Things have been going great between you and Robin. After finally admitting to her that you’ve liked her for a while, she gave you a sweet kiss on the lips and agreed to go out to dinner with you.
One month later, you were official, and you couldn’t be happier.
Robin called you around lunchtime, saying she was held up at work, but that she’d visit your apartment as soon as she was done.
“My apartment?”
“Yeah! I haven’t seen it yet, and I’ve missed you today, a lot,” she said, emphasizing the last few words.
“Oh,” you said quietly, beginning to blush. Your fingers grip the big white phone in your hand, twirling the cord around your other hand.
“Mhm,” she said, smiling. “Alright babe, I’ve got to go, see you later?”
“Alright, see ya, Robin.” You hung up the phone, smiling to yourself.
As promised, Robin showed up an hour after lunch. You were greeted by three fleeting kisses on your lips, a sign that she had missed you very much. “Slow down, soldier. I made lunch!” You gestured to the cute little setup of pasta and breadsticks you had placed on your table.
Robin eyed the table. “How about,” she gave you a kiss. “We eat that later, and eat something different right now,” she whispered on your lips, pressing hers against yours. You kissed her back, beginning to unbutton her light blue top. “Bedroom?” You whispered against her mouth, being silenced by Robin’s lips.
She began to walk backward, hands in your hair as you continued to unbutton her shirt when she was interrupted by a loud screech. Robin pulled away quickly, eyes wide. “What was that?”
“Aww,” you cooed, bending down. “You stepped on Mr. Whiskers’ tail!” You picked up a fluffy white cat, who made a soft meow. Robin frowned as you comforted the cat, stroking his fur. You grinned at Robin. “Tell him you’re sorry.”
“What’s that?” Robin asked blankly.
“It’s a cat.”
“You have a cat?”
“Four of them. Now apologize,” you said playfully, holding out Mr. Whiskers for Robin to hold. She took a step back. “Four?!”
You frowned at her defensiveness. “You’re one to talk, you’ve got five dogs!”
“Yeah! Dogs! Cats are, well they’re gross! And I hate them!”
You gasped, covering Mr. Whiskers’ ears. “Speaking of cats, where are your other three? I don’t see them around,” Robin scanned your apartment.
You set Mr. Whiskers down on the floor. “They’re probably napping on my bed.”
“The one we were just going to have sex on?!” Robin cried.
“Yes! I don’t know why you’re so angry about this, I’m sure your dogs lay on your bed all the time!”
Robin looked down at Mr. Whiskers, and then back at you. “What’s wrong?” You asked.
“You’re a cat person!”
* * *
“She’s a cat person?”
Robin drank a sip of her beer. “Yes. A cat lady,” she sighed, shuddering at her words.
“I don’t see what’s so wrong about this!” Lily interjected, making Ted and Robin turn their heads slowly.
“She’s a cat person!” They said in unison.
“So?!” Lily cried back.
“It’s the cat and dog theory, just like our olive theory,” Marshall explained, nudging Lily’s shoulder.
“But you said you liked olives!” Lily said and Marshall shrugged.
“The point is, she likes cats. The cat and dog theory for dog people is to never fall for a person who likes cats.” Ted said, and Lily rolled her eyes.
“But I am falling for her,” Robin groaned. “So much. I think I love her. Oh god. What am I saying?” Robin put her head down on the table.
“I always knew she wouldn’t like it doggy style,” Barney said, staring up at the ceiling.
“Really? That’s what you’re concerned about?” Robin cried, voice muffled.
“Robin, I think you’re reading too much into this,” Lily put her hand on Robin’s shoulder. “It’s really not that big of a deal.”
“What happened after you said she was a cat person?” Ted asked, and Robin raised her head from the table, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.
“I left.”
“What?” Lily exclaimed.
“You didn’t do it in front of the cats?”
Robin turned to Barney. “Petition to kick Barney out of this conversation.”
Everyone except Barney raised their hands. “I left, okay? It was weird and awkward after I insulted her cats, which she called her ”children“ I don’t know, it was weird.”
“Here’s what I think,” Barney began, but was silenced by Robin’s hand covering his mouth. “I do not want your thoughts on this. I have Ted,” she says simply.
Barney removed her hand, earning a glare from Robin. “Here’s what I think,” he repeated. “I think that the cat and dog theory is wrong.”
“What do you mean?” Robin inquired.
“I mean, every person you’ve ever dated was a dog person, right?”
Robin nodded.
“And where are those relationships now?” Barney grinned, downing the rest of his drink.
“Barney’s right,” Lily said. “And you said you loved her?”
“I don’t know,” Robin said shyly. “Maybe. I think I’ve loved her for a while now. Did any of you know she was a cat person?”
They all shook their heads.
“The point is if you love her, cat person or not.” Lily smiled at Marshall, and then at Robin.
“Alright,” Robin sighed. “I guess I love…a cat person,” she shuddered once again. Ted patted her shoulder reassuringly. “I should go apologize.”
Lily nodded. “Call me after!”
Robin smiled, gathering her purse. “Bye guys.”
* * *
You set down a book hearing a knock from your front door. You assume it’s Robin, and when you open the door, you see that your assumptions are correct.
“Are you here to apologize?” You ask, folding your arms across your chest. Robin nods guiltily and walks inside your apartment.
“Yes,” she grabs your hands after you close the door. “Y/n, I am so sorry for leaving and I was so stupid to insult your cats, I don’t hate them, I’m just more of a dog person-”
“Not to me, to Mr. Whiskers!” You let go of Robin’s hands and pick up your cat from the couch. “You stepped on his tail, remember?”
You grin, holding out the cat for Robin to take. “Oh,” she mutters.
She takes the fluffy cat in her arms awkwardly. “Mr. Whiskers,” she looks the cat in the eyes. “I am so sorry for stepping on your tail.” Mr. Whiskers yawns. “And,” Robin glances at you. “And I’m sorry for leaving your owner.”
“Mother,” you correct.
“I’m sorry for leaving your…mother high and dry and I shouldn’t be saying that to a cat,” she drops Mr. Whiskers on the ground.
You laugh as Mr. Whiskers returns to his spot on the couch, unbothered. You walk up to Robin, looping your arms around her neck. “Apology accepted, Scherbatsky. For Mr. Whiskers at least. You’ll have to make it up to me.”
