#rosspearson

[illegalelbow]

Ryan Bader, O'Vince St.Preux, Sam Alvey

[joshrosenblatt]

The Dream of Being Knocked Out by a UFC Fighter

British mixed martial artist and Ultimate Fighter winner Ross “The Real Deal” Pearson is busy training for his upcoming fight with fellow Ultimate Fighter winner, and famously unhinged person, Diego Sanchez, and part of that training, apparently, involves posting videos of himself knocking out people who are not Diego Sanchez in the gym. I’m not entirely sure why Pearson posted this video — As a joke? As a lark? As an admission of guilt? As a plea for forgiveness? As a warning to Sanchez? Who can say? Maybe it’s just because we live in a time when not posting video footage of yourself on the Internet is considered the odder decision.

But Pearson’s motivations are a lot less interesting to me than what it must be like to be the man on the receiving end of that kick. As a longtime gym-goer who has been in countless sparring matches, several of which ended with me rolling around helplessly on the ground after a shot to the head or body, I can tell you that after a while all the experiences start to blur together until you can’t differentiate one near-knockout from another. Now, you might argue that my inability to distinguish between head injuries is a result of those head injuries, and you may be right, but I think it’s just that, when done enough, sparring, like everything else in this world, becomes routine. Don’t doubt that you can sleepwalk your way through sparring just like you can sleepwalk your way through anything else in this life (work, sex, sleeping, walking). And when things become too routine, we all need something to shake us out of our near-slumber, to remind us that we’re alive, that we still have blood in our veins, and that wondrous things can happen from time to time.

Which is why, despite the fact that the man Ross Pearson is knocking out on that video is now famous as the man who was knocked out by Ross Pearson on video, I still envy him. What a thrill it must have been to get knocked cold by an honest-to-goodness UFC fighter. The names and faces of the men and women I’ve sparred over the years have blurred together in their anonymity and their lack of celebrity, but a kick to the head from a UFC star would be a singular experience on par with any 10-year-old girl’s tale of chasing down the members of One Direction at a shopping mall, lust and murder in their eyes. It would be a life-defining brush with fame.

I hate to admit it, but this might be my one celebrity thing. I don’t care about meeting movie stars or rock stars or even MMA stars. I have no desire to dine with them or gaze at them or dream that we'll be friends. Nothing in this world sounds more ridiculous. But, oh, to get knocked out by a UFC star in a sanctioned sparring environment -- I could dine out on that story for years. I’d tell everyone I knew, even those (especially those) who didn't know who I was talking about and couldn’t understand the thrill of the truth that I would know — that in order to get knocked out by a UFC fighter you first have to summon the courage to spar with a UFC fighter. Knowing that would be all the validation I’d need in this world. I wouldn’t even ask for an autograph once I regained consciousness.