Sep 15, 2025
The roommates dog was being a little shit all day and he decided to flop down on my bed like he never gets attention at all
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The roommates dog was being a little shit all day and he decided to flop down on my bed like he never gets attention at all
I can't stand people who don't crop their memes and take the most dog ass screenshot of them. One of my roommates still finds his shit on Facebook and he'll just send a screenshot of his whole screen. I'm over here cropping my shit or saving it properly and you do this? On the day of my daughter's wedding?
My roommate's girlfriend last night bought some wax strips to get rid of his arm hair. That's like saying you plan to rip the wings off of an Angel... Why would you do that?
found out that two of my roommates havent seen avpm ,,, me and roommate #1 are now enforcing mandatory bonding time
My roommate was making fun of me because I was crouched next to the oven in a dress stirring my glazed root vegetables like a witch, but I just walked in and saw her open her magic bullet to reveal a puff of steam and some blended potato soup and said “NOW who’s making potions?”
I love my roommate
my roommate, turning to me as we walk home from the library: imagine what it’s like to be a rat when it snows this much. it would be apocalyptic!
me: it’s......rat-narok
tree branch: *dumps a pile of snow DIRECTLY onto my head*
Today my mom sent me two nice, semi-expensive dress shirts that she’d ordered off Lands End. I picked them up from the mail room, opened and tried on the white one to make sure it fit, and left it folded on the foot of my bed.
Several hours later, my roommate came over to ask me a question about an assignment we’re both working on. I gave her a handful of M&Ms from the bag I was eating and she popped them in her mouth and made a joke about the assignment. I laughed, she laughed...
...and one soggy, half-chewed blue M&M flew out of her mouth and landed on my crisp white never-worn dress shirt.
So anyway I’m spot treating it and it was pretty funny but also not an incident I’d like to repeat.