#roommatefail

[likefun-blog]

It should be noted that I simply moved the box of medicine for his goopy eye WHICH I HAVEN'T GIVEN HIM YET and he's already hiding and suspicious. #notrust #roommatefail

[friendshipfails]

Ari's Corner: Craigslist Roommate Ads

My roommate and I are currently on the market for some new people to fill our empty apartment space, as we have two rooms now available...so, wanting to post in an open forum where lots of people could see it and respond (so that we'd have lots of options for potential roomies), I turned to Craigslist. And oh, BOY do we have options!! After posting the details of our apartment/what we were looking for, I asked the applicants to write the name of their favorite Disney movie as the SUBJECT of their email (so I could tell if it was spam/who was actually paying attention). These are just a FEW of the 75+ responses I received. Oh, what a decision this will be for roommate selection! xD

Applicant #1:

"Hi gud afternone, I am interest in da room for rent, I have a releble job, I am 23 yearold I do not have any children that I own,, essept for my exes I have buncha childrens but those kids there mom dont lemme see them caus she's a *flying banana* (censored for appropriate facebook content :D) but truts me I be a gud roomat, Ill keep evrybody away make sure they dont mess with u. U can call me G. Ok thnx babe hmu thru text message or fone or w/e sory if I dont anser if I had to get a new number again or somthing I do that a lot 610-***-****."

Applicant #2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 (He sent me nine different emails. Each one more desperate than the next. NINE!!!):

"hi i saw ur ad."

"sounds like a solid place- found anyone yet?"

"i was wondering if u saw the two emails i sent u this morning...please respond?"

"id like to hear back immediately please, i emailed u over 2 hours ago..."

"if this is how u are going to be with your roommates i dont need this sheep. (censored for facebook content). Flying sheep. No one ever emails me back."

"i just thought of something if you dont check your emails often at all maybe you havent even seen all my messages yet so instead maybe if you can call me heres my number." (x 3)

Applicant #11:

"Hi, my name is Thad, and I am recently divorced and I'm 59 years old. It sounds like your apartment would be the perfect fit for me. When can I move in?"

Applicant #12:

"Hi, I'm John. I really don't feel comfortable doing this, it's really a huge stress for me, but I have no other options...you see, the thing is, I've never lived away from home before. That may seem a little surprising being that I'm 35, but I've just never wanted to leave. I still have my own little room I grew up in and my mom assures me she'll keep it set up for me for when I come and visit, but she said I really need my own space and I need to move forward with my own life. I guess she's right, but it's so hard to move on, and then there's the whole providing for myself now that I'll be on my own and everything. A few questions for you: 1) Does the cost of rent include meals? I don't know how to cook at all. 2) Are there laundry facilities in the apartment or close by? If not, I don't think my mom would mind too much if I just washed my things at our house on the weekends when I come to visit. I mean, I'd only be living a mile or so down the road."

[friendshipfails]

Ari's Corner: Craigslist Roommate Ads (Part Two)

Applicant #13

"My favorite Disney movie? Um, Fox and the hound that s*** makes me cry like a baby every time my name is Mark and I think I'm your guy I'm currently going to attend LCCC in the fall um I'm leaving for a couple weeks for a military training I'm just looking for a decent place to live um I don't drink I don't party I don't think I do at least but anyway um just let me know what you think and we can discuss when I can move in? thanks"

Applicant #14, 15, 16, 17

"Hi, I am very interested in the apartment, if it is still available? I don't want to give out any more info about myself until I learn more about you, if that's ok? I'm just very cautious, you never know what kinds of weirdos you will encounter on craigslist. Please email me back and I will then respond to you. Thx."

(two hours later) "Oh, and as for my last email...I KNOW I said in the title of the message that my favorite Disney movie was Lion King, but it really isn't. It's actually Snow White."

(later that night, 2am?) "Actually, if it's ok, can I change my favorite movie again? I'm going to have to say Tarzan. Something about that movie...it's just my favorite."

(the next day, early afternoon...please note that I had not yet responded to ANY of her messages yet at this point)

"I think I have a problem. This decision-making thing is really bothering me. How can you choose ONE favorite Disney movie? I like them all. But I need to pick one, I know that. That's my problem, I'm too OCD. I'll just keep dwelling on this all day until I find THE perfect Disney movie that I absolutely love. I'm sorry to keep emailing you all the changes, but now on reflection, I don't think my choice of movie will really affect my application or not. I mean to say, I don't think you would reject someone because they liked 101 Dalmations as opposed to Mulan, right?"

Applicant #18

"Hi. Just saw your ad on Craigslist. I am intrested. I am looking for a place due to a seperation of my wife. Your place seems perfect. As for the Disney movie, well I seen them all haveing two kids. Little Mermaid would be it, I think its my daughters farorite also. Speaking of wich can they move in to? I only have visitations on weekends. You said in the ad the room is small. Could it fit three people? Let me know if you are intrested."

Applicant #19, 20

(Note: I CLEARLY stated in the ad that the apt is available JULY 31st and we still have people living there until then.)

"Hi,Can u pls send me pics of the room and also let me no directions to get there as I would be coming to check the room today? In the next half hour or so. Its convenient for me at this time, I'm very busy and can't be bothered to come out to Allentown unless I'm already here working. And I am looking to move in this weekend. u can email me further details at ******@gmail.com or text me on 206-***-****. I hope to hear from u asap."

"Well, I gave u an hour and u still havnt responded, so Im no longer interested, thanks have a nice day."