This Time Around 2
A strange woman Bucky is sure he knows but can’t fully recognize, picks him up after the fall of SHIELD. She claims to be friends with Steve and that she is here to help him. He can’t help but keep wondering where he knows her from; it’s definitely not through Steve Rogers. Can she help him be the man he wants to be or will the all too familiar struggles of being a super human overcome him?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OC Rowan O’Connor Word Count:4,531 Rating: M Masterlist Chapter 1
Chapter 3
Taglist: @xmarveled @spidey-the-killer-queen
Rowan jumped slightly when she felt her cell phone buzz in her back pocket. She eyed the sleeping form of Bucky, who had made his way to her now-made bed not long after their nearly-all-day conversation of how the two found themselves in this shit-show.
She understood where the guy was coming from. She really did. She had been subjected to some of the same treatment. Cryostasis, memory-wiping, brain-washing, being used to do the dirtiest deeds against her own will. She would be forever grateful for Natasha saving her from the hell that the United States government put her through, but right now, she was not thankful to know the red-headed assassin.
I know you found him. -N
Who? -R
It's been over two weeks. If you hadn't, you would have updated me by now. -N
Update: I haven't found him. -R
You're lying O'Connor. -N
You know what this means to Steve. -N
We need you. -N
Damn it Rowan. Answer me. -N
Rowan sat for a long while thinking about how well Natasha knew her. Should she tell her? Nat knew she was lying and Rowan knew how desperate Steve was to find his friend. Over the past ten years the newly-formed Avengers or SHIELD, respectively, had called Rowan in on some cases.
She had gotten to know the team pretty well, considered them all friends even. But she liked to keep to herself. Help out for the greater good here and there, slowly but surely clearing out her red ledger as Natasha always said. Then back into the shadows she went; there were still people looking for her, wanting to use her like they had The Winter Soldier; like the Captain was originally meant to be used; how she had been used by those that got their hands on Erskine’s formula and updated it.
Fury and SHIELD, Steve and the Avengers, they had offered her a place to seek refuge, but she felt like she shouldn't have to burden them. After what she had done, for them to openly welcome her to their safe hold... Would the same be said for Bucky Barnes? Probably, they knew who he was before all that HYDRA shit happened. Rowan was no one before The Sector. She had only ever been The Sector’s puppet.
"Are you gonna rat me out?" A deep voice from behind her startled her once again. Damn, she needed to be on her toes, no matter how at ease she felt with someone who had been through what she had. If anything, she should be on high alert, for she knew what this man was capable of and who was after him. She didn't answer him right away, letting the tension grow within the room.
"No."
I haven't found him. But I'll keep you updated. -R
Where are you.-N
Home.-R
Which one... -N
One you don't know about. I'll ttyl Nat. -R
She could feel Bucky reading the texts from over her shoulder. When she was sure he was finished, she shut her phone off and set it on the side table. She turned fully around to face the standing man.
"You know, I know you remember Steve, at least a bit. I've come to know him well over the past few years. Natasha saved my life; Steve is trying to do the same for you. They've... offered me a haven of sorts with their team. I'm sure they'd do the same for you. They're good people." Rowan tried to convince herself of what she was saying too. To be honest she wasn't one hundred percent sure what would happen.
Tony was a decent man, Rowan liked him a lot, but he didn't know all of what Bucky had done. She already knew Nat and Steve were a go, Thor wasn’t even on planet but was so happy-go-lucky all the time she doubted he would mind, and Banner was nervous all the time and second guessed most everything their little band of heroes did anyway so she didn’t even bother worrying about him.
She smirked when she thought briefly of Sam Wilson, the handsome and comedic soldier that had helped Steve and Natasha during the past few weeks, all he had done while she visited them shortly was complain about how “that asshat” had ripped his steering wheel off. She had a feeling he would go with whatever Steve said though, he was a fantastic soldier, and a good friend to Steve. Still, she had her reservations about the whole situation. As much as she trusted Natasha and Steve, it was others around their team she didn’t quit trust yet.
"So why aren't you with them now?" Touché.
"I have my reasons."
"Then so do I." Bucky could tell Rowan was trying too hard to sound convincing. He wasn’t sure why, if these people really were her friends.
"Fine. Look, you're welcome to stay here as long as you need. But Natasha knows I know where you are. So eventually she's gonna come checking up on me. And it won't be for afternoon tea." Rowan blinked and looked away from Bucky's intense stare. She could tell he didn't like what she had said, not one bit. But he was thankful for her not giving his location away.
“Look, I know what you’re going through, and trust me when I say it will most definitely get worse before it gets better. But I’ll be here to help if you’ll accept it.” Why was she offering her help? It wasn’t like her. Maybe it was his situation, so much like hers…
She didn’t know where she’d be if Natasha hadn’t helped her through that horrible time. And, much as she loathed to admit it, she trusted Nat and Steve with her life, they had come through a lot over the past few years. Anything she could do to return the favor was still not enough, and never would be in her eyes. Maybe that’s why she didn’t bother staying long with the group after she helped them out. Would Bucky feel the same way?
An important thing in her recovery was that Natasha didn’t need to help her. She hadn’t even known her, but she believed in her, or at least was a good enough actress to make Rowan believe it. She knew that Fury had all but forced Nat to follow after her and help her, for as long as it took. It was the fact of the matter that someone who didn’t know anything about her other than those horrible years believed that she could be better than what she was subjected to.
She had a feeling that Steve would put too much pressure on Bucky to be like he was back when they were kids. He didn’t need that, he needed to see that total strangers believed he could overcome his red ledger. Sure he was the old Bucky now, but once all the memories came through… He wouldn’t be the same as he was when Steve knew him best, he never would be, and she had a feeling Steve expected him to be when this was all said and done.
Bucky would be a man who had memories from three different lifetimes, Bucky Barnes, The Winter Soldier, and… the man he will become now, whoever that might be. She was getting ahead of herself, they would cross that bridge when they arrived. Right now, she just needed to show him that he could trust her.
Bucky stared at the green-eyed woman in front of him. The woman who had apparently saved his life and who had pretty much led the same life as he had. She was offering him a place to stay, a safe place to stay; at least for now. Hell, if he were to admit it, he kind of wanted to stay with her.
She knew what he went through, and from her own stories from today, vague as they may have been; he was sure she would be the best equipped to handle what his mind would do to him and the people around him when he started remembering more… But a voice in the back of his mind screamed a warning at him just when he found himself trying to trust this red head. It was dark and scratchy, it made his head hurt.
"Thanks for everything." Bucky said roughly. The woman's mouth dropped open slightly as he walked away abruptly, heading for the only door out of the apartment.
"Hold on buddy. Where do you think you're going?" No answer. Before Bucky could blink twice Rowan had rushed towards the front door, blocking his escape route. His automatic response of lashing out was met with Rowan's automatic response of defending herself against him. He was on the floor in a compromising position about three seconds later.
He let his head fall to the ground. He was rusty. Rowan also had the same strength as Steve, if not more so with how his body felt; whereas Bucky had been injected with the Nazi's rip off serum according to Rowan. He just wasn't quite strong enough, especially in the state he was, freshly healed from gunshot wounds and being in what was probably as close to a coma as his body could get for two weeks. Hell, the only thing he'd eaten was some toast and butter over the last twelve hours.
"I'm guessing you just worked out how really fucked you are over the course of this encounter. I'm not going to hurt you Bucky. I'm here to help you. I know what you've gone through and I'm not going to let it happen again, okay?" Rowan relaxed her grip on Bucky's arms and sat up a little, although she remained kneeling over the other super soldier; not quite trusting him not to run.
"Before we go anywhere, you're going to need to rest up a bit more, you'll need a shower, and probably a shave and haircut… Or you know, you could probably rock the hipster man-bun look." Rowan smacked herself mentally, not even finding the words to reprimand herself for that last afterthought.
“Why are you doing this? Being… nice to me. After everything I’ve done. I’m a, a monster. I don’t deserve this.” Bucky looked up at Rowan with pathetic eyes, a dimple residing on his forehead in between his eyebrows as he frowned. Rowan sighed and closed her eyes a moment before answering,
“Because, when I was in your situation, someone reached out to me and helped me. Call it settling a deal, erasing my red ledger for all the bad shit I’ve done. Once you’re ready, you’ll probably find yourself in my position. You’re welcome.”
He didn’t have an answer to that. Bucky realized, as Rowan removed herself from above him, that this woman was right. He couldn't defend himself properly while in this state. So he would wait, regain his strength, use the help she was offering, then he would leave. Leave and never return so no one else would get hurt. He doubted he could erase his red ledger.
-TTA-
“She’s either with him or knows where he is.”
“How can you be so sure Nat? I mean, she isn’t giving up any information, and you only texted her. How can you tell she’s lying over a text?” Steve chewed his lip as Natasha turned around from her position on the couch. She hid the urge to roll her eyes.
“Because, Steve, I know Rowan, very well actually. I know she’s lying. There has to be a good reason for it. She knows how much he means to you; if he were hurt or is hurt, she might be waiting for him to heal up before letting you know he’s okay.”
“Well what if she can’t properly treat him? What if he needs a real doctor?”
“Then she’ll find a real doctor, Steve. Look- I know you know Rowan, this woman was trained like Bucky and I, sure - it was for the United States, but you know how corrupt they are. She knows her shit. She can protect him too, before you try to pull that card on me.
“The US government copied and enhanced the serum that you were injected with, she is definitely strong enough to handle anything that comes her way, and she’s spent enough time in the lab with Tony and Bruce to know her way around anything medical or mechanical.”
Steve had found a seat at Tony’s kitchen bar while Natasha had been speaking. She was probably right. From what Steve had seen of Rowan she was definitely formidable against anyone who came her way. Steve paused for a moment in his thinking. Had she meant to say those things about Rowan? He had only assumed SHIELD had found her and tried to make another super soldier. It seemed that wasn’t the case.
“Okay Natasha. I’ll trust you on this one… I guess. Only on the condition you tell me what’s up with Rowan. No beating around the bush. I want her story. I haven’t asked once about how she got the serum or where she’s from, because I trusted you and she’s proved herself more than once.
“But this is Bucky we’re talking about… You said she was injected with the same serum I was? When did this happen? Why aren’t there more soldiers just like her working for the US? And why for the love of God won’t she just come live with us? I mean seriously, she fits right in with the team.”
Natasha smirked at Steve’s last sentence. She did fit in well with the team. Natasha suspected that with time Rowan would come to find that not everyone was out to get her and the people that were would have a harder time if she stayed with the Avengers, as they had now been dubbed.
“It really isn’t my story to tell, but for the sake of me winning this argument and the fact that she probably doesn’t mind if I share with you, I’ll tell you everything I know.” Steve took a seat across from Natasha, somewhat surprised at Natasha’s admittance that Rowan wouldn’t have minded sharing the information with Steve.
Maybe he should have just grown a pair and asked her himself when she was here a few weeks back. He waited for about ten seconds as Nat pulled a device out of her pocket that looked like some sort of calculator. After another few moments, Steve grew even more impatient.
“Natasha. Am I supposed to be reading your mind or something here?”
“I’m disabling JARVIS in this room so he can’t overhear. Not that I think Tony would do anything with this information, but until we rat out all the HYDRA agents from what’s left of SHIELD and Stark Industries, I’m not taking any chances.” Steve admired Natasha while she typed furiously on the tablet in her lap.
She was a strong soldier in battle, a world-renowned spy and assassin- no matter what end of her gun you ended up on, you had to give her credit for how badass she was- and among many other great qualities that the red-head possessed, doing everything in her power to keep her friends safe was one of Steve’s favorites. Once Natasha was finished with disabling Tony’s bodiless, voice-only robot-thing that Steve didn’t want to admit still freaked him out sometimes, she adjusted her seat for a more comfortable position.
“Rowan was born in 1935, in Ireland. Because of the unsettling government issues across Europe, her parents shipped her over to her Uncle’s farm in Virginia when she was ten. Her parents went missing and a few months later her mother’s body was recovered but the reason of her death was never revealed; they never found her father, there were rumors he a was a mutant; a human that possesses the X-gene.
“I’ll explain that later. Her Uncle worked on the farm as a cover, but actually worked with the White House- he was a scientist. That’s how the government found out about Rowan. They had been looking for young, impressionable people to shape into soldiers to “protect” the US and her allies. With an immigrant Uncle that was willing to keep quiet and no other family it was easy to start her training.
“After a few years in Virginia and D.C., they moved her to Australia, then Wales, then back to US soil when she turned twenty four. You kind of know what happened during the Red Room with me growing up? The US version was The Sector.”
“So she grew up like you did, training to be a spy? Did the US think the war would last longer than it did?”
“Hold your horses old man, I’m not finished yet.” Steve blushed and tucked his arms tighter across his chest, waiting for Natasha to stop chuckling at his impatience. Could he really be blamed though? He told Natasha that he would trust her on this one, and lord help him he would, but he still wanted to know everything there was about the woman supposedly keeping his best friend from him.
If she was as trustworthy as Natasha claimed her to be (and he thought she was…but come on this was Bucky they were dealing with!), then he shouldn’t be freaking out, but he just couldn’t help it. Bucky had been there from the beginning. And he was supposed to be there till the end of the line. Steve thought that line had ended a long time ago. But somehow, God had other plans in mind.
“Rowan was twenty four when The Sector took your formula and enhanced it. I’m not sure how they got it from Erskine, I thought he kept it in his head and not written anywhere; if Rowan knows, she never told me. They immediately injected her with it, claiming she was already physically in top condition, so all there was to enhance, as far as they could tell, was her speed, strength, reflexes, hearing, eyesight, you know; the whole shebang.
“They heard rumors about her mutant father, but no powers ever surfaced, so they pretty much forgot about that. The serum worked, and, since the world was at a general peace, they locked her in the ice box until Bucky started showing up. Every time they got wind of The Winter Soldier they would send Rowan out to try to bring him down. She got close a few times, but HYDRA’s tech was just a little better than The Sector’s during those years.
“She’d be taken out for other missions though, The Sector was an organization that was almost as crazy as HYDRA, only rooting for the US. They claimed that they had allies, but at the end of the day it was all about good ole ‘Murica. They’re not known very well, the most you would ever hear would be whispers throughout SHIELD about a rogue government organization who was crazy about making sure the US was the biggest threat out there.
“All they cared about was making sure the United States had no enemies, and not because they made friends. They were out to strike fear in the other countries, to make sure no one dared to defy what the US wanted… About ten years ago Coulson debriefed me on a possible new asset to SHIELD. The file name was titled OBSIDIAN. Surprisingly it wasn’t an acronym, which our government loves to use usually.
“Something about Paleolithic history and how Obsidian was viewed as a protective power totem, given to soldiers to strengthen them. The Sector saw themselves ultimately doing good work for the US, the light-side if you will. Well there’s a light and dark side to everything… Rowan was their dark side.”
Natasha sighed rather loudly and stood, stretched, then headed over to the fully stocked bar. She poured two glasses of Tony’s no-label-although-lets-face-it-probably-privately-made whiskey and downed both before pouring two more. Steve sat quietly and waited for Natasha to finish before he dared speak. He watched her closely as she walked slowly back to where he sat. He took the offered drink and sipped a little before setting the glass on the coffee table. Natasha drank about half of the glass before setting her own down.
“So I did my job and brought her in. She had been in hiding for about two months from HYDRA and The Sector. It actually took about two years for her to fully trust me enough to get help from SHIELD. Over that time she and I travelled across Europe and Canada, though mostly sticking in Ireland.
“A lot of her memories from before she was used in The Sector came back to her while we were travelling. It wasn’t pretty. She hurt people, depending on when the memories came back and where we were. Anything can trigger them. One of her worst ones was when we were on a train. We passed by some old castle that apparently her parents took her to right before they shipped her over to the states.” Natasha took another long sip of her whiskey. She set the glass down and clasped her hands together, elbows on her knees. Her eyes stared blankly ahead as Natasha relived the day from so many years ago.
“She just spazzed out. She shoved me out of my seat and went on a rampage. I-I could barely stop her. She ended up passing out; but she had snapped one guy’s femur bone and literally ripped the security guards arm off with her own two hands. This woman-she, I, Rowan… Rowan didn’t even touch her, just looked her way, and she… Her body bent at odd angles, and she flew out of the window, over the edge of a ravine.
“There was lightning coming from Rowan’s fingertips, her eyes turned black. A storm popped up out of a seemingly clear blue, cloudless sky. I’ve never seen anything like it, at least not from any human besides Banner when he goes green... Or Thor when he uses Mjolnir. I hadn’t been actually nervous like that in a long while. I thought I might have to take her out.” Natasha seemed to be looking through Steve.
She had a troubled look on her face, eyebrows closely knit together, remembering the years she had spent with Rowan, who she now considered her closest friend, were not always rainbows and butterflies. Natasha had never seen Rowan use that power again. Not even in battle. It was as if Rowan hadn’t even realized she’d done it. She still didn’t know what she had done that to the woman, Natasha had never told her.
Never told her about the lightning that flew from her fingertips as she rampaged through the train compartment, or the storm that raged over the train while there was an otherwise beautiful blue sky over the Irish countryside. She hadn’t even told Fury or Coulson about it.
The only people on the train that witnessed it were either dead or had passed out from Rowan beating them to a pulp, luckily they hadn’t remembered when they woke up. A very attractive red-headed nurse had made sure of it. It was the only true secret she had left. Well, she guessed, not anymore. God, maybe she trusted Steve more than she wanted to admit. She didn’t like that...
Steve worried at his lip a bit more while listening to the tales of Rowan regaining her memories. He couldn’t imagine what Bucky was going through, if the memories had started to come back at all. He guessed the silver lining was at least Bucky wasn’t as strong as Steve or Rowan, he only had about eighty percent of their strength, as far as they knew, unless HYDRA had gotten a hold of The Sector’s updated formula. They might be in trouble then, until he could get to Bucky at least.
“She finally gave in enough to help us bring down The Sector. Fury was beyond furious and had some strong words with the President and his colleagues about how much of The Sector was hidden from SHIELD eyes all these years. Turned out The Sector was just a little too harsh for even Fury’s morals.” Natasha smirked.
“Turns out SHIELD was a little too much for Fury too, huh?” Steve nodded his head and blew hot air out of his nose in agreement. When Natasha didn’t continue, Steve took that as an opening for his questions.
“So why do the memories coming back make them go crazy?” He could only picture Bucky picking someone up and killing them with his mind…
“I don’t know if the same thing will happen to Bucky, but it’s more than likely. And I’m not sure, Rowan didn’t have an answer and she never really wanted me to ask Banner or Stark. They still don’t know her whole story. Only Coulson, Fury, and I know besides her. We were the only four who knew about the OBSIDIAN file. There’s no data left on it. All Sector data has been wiped from existence.
As far as we know, there are no more agents, unless they have gone deep under cover. Rowan doesn’t trust Coulson or myself when we’ve tried to tell her, she is more paranoid than even I am.” Natasha and Steve both chuckled at her little joke. She had to put some kind of light hearted statement out there, for both of them were almost choking on the seriousness of the situation.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to unload this much information… If you could keep it to yourself, that’d be great. Rowan doesn’t even know about the details of the train incident. I didn’t want to tell her, I don’t know how it would affect her.” Natasha felt rather guilty now. It hadn’t been in her plan to tell Steve this much, but the words just kept flowing.
Her time with Rowan had been one hell of a mission. Usually missions are easy for her to shake off after she’s done. She keeps it strictly business, how she was taught. But with Rowan, and it seemed since she was drafted for the Avengers and even SHIELD, her cold heart was warming up a bit.
The things that happened with Rowan turned personal when Natasha and she became friends. The whole situation went up a whole other level for Natasha that she hadn’t ever been on. Sure, at the Red Room growing up, she thought a few of the other girls she trained with were considered friends, until they proved her wrong. It felt good to unload some of the heavy information she had on her friend. And Natasha knew she could trust Steve.
“Natasha, thank you. I won’t say anything.” Steve patted her knee before holding up his right hand, fingers tightened into a fist, sans his pinky. Natasha rolled her eyes slightly at Steve before reluctantly enclosing Steve’s pinky with her own.
“You’ve got to stop trusting Sam and Tony to update you on modern-day traditions.”
