Had he released me, I think I should have mourned him all the same.
Hi, I'm Crow. I'm a strictly non-sharing self-shipper, and I use this blog as a curated archive of my relationships with my F/Os, mainly for personal reference. I'm formally diagnosed with AuDHD, ASPD (F1), NPD, and PPD. I manage my space thoughtfully, and while I'm not here for social validation, respectful mutuals are welcome.
INTJ-T | 4w5, as is Heathcliff in the novel
Of My Keeping · Ultimate F/Os
⪼ Zandik (Il Dottore) - Genshin Impact
⪼ Claude Frollo - Notre-Dame de Paris / The Hunchback of Notre Dame
⪼ Heathcliff - Wuthering Heights / Limbus Company
Full list → my Carrd
Stay Away · BYI
My ultimates are my everything, and even lower-rank F/Os are kept safe, in-character, canon-consistent, and psychologically coherent. I'm proship in that I don't harass others, scroll past what I dislike, and manage my space as I see fit. I document unwanted interactions due to past harassment, but this doesn't change how I engage with friends, mutuals, or anyone respectful. If I've blocked you by mistake, feel free to reach out politely.
Below are my rules for interacting with my blog and F/Os:
No F/O doubles, claiming my F/Os as your own, or shipping them with canon characters or OCs. This is my most important rule. Familial or platonic love is fine, but romantic, sexual, or thirst-driven interest isn't allowed. This applies absolutely to my ultimates (Zandik, Claude, Heathcliff); anyone violating it (including interacting with doubles, writing or reading x‑reader content of them, or claiming to be their "actual partner") will be blocked. Falling for my F/Os later is also not permitted; my husbands aren't up for grabs. For lower-rank F/Os, I'm more lenient: I may unfollow or break mutuals, but repeated violations still result in a block.
No controlling or commenting on my F/Os or self-ships. I curate my own content and explore adult villain relationships meaningfully. You don't need to know or judge the experiences that shaped my interests. Attempts to dictate personalities and dynamics won't be tolerated, though respectful appreciation is welcome.
No F/O letters, asks, or roleplay without respecting my boundaries. I accept occasional questions or messages, but I prefer to interpret and roleplay my F/Os myself. As someone with ASD and ADHD, I can't always handle long explanations, casual roleplay, or in-depth asks from strangers. Respectful, minimal, and in-character engagement is fine, and I may respond (sometimes very late), but otherwise I'll ignore or block.
No destructive or abusive handling of F/Os, yours or mine. I don't tolerate taking pleasure in hurting, killing, or sexually violating F/Os. Even hypotheticals about mutilating or destroying a beloved character aren't welcome. Respect for the F/O as a psychologically coherent being is mandatory.
No sexualized adult × minor content or incest involving my F/Os. I don't have minor F/Os, and I won't engage with adult × minor content. Incest content with my F/Os is strictly prohibited, and I generally avoid others' incestuous content too.
No self-insert RPF (self-shipping with real people). This includes public figures, celebrities, or anyone whose consent you don't have. My content focuses entirely on fictional interactions, safely imagined within the story.
No pro-contact or predator-supporting behavior. I block radqueer or pro-contact users who condone sexual contact with real children, animals, or deceased people. I don't engage with these themes in fiction either, though discussions of paraphilias or dark fantasies are fine in a neutral, psychological, or fictional context. Real-world harm or promotion of illegal activity will be blocked immediately.
No harassment, discrimination, or bigotry toward me or my F/Os. I block anyone expressing racism, ableism, anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment, or other discrimination. Heath is dark-skinned and canonically marginalized, and I won’t tolerate harm toward him or other F/Os. I'm neurodivergent and non-binary, and attacks based on these traits are forbidden.
No underage interaction with mature or NSFW content. All content exploring mature or psychologically intense dynamics is for adults only. Anyone under 18 must not engage with, comment on, or request material tagged #spicy or #suggestive.
No weaponizing or targeting my venting. I'm allowed to express feelings, frustrations, or observations on my blog, usually in tags. My posts aren't invitations for harassment, screenshotting, or reposting. I don't need to justify or explain my venting to anyone.
No interacting if you dislike or can't tolerate the tropes in my self-ships. My F/Os and I explore morally complex and mature dynamics. If any of the following tropes make you uncomfortable, it's best not to engage:
⪼ Medical, surgical, and mad scientist themes (Zandik, Harley)
⪼ Experimentation and observation dynamics (Zandik)
⪼ Abduction and containment for mutual purposes (Zandik)
⪼ Priest kink (book Claude)
⪼ Age gaps (all adults, e.g., Disney Claude is about 40 years older than me)
⪼ Temptation and illicit desire (both Claudes)
⪼ Taboo relationships (Claude - Luciferian × Christian tension; Rollo - professor × student at different colleges, all adults)
⪼ All-consuming attachment (book Heathcliff)
⪼ Devoted ferocity (LCB Heathcliff)
⪼ Fate-bound tether across worlds (Erlking Heathcliff)
⪼ Inevitable entwinement (all Heathcliffs)
⪼ Mutual fixation (all ultimates)
⪼ Psychologically charged interactions (all F/Os)
⪼ Power imbalance, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, objectification (most of my F/Os)
⪼ Consensual dominance and lechery (my F/Os may initiate intimacy with me as they wish)
⪼ Somnophilia (within established trust)
These dynamics are central to my connections with my F/Os. If they aren't for you, it's perfectly fine to scroll past.
I don’t even care anymore, I’ve crossed over. I am on my knees for him. Have you SEEN him?! This man is almost fully bald and still so ungodly handsome it should be illegal. Like. For WHAT. FOR WHAT PURPOSE.
I want to cup his face and kiss his forehead and help him wash his hair (what’s left of it, anyway). I want to drag my fingers gently over his scalp and hear him sigh, just once, just for me. I want to press my lips to the hollow of his throat and feel him shiver like the sinner he swears he's not. I KNOW, I just KNOW his kisses are desperate and trembling and so full of need they make time stop.
Half my thoughts about this man are not in the Bible. I'm sorry. I'm not proud (I am VERY proud).
I want him on top of me. I want to pull him into my arms and tease the absolute life out of him. I want to lick the guilt off his soul and kiss every scar and self-inflicted wound on his chest. I want to trace them, heal them, worship them. I want to wrap a blanket around him and force-feed him a decent meal and then kiss the crumbs off his lips. I want him to know pleasure and peace, even if he doesn't think he deserves either.
ARCHDEACON CLAUDE, WHEN I CATCH YOU-
You will always be perfect to me. Your brilliant but spiraling brain. Your hands that shake but still hold knowledge. Your gaze that burns and flickers and pleads.
I want to make him feel loved. I want to kiss the breath out of him. I want him to tremble under me for once and let go.
May God forgive me. <- You know it’s bad when you’re Luciferian but the priest is doing things to your soul.
So I finally got my hands on Twisted Wonderland after years of it not being available in my region and it’s been like. An hour. ONE hour. Two of my friends (I'm looking at you, Soph and Ari) already assigned me Dire Crowley as an F/O earlier today and??? They were so right. Dude is so dramatic, self-obsessed in the funniest way and I fear I’m already down bad. Send help. Or more Crowley content.
