Here's a subject for you to tackle if you ever feel up to it: why do people find jealousy so attractive?
As someone who spends a lot of time in fandom space, do you have any thoughts on this? I'm thinking myself in regards to shipping in general, but asking here knowing this is a jikook space.
(If you've spoken on this already, forgive me and direct me there - I did check but I'm not on my A game today.)
Today is a brain fog day, so I've just been mindlessly flipping through YouTube shorts, and the amount of edits and clips with creators and commenters focusing on the perceived jealousy between the people they ship is baffling. Most of the time I just don't see it: person A's face was doing a weird thing when the camera caught it while B and C were dancing together - even media trained professionals aren't On every single second. Maybe he had gas?
I'm the last person who should be commenting on healthy mindstates in relationships, I'm full of issues, but the focus on and desire for jealousy is just...bizarre? Jealousy doesn't feel nice - not from either direction. Why would someone wish that on people they love and admire?
It sounds like I'm being judgemental reading this over, and that wasn't my intention. This ask springs from genuine curiosity: what is the draw?
The want to be desired above anything and everything to the point of possessiveness. To be coveted and protected. "They must *really* love me if this is how they feel and they want me so much." And I blame media who romantizes the fuck out of the "jealousy trope" while in real life, it translates to something much more toxic and when it goes too far? It translates into something more like Joe from You. It often even ends up romanticizing abusive ideals and relationships. People cannot and do not own and control other people. Not their actions or their other relationships outside of your own.
Jealousy is a mark of Insecurity more often than not. Not every time, but it's often a sign of needing more communication in the relationship and talking about whatever triggered the Jealousy and what boundaries in the relationship work for everyone. It's not really a tell of desire, like a lot of people seem to think it is, but rather a tell of person a being insecure about something. And that's an issue to be resolved or abandoned, not an excuse to be controlling. Boundaries are to be respected and if two peoples boundaries don't line up, then the relationship should not continue. If one person's boundaries aren't fair or respectful of another and leak into the toxic controlling aspect instead, then that's a them problem. And it's not a sign of them being so in love with you that they can't control themselves.
If they talk bad about the other people in your life, or they want you spending less time with them, that's a red flag. Please reconsider the relationship. It's not cute and it's not romantic.
And in regards to shipping... well people look for their jealous in terms of I see it as a indication of attraction and love in the romance centered media I consume, so if I see it in my ship, it's proof of my ship being "real." And then they take it wayyyy too far. Which isn't healthy in my opinion. I don't mind it in media to a certain extent and it can be kinda fun sometimes, the Jealousy trope. But people need to be able to seperate reality from fiction.
Thanks for asking. Also, I miss our conversations! I need to finish my current reads so that I can start diving into everything you've recommended me so we can talk about it finally. My bookmarks are full of your recs just WAITING lol
