(in which the respectable senior actually has a filthy mouth.)
Name's position in the sect isn't really specified, but there was one thing for sure. They were considered one of the most respectable and polite person in Mount Hua. Characters of all types seemed to find themselves drawn to this mysterious person. Not only did they have the skills and the charms, they were practically perfect.
...That was what everyone thought, anyways.
In reality, the 'perfect' senior of Mount Hua spits poison with a delicate smile on their face, as if the words that spilled out of their mouth didn't just violate a person's entire bloodline and more. There were a few instances that revealed the truth of their identity to the elders and a few other juniors, which promptly caused horror to appear on their faces, obviously in disbelief that the seemingly well-behaved disciple could speak such profanities. The way they cussed and threathened unspeakable violence upon someone with the brightest look did not make the situation better.
Of course, they were strongly advised to keep their attitude in check, which they did.
Until Chung Myung came around.
(reupload with a bit additions!! its only at the lower half/near the end of the fic though, just an extra paragraph and some changes!!)
part I
(In which the beloved senior of mount hua ponders over a selfish person's final moments.)
(gn!reader - second pov, angst.)
(tw! mention of blood, war.)
A foolish decision was the consenquences of that moment.
A moment so short, it could hardly be considered a second. You wondered why you thought it felt like eons when it only lasted in a blink of an eye, or rather— a look in the eye.
Sometimes you feel like you've already made peace with the past. Your heart no longer aches for the fleeting memories of a childhood innocence, your tongue no longer tastes bitter at the sheer mention of them. You no longer need to spend countless nights weeping over your imaginary scenarios, the what-ifs, the pleases, and the if onlys.
After so, so long, you've grown. Finally, at last, you'll be able to live in the present with no more strings tying you to the past, chaining you down and cutting into your skin with each step, forcing piercing tears to fall down your eyes as you tried to deny it all and smile in front of your juniors who knew nothing. They, who you protected with your life, were oblivious to the shadows that hid behind their beloved senior; They, who only lived under the wings of their seniors and sect leaders, were unaware of the tattered and stained wings their senior owned, as if it was natural, as if it had been there all along. Him, who thought he had seen it all, were still so, so unsuspecting of your obvious lies—
—Of your past, your pain, your love.
—Of your experiences, your heartbreak, your one and only.
Lovely senior, perhaps if you had heeded their warnings and opened up, allowed those who wished to understand to learn, then perhaps your demise would've been like the you you presented to your people.
Peaceful.
Instead, you've shown the whole world who you truly are, destroying your perfect reputation with your foolishness.
In a frenzied haze of battle-struck wounds, with the blood that your parents had given you flowing out uncontrollably and returning to the earth, with the tears that you used to hide away in your eyes staining your cheeks as you looked so pitifully vulnerable in front of all those who had seen you as a warrior.
You felt shame.
Especially when your attacker, the source of your misery, had looked at you with such a heartbroken expression you almost felt as if your efforts to move on had thoroughly shattered at that moment. Ah, you truly couldn't forget. You couldn't even uphold a final promise. How could you ever move on when the smile that shone the brightest belonged to them, while you were merely the rays of moonlight that reflected off the sun?
Their senior, always so strong, had turned out to be the weakest among them all. Their senior, who had given everything to them, had turned out to be the most selfish person they had known. How could you give up on them and leave them behind like that? How could you throw away everything just for a lost memory? How could you, How could you how could you how could you how could you—
—How could they ever respect someone like that from now on?
This shameless, weakling of a senior had turned out to be the biggest liar. Your perfect image broken and revealing pieces of shattered glass that were now turned to dust, being held together by a transparent plate that acted as a shield. Your sword, broken on the ground, the hours you had spent polishing it rendered useless and futile.
You wished you could laugh, but the voice you thought you had had given up on you as well. Maybe, in another life, you could be stronger. Maybe, in another life, you could start again and be better.
Maybe, in another life, you could meet them again.
"I'm sorry, Mount Hua."
Maybe, in another life, your wishes would come true.
