Detroit Become Human, but make everyone Markiplier.
I FINALLY watched a Detroit Become Human (not me coming years late into a fandom way past it's peak AGAIN), and I couldn't get the idea of Dark as Hank and Google as Connor out of my head.
I have more DBH and markiplier egos au ideas, so we'll see if I ever draw them.
Google fic
Description: Wilford is struggling and Dark isn’t home to help. Bing suggests a solution that Google finds stupid, but he has no better ones.
Word count: 1,800+
Dark wasn't at the manor
Of all the days he could be busy, it was today.
Granted, Wilford’s issues were never predictable. Nothing about him ever was. Though, Google couldn't help but be frustrated that Wilford just had to have a meltdown while Dark was gone.
Google and Bing had shooed everyone to their rooms after Wilford shot a vase. They could all die. Google and Bing could be fully repaired as long as their personality chips were intact.
Bing came in from making sure everyone was safe in their rooms.
The less formal Android was annoying, but Google had to admit that Bing knew when things were serious and he needed to focus. He was better at the 'emotion' thing, and therefore better at providing the humans comfort.
"Everyone is safe. Eric is panicking, but Yance and Illinois are keeping him company. Other than that, everyone is fine"
Bing paused for a moment before adding, “and besides Wilford”
The pink-mustached man was in the living room, crying. Crying about a falling person. Crying about how he didn't mean to.
Google could tell Bing wanted to comfort the distressed ego, but they both knew it was foolish. Even though they were more durable, things could happen. Repairs could be difficult.
Google was about to tell Bing they should stand watch of Wilford, just in case, when Bing gasped.
It was a little over the top, in Google's opinion, since gasping was extreme inhalation of air and the two didn't breathe, meaning Bing gasped for show. He was always portraying human habits that showed no purpose.
“What?” Google asked flatly.
“Cupcakes!” Bing said.
Google mentally revoked his statement about Bing's ability to be serious as needed.
“Excuse me?”
“ We should make Wilford cupcakes!”
“Bing, I don't think cupcakes will solve Wilford’s trauma response”
“For such a ‘logic’ dude, you’re pretty dumb,” Bing said, looking up some recipes.
Google narrowed his electric blue eyes.
Bing just smiled, “It's simple human stuff. Wilford may be different, but at his core, he's human. Humans who hurt can hurt others. So we make him not hurt by giving him something he likes. Cupcakes, plus Wilford, equals happy Wilford and everyone being okay”
Irritation swelled in Google, “So we’re rewar-”
“ We aren't rewarding anything. We’re comforting a human who hurts. A human who, whether you want to admit or not, you care about. A human whose part of this family, that we have become a part of. We both know I know more about humans than you. “
Bing’s face went almost solemn, pleading, “Trust me, Googs. It's not gonna ‘solve’ his deep-rooting stuff, but I’m sure it will calm him down for now. At least until Dark is back”
Google wanted to be stubborn… but this wasn't the time. Bing was right. He hated it, but he cared about the Ipliers. Wilford was just crying at the moment, but he could become dangerous in just a moment, with no prompt. They had to ensure he went back to a stable state.
“Fine,” Google said, pulling up the first recipe under ‘Cupcakes’
“ Google, you gotta be thoughtful with this. It's not about sweets. It’s about letting him know we care and are here for him. Try strawberry cupcakes”
The irritated bot wanted to argue, but he could see the truth in Bings words, and him being right wasn’t the most important thing at the moment.
Bing got a notification, “You're gonna have to make the cupcakes on your own, bro. I know you hate making humans food, but Yancy and ‘Nois are struggling to calm down Eric.”
Google rolled his eyes, “Fine, whatever. I’ll do it”
Bing punched his arm lightly. A human greeting or term of endearment, Google never understood. Why did humans show affection through violence? He chose not to scold Bing for adopting pointless human customs this time.
“ You’re the best Googs. Message me if you need me, bro” Bing said, before rushing up the stairs
The house was fairly quiet. If you ignored Wilford’s sobs. Google headed into the kitchen, looking for strawberry cupcake recipes on a holographic screen. Bing said he had to be thoughtful. Was just strawberry enough? Was there more he should look for?
He didn’t know. He didn’t understand, still, how a stupid combination of flour, sugar, and other nonsense could fix this, no matter the flavor. The Android found one that looked highly rated that could be done with what was currently in the manor.
1. Prepare for Baking: Preheat the oven to 350°F and prepare a cupcake pan with cupcake liners.
Since he didn’t eat, he often didn’t come into the kitchen. Now that he was standing in the door of the pantry, he saw a desperate need for reorganization. He put that on his Google Tasks app, for later
Bread, cereal, food dye, cans of soups and vegetables, chips…
He finally found the cupcake liners. As he preheated the oven, he also turned up his audio sensors. Although he didn’t like hearing Wilford cry, he was now the only one near. He would have to be aware if anything happened.
2. Combine Dry Ingredients: Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium-sized bowl and set aside.
He hated cooking. He hated doing human tasks. Why should he have to assist if he didn’t need human things?
3. Combine Butter, Sugar and Vanilla: In a large bowl, whisk the melted butter, sugar and vanilla extract together until well combined.
Dark had always respected this logic, so he never gave Google the human tasks. Instead, Google was asked to protect the ipliers. Everyone in the manor had their own jobs to make the household move smoothly, so it annoyed Google that the usual system was knocked out of place, and now to protect, he had to bake.
4. Add Eggs, Sour Cream and Milk: Add the eggs, sour cream and milk one at a time, mixing well after adding each. Adding them one at a time ensures they all incorporate nicely, without giving you a lumpy batter.
The fact that his wants were respected though, did odd things to his thought process. He had always hated living beings and that was that. When he was given as much respect as the others in the house, he started realizing he wasn't only protecting because he was told to.
5. Add Dry Ingredients: Add the dry ingredients and whisk together until combined, but do not over-mix.
It was because he wanted to. It was because he cared. He cared about every being in this house. Even Bing. He’d never admit it out loud, of course. He would never tell them how much he would do for even the stupidest, most illogical people in the house, like the Jims.
6. Stir in Strawberries: Fold in the chopped strawberries gently. You don’t want to beat up your strawberries or over-mix the batter.
Or Wilford. His disregard for facts or logic annoyed Google greatly. When he first met Wilford he made the mistake of trying to understand him. All it did was made him glitch frantically, and lag in between. Wilford was loud, and often annoying.
7. Bake: Fill the cupcake liners a little more than half full and bake for 18-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
He put the tin in the oven.
Wilford was quite a bit to be around, but he treated Google the same as he treated the humans in the house. Google was an Iplier, and that sense of community and belonging made all the difference to him. He wasn’t a hunk of metal to them. Google said he hated humanity and a part of him did… but a part of him longed for it. A part of him loved that the ipliers showed it to him.
He started making buttercream icing for the cupcakes, and his mind went back to why he was doing it.
Bing said it was the thought. It wasn’t the treat itself. Google was starting to understand. Of course, he never sobbed as Wilford was at the moment, but he had a faint sense of despair before. He had sat, wondering if there was more than endless tasks. He had felt there was nothing for him.
Dark worked with him. Dark found a way for him to contribute, but in a way Google was okay with. That meant so much to Google. The thought that Google was worth working with.
He looked down at the icing, noticing he had been on autopilot for most of the process, caught up in his thoughts. The icing looked perfect. A glance in the oven showed that the cupcakes did as well.
Perfect, but not thoughtful. His eyebrows furrowed. He needed something personal. A touch of Wilford. He wandered the kitchen, poking about. He stopped at the dreadfully unorganized pantry and stared at the box of food dye. He hesitated before grabbing it. There were a few small containers of heavy dye inside, all half-empty from multiple projects. Google never understood artificial colors.
He fished out the tiny bottle of red and put up the box. He headed over to the white frosting and dripped a few tiny drops into the bowl. The red was dark and ugly against the gentle off-white icing. He took a spoon and stirred the icing, till it started to go from ugly blood-like splotches to a cotton candy pink.
Wilford liked pink. So the touch was thoughtful, right? He took out the cupcakes and iced them. He knew that he was supposed to let it set, but Wilford’s sobs could turn to violence at any moment.
He created swirls of pink on every cupcake, before putting a few on a plate. Now for the moment of truth.
After a moment of hesitation, he walked into the living room, where Wilford sat in the middle of the floor, staring at the wall in wide-eyed grief and horror of scenes no one else could see.
Google spoke “Wilford?”
The older ego looked over at Google quickly, and Google was unsure if Wilford was going to turn to violence again. It looked like Wilford was unsure too.
Google set the cupcakes on the coffee table, “I just came to give these to you.” He said evenly. He knew showing anything could throw Wilford into a flight or fight response. His monotone nature served him well.
Wilford’s eyes flicked to the cupcakes, and he seemed to grow more aware of what was around him. He got up, and rubbed his eyes, like a toddler who just woke up from a nap.
“Did you make these, Google…?” He slurred out.
Google nodded. “ I di-” Before he could finish, the mustached ego pulled him into a tight hug.
“That’s super thoughtful… thank you.”
Thoughtful. Who knew? A bit of pink dye, a stupid combination of flour, sugar, and other nonsense.
After a moment of consideration, Google hugged him back. “You are welcome, Wilford.”
