Older Alex/Bast. Jak/Mike. Aaron/Tam Robyn/Charley
Send me a ship and I’ll tell you…
Which one sexts like a straight white boy?
Which one cried during a fucking disney movie?
Who put a goddamned fork in the microwave?
Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who” thing?
Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?
Who had that embarrassing Reality TV marathon?
Who laughs more during sex?
These are RP/Original fic “fandoms.”
Older Alex/Bast (Older being that Alex is 51 & Bast is 50)
1. Alex does. Bast has been sexting for a while, so he’s pretty suave at it. Alex isn’t always ‘up with the times’, and he still has trouble setting the wallpaper on his new smartphone.
2. Bast. Though he hasn’t always cried around Alex during the Disney movies. There were one or two he cried during with Zach. And it’s not one specific movie; it’s several.
3. Alex. Hands down, it was Alex. He shouldn’t be allowed into the kitchen unless he’s offering to wash dishes.
4. They’ve both done this to each other. Then again, when they were younger, it was Alex blindfolding Bast, but then there was no guessing.
5. When they were younger, it was Bast because he’d get cold more often. Now that they’re older and Alex has had that minor heart attack, his circulation is more off kilter and he gets cold more often.
6. Alex. And it’s not any particular one. He watches all the trashier, drama-filled reality shows while Bast just watches all the cooking and home design shows.
7. Bast. He’s much more carefree during sex.
8. It used to always be Bast, but now that they’re older and back together, they take turns.
Jak/Mike (age difference: Jak - 18, Mike - 35)
1. Neither of them. With MIke’s experience with words because he’s a writer and Jak’s experience with sex because he was a former rent boy, they sext like award-winning smut writers. Their sexts could be turned into published erotica if they wanted.
2. Jak. Though he doesn’t really admit it.
3. It was Jak, and he freaked out, but he didn’t turn it on. He just accidentally left it in there then pulled it back out and and and...don’t tell Mike, okay?
4. Jak does this to Mike a lot, especially when Mike’s been sitting for too long, writing.
5. Hands down, this is Jak. He’s lived on the street for so long and been in shitty weather that sometimes, he still gets cold too easy, and Mike is always so warm.
6. Mike. He’s got the most time to be stuck at home during the day since he’s a writer and Jak’s usually away at the gallery. So Mike gets hooked on different shows during the day. Thankfully, it’s usually the cooking shows or the home improvement shows, so they’re not embarrassing ones. But there was that six month period when he couldn’t stop watching The View.
7. Mike laughs more during sex, but that was because when Jak laughed during sex prior to being with Mike, he was usually slapped around by whatever John he was with. He’s relaxing a lot more and realizing that Mike won’t hurt him like that, so he’s starting to laugh a little, esp when Mike tickles him.
8. Jak is almost always the little spoon
Aaron/Tam (from Tea with Aliens...not our dog and cat)
1. Aaron sexts like a straight white guy. First off, he’s white and he’s a guy, though he’s hardly straight. In fact, he’s definitely...pansexual. They’re all pretty sure he’s fucked aliens (and later, when his sixteen-year-old son shows up, they KNOW he’s fucked aliens). Tam is much more eloquent, and he’s been known to prove he’s a literary badass by sexting in Shakespearean language.
2. Tam. Tam’s definitely cried at Disney movies.
3. Either one of them could’ve done it, but neither will admit it because they don’t want Marla to kick their asses for it.
4. Tam. Tam likes to surprise Aaron with all sorts of cutesy romantic silly relationship traditions that he’s never been able to do before (and most, it turns out, Aaron’s never experienced before because of prison and his tomcat lifestyle post-prison).
5. Surprisingly, this is Aaron. Tam tends to go to bed and curl up a little sooner than he does, so he’s already toasty warm by the time Aaron drags his porn-watching ass to bed, so his hands and feet are cold.
6. Aaron. He got hooked on several reality shows while in prison and that’s what the guards wanted on. Sometimes, if he’s got too much time on his hands at home or at Spectre HQ, he’ll put one on and get lost in it.
7. Aaron laughs way more during sex. Other than prison (duh), he’s had a wilder, more carefree sex life, so he knows how to relax and laugh (and not assume that laughter means something insulting). Tam’s still working on that.
8. Most of the time, Tam is the little spoon, but if he stays up late with papers, he’ll curl in behind Aaron and big spoon him.
1. Charley. He’s smart and he’s articulate, but he’s a werewolf, and he gets horny at the drop of a fucking hat, so when he’s aroused, the last thing he wants to do is try to carefully type sexts to Robyn. In fact, by the point that he’s read all the hot texts from Robyn, all he wants to do is chew his phone and hump the pillows.
2. Charley’s definitely the weeper at Disney movies, and he doesn’t even care who knows it.
3. Robyn’s become so unaccustomed to eating (except when he’s with Charley) that he sometimes forgets that he’s put silverware into the microwave with whatever he’s heating up.
4. Robyn does this to Charley a lot, even though with either one of them it no longer matters since they both can pick up each other’s scents, and Robyn can read Charley’s thoughts.
5. Robyn. Charley is a heater, even in non-furry form, so Robyn, whose circulation is much different now that he’s a vampire, is the one with the cold hands and feet pressed to his warm boyfriend.
6. Charley doesn’t have time to get hooked on reality TV, but Robyn does. And now that Robyn’s taking a break from college, he’s found himself staring at several annoying reality shows while Charley’s at work.
7. They both laugh equally during sex. Charley always has, but Robyn is definitely relaxed and groovy enough to laugh with Charley while they have sex.
8. Both. They both big and little spoon each other.