Epithets Are Not Your Friends
(Or: “Why Your Characters’ Names Aren’t Boring”)
Epithets are descriptive words used in place of a character’s name. They appear often in fanfic, and they belong in the same category as excessive fancy dialogue tags, overuse of “was” verbs, and calling eyes “orbs”— meaning, they weaken your prose and give readers excuses to stop paying attention.
Here’s what they look like:
The green-eyed girl
The shorter boy
The brunette
The old man
If said epithet is the only thing the reader or POV character knows about the other character (i.e. “the woman”, “the soldier”, “the barista”), then epithets aren’t a problem! But if I already know that “the green-eyed girl” is my friend Samantha, then why is it necessary to remind me what color her eyes are? If “the brunette” introduced herself several paragraphs ago, why are you still referring to her by her hair color?
The bottom line: Epithets draw attention to the feature they describe. If you don’t need readers to pay attention to that feature, you don’t need to use an epithet.
“Try and take it back, then,” the taller of the two snickered, holding the stolen sandwich above their head.
“It’s true,” says the first in line to the throne. “I’m the one who hired the assassins.”
“You should try a balayage,” the blonde says. “I bet it’d look great with your caramel tones!”
Here, epithets give greater insight to the characters’ motivations, experience, personalities, and so on. They definitely don’t have to be there for the sentence to make sense, but they’re relevant to the character in that situation, so they don’t feel out of place.
“But Rov! I’m using the same names and pronouns over and over! What if people get bored?”
You’re using those names and pronouns because those are the characters’ names and pronouns. Your readers aren’t bored because they know that those are the characters they’re reading about. Use them as much as you need to make sure it’s clear who’s saying what. I promise you— I promise you— we don’t even notice.
“Well, what should I look out for when I’m writing?”
“The other male” *
“The [insert hair color here]”
“The short one”
If your characters are in the middle of a conversation and you keep poking me to remind me “Character A has black hair btw” “Character B has XY chromosomes” “A is shorter than B”, it pulls me out of the moment. If these things are relevant, then they’re probably the things you should show me, not tell me.
So, stop worrying so much! You’re not boring for using characters’ names. What’s important is that your readers don’t have to stop and think about what character you’re talking about, or wonder why that aspect of them is relevant to what’s going on. Strive for clarity first and foremost. Your writing will feel more focused and you’ll look and sound more confident.
(*Also, please reserve “male” and “female” for animals, or for when sex and gender are actually relevant to the discussion. Referring to humans by their biological sex out of nowhere is weird.)
