#rom speaks

[thesituationship]

Lie to your stupid idiot dupe about how he's the most talented special important boy. Tell him he's better than everyone else, that he's gonna change the world. Tell him that he's the only one that truly understands you, that he's the only one that can save you. Lie about how you'll rule the universe together, that he'll never be alone again.

Lie until you realise the horror of what you've done, of what you've made yourself want. Lie because you can't stop yourself, because you can't stop thinking about him. Lie until you've chained yourself to him, until you're completely and utterly reliant upon him. Lie until you aren't lying anymore. Lie until you no longer have any choice but to make it true.

Anyways I'm very normal about this quote

[antisocialxconstruct]

I've meant to write this a few times and kept forgetting, but was reminded recently for noooo particular reason

Anyway if anyone is looking for a new novel that is deeply weird, often quite visceral and unsettling, while still managing to weave a surprising amount of humor and warmth into a story about war against a world-ending cosmic horror-- I highly recommend There Is No Antimemetics Division by QNTM

This book started life as a web novel set in the SCP universe, and if you're at all familiar with that format you will recognize it immediately, all the author really did was ctrl+F+replace some key names and terms lol (well he also added and rewrote quite a bit, but I mean in terms of filing off the serial numbers). But it's also in my opinion an extremely well structured story that uses those conventions to do something pretty unique. The "inconceivable horror" feels genuinely alien and difficult to comprehend while still being present and immediate enough to be scary. The two leading characters are a couple in their fifties which makes all their competence and world-weariness feel refreshingly earned.

idk I don't really Do book reviews (although maybe I'll start?? I am trying very hard to read more this year) but this one was really fun and new to me and I want more people to read it :V

[romunism]

Hi! For the Star Trek ask reblog game: 9, 10

Thank you so much for sending an ask @theres-whump-in-that-nebula! I love your name btw xD

9. Is there something that suprised you when you were watching Star Trek? 😮

I've been watching Star Trek since I was a kid, so I don't really remember being surprised at the content or anything, only enjoying it xD

I guess I was surprised how hard it was to get through the start of TNG. So many people love it, and I've loved random episodes later on that I've seen on TV, but trying to watch every episode right from the beginning was/is weirdly hard? Season 1 just doesn't vibe with me as much as the other treks do for some reason xD

Also surprised but loved the swearing in Lower Decks, it can be really funny! You know if they'd have let other shows swear, Bones or Janeway would have!! 😂

10. Do you read fanfiction? If so what are your faves?

I do read fanfics for other fandoms, but somehow I haven't really delved into star trek ones yet! 😳 Scandalous, I know! 😂 If anyone has any good recommendations, let me know! 👀 I love AUs, ships, drama, hurt, angst, fluff, anything really!

[thesituationship]

Never make me choose between toxic and fluffy Billford. It's both, it's always both. It's not Billford unless it's both.

[thesituationship]

I am STILL thinking about control and autonomy in gravity falls and it's getting bad like

Multiple people try to take away Ford's autonomy. They try to influence him, lie to him, make decisions for him. And everyone eats shit for it. Stan is kicked out onto the street. Fiddleford starts a cult. Bill crashes out so hard he ends up in theraprism.

Because the irony is, Ford is actually the most influential character in gravity falls. It's his decisions that shape most of the plot, everyone else is reacting to him. If you're another gravity falls character who has recognised this fact, it's honestly kinda scary.

Because no, you don't have control over your life. Your brother, your partner, your dupe, he's the one writing your narrative. Your own happiness relies on him being there for you. And unfortunately, Ford isn't reliable. He doesn't understand how you feel and he has a history of irrational decision making/pushing people away. You're almost justifiably scared of losing him. Almost.

So how do you make sure he won't leave you? Well, you control & manipulate him, of course. You hold on tighter. Control itself is contradictory because the people exerting it don't have it. That's why they're exerting it.

Ford has the most autonomy because he does not seek to control others. And to be clear, this is not a good thing for him. To live free of influence, to never let anyone change you, is to live completely alone.

So basically, there's a negative feedback loop here. Ford is overly controlled -> ford completely rejects influence by pushing people away -> ford become more independent and isolated -> this scares the people who love and rely on him -> They panic and try to hold onto ford tighter -> ford is overly controlled

Everyone ends up more alone than ever! It's horrible!!

[thesituationship]

Every day I thank Alex for the 'they made each other feel important' interview. It made me realise how the whole 'nobody else gets you/who else will give you this feeling again?' paragraph was complete projection on Bill's part.

Sorry I was just thinking about how it started. Imagine Bill lighting up when Ford laughs at his weird jokes. And Bill loves that reaction so much that he immediately starts trying new material like a child that made the class laugh for the first time.

And every time Bill worries that he's maybe crossed a line, Ford just keeps laughing. And Bill tells himself it's because Ford is a sucker but deep down he's like wow, I've never made anyone this happy. And even deeper down he's like I've never been this happy

And it's so SAD because in the end, it was Bill that would never find that feeling again, not Ford. Uuuhghg they me wanna hurl

[thesituationship]

We all know ford is in-denial about his feelings for bill. But there's not enough fic out there about how in-denial bill is imo. Writing bill as openly dtf is great to read. However, that's not how it came across in tbob imo. I do like to see him burying his romantic/sexual feelings too. Need him desperately convincing the henchies that ford means nothing to him. That his weirdly horny teasing is just how bill likes to throw ford off. He's just messing with that stupid human, It doesn't mean anything.. really, it doesn't. It doesn't.

[thesituationship]

OUGH I love slow burn Billford. Bitter exes constantly fucking is good too but there's something about neither of them confessing any feelings until the last possible moment that is *chefs kiss*.

Like, pre-portal, Ford assumes any strong feelings are just reverence for his muse, and Bill thinks his strong feelings are just sadism, the fun of using Ford, nothing more. Fucking during karaoke doesn't contradict this, I think Ford probably couldn't remember, or maybe his memory was erased. Bill was still in denial, fucking Ford was 'all part of his master plan' somehow (or maybe he just forgot too). Whatever happened that night, the next day, I think they both sensed something had changed, although they couldn't put their finger on what. All they know is that whenever they're apart now, they can only think about each other.

Bill doesn't figure out that he loves Ford until the break up, I think that's clear in Tbob. But I really like the idea that Ford doesn't figure it out till weirdmageddon, and that he refuses to believe that Bill loves him.

To me, it feels very in character for Ford to brush off Bill's very obvious flirting as just a humiliation tactic. Ford has very little self-worth. I don't think he believes anyone would love him for him. People only love what he can do for them. He's also autistic coded, aroace coded. I think he finds it hard to actually recognise romantic advances, even if they're laid on real thick (we see this with fiddleford too). And lastly, there's a lot of shame in being loved by a monster like Bill. It's probably easier to deny it, bury it deep down instead of dealing with the survivor's guilty. Pride and shame are big thematic throughlines in Ford's story.

I also think it's really in character for Bill too. Bill thinks love is weakness. I think he's embarrassed and afraid of how down bad he is. And so, all through the portal years, he's trying to tell ford that he loves him, without telling him. And it kinda comes off as bullying. You can't really blame ford for not picking up on it. However it's funny to think that all the henchmaniacs have.

Anyways, I like to imagine that it doesn't click for Ford until they're alone in the penthouse, and Bill has him pinned. He's finally showing Ford how genuinely frustrated he is with both Ford and himself. He really hates that he loves Ford. He's still really hurt that Ford abandoned him. He really does just want to rule the universe with him. And ford is somehow shocked by this revelation because he's a fucking idiot.

Then, and only then, does Ford finally realise that he loves Bill too. And it hurts so much because it doesn't matter. Everything's gone too far, love can't save them anymore.

I think about this all the time.