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"Swans are so pretty, but they're mean" baby, that is a part of their charm. They are insane and we should love them for that <3

#rose's diary

Diary Entry

I feel like every day, I lose another little piece of me. Maybe, I don't know...maybe I stopped being myself after he left. But I'm trying, I'm attempting my best to maintain the Rose everyone knows and expects to see: zealous, brainiac, and sassy—well, kind of bitchy too, but with a gentle heart.

Maybe, that's the problem, having a good heart in a cruel world, but at the same time I believe it's brave to be kind in an awful world.

I'm doing my best to conceal my grief, and smile through the pain, but I'm human. I fell, I crack, I bleed, however, I always stand back up too. This time it's just harder. It's like when a turtle falls on his back and is struggling to get up; I'm this little turtle. I'm struggling, but eventually, I'll figure out how to raise to my feet and stand tall on the ground. How long it'll take me to figure it out, time will tell.

And when I achieve to move on, I'll still remember him. One just can't forget their first love. And I'd be lying, if I said I'd stop loving him, because I can't. I'll always love him. That's the problem. He'll always have a spot in my heart, even when I probably have none in his.

Maybe, I'll find someone else, maybe not. Maybe, we'll be together again someday, maybe not. I don't know. And I won't give it too much thought or it'll drive me crazy. Come what may come. I'm not going to hold my breath anymore because I want to stay alive. I want to breathe, and more importantly, I want to live—live well.

I'm going to focus on my studies and spend my time with my family and friends. At the end of the day, it's always your friends and family that are there for you in times of need. I cherish each of them and I'm utterly grateful to be surrounded by amazing people. It really helps me to feel better and stride into direction of happiness—a good life without Scorpius Malfoy as strange as it sounds to me...