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Asking for more isn't a bad thing

Jannik Sinner x fem!reader

Summary: where Jannik is willing to give more to her than her actual boyfriend.

Warnings: fluff, angst, no actual cheating but mention of suspected cheating and fast moving on, toxic boyfriend, implications of emotional cheating from both sides, tension, slow burn, 16+, no actual smut but making out

A little treat because Jannik just won Wimbledon!!!!

Wordcount: 5.2k (It's slowly getting out of hand atp)

Masterlist, ATP Tennis Masterlist

It had always been the bare minimum. Whether it be what she received or expected, it had never been more than necessary and she had come to terms with that. She lived in a nice flat with enough space to move around comfortably. She had a job that left her with enough sleepless nights so that she wouldn't die but still feel productive. She had a boyfriend that brought her flowers on Valentine's Day and maybe even chocolates.

And if she wasn't meant for more, she decided she wouldn't ask for more. Especially when she knew how often he had complained about them spending not as much time together but how he inevitably came to terms with it. It made her come to terms with it as well.

Everything in her life was comfortable.

It came down to days like this. When she was sat on the outsides of the game but was still emersed in it. The ball flying over the net with every hit until one eventually messed up. The anticipation till that point made her feel more than she ever had in her life. The nerves came raddling down her brain as she watched the player she bet on out of fun in her head fall behind. It made the adrenaline pump through her veins when there was hope resurface and a smile spread across her face when that said player won his second or third game.

Standing behind the camera with her hands clasped together in happiness, filming the post game interview before wrapping the tournament up with a dinner or a movie night with one or more of the players.

It had always been like this. The way she dreamed of it to be.

The opportunity of traveling the world reaching out to her with every time a new tournament was waiting somewhere around the globe. And she took it without hesitation. New places and new people pushed away the guilt she felt when coming home.

It wasn't that everything was bad back then, but she was so used to it all that nothing ever felt as good as being away from it. Whether it be the shoes in the hallway or the shows that played on TV, nothing could ever compare to the loud laughter she shared with her friends or the skyline she saw from her hotel bed late at night. Every mattress felt more comfortable than the one in her own bed. Every coffee woke her up better than the one in the coffee shop down the street.

Every face felt more welcoming than the one waiting for her at home. The one that was sprawled all over the bed when she would arrive late at night or on early mornings, leaving no space for her to relax in. The one that left in the mornings with a quick 'good morning' and a kiss goodbye. The one that was too busy attending business dinners to take her out whenever she was home.

It started like a dream. One neither wanted to wake up from. Though slowly it developed into a hasty completion of daily chores they heard about from happy couples on how to be complete.

But it never worked in the way they wanted it to work.

She always felt more complete in times like these. Sitting on the floor of the small balcony, overlooking the quiet nights of Paris. Her notes for her interview of the following day sitting long forgotten in her lap as she stared down at the people sitting in bars and walking along the streets. It had always been that way. She would watch the other's, taking notes on what made them unique and letting the guilt of wasted potential eat her up afterwards.

Convinced that she would never be the one worth looking at.

"What are you doing?" The all too familiar voice called out to her from a balcony away.

Looking up and turning her head, she knew who it was before making out their face. But the mop of red hair helped her confirm the intruder of her self-deconstruction.

Jannik Sinner, the world's number 1 Tennis player was looking down at her with a smile on his face. Leaning over the railing to get a closer look at her as she scrambled up to her feet and mirrored his position.

"Could ask you the same. Shouldn't you already be in bed?" she mused, tilting her head to emphasize the mockery intention. Awaiting his laugh that she knew would come before continuing, "I don't have the privileged of a tight day to day schedule. I actually have to put up with my body if it doesn't want to go to bed."

"Seems like a schedule doesn't prevent my head from being awake," he said back, gesturing to his present form in front of her. The bedside light from his room reflecting through the glass window onto his sweats and sweater.

"A light in the dark, huh?" she asked jokingly, her tone shifting from mockery to banter. A slight change he caught on immediately.

The weight in his shoulders falling along with his head as he laughed. Exhaustion lacing his vocal chords.

"It seems so, yeah."

Silence settled over them. A comfortable, understanding kind. One of those you noticed immediately when walking into a room of trust and affection. It settled over the whole city the longer they looked at each other, smiling like there was nothing else worthy to look at. And for the first time in a while a question of belonging made itself known to her mind. Depicting her life back home and the one she could have with someone that actually seemed to care.

For now though, she only asked, "Are you nervous?"

The words tumbling down before she could think about them. It seemed reckless to any outsider. They were colleagues in a sense, not long trusted friends. But they knew each other long enough for her to notice the way he fidgeted with his fingers the way he always did before a big match.

"A bit," he said, barely audible if she wasn't leaning so close. "I mean, it's always a bit scary thinking about how many people will be watching, especially with this match against Carlos. I don't think I will ever get used to that. The possibility of disappointment."

Nodding her head in understanding, she tried her best to understand. "I feel the same way about work. Pitching ideas that could be shit, having you not enjoy what I make you do for the content. It's not even half as important as your job, but it still feels intimidating."

"As if," he scoffed, shaking his head in disagreement of her words.

And with the way his tone dropped, she was already prepared for the talk about difference in their jobs. How what she was doing was barely considerable as a way of making money since it was something even toddlers could do. But it never came. She wasn't back with him in the end, she had to remind herself of that.

"Nobody would watch us play if it wasn't for the things you make us do for other's entertainment. I'm just chasing a ball like a dog, you're actually doing something worth paying for."

"Says the man living in Monaco," she mused and if it wasn't for the low lights she swore she could've seen a slight blush appear on his face at the teasing.

Falling back into silence without a counter from his side, she looked down at her phone screen. The bright light and colorful background of it engulfing her face in a way he never thought possible. Reflecting in her eyes like stars in the sky and lining her bones with intense shadows. Dark eyes turning blue, invisible skin tinting purple. His heart trying to escape his chest and run towards her. Capturing the moment forever in his mind before she looked at him again, turning the screen off and drowning herself back in shadows.

"It's already past ten," she announced, making him nod in understanding. It was time for them to part ways for the day.

Leaning back, his hands still gripping the railing, he waited for her to say something. Anything that would make their conversation last a moment longer.

"Not too late for a movie," she said.

Jannik jumping to a counter question immediately. "What do think of watching?"

"I don't know. You've got any ideas?" she asked, gathering her utensils from the little table. Holding them close to her chest like a shield. "Maybe you could come over? Calm your nerves, help me pick a movie?"

And he swore he never agreed to anything faster. Nodding his head and pushing out a quick, nonchalant, "sure," before stumbling inside his room and out of it again. Slipping into his bathroom to put on a extra dose of deodorant and fixing his hair.

The knock on her door came mere seconds after she put her stuff down. Walking to the door and letting him in, Jannik looked more out of breath than it would be usual for the two meter walk he had to put up, but she didn't question it. Only apologizing for her messy room and awkwardly kicking her suitcase out of the way, as it laid open with her clothes sticking out in the middle of the room.

"What's like your favorite movie for overwhelming situations? Like, when you're sick or one that reminds you of your childhood," she asked, walking over to the other side of the bed to settle down beside him. Grabbing her laptop from between the covers and starting to dig through the Netflix catalogue.

"I don't know, what's yours?" he said in such a soft voice it made her spine curl.

Eyes widening in surprise at his answer, rather expecting a detailed list of a thought-through male movie list than an 'what's yours?', she quickly went through the list she had in her mind.

"Hold up, I've got a list for this on my letterboxd," she said, opening a new tab to find the list.

"What's letterboxd?" he said it like a word out of a foreign language he only just discovered for a pr-video. Leaning closer to the screen in interest, gaze skipping through the different tasks and lists, his breath fanned down the side of her neck. All kinds of movie posters, most which he didn't recognize, popping up in front of him.

"It's a website where you can rate movies," she explained, "pretty boring actually." Straightening her spine to get the feeling of having him so close out of her head.

"You like movies that much?" Looking up, he didn't expect her face to be as close at it was to his. Eyes flicking down to her lips as she spoke, her own gaze avoiding his as she tried to pick a movie for them.

"I do, yeah. What about a simple pick, Cars?"

Finally looking back at him, she noticed the small grin spreading across his freckled face. The intensity of it all bubbling up in her stomach until she let out a laugh.

"What?" she asked, a slight blush creeping up on her already hot cheeks.

"Nothing," Jannik quickly said, looking back at the movie posters.

"Is it about the movie?" Sitting forward, the laptop fell out of her lap, tumbling down on her legs. Instinctively he reached for it, grabbing a hold of it before she could and settling on his own spread out legs.

"No, no, I like the movie. It's not about the movie." Tapping through her tabs and apps like second nature, he selected the movie before she could protest. Knowing how she could get when doubts about the slightest situation came up in her mind. "You just looked really cute when you were so focused on picking the right one."

"Did I pick the right one?" she asked just to make sure.

"I don't think you could pick a bad movie."

Before she could imply any further complications, the movie started. Both settling into the comfort of kids entertainment, falling back in time for a while, pretending like nothing besides the story mattered.

The hours went on and with every tick of the clock over their heads, her head fell further. Eyelids closing off with her mind. The pillow under her head becoming his shoulder. The blanket over her body being pulled up by his hands in a gentle motion, trying not to wake her while he sunk deeper into the mattress himself. Closing the laptop and closing his eyes. Shutting off the light and letting the darkness encapsulate both of them.

Dreams taking over a dream reality.

When morning came and the sun brightened the sky, the busy streets sounded from beneath the balcony. The window still open wide, letting the noise in without a barrier. People were shouting at each other, horns were aimed at other cars. The music from another room drifted into hers while she drifted further from her dreams and back into reality.

Her face was pressed into the soft cotton of his sweater, leaving her breath to be sucked into the fabric. Moving through it down to his skin, landing right above his heart.

Jannik's eyes snapped open, his fingers crinkling into the blanket around her waist. Holding the sheets to stay on the mattress and not float into delusion.

This couldn't be. He knew of her boyfriend, having met him a few times when he would still visit her on her work trips at the beginning of their relationship. Now he was a mere mention on the side if someone asked. A 'yeah he's fine' was all he knew about him now. It probably was all that she knew as well.

Slowly, Jannik let his eyes travel down to her peaceful frame. Admiring the way the sun caught every detail in it's hurry. Making all his favourite features seem like golden accessories to her soul.

With time passing by, the thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone. This wasn’t what they should do. This wasn’t how she should wake up.

With delicate fingers, Jannik lifted her head from his chest, her steady breathing brushing along his fingertips, making him stop for a second and reconsider, but his mind was already made up. Slipping from under the covers, he put his pillow under her head. Watching her arms tighten around it, her nose pressing further into the smell of it. And just for a second he let himself believe that she would have done the same if he moved with her still on top of him.

But that thought quickly passed when he closed the door of her hotel room behind him, lingering a few seconds before hearing footsteps echo in the hallway. They were too quick for him to not draw any attention on himself in time.

Frozen in place, he watched Carlos round the corner. A sick smile spreading across the Spaniards face as he caught sight of his opponent in front of the girl's door.

"Good night sleep before the match tomorrow?" He mused, cocking his head to the side. Not stopping to wait for him but slowing his step so that Jannik could catch up with him.

"It's not- Nothing happened," he quickly defended himself. Pushing his hands into his pockets, watching his feet as they stepped in front of one another like he had to watch them so they wouldn’t mess up.

"I never said that." Carlos smirked again, patting his shoulder as he left the red head standing in the middle of the hallway.

Glancing over his shoulder, back at the room he just escaped from, Jannik couldn’t stop the weird sensation passing through his chest. Clamping his ribs together and squeezing his skin in between them.

The rest of the day passed in silence. They were both in their respective worlds, neither accidentally running into the other by coincidence. Jannik avoided her at dinner and when she stepped out onto the balcony again that night, the light in his room was on but his door wasn’t open. He didn’t plan on focusing on anything other than the match.

She noticed that when she sat in the grandstands the following day. Fan in her hand while she watched him walk out on court. Waving like he always did, but his expression was more serious, like he was already two sets into the game.

It started out well, the first two sets were his. The third one wasn't and the fourth one could've been. Until the title was out of his sight and held by Carlos.

With his head in his hands, he tried his best to not let the devastation show. Biting his lip to bite back tears. Squeezing the skin around his eyes to keep them at bay. Taking deep breaths in between sentences when he congratulated Carlos and his team so his voice wouldn't be shaking too much. But when, on his walk out, his eyes found hers - her hands clasped together over her mouth but the comforting smile on her lips still visible - he had never walked off court faster. Taking the whole candy jar for the players with him.

She'd watched it happen. The mistakes, the devastation, the break-point. His breaking point. The moment the shimmer of hope left his eyes completely and his shoulders sacked his entire body down. His forehands got sloppier while Carlos' only got sharper. Turning a 5-3 into a 5-7. And lastly into a 2-3.

It felt like a heavier loss after Rome. The suspension. The number that stood in front of his name. Number 1. It would just be a matter of time before he'd fall down the ladder again that he was holding on to for dear life at the moment.

Hours passed before she felt calmed down enough to look at her phone again.

25 missed calls.

15 new messages.

Frowning at her phone screen, she went over the texts first. All incoherent sentences with typos in them that got worse over time.

'Saw you on TV'

'Seems to be the ofly timme U see ye noe'

'You look like ye klie him wed more thn me'

'why dent ypu just fuck him'

'Ye probably alredejy do'

'I don't even fckin care'

'Do what ye wfjn'

'I dotn cfre anymfew'

And it didn't face her as hard as she thought it would. She knew it was coming. Sooner or later. It was inevitable with them. It was predictable. She had imagined it happening many times before, when they were close to breaking. Usually, in her mind, it would be a heated discussion with insults thrown or a quiet confession that neither felt anything anymore. But this was spot on. This was more like them. A plain stream of texts with no other emotions than his drunk insults. They were distant and they were aware of it.

'I'm gonna be back on Thursday. You can take your stuff with you tomorrow, if there even still is something you own at my place.'

'And leave the key in the mailbox after you locked the apartment.'

Shutting off her phone again, she threw her body on top of the duvet that still faintly smelled like Jannik from the night before. Memories rushing back to her as she took it in. The way she felt how she fell asleep on top of him and how she woke up on her own. How his eyes avoided her till the very last second before he disappeared. She hadn't seen him since, nobody had. She heard the door to his hotel room close rather harshly as she sat outside on the balcony but no light came on.

Staring at the wall that separated them, she could only imagine what he was going through. Making a picture up in her mind, sensing the worst outcome in them but pushing it away as soon as it came. Instead she saw him laying in bed, head stuffed into his pillow, letting all the emotions run down his face and into the fabric.

Her heart wrenched at the unrecognizable figure she imagined. She had never seen him as broken as he looked back on court, with every pair of eyes fixed on him, just waiting for his downfall from the calm persona they perceived him with.

Changing from the outfit she still had on into comfortable clothes, she made her way through the hallway over to his door. Waiting outside for a few seconds, overthinking everything that could go wrong, before softly knocking on the door. No answer came, no little, tired footsteps. And she understood, she really did. But she needed to know that he was alright. She needed to see him with her own eyes before she could fall asleep.

Taking her phone out, she ignored the heaviness of the text that she received hours ago and only answered now. Typing a soft, 'Jan, please let me in' before leaning against the wall next to his door. Inhaling deeply as she watched her screen.

He didn't read it but a few seconds after the door opened. Just a little bit, enough for their eyes to meet before she pushed it further open to fall into his chest. Making him stumble back a few steps as he closed the door again, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and burying his head into her hair.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled with a shaky voice as he tried to push her away but she only clung to him tighter.

"Don't be. You played amazing today, no matter the result." Looking up at him she could see the hesitation clearly displayed in his eyes. This wasn't what he was talking about.

"You still have a boyfriend," he whispered, his voice breaking as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Not anymore," she said, shaking her head as she spoke.

Her words made his head snap up, his eyes widening in realization. Yesterday someone mentioned him still and she answered with the same tone as always. What had happened in the last 24 hours?

"Shit. I'm sorry," he said, his voice still quiet but not as uncomfortable anymore. His fingers were twitching as she sat down next to him.

"Don't be," she repeated herself again. Smiling softly at him. "It was foreseeable."

"You don't seem too sad about it," Jannik noticed, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear as it fell into her face.

"As I said, it was predictable. We haven't talked properly in a month even when I was home. It was just a matter of time before one of us said what everyone around us saw."

"You two didn't fit anyway," he commented absentmindedly, fidgeting with his fingers. Unable to look at her now that he had a chance of winning still.

"I know," she agreed. "But it was nice being able to say that I had someone. Even when I was stuck in misery."

"You'd rather be miserable than lonely?" It surprised him, not that he couldn't have guessed it, but having it actually confirmed made his chest churn. How could someone so full of life and charming be clinging to the slightest bits of attention?

"If I had to chose than yes." She nodded falling back on his mattress. Intertwining her hands over her chest, staring at the ceiling as he was staring at her. "But I felt less lonely with you around. All of you - the whole tour, I mean. That's why I love traveling all over the world even when I barely get any good sleep. I think it's worth it."

"What about-" Jannik cleared his throat, taking a deep breath and looking up at the ceiling before he continued speaking his thought aloud. "What about just me? Do you feel better when you're just around me? No one else."

"I always feel good when I'm with you."

Laying down next to her, they were face to face. Eyes traveling over the other's face as their breaths got entangled in each other. Pulling their bodies closer until Jannik pushed himself up on his elbow, leaning over her. Their faces inches apart as he stared at her lips like they were the trophy he wanted to claim by the end of the night.

Letting her hand travel to the hem of his shirt, she left her eyes fixated on it. Twirling the fabric in between her fingers before moving them to his skin. Tapping little rhythms on his chest and drawing uncertain figures as she felt his muscles tense under her touch. The rapid beating of his heart etching through her nerve system and mimicking it with her own.

"We're only gonna see each other again in Wimbledon," she whispered, not feeling the need to speak louder than she had to. He would find a way to understand her even if she would lose her voice.

"You're not coming to Halle?"

It's where she was last year, he assumed she'd be there again this year.

Shaking her head, she let her hand lay flat out on his waist. His muscles relaxing at the warmth of her palm. Rubbing her thumb over his skin in comfort, she bit back a grin as Jannik let his finger move over her cheek, down her jaw and letting his hand rest on the side of her neck. Feeling her pulse radiating through his palm.

"I was assigned for Queens this time, since I already have other stuff planned in England," she explained, making him nod in understanding even when he was clueless as to what other plans she could have. "I'm also not gonna make the media days before Monday."

"What have you got planned?"

"Gonna go to Glastonbury the weekend before it starts." Now she let the grin spread across her face in excitement. "And I've got ticket for Oasis opening night so I hope you guys don't play too long."

"If I even get that far." The bitter tone in his voice made her frown. Looking away from her gaze, watching the white bedsheets with a wide look in his eyes. Memories of the final he just played falling back into his memories.

"You will," she assured him, moving his chin back towards her. His jaw flexing as her fingertips hit it. But it was gentle, not forceful. If he wanted to pull away, she still let him. He didn't had to look at her, she told him that she wouldn't mind if he didn't. But he wanted to. Now that he had her near, he never wanted to let her go any further again. "I know that you will, because you are fucking incredible. And I don't just say this so that you give me better answers on media day."

Closing his eyes and letting out a small laugh, she smiled with him. Sucking her lip between her teeth, a proud feeling flashed through her body as his shoulders lost the tension that still lingered in them until now. The last drops of exhaustion falling into his system and letting his body fall on top of her without any second thoughts crashing between them. Burying his head in her chest and breathing in deeply. Sighing in contempt when her hand brushed through his hair, massaging his scalp as she let him relax into her body.

Letting her head fall back into the mattress and closing her eyes as she felt his breath hit her skin. Embracing the feeling of another one's body close to her in a way she had been longing for for so long. Feeling like the luckiest person in the world that it wasn't just someone. It was him. The guy she knew she could trust with every little one of her secrets who wouldn't judge her for any of them. The guy who listened to her ramble on for hours about some topic he wasn't interested in other wise. She could only imagine what would it be like to have him as more of a friend.

"You really are that good to win it."

"What if I'm not?"

"You are. Trust me."

Angling his head up to look at her, his chin rested on her collarbone. Both his hands moving up and down the sides of her ribs. His thumbs rubbing over her skin. Tracing her sides and the outlines of her breasts.

"This is nice," Jannik commented, loosening the muscles in his neck. His head falling to the side, lulling on her shoulder. His lips moving up to her jaw leaving a slow trail of kisses over it. He could feel her chest moving up but not down under his palms as soon as his lips met her skin. The breath she took now stuck in her lungs. Only exiting once he left the proximity of her neck and moved his head above her own. His breath fanning down her skin. Waiting for a conformation that he wasn't reading the room wrong and just made a total fool of himself by taking the risk.

"It is." Her voice barely a breathy tone as she spoke. Tucking his head closer to her own by the collar of his shirt. His body moving with her movement, letting her lead the way and define the pace. "It's really nice."

Their faces were inches apart, breaths tangled up in one another as Jannik's knee moved up between her legs. Pushing his body close enough to feel their lips touching but not kissing yet.

Halting his movement with a hand on his throat, she blinked up at him. Chest heaving as she pushed herself out of her dream-like state of mind. "If we do this, I just- I want you to know that if this should go into a direction of nothing more than tonight, I don't want it. I don't want any more complications than I had before, no longing for someone I know I could have but they don't want it in the way I do."

"You want more than what you had," he declared for her. Watching as she sucked her upper lip between her teeth. "You deserve more. By far."

"I just want someone who cares. That's not a lot to ask for, is it?"

"It's not." Jannik shook his head again, their noses bumping together in the movement. Smiles gracing both their lips again. "Let me care. Let me do more."

He could see the hesitation in her eyes, searching in his words for any form of doubt. Brushing the curls from his forehead out of her sight before finally pulling his face down to meet hers. Both her hands holding his face as their lips moved together. His tongue darting between her lips.

"You promise?" she panted against his lips, pulling back for a second to catch her breath and ask her question.

Nodding his head frantically, Jannik went back to pushing his lips down on her own, mumbling against them as he kissed her, "I promise."

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