optometrists, Robin shows up with some shouts of joy, but mostly talking to Gwen about upcoming horror films. And as long as Bruce isn’t up against the Front Range, Vance is supportive, but bored in the stands with Amy, and constantly asking how much longer until the game is over and they can go play pinball.

[bunny-lou]

Finney: "I made this friendship bracelet for you."

Robin: "I don't really wear jewelry."

Finney: "Oh, okay... You don't have to wear it."

Robin: "No, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off."

[bunny-lou]

Robin and Finney are dating, which is cool. Robin is Finney’s romantic boyfriend, so he gets to hold Finney’s hand and listen to him talk about space and go on dates and stuff. This means Robin is Gwen’s platonic boyfriend, so he has gets to hold Gwen’s bag and listen to her talk about her friends and have her be the third wheel on dates and stuff.

Or, a bunch of head canons with Gwen both ruining and supporting Robin/Finney

Finney patching Robin up after a fight and Robin making comments about how he has the cutest nurse, but Finney is still mad at him for fighting.

Robin arguing that Finney can’t be mad at him, Robin got in the fight for defending Gwen against some kids who said she was weird

Finney pointing out that if Robin was defending Gwen, she is going to be more pissed than he is. Gwen likes to fight her own battles, she doesn’t let other people be her voice.

Robin realizing, oh shit, he’s right, and asking Finney to lie and say Robin got in the fight defending Finney because yeah Gwen is younger and shorter and smaller, but Robin is not prepared to be on her bad side

Robin’s uncle lets him take his truck to the drive ins on weekends, which is dark and secluded and if they see a scary movie, Finney will practically be in his lap the whole time

he arrives at the Blake house to pick up his boyfriend and is shocked and confused for Gwen to climb in the truck beside Finney

Finney is just like ‘Gwen wants to see this movie too, so I invited her’

Robin is a good boyfriend and he does actually like Gwen, so of course he has no problem with it, even if his plans are ruined.

Part way through the movie, Robin slips her some money and tells her to go get some snacks

And Gwen is smart and says ‘why? so you can be alone with my brother and make out?’

And Robin, completely serious, saying ‘yes, so make sure you take your time because you don’t want to see this’

Finney is just a flustered mess

Yeah, Robin is Finney’s boyfriend, but the match to his BFF bracelet belongs to Gwen

Gwen starts dating a boy and swooning over him, so Finney gives his best big brother talk of ‘if you hurt her, I will be very disappointed in you and I will make you feel bad’

And Robin’s like ‘good job, babe, you really scared that dude’

But when Finney’s back is turned, Robin is grabbing the guys shirt and promising to break his teeth if he ever hurts Gwen.

Way more invested in Gwen’s stories about the girls in her class and her bitch teacher and how dumb boys are than Finney is. Finney listens because he loves his sister and wants her to have a safe place to talk, but Robin listens because he loves girl talk and there’s no way Susie actually made out with Bobby while she was dating Jack, omg, what happened after that???

Gwen making up total lies to get out of the house when Robin comes over because she’s a good wingwoman and lets them have alone time

Braid twins as Finney makes dinner for all of them.

Teaching Gwen one on one how to do a round house kick so she can use her fists and rocks and feet

(does the same thing with Finn, but it takes way longer because Robin keeps flirting with him)

Also teaches Gwen how to swear in Spanish after she gets detention for the 12000th time for calling her teacher a fuckwad

Gwen helps Robin plan out dates. She points out the restaurants Finney wants to try and the new rocket launcher he’s been eyeing and the new rom com he hasn’t seen yet and if they go to the park at night, Finney will be able to point out the constellations as they hold hands under the stars

Robin is Gwen’s platonic boyfriend, the end.

Might turn this into a fluffy fic after I’m done with my angsty fic

[bunny-lou]

Robin: “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

Finney: *glares at him*

Robin, backing away: “But not when you’re angry with me.”

[bunny-lou]

Robin: *carrying all the groceries*

Finney: *extends hand to help*

Robin: *Aggressively moves all the groceries to one side to hold Finney’s hand*