This is a little imagine for @spidey-the-killer-queen after her shit day at class. It was a little rushed at 130 in the morning but ITs fINe. Love you 😍
Pairing: Reader x Dacre Montgomery
Today had been a shit day. It was your first official day of classes for your Master’s degree at NYU. You’d missed the bus, the train was down, and you’d forgotten your wallet. By the time you’d gone back to your apartment, you were already nearly an hour late to your first lecture.
Traffic was shit and your Uber driver wouldn’t shut up. Your headphones busted, and your laptop died. To add onto your already shitty day, Dacre had to stay late for some GQ photoshoot and interview for a five page spread.
You’d made it home and had flopped onto the bed, still fully clothed with shoes on. How were you going to survive the rest of your grad school if you couldn’t even handle the first day? Would the thousands of dollars of debt be worth all this shit? You let the tears soak your pillow as you drifted into a dreamless sleep, not caring that it was still daylight out.
You kicked out unexpectedly at something tickling your bare foot. A loud, obnoxious grunt brought you to full consciousness. You lazily rolled over and let one eye stay closed as you looked down your body at your boyfriend.
“Hey baby, how was your first day at big kid school?” You let Dacre pull off your other shoe and sock, staying quiet.
“I was a bit worried when you didn’t return my call. But now I see you have just worked so hard.” Dacre moved up your limp body and with no help from you, pulled your jeans down your legs. He left little kisses up your legs, and you slightly pulled away.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
“I haven’t shaved.”
“You know that doesn’t bother me. Long as those leg hairs don’t get longer than mine.” His wink and grin almost brought a smile to your face but you just couldn’t convince your muscles to move.
“Okay, now I know something is wrong. Because I’m extremely hilarious. That’s why you’re dating me.”
“I’m just not in the mood, Dacre.” He backed off a bit and looked at you. His brow was heavy over his steel blue eyes as he let them admire you. Your slightly hairy legs, old band tee, and spider-man underwear. When your eyes met, his worried brow disappeared.
“Tell me what happened, love. I can’t help if I don’t know what to fix. Who do I have to kill?”
“I just had a shit day and if I start talking about it I’m gonna cry and I don’t want to annoy you because I know you had a longer and harder day than I did and I just feel guilty because you work so hard and I don’t have a job and you’re paying for literally everything and I just. UGH.” You didn’t take a breath until you finished your sentence.
“My day wasn’t that hard, I got to brag about you to the interviewer. And every time the weird photographer told me to give sex eyes I just imagined you.” You smiled softly at his last statement. He had ignored the comment about him paying for most of your expenses.
You’d had this conversation before. He wanted to support you so you could achieve your dream. After all- he always brought up- you’d supported the two of you when he was a struggling actor, put off your schooling to work three jobs while he was still up and coming.
“Tell you what, you tell me about your shit day, and I’ll give you the inside scoop on what I told the interviewer. The article won’t be out until next week. You can gossip with all your friends.” You sighed and let Dacre pull you into his arms. You leaned back and listened to his strong, steady heartbeat for a moment before you started.
“I woke up late, missed the bus. The train was fucked up for some reason. Then I forgot my fucking wallet and had to turn around because I didn’t pack a lunch and didn’t have any cash on me. So then, once I came back, I called an Uber and traffic fucking sucked, and then my phone and my laptop died. So I had to ask a total complete stranger to email me her notes. It just- fucking sucked! I’m not even sure I want to get my masters after today.” You smacked Dacre on the arm as his rumbling laughter came from behind you. You roughly wiped tears from your face.
“That does sound like a horrible day, baby. I’m so sorry. But-“ Dacre gently unraveled from behind you and went to the closet. You moved to the edge of the bed and sat cross-legged, watching your boyfriend sort through his suit jackets. After a moment, he bowed his head and took an audible breath before letting it out slowly. He turned around, hiding something behind his back and walked up to you. He kneeled down in front of you and kissed you.
“This was supposed to happen in a much more romantic way, in Long Island this weekend, but seeing as you had a shit day...” He pulled his hands from behind his back and opened a tiffany blue box with Cartier embossed in silver on the top. You suddenly forgot how to breathe.
“Y/N. You are my absolute world. Without you, I’d never be able to do what I do. Every time I get down, you pick me up, no questions asked. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. Even on the days when I’ve done something to piss you off, you light up my world.
“If you want to quit school and just be my arm candy, I’d be happy. But I think you’d look amazing with a grad cap on your gorgeous head. I really don’t care what you choose, as long as it’s with me, with my ring on your hand.” You sat there... staring at the absolute unit in the small box.
“Do I have to say the actual words, or?” You shook yourself and immediately started crying and shaking.
“Yes.”
“Er- ok, baby, will you mar-“
“No, no. I mean- yes I’ll marry you, you spoon.” Dacre smiled wide and slid the ring on your finger. Both of you were crying now, and hugging. And kissing. You finally pulled yourself away and held him at arm’s length.
“Wait, so some stranger knew that you were gonna propose to me before I did?”
“I mean, I asked your dad too! Plus, you’ll have to get used to strangers finding all our dirty secrets out if you’re gonna be Mrs. Montgomery.” You smiled as wide as you could, shaking your head at this grown ass man-child.
“I love you.” You didn’t hide the laughter in your words.
A strange woman Bucky is sure he knows but can’t fully recognize, picks him up after the fall of SHIELD. She claims to be friends with Steve and that she is here to help him. He can’t help but keep wondering where he knows her from; it’s definitely not through Steve Rogers. Can she help him be the man he wants to be or will the all too familiar struggles of being a super human overcome him?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OC Rowan O’Connor
Word Count: 4,344
Rating: M
Masterlist
Chapter 6
Chapter 8
Taglist: @xmarveled @spidey-the-killer-queen
Rowan quickly typed out a short message to let Bucky know what was happening and her estimated arrival back to Nagano. She had left him a little over two weeks ago, against her better judgement. He seemed to be doing alright; lightly teasing her about neglecting him and not bringing him along to play with the bad guys. He didn’t have a sparring partner since she’d split a couple days after they’d landed.
“Who ya talking to with that smile on your face?” Sam leaned over the space between his co-pilot seat and Rowan’s own seat in the quinjet. They were headed back to the compound from Hotel Mahayid.
“None of your business, Mr. Murtough.” Rowan teased Sam with his undercover name he’d used to sign up with the Hotel to gain entry. The team decided to send Sam in undercover for a recon mission. He was practically unknown in this area of the world. Steve and Natasha were too well known around the bad-guy neighborhoods at the moment, and Rowan was too close to Rumlow if he was up and moving around in the Hotel.
“Awe come on Rowan, we’ve been on a mission together. We’re practically besties now.”
“No.”
“Please?”
“Those big brown eyes aren’t going to help. I’ve had a lot of time to practice ignoring the puppy-dog look. Just ask Tony.” Sam huffed and crossed his arms over his chest playfully.
“Not even a little hint. I did get some good info for you guys this week. What about his initials?”
“How do you know it’s a ‘him’? It could be a woman.”
“You don’t strike me as a double agent, O’Connor.”
“Never know Sammy boy.” The two pilots laughed light-heartedly as the quinjet raced across the vast expanse of ocean. Rowan excused herself from the cockpit after she put the jet on autopilot to the Compound. Sam nodded as he leaned back and put his hands behind his neck.
“I’ll just be here, listening to sad music, feeling sorry for myself that you don’t wanna spend time with the coolest Avenger.” Rowan didn’t stop heading for the pullout cot towards the rear of the jet as she responded in a light tone,
“Oh come on Sam, we all know Thor’s the coolest.” Sam only laughed in response before the music turned up a few notches and Rowan shed her quarter zip jumper and boots before settling into the surprisingly comfortable cot. They still had around five hours of flight time before they hit New York.
She opened her encrypted phone and went through her messages once more, re-reading the messages Bucky had sent to her. She didn’t have time to read them earlier, and had sent Bucky a quick update letting him know she’d get back to them and respond post haste when she could get away from the Avengers prying eyes and ears. He’d sent a jumbled text about how he met some people in the small suburb of Nagano, and quickly learned he spoke fluent Japanese.
Rowan hadn’t been surprised, but Bucky was startled to say the least when an old woman had asked him where his wife was and he’d not only understood her, but had answered back without thinking in a flawless dialect. Rowan laughed to herself before asking Bucky what he’d told the woman about his wife being gone, since their cover was that they were spending their honeymoon in Nagano.
Told her you had to rush back to work. She offered to introduce me to her youngest daughter. Apparently she wouldn’t leave me for a job. – B
Being a fancy LA lawyer is very demanding. How else would I be able to leave you in Japan for two weeks until I can rejoin you? – R
Speaking of… How did everything go? – B
It went. We land in less than five hours. I plan to be headed back to you in less than six. I told the team I’ve gotta help a friend in Rwanda. – R
You and your friends. – B
Rowan smirked and put her phone in her pocket. She would update Bucky in person about the mission with Sam. Being apart from Bucky and only communicating through text was kind of nice, Rowan had to admit. It helped the awkward tension ebb away a little quicker. Bucky was opening up, she dared say.
He hadn’t had any more memory breaks, but he was talking with her about all the TV shows and movies he had been binging while Rowan was gone. She figured it was easier for Bucky to type stuff out than make eye contact, which was how she was handling getting along with him.
Sometimes she felt like she could be interacting with him better, but had to keep reminding herself that she took years to get back to herself, or at least as close to herself as she thought she was. Bucky at least had someone he could go back to in a sense. He would never be the old Bucky from the forties but those memories he’d regain would help shape the new Bucky.
-TTA-
After a quick debriefing at the Avengers Compound, Rowan said goodbye to everyone and tried to make her way as inconspicuously as possible to the hangar to board one of Tony’s private jets that’d take her back to Nagano Airport. She heard Steve jogging up the hallway and tried not to tense up.
“Rowan! Hey Rowan, wait up.” Rowan closed her eyes and sighed before turning around to face Steve. He was dressed similarly to her—Avengers logo’d long sleeve tee and well fitted joggers with black Brooks. Both of their respective uniforms were dirty enough to warrant a hasty change before the debriefing.
“What’s up Rogers?” Steve held eye contact for a beat before he lowered his chin and looked towards his shoes. Rowan tried not to hold her breath; she had a feeling she knew where Steve was headed.
“Listen, Rowan, please just let me know that he’s okay at least. I’ve done everything but get on my knees and beg.”
“Wouldn’t mind you on your knees, Cap.”
“O’Connor, this isn’t the time for one of your quips to try and get me to back off.” Rowan looked up at Steve when he raised his gaze from his shoes to her face. He wasn’t flushed like he usually was when she cracked a joke to mess with him. She held her gaze and blinked lightly, trying to come off as bored and unbothered by his pressing the matter of Bucky.
“Listen Steve, I’ve told you if I found anything, you’d be the first to know.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me when you guys left Bucktown and disappeared? Huh? Because it seems to me that you and I have a different definition of letting me know when you find my best friend.”
“Ouch, how would Sam feel about you leaving him for Bucky?” Steve puffed his chest, face getting red with anger. He crossed his arms tightly, fabric of his shirt stretching almost painfully looking across his taught muscles.
“Damnit Rowan! I know it was you two in Bucktown! Natasha told me about your Chechnya accident; your leg gave it away. Please. Just… If you won’t tell me where he is or bring him in then… Just let me know he’s okay. He’s my best friend.” Rowan took a few breaths and cocked her hip before replying to Steve.
“Steve, I—“
“Rowan, listen, I talked to Nat about what he might be going through… As much as it stings, I get if he doesn’t want to come home; that he might not really be himself. Or—or even remember who he used to be. I won’t bug you about him anymore. I just want to know he’s okay and that he’s on the road to recovery.
“I trust you with him. I mean—yeah I’d like for it to be me out there helping him out, but I can understand why you might be the better option. So just keep him safe for me? And I’ll keep my door open for whenever you guys are ready to come home. This is your home Rowan, got it? You’re always welcome here.”
Rowan knew that if they knew half the shit she’s done she wouldn’t be wanted as much as Steve offered. She had promised that she wouldn’t tell Steve that she knew where Bucky was or if she was with him. But… it warmed a spot in her chest hearing Steve say with absolute conviction that she had a home with them, and that he trusted her to help Bucky.
Steve sighed with a small smirk on his face when Rowan mimicked a salute before nodding and mockingly calling behind her an ‘Aye aye Cap!’ That was probably the closest he was going to get to her telling him that she knew where Bucky was and that she would take care of him. Rowan kept her head down the rest of the walk to the jet. She barely nodded to the pilots when she boarded the jet, and tried not to think about how lucky Bucky was to have someone care that much about him.
She wondered if she’d ever feel that way about someone. She had Nat, but she knew if Nat couldn’t get herself out of a situation, it was low odds Rowan would be able to help her. She tried mentally shook her head and sent a quick text to Bucky before the jet left the runway. Once he responded with a sarcastic ‘finally’, Rowan shut off her phone and fell into a fitful sleep.
-TTA-
The sky was dark and stormy when Bucky met Rowan at the front gate of the safe house. It had taken her a few days of travel to make it back. She had landed in Rwanda and chartered a few other planes and busses before making it safely back to Nagano. Bucky held the gate open and quickly scanned the empty street before closing it behind Rowan as she brushed by him.
“So, how’d it go? Did anyone find out anything?” Rowan took a moment to pull off her rain jacket and sit down at the dining room table. Bucky stood with his hip slightly cocked and arms crossed over his thick chest. Rowan admired the hard lines of his shoulders before meeting his eyes and sighing slightly.
“They know something. Not sure what exactly. They saw us before we left Chicago but lost us shortly after. They don’t know where we are. Steve kept prying at me until he eventually just accepted that I wasn’t going to tell him definitively whether you were with me or not, so he just asked that I take care of you and to come home whenever you’re ready. Apparently we’re honorary members of the Avengers now.” Bucky blew air out his nose and let his lips raise in a small smile.
Rowan almost saw the crinkles in the corners of his eyes. Bucky moved over to the teapot that was steaming on the stove and poured it in two coffee cups. Handing one to Rowan, he sat down across from her on rested his elbows on the glass table.
“So what do you think we should do? Continue to Constanta? Or reroute?” Rowan took a slow sip of her tea, thinking hard about what their next move should be.
“I suggest we head to Constanta, Tony has a house there and he’s fine with me using it.”
“He’s okay with you harboring one of the world’s most dangerous assassins? The one who murdered his parents?” Bucky didn’t meet Rowan in the eyes as he spoke his last sentence. He cleared his throat as Rowan waited for him to meet her dark eyes.
“He doesn’t… know about that.” It was Rowan’s turn to break eye contact.
“Yet. I totally planned on telling him and I… I couldn’t bring myself to do it right now. I know that’s a safe place for us to go. He won’t tell anyone if we use his properties. When the timing’s right, I’ll tell Tony. Are you okay with us going there? Or do you think we should relocate somewhere else?” Bucky wanted to tell Rowan about his nightmares that he’d had when she’d been away with Steve.
The flood of memories they brought back made his head ache and eyes burn with unshed tears as he remembered the broken screams and sharp inhales that Tony’s mother had taken in her last few moments of life. He remembered the blood spattering across his face as he shot Howard.
“Bucky? Are you alright? Have you remembered something?” Rowan had sat up a bit straighter in her chair as she looked expectantly toward Bucky.
“Not right now, but… While you were gone. I was going over our travel plans in the back garden and – I don’t know, something about thinking of Tony triggered my memory of the night I murdered his parents. It was horrible, Rowan.” Bucky cleared his throat before continuing; Rowan waited patiently, knowing she didn’t really have anything to say anyway. Bucky appreciated her silence and understanding gaze.
“I’d feel a bit more comfortable if we reroute, at least for a little while until these memories aren’t so fresh… Is that okay?”
“Yeah, totally! There was about three months where I couldn’t go anywhere near New York after I regained my memories from nine eleven.”
“What is nine eleven?”
“How about we make some more tea and get supper started before I go into that?” Rowan and Bucky shared a smile as they stood and moved around the small kitchen to prepare supper.
-TTA-
Rowan felt herself relax, listening to the rain pitter-patter softly against the old windows as she set the small kitchen table. She could hear Bucky over the loud droplets finishing up supper. Over the past three months the two super soldiers had been lying low in a smaller suburb of Prague.
The older townhouse had been in one of Rowan’s cover names for a few years. She had purchased it shortly after Natasha had given her free reign once she was cleared by SHIELD’s medical team to travel alone. Nat didn’t know about it, and that made both Bucky and Rowan feel a bit more comfortable about staying for a longer period of time.
They had fallen into a comfortable routine; on Tuesdays they’d visit the farmer’s market, Fridays the grocery store for things they couldn’t find at the market, Rowan usually visited the local library and movie store every Saturday, and the old hole-in-the-wall gym was visited every day but Sunday.
Bucky was averaging memory breakthroughs about two to three times a week, depending on the activities Rowan dragged him along. Though much to Bucky’s annoyance he didn’t think he hated the outings Rowan took him on. He was starting to feel more normal. He liked the domesticity they’d found.
Though neither could fix their constant surveillance—not that they really wanted to—Bucky admired that they seemed to fit in within the small suburb. Mostly older folks who kept to themselves; every once in a while Bucky would get caught up in conversation with someone while he was tending to the small windowsill herb and flower boxes that Rowan insisted he grow. He would never admit he enjoyed the brightly painted sill boxes.
There was radio silence from the Avengers. Rowan didn’t mind. She had texted back and forth a bit with Nat and Sam, catching up on training shenanigans they had been going through with the left over SHIELD agents. The Avengers Compound was hosting a rotation of Military divisions with hopes to help the loyal SHIELD agents to new homes in similar jobs to when they had been employed with SHIELD. Tony jokingly referred to it as his way of wiping out his own red ledger.
“Need any help Barnes?” Rowan had resorted to calling Bucky by his last name after the visit to their gym. He had started getting used to his metal arm so he wasn’t as worried about using it to its full potential while sparring anymore. Needless to say he’d kicked her ass tonight, and she was sore. He smirked and held out a knife for her.
“Sure, Rowan, how nice of you to ask. You can dice up this onion to sauté for me.” Rowan rolled her eyes but grabbed the knife anyway and started dicing.
“You’re lucky you make bomb ass food, Barnes.”
“A good husband should be able to cook a decent meal for his wife every once in a while.” Rowan smiled softly, that was their cover after all, and they often joked about it while out and about in public. She glanced sideways as Bucky flipped the steaks over. His brow was heavy, and she noticed his shoulders tense up a fraction before Bucky lost his breath and dropped the spatula.
“Barnes? Bucky, hey, what’s happening. You okay? Another memory?” Rowan was speaking rapidly; Bucky had been having pretty regular breakthroughs, but usually he’d just rub his temple, shut his eyes, and breathe for a few moments before regaining his composure. Rowan could tell this was quickly turning into a more serious recall. She set her knife down and turned towards the dark haired man fully. She kept her arms at her sides—slightly bent, as were her legs—ready to move if need be.
Bucky hadn’t said a word since his whispered sentence. Just stood with his eyes looking at the steak as it burned. It was like he was frozen. His mind raced at a million miles a second, but his body couldn’t keep up. The memories whizzing across his mind made his head hurt and breath hitch. It was too much. His most recent memories hadn’t come through like this lately. Flashes of a woman—taller than him—helping him smash potatoes.
‘A good husband should be able to cook a decent meal for his wife every once in a while.’
‘You’ll make some lucky woman very happy in the future, Bucky, I just know it.’
‘You’ll be the best husband in Brooklyn.’
The words flashed through his mind and glimpses of the kind, older woman helping him chop and stir and bake food pressed against the front of his head painfully.
Rowan had watched Bucky struggle to breathe for about three minutes before touching his shoulder. She knew this was not a good idea, but his face was turning slightly blue and her steak was beginning to burn. Before she knew it that silver arm had grabbed her dicing knife and swung at her abdomen. Thanks to her ass-whooping by that same arm earlier in the day, her reflexes weren’t as quick as normal.
Rowan cursed her bruised ribs for hindering herself from moving out of the way quick enough. The knife had sliced a sizeable gash in her side; it missed all her organs but still stung like a mother fucker. Thankfully the blood splatter seemed to knock Bucky out of his head enough to pull away before Rowan’s closed fist met his bearded cheek.
“Oh my god Rowan I’m so sorry.” Bucky dropped the knife and grabbed Rowan as she slid down the cabinets to the floor.
“It’s fine.” Bucky reached for the dish towel resting on the counter and pressed it against the bleeding gash on Rowan’s side. He didn’t want to hold the towel to her side; he wanted to go jump off a fucking bridge.
“No it’s not. Look what I did. You’re bleeding.”
“You’ve done much worse to me in the past Bucky. I promise, I’m fine. Go get the first aid bag out of the bathroom.” Bucky gently replaced his shaky hands with Rowan’s own and rushed to the small bathroom. When he returned, Rowan had pulled her tank top off and was sitting with her ankles crossed on the counter. The stove had been turned off.
Bucky gulped and averted his eyes away from her sports bra as he got out the supplies so he could stitch her side up. The bleeding had subsided for the most part, but stitches would still help. He couldn’t bring himself to speak while he threaded the needle.
Rowan focused hard at the crease between Bucky’s eyebrows as he threaded a little too deep through the fat of her side. She wasn’t mad at him—how could she be? Had she not done the same thing—worse things—to Natasha and innocent people while she was still healing? In all reality it’d only been about five months since Bucky had been out of HYDRA’s grasp.
Relatively speaking he was recovering far quicker than she had anticipated. The shaking of his hands and deafening silence told Rowan that Bucky was mad at himself and probably still didn’t accept that what’d he’d done was completely normal for this completely abnormal situation.
“I have this dream—nightmare, really—that Nat and I are on this train going through the Ireland countryside… It’s a beautiful day, there’s children running up and down the aisle way and the conductor is giving some commentary on the different castles we pass. So we’re going along and all of a sudden I look out and on this far away hill is a small castle. And I can’t remember the name but I know with absolute certainty I’ve been there before. And then there are flashes of a man and woman, they’re kind of sickly looking. But they’re smiling. They’re always smiling down at me. And we’re in this castle.
“Then the next thing I can remember my face is covered in blood. There’s a man’s arm in my hand, only he’s five seats down. There’s a window busted open, rain is pouring in and people are crying and screaming. I don’t know what happened. I felt—like I was being electrocuted… It… I don’t know. It’s not even that I ripped some guys arm off. It was the rain that sticks out the most to me. It had been so clear and beautiful that day—odd for Ireland. And maybe I had blacked out for longer than I thought… I’m not sure.
“I’ve not told Nat about the dream. I’m… I’m scared as fuck Bucky. I’m scared because I think it might be an actual memory and not just a nightmare. Sometimes I can still feel the electricity coursing through my muscles like it did in the dream.” Rowan had been staring at the wrinkle in Bucky’s brow for so long she almost jumped when the crease disappeared and steel blue eyes blinked in front of her.
“You’re parents. Those sick people. That’s who you were at the castle with.”
“Yeah. Least I think so. I hope so. They looked like they loved me a lot.” Bucky didn’t say anything as he threw away the blood soaked towel and burnt steaks. He gathered up the medical supplies and returned them to the bathroom down the hall. He helped Rowan put her torn shirt back on and propped himself against the counter, looking down.
“You’re gonna hurt people Bucky. You’re human. Better me than some civilian. Don’t beat yourself up about it, okay? That’s my job.” Rowan didn’t have to force the smile that came to her lips. Bucky smiled, but Rowan figured it was for a different reason.
“My mom. She taught me to cook. That’s… She used to tell me that to be a good husband I’d need to be able to cook for my wife. She taught me how to make a lot of things. It was… Nice. My dad wasn’t around whole lot.” Rowan put her hand on his shoulder without hesitation this time and Bucky appreciated the small gesture.
It reassured him that there was at least one person who wasn’t afraid of him. Rowan squeezed once before hopping off the counter and getting another pair of steaks out of the fridge. When she didn’t speak, Bucky took that as an invitation to continue.
“I guess these past few months of… Doing normal people things brought up the memory. Though I’m not sure why my reaction was so violent. I haven’t been that bad since the first month you found me” Bucky threw away the bloodied onion slices and grabbed another after he’d cleaned the counter top.
He let Rowan start the steaks this time. The oddness of the discussion they were having and the familiar motions they were going through didn’t pass by either of them unnoticed. It was weird.
“You have been doing really well. But a lot of your recent memories have been from not that long ago. The worst reactions I had were when I remembered things from before I was taken. It seems that’d be the same case for you. Cooking with your mother was before you were taken by HYDRA. There’s more shit to fight through to get to that memory. Makes sense.”
“Thanks, Rowan.”
“For what?”
“This… The whole domestic routine. It’s… nice. I know it won’t last very long. But I enjoy it. I feel bad sometimes because I can tell you don’t seem as relaxed with it as you could be. But I still appreciate it.” Rowan felt her stomach turn a little in a way that she did not like. But she didn’t stop the soft smile that turned her lips upward, or the soft nudge she gave Bucky as they domestically cooked supper together.
“No problem Bucky. And don’t go around getting a big head about it, but this domestic shit isn’t that bad with you.”
A strange woman Bucky is sure he knows but can’t fully recognize, picks him up after the fall of SHIELD. She claims to be friends with Steve and that she is here to help him. He can’t help but keep wondering where he knows her from; it’s definitely not through Steve Rogers. Can she help him be the man he wants to be or will the all too familiar struggles of being a super human overcome him?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OC Rowan O’Connor
Word Count: 3,619
Rating: M
Masterlist
Chapter 5
Chapter 7
Taglist: @xmarveled @spidey-the-killer-queen
Rowan woke up sweating; normal for nights she stayed at Stark Tower. She really didn’t know why she stayed here. Especially tonight. She could have stayed at the Compound upstate, but Natasha and Steve were there. She was aching to get back to Japan and she knew if Nat was in the vicinity she wouldn’t be able to keep her anxiousness hidden well enough.
She couldn’t imagine how Bucky was dealing with her just up and leaving, even though she had left Warren’s contact info with him. But Natasha was already on her case and she didn’t need the red-head and Steve annoying the piss out of her anymore. She had to keep a semi-normal point of contact with them. That meant checking in every few weeks, like she had been for the past five years.
She couldn’t say with absolute truth that she hated it. She really did consider Natasha her closest friend, and she enjoyed the company of everyone else at the Tower; Tony the most. He understood her in ways most of the others couldn’t.
Natasha had demons about her past, but she dealt with them alone. Rowan could go to her about trivial things, and knew about all her other deep, dark secrets, but in the end Nat never had the grace of dealing with the things Rowan really needed to talk about. The ex-assassin tried too hard to be heartfelt; the exact opposite of what Rowan needed it seemed.
A couple years ago when Steve first started working for SHIELD, Rowan was consulting with them pretty consistently. Tony concocted a “Stark Super-Lit Serum” for Steve and herself to allow them to get drunk. Naturally, Rowan goaded Steve into trying it one night when they found themselves in the empty common room at three in the morning.
Lots of secrets and insecurities were spoken of that night; only half of which were remembered. Other than that, Rowan didn’t consider herself a gossipy, teenage girl type woman. There was one person she trusted with her darkest secrets and insecurities. For a while it was Warren, but after she ran away from her feelings, their current relationship at best was friends-with-benefits. As much as she cringed to say it out loud, that one person she so deeply trusted was Anthony Stark.
Why? She wasn’t exactly sure. She was guessing it was from all the trauma. Yes, she shared similar spy-training trauma with Natasha. As well as similar war-time trauma with Steve. She had even started sharing some memories with Bucky. But there was something about sharing semi-similar trauma with people who will just listen and give sometimes-shitty, honest-with-heartfelt-intention advice.
Rowan walked out onto the helipad of Stark Tower, where Tony liked to show off his giant, neon, energy-efficient logo for Stark Industries. It was foggy and a little too nippy for Rowan’s attire, with a slight spring drizzle frizzing up her curls. But she didn’t need perfect night vision to see who she was headed towards. She had been sure he’d be out here. Knew he’d be alone. Pepper was probably still working on something. Rowan really admired that woman for her work ethic.
“Ant.” The assassin sat down softly, letting her lower legs fall over the edge of the hundred story building.
“You know I hate that name, and if you didn’t look the way you do I’d definitely fire you for calling me that.” Tony could feel the warmth of Rowan’s body, her legging-clad knee touching his own, shoulder resting at the same angle.
He briefly wondered what her bare skin would feel like, scientifically speaking of course; with the super soldier serum coursing through her veins. Was it as hot as it felt through her clothes? It was different than Steve’s - technically speaking. He’d have to ask her about running some tests.
“You wish I worked for you,” Rowan said with a light chuckle. Tony smirked as he looked up at the dark sky, trying to spot a star.
“You know Romania is the best spot for star-gazing. Late spring, early summer they get the best meteor showers. Scientists say its coincidence from the Big Bang or some hog-wash, but all of us intellectuals know it’s from the space aliens celebrating the moon landing.”
“Yeah, the moon landing was late June.”
“I know, Tony.” The brunette let his chin rest against his chest, accepting that he should probably retain this little snippet of conversation he and the super-powered woman just had.
Rowan had her eyes set on the World Trade Center Memorial building, brightly lit even in the middle of the city that never slept. She wanted to tell Tony of her plans that involved Bucky, but knew now wasn’t the time. She figured the one clue was enough for now. Tony was an intelligent man.
She needed to talk though. If she didn’t talk about something, she’d end up talking about Bucky, and she knew Tony didn’t want to know about the one thing Steve and her kept from him about The Winter Soldier. That wasn’t her place she felt. So she talked about the other thing on her mind that no one else knew.
“Nine eleven was an inside job.”
“No shit, Sherlock.” Tony spoke immediately, but the statement was half-hearted. Rowan didn’t speak. Tony let his russet eyes find her own jade-shaded. Rowan’s gaze fell to her lap. Tony knew from the silence this was going to be another therapy session and that the questions about testing her furnace-like warmth would have to wait.
He was totally here for it; even if he didn’t get to vent about anything, knowing that someone like Rowan felt comfortable enough to speak about her own highly-confidential past gave him a special sense of self-worth. As dumb as that sounded. He had no real rebuttal for her silence, so he said the first thing that came to mind.
“Shit, kid.”
“I’m older than you.” The two shared a strained smile. Tony kept quiet, waiting for Rowan to find her words. He knew there was a lot about the Sector that SHIELD didn’t know about. He doubted SHIELD would ever know every little thing about The Sector. He didn’t blame Rowan for burning every paper copy referring to her captors.
Tony steered his mind clear of the jump drive containing anything that was left concerning The Sector. Rowan trusted him and only him to keep that information safe. Even though he knew no one could read his mind, he still tried to refrain from thinking of the lone drive sitting in a lock box in his bedside table drawer. He kept quiet, handing the half empty whiskey bottle to Rowan. She only smiled ruefully and rested her head on his shoulder.
“I wish that could get me drunk.”
“I got some Super-Lit Serum in the cabinet if you want some.” Tony started to get up, pausing when Rowan put a hand on his thigh.
“No need Stark. I just need to talk a bit. Nothing too sinister.”
“Nine eleven sounds pretty sinister to me kid.” He was slurring his words a tad, but if Rowan noticed, she didn’t let on… He was thankful.
“I’m literally thirty five years older than you Tony.” The man ignored the age comment. He cleared his throat and rested his own head against Rowans.
“How’d you do it?” Rowan could honestly say, at least in her own mind, that at that moment, she loved Anthony Edward Stark. No bullshit trying to reassure her that she didn’t know what she was doing at the time. No chick-flick moments.
“It was all remote controlled. The men who seemed to be taking over the planes were all AI machines. The plans for the AI systems were stolen from a young recruit within SHIELD. They weren’t quite complete at the time I found them but the lad was on the right track. Just a few refined algorithms and some newer tech from The Sector and we had self-sacrificing dummies that were all controlled from a little flat in Galway.”
“Why?”
“Cause Garrett told me to.” Rowan really wasn’t sure of the political motivation that The Sector would gain from devastating one of the United States’ most populated cities. All she could guess was that The Sector just wanted to see the US grow stronger and closer while the rest of the world was blamed for things they never knew were happening until it was too late. She was put back in the cryo chamber at eleven a.m. on September eleventh two thousand and one. She had been congratulated for her success. “Success” she still got nauseous over even thirteen years later.
Tony raised his head and turned towards Rowan, resting his left hand on her shoulder. Rowan appreciated the gesture. It kept her dominant left hand free to grab her glock that was strapped to her thigh above her leggings if needed.
“That sucks Rowan. A lot of people died that day. A lot of lives changed.” Tony paused, not sure what to say next. He thought about what business his own company had been in at the time of nine eleven. They made a lot of money off that war… Money he wasn’t proud of.
“You can’t change any of that now though. You know it was wrong and there’s nothing to do that’ll change anything, so you gotta just… Let it go.”
“How am I supposed to let it go Tony? Just like that? I killed almost three thousand people. Innocent people. You know… I try to make up stories in my head. About how somehow, none of them were innocent. But you know it’s impossible. I still have nightmares about it.” Rowan lifted her head from Tony’s shoulder only to place it in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees.
She looked down the hundred story drop, wondering if she jumped now, how long the fall would be and how long her body would try to fight to survive the landing before she died. Tony shook his head and pulled her back by her shoulder. He dragged her a few feet back from the ledge and faced them away from the Memorial Tower. He embraced her almost awkwardly, not sure if a hug was what the assassin needed at the moment. Her skin was hot to the touch, burning almost fever-like.
“Because that’s the only thing you can do besides what you’re already doing, kid.” Rowan let the nickname slide this time. She was past jokes now. This conversation got real too quickly for her liking.
“Trying to erase my red ledger by helping the World’s Mightiest Heroes? Right.” Rowan’s features stayed dark. That might help Natasha feel better but Rowan knew she could never make up for what she had done.
“Well yes, you being my sidekick is definitely helping you out. But I’m talking more specifically about the ex-HYDRA Asset you’re harboring in Romania.” Rowan relaxed a bit.
“He’s actually in Nagano right now. I plan to be in Romania at the end of June.” Tony leaned back and threw a smile towards Rowan. She returned the smile, visibly relaxing into Tony. She was relieved the man picked up her breadcrumb.
“Did you think it’d take me that long to figure out where you guys would be?”
“I’d never underestimate you Stark.” The sky was starting to lighten off to the east. Rowan welcomed the pre-dawn tint of the horizon. One more day down, one more day closer to returning to Bucky. It’d only been a month but she had started to enjoy her routine with the super soldier.
“I’ll send a jump drive with you when you head out. It’ll have all the info you need for my condo there. You’re welcome to it while you need it.” Rowan didn’t smile right away.
She didn’t want to take Tony’s hand-outs, but she also didn’t want to go to many of her safe houses in Europe. Natasha knew where a lot of them were and the ones she didn’t know about, she’d find eventually. They could utilize Tony’s condo indefinitely in theory. Steve wouldn’t think to look at any of Tony’s hundreds of properties all over the world.
Rowan was torn. At that moment she wanted to tell Tony about Bucky killing his parents. He deserved to know. But she wasn’t sure if she were the right person to tell him. That file was one that was not in with a lot of the online documents. A few people knew about that date and what really happened.
But if it wasn’t her place to tell him, whose was it? Fury’s? Steve’s? Natasha’s? Should she tell Pepper and have her disclose the information? No; she didn’t need to drag Pepper into this mess. But if Rowan told Tony, she wasn’t sure what would happen with them. She considered Tony a good friend, and she was helping the man who murdered his parents; whether said man remembered or not.
Best case scenario he wouldn’t help her out anymore. Worst case scenario… She thought at first it’d be him telling Steve what her plans were before realizing Tony would probably just seek revenge on Bucky and kill him, if he could.
Fuck it. She’d hidden from Tony’s prying eyes before, she could do it again.
“Tony, there’s something else you should know…” Rowan paused, trying to gather her strength for what she was about to say. She hadn’t been this nervous in a long time. Tony looked her way. Rowan noticed his relaxed posture, ready to continue the weird conversation they’d been having as if talking about the weather. His dark brown eyes were inviting her to finish.
“There you two are! What are you talking about out here?” Pepper stepped out of the sliding glass door and walked over to where Tony and Rowan were sat on the small helipad. The clicking of her heels stopped just short of the two figures facing each other sitting Indian style on the concrete.
“Rowan was just telling me some of her deepest, darkest secrets from her evil days.” Both Pepper and Rowan rolled their eyes. Pepper wasn’t sure how else to respond; she knew Tony was telling the truth.
“Well, on a possibly lighter note, the video conference is dialed up for Natasha, Steve, and Sam from the Compound.” Rowan hesitated while Tony stood up and stretched. He kissed Pepper on the cheek and wrapped an arm around her waist as the couple looked down towards Rowan.
She had closed her eyes and was breathing in deeply. She was so not ready to talk to anyone anymore. She looked toward the edge of the helipad one more time before exhaling dramatically and heaving herself up. The conversation with Tony about his parents would have to wait until after the video conference.
-TTA-
“Happy birthday, by the way. Since you didn’t come to your own birthday party. Tony threw it just for you.” Rowan rolled her eyes towards the big screen projector showing Natasha, Steve, and Sam’s faces.
“Thanks.” Rowan rolled her eyes playfully towards the trio in front of her as she slapped Tony on the shoulder.
“I didn’t know it was your birthday, gorgeous. When was it? How old are you now, twenty-three?” Sam’s deep voice slid easily through the speakers, making Rowan smile despite herself.
“It was April second, and I’m eighty-four.” Sam’s eyes widened for a moment before he composed himself. Natasha rolled her eyes and Steve looked between the two with raised eyebrows.
“Damn girl, you lookin’ fine for eighty-four. You’ll have to show me where the fountain of youth is.”
“I’d love to darling, but I can’t.”
“Why’s that?”
“I blew it up.” Rowan’s smile faded from her lips and her demeanor darkened. Sam cleared his throat and Steve took over the conversation.
“Right, so. Have you got any news on Bucky’s whereabouts?” Rowan kept her eyes on Steve’s troubled blue ones.
“No, though I’ve got a couple people caught up on the situation regarding Sergeant Barnes. They’ll update me if he slips up somewhere. I’ll send you their files and contact info.” Steve stared at her hard, waiting for her to show any sign of a lie. She just had to know where he was. Rowan kept Steve’s gaze until he blinked.
She was a master liar and manipulator, but she could honestly say she didn’t technically know Bucky’s exact location at that moment. She also did have a couple people caught up on the situation… and they would inform her if he popped up on any type of surveillance system anywhere in the world. Tony and a friend over at MI6, who she was scheduled to meet up with after she rendezvoused with Bucky back in Japan. See, she didn’t always lie.
“Right. Well… Thanks Rowan, I really appreciate it.”
“No problem Rogers. So…” Rowan let a smile form on her lips.
“Tony said I get to kill some people?” Natasha rolled her eyes. Sam covered a laugh and Steve just looked downright uncomfortable. He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to how Rowan acted sometimes. Tony stepped in front of Rowan to bring up some photocopied papers on the screens.
The two-way cameras closed out just as Rowan caught Natasha’s gaze. Rowan tried to keep her composure but she could tell by Nat’s bright green eyes the red head knew she was withholding information from the group.
“We think Rumlow was spotted at Hotel Mahayid.” Rowan whipped her head in Tony’s direction.
“What do you mean you ‘think’ you spotted him? I thought he was dead.” Rowan moved closer to the touch screen and enlarged a picture of a man being carried into a decrepit building on the outskirts of what looked to be a desert city. It was dated two weeks after the fall of SHIELD. Tony stepped back and let Natasha take over.
“We say ‘think’ because, as you can tell from what pictures we do have, the guys face is so disfigured we can’t really be sure.” Natasha’s thick voice came through the ongoing conference call. Rowan could barely hear anything over the blood rushing to her ears as Natasha clicked a few buttons on her end of the computer.
“So wait. That guy who was a double agent for HYDRA and SHIELD is still alive? Don’t these mother fuckers know how to just stay dead? And what is Hotel Mahayid? Sounds Arabic.” Sam’s distinct voice filled the room. Rowan smirked at his question about people staying dead. She liked him despite the obnoxious flirting.
“Hotel Mahayid is a hotel in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. It’s more or less a hotel for anyone who knows it’s there. But it’s not advertised to the public. Spies and assassins are the most frequent visitors, but you’ll see drug lords and the like there as well.
“It’s a completely neutral ground for anyone. No weapons, no grudges, no maiming, no killing. Even threats aren’t taken kindly. You need a membership to even enter the property.” Rowan recalled what she knew about Hotel Mahayid to the others.
Recalling fondly of some good times she’d had there. She wished desperately that her and Bucky could hole up there for a bit but knew that too many enemies would spill about them being there once they left the property. It wasn’t worth it.
“Okaaaay. Why don’t we just set up shop outside the front doors, he really can’t hide in there forever can he?”
“Good thinking Sam, but unfortunately that’s also against one of their many rules. You can’t wait at the doors, or even within two miles of the Hotel. They operate completely under a neutral treaty with everyone.” Natasha furrowed her brows as she explained to Sam the difficulties of dealing with the Hotel.
It was nice for a spy or someone of the like when in a pinch. But she wasn’t sure if they could use any of the rules to the team’s advantage in this situation. Rowan cut in, trying to let Steve and Sam know the difficulty they would have if they tried to break the treaty.
“The Hotel has the best security system besides Stark Technology. While I’ve no doubt Tony’ll be able to hack it and follow what goes on in there remotely, I know that once Rumlow leaves we won’t be able to do a damn thing until he is out of that two mile mark. The Hotel has snipers at the ready above and below ground keeping a watchful eye on their property within the treaty.”
“You keep saying treaty. I personally don’t remember signing anything.” Steve’s sarcastic quip would have earned pinch to his bicep if Rowan had been in his presence. She briefly wondered if she and Steve would have gotten along well back when he wasn’t Captain America as well. She liked the sarcastic, cocky side of Steve. He didn’t show it too often around her.
“It’s an unspoken treaty. Everyone knows the rules. If you break them, you die. That’s it. No government agency publicly acknowledges that the Hotel even exists, but a lot of agents and officers use it. It has a state-of-the-art hospital in it. It’s been around since the twenties. It’s pretty much impenetrable. If we’re gonna pull this off, we need to do it right. I can’t go in there, I’d be recognized by Rumlow. I think we all would, except for Sammy boy.” Rowan finished her sentence with a smirk towards the ex pilot. He clapped his hands together and nodded his head.
A strange woman Bucky is sure he knows but can’t fully recognize, picks him up after the fall of SHIELD. She claims to be friends with Steve and that she is here to help him. He can’t help but keep wondering where he knows her from; it’s definitely not through Steve Rogers. Can she help him be the man he wants to be or will the all too familiar struggles of being a super human overcome him?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OC Rowan O’Connor
Word Count:3,292
Rating: M
Masterlist
Chapter 4
Chapter 6
Taglist: @xmarveled @spidey-the-killer-queen
Bucky waited until he heard Rowan make her way down the hall on the opposite side of the cabin. She must feel comfortable enough here not to worry about sneaking around. Bucky sat his small overnight bag on the toilet before looking at the various pictures hanging on the sky blue walls. Beaches were the background in most of them, with various occupants in the foreground. Bucky let his eyes linger on the two in most of them.
If he hadn’t known any better, he would have bet money that the woman in the pictures was not Rowan O’Connor. The woman in the beach photographs looked… happy… and carefree. She was smiling in all of them; her green eyes bright in the sunlight, freckles sticking out loudly over her cheekbones. Her dark auburn hair that Bucky had known the last few days had vibrant streaks of sun-bleached red throughout it.
Warren looked about the same as he did now. Sky blue eyes wide and warm, typically found resting on the red-headed woman next to him. His hair was quite a bit longer in the photos – sporting a man-bun as Rowan had called it – instead of shorter on the sides with floppy, lazy curls along the top that he had now. They looked happy. They looked in love.
A sharp pang hit Bucky in the pit of his stomach. He wondered somberly if there were any pictures of this nature somewhere in someone’s attic of him and a woman. Had he ever been that happy? Before the war, before the Howling Commando’s? Bucky lifted his left arm. He knew nothing happy had come after he lost that.
There was no way there were any happy feelings after HYDRA had gotten to him. He shook his head to rid himself of the sour thoughts that had started to plague his mind. He started the shower, keeping in mind of the switched hot and cold dials.
As the water heated up, he let his eyes wander back over the pictures. There was another picture he hadn’t studied earlier, one to the left side of the sink. It was of a little brown haired girl, probably around five or six, sitting on Rowan’s lap. She shared the same sea-blue eyes of Warren. The two girls were smiling from ear to ear, hugging each other closely.
The shadow of a figure with wings curled up against wide shoulders gave away the photographer as Warren. He wondered why Rowan and Warren weren’t together any longer; they clearly still had feelings for one another.
As steam started filling up the edges of the picture frames, Bucky stripped his clothes and gingerly slipped behind the shower curtain. He let his thoughts wander to the plan Rowan had roughly laid out for them, trying to find any plot holes.
When the scalding water had finally fizzled out into a lukewarm stream, Bucky begrudgingly stepped out of the shower and onto the sand-colored floor mat. He quickly dried himself off and wrapped a towel around his waist.
Grabbing another towel for his hair, he stepped in front of the mirror as he tried to remember how to wrap his hair as Rowan had showed him back in her apartment in Chicago. After running out of patience, he threw the towel onto the toilet and grabbed the wide toothed comb Rowan had given him. He slowly ran the comb through his damp hair, letting his eyes roam over his reflection.
He had expected scars when he first had taken a shower back in Chicago. Hell, after reading about himself on the internet he had expected a lot more than he had found. Rowan had explained about their abilities. Specifically the faster healing and higher tolerance to pain.
She had mentioned that the smaller, less life-threatening wounds usually didn’t scar. They both shared some of the same type of scars on their forearms and lower legs. Rowan even had a long, thin scar running the length of her neck on the right, just behind where her carotid artery was.
Bucky focused his eyes on the slightly foggy mirror in front of him. His torso was littered with scars; big and small. Some looked like puncture wounds, others like long, jagged rips. He put the comb down and ran his right hand down a rather long, raised scar that marred his right pectoral.
It ran from his shoulder to below his nipple. The skin was raised where some type of blade must have ripped through his chest. It must have been pretty bad to scar this much. He lowered his right arm and lifted his left hand to the pink, jagged scar.
It still majorly freaked him out that this part of him could be gentle and feel something like this so tenderly. He knew that the arm was intricately integrated into his nervous system; it was just astonishing to him. As he watched his metal fingers graze over the scar on his right pec, his eyes glided up the rest of the silver appendage, until they inevitably landed on his left shoulder.
The skin where the metal — a mix of mostly adamantium with some traces of vibranium – met the rest of his muscular shoulder was an angry bright pink. The raised skin was a loud interruption of the otherwise smooth expanse of the rest of his shoulder up to his neck and back. It seemed as if the bionic arm had protected most of this area over the years.
Bucky felt the unfamiliar sting of hot tears threatening to fall. How many times had he used this monstrosity of an arm to hurt people? Sure, according to the article Rowan had showed him it had said dozens, if not hundreds of recorded accounts of assassinations and murders.
But how many missions had been kept off the books? He faintly remembered that the two children from his latest memory recovery were off the record. His head didn’t hurt much as he searched through that memory, so he let his mind wander a bit more.
He couldn’t remember much about the targets, though he knew that the young boy and girl he killed were the children of a senator that was part of HYDRA. A higher up executive that hadn’t been cooperating lately. So to show that HYDRA was serious about their employees and allies, they had his children murdered.
There was never officially anyone charged with their murder – lots of United States senators were targeted throughout the years for political gain – usually their families were left out of it though. The Senator quickly stopped his shenanigans with SHIELD and dedicated the rest of his life to helping HYDRA.
Satisfied with the small memory and information that came along with it, Bucky shook those thoughts from his mind and gathered his things from the bathroom. As he crossed the small hallway, he could hear Rowan and Warren laughing softly from the living room. There was a fire burning in the fireplace and Bucky could hear the tea kettle just starting to whistle. He couldn’t think of anything he really needed so he headed into his room for the night.
He didn’t bother getting under the covers, and slept in the clothes he planned on wearing tomorrow. He guessed it was a habit of his from his HYDRA days. The routine of laying out his weapons and changing into tomorrow’s clothing felt like too familiar.
He almost made himself change into a pair of sleep pants and shirt, but decided against it. He was already in an unfamiliar house, and he had to be up in less than five hours anyhow. Plus the thunder and lightning that were starting up didn’t help his anxiety. Every time he heard the boom of thunder, his head would ache as though a memory wanted to break through.
He glanced at the bright green lights of the alarm clock next to his head. It read one twenty two in the morning… then two forty five… and eventually fifteen short minutes till five. Bucky felt like he hadn’t even blinked. He wasn’t too miffed about not getting any sleep. He hated to even admit it to himself, but he didn’t want to have any nightmares.
He had thankfully not woken Rowan up the night they had stayed in her apartment in Chicago. He doesn’t remember what he had been dreaming about, but he woke up in a cold sweat, tangled in gray sheets that were soaked. He tried so hard to recall what had him so worked up, but for the life of him he couldn’t bring the images forward.
He rolled out of bed and picked up his overnight bag, already having packed it after his shower. After making the bed he walked down the hallway silently and set his bag down by the front door. Looking around the living room, he noticed the fire from the night before was down to hot coals.
He let his eyes wander over to Rowan and Warren passed out on the plush leather couch. Their mouths were hanging open and Warren had his head in Rowan’s lap. One wing was squished underneath him and the other was spread across the back of the couch. Bucky briefly wondered if Warren could get kinks in his wings like someone getting kinks in their necks.
He brushed the thought away and left the two alone, they still had ten minutes before Rowan had said to meet. He figured they wouldn’t leave until half past five anyway. He made his way over to the kitchen and turned the lights on.
He let his eyes adjust briefly to the bright light and made his way over to what he assumed was the coffee maker. Rowan had shown him how to use one in Chicago and they had gotten some from a place called Starbucks before they had hit the highway. He learned he liked his coffee with a couple cubes of sugar and a splash of creamer.
Warrens coffee machine looked a bit different than Rowan’s had and it took him a couple tries before he figured out that he had to spoon the coffee grounds into the small cup before closing the lid and pressing the button for the largest serving of coffee. He grabbed a coffee cup from the cupboard and set it under where the coffee was to pour out.
He quickly found the coffee creamer and had some trouble finding the sugar. The blonde angel man didn’t have any cubes like Rowan did, so Bucky just guessed as he poured the sugar into his steaming mug. As he finished stirring the creamer and sugar into his coffee, he turned around slowly as he heard Rowan jump awake from a clap of thunder.
-TTA-
The rain had caused some delay in their trip out to the ranger station Warren had secured for them. They had to back track as one of the roads had washed out, putting them a couple hours behind schedule. As Warren pulled up to a small gravel parking lot, Bucky took in his surroundings.
Trees. Everywhere. He hadn’t seen a plane fly over since the skies had somewhat cleared for the last half hour of their trip. He hadn’t even seen another car or any trace of another human since they had left Warren’s cabin.
Not that Bucky was complaining. He wasn’t the most comfortable around other people anyway. He was barely comfortable around Rowan. Though he had grown to somewhat like Warren. The blonde man had made small talk with him along the way to the cabin, with Rowan speaking up every now and again. Bucky didn’t talk much, but Warren didn’t seem to mind.
“And so somehow, not sure exactly, this ring just snaps my wings into some extra dimension called… What did the she call it Row-boat?” Rowan shook her head at the nickname and answered for him.
“The Mirror Dimension. And she’s a student of the Mystic Arts. I’ve helped her out in the past, so she owed me a favor.” Bucky nodded even though he didn’t understand one thing that Warren had told him. He tried his best to make small talk though, for the sake of not having an awkward silence like last night.
“So, Warren, what made you want to live a life… not as a super hero? It seems like they’re pretty popular nowadays.” Buck cleared his throat, not exactly comfortable with the subject, but he needed to try. He was going to have to integrate into society at some point he knew.
He knew The Winter Soldier side of him was flawless at blending in with a crowd, but how to pull that knowledge out of his mind was still unknown to him. Rowan and Warren could sense that this wasn’t Bucky’s easiest subject but the blonde man obliged anyway.
“Well, the life I had before I met Rowan was not a good one. I wasn’t in the best place. I eventually got out, with the help of a friend… Moved to a small town in Greece. I was still having some trouble from my old… employers. Anyway, that’s when I met Rowan. We had a mutual friend. She helped me out and the rest is kind of history as they say.” Bucky nodded. He could tell there was more to the story but he didn’t really care enough to pry, though his mind flashed to the little girl from the photographs at the beach. It wasn’t his business.
“Yeah, Rowan seems to like helping people.” Bucky said with a hint of teasing. He felt like the small tease would be taken well. Warren had done some heavier teasing before they left his cabin earlier. Bucky was correct in his assumption as he heard Warren and Rowan laugh from the front seat.
“I agree Sergeant, she’s an angel.” Rowan shook her head at Warren with a wry smile adorning her lips.
“More like a fallen angel.” Warren and Bucky frowned slightly at the more serious tone of her response. The truck fell silent for a couple moments before Warren’s voice filled the small space.
“Alright, I’m sorry love but this is the best I can do for you. I’m not gonna risk going down the old logging road. If route three was washed out, there’s no doubt that road is gone. It’s usually used as a riding trail now, I can’t remember the last time I took a vehicle down it.” Bucky could sense a bit of sorrow in Warren’s voice. Rowan nodded her head and smiled a bit.
“That’s alright War, we can manage. We are super soldiers after all.” Warren smiled and nodded his head as he put the diesel in park and exited. Rowan turned to Bucky and smiled,
“Hope you’re ready to get wet Sergeant.” Bucky looked outside once again and internally moaned at the incoming black clouds racing their way. There’s no way they could hike to the station before the storm reached them.
“Can’t wait.” He replied flatly. Rowan barked a laugh before she winked and got out of the truck, helping Warren unload their packs. Bucky sighed and grabbed his heavy back pack. He slung it over the back and secured the front strap before joining his companions.
“Alright, I’ve already unloaded most of the supplies you’ll need at the station. The power’s on and there’s a back-up generator with enough fuel to last you at least a week. The weather is supposed to clear up after the next couple of days. There’s wifi and such out there for you if you need it. My Netflix password is still the same if you get bored.”
Bucky zoned out as he realized the rest of the conversation wasn’t important for his survival. He walked around to the back of the truck and grabbed a few more supplies Warren had loaded last minute and strapped them to his back pack. He waited patiently as Rowan and Warren said their goodbyes.
Rowan furrowed her brow and planted a chaste kiss to Warren’s cheek before pulling away. Warren blinked and grabbed her face before pulling her in for a proper goodbye kiss. It was a little longer than necessary, but simple and sweet.
Rowan didn’t want to admit that she was worried about how long it would be until she got to spend any more quality time with Warren again. So she did what she does in any chick flick moment when she got uncomfortable, she shut herself out. She backed away and patted Warren awkwardly on his shoulder.
“Take care of yourself Worthington.” She backed away before he could do anything else and joined Bucky at the tailgate. Warren shook his head with a light frown on his face before he waved lightly.
“Take care. I’ll hope to see you in a week. Row-boat, Sergeant.” Warren got back in his truck and waited until Bucky and Rowan moved out of the way before starting it and slowly pulling out of the parking lot back onto the main road.
Rowan took a deep breath in and let it out before double checking her packs and faced Bucky, double checking his as well. He felt like a child again, when his mother would always double check his coat, scarf, and hat were secure before sending him out in the snow to walk to school.
“You’ve a funny look on your face, Barnes. ‘Nother memory?” Rowan pulled her hair back and braided it while she waited for Bucky to respond.
“More like a feeling… I think.”
“Of what?” Rowan secured her long braid and pulled her hood up over her head before doing the same to Bucky’s hood. Just in time for it to start sprinkling. Bucky shook his head and followed Rowan as she moved to the marked trail.
“Maybe? I can’t really see anything in particular like a memory would bring up. It’s more like… When you double checked I was all bundled and had everything I needed. I felt… looked after. Like my mom used to look after me; make sure I had everything for school and was dressed properly.” Bucky let his heavy brow lighten a bit at the feeling. He rather liked it. It made him feel good.
“That’s what every woman wants to hear from a handsome guy such as yourself Bucky. Remind you of your mum.” Rowan turned her head around to him and winked before slowing her pace to match his. They were already being rained on. What’s the difference how fast they hiked now anyhow?
Twenty minutes later they were standing under a dense pine tree. The rain was still pelting them, although not from above as it was before they found shelter.
“It’s raining sideways.”
“Okay, Forrest.”
“My name’s Bucky.” Rowan, despite being cold, yet somehow still mostly dry under her waterproof gear, let a loud cackle out at her companion’s response. She kept having to remind herself that Bucky had so much pop culture to catch up on.
“You’ve got so much to learn, Sergeant.”
-TTA-
After three days of staying at the ranger station, time spent mostly filling Bucky in on the pop culture he missed out on and sparring together, Rowan received an email marked urgent. The plane she had booked for the next leg of their trip had to be moved up to the end of the week.
She called Warren and informed him, ending the phone call with a melancholy but heartfelt goodbye before making more phone calls and sending a couple emails to change their original plans. Before Bucky knew it they were landing at a rural, but still busy airport in Nagano, Japan.
A strange woman Bucky is sure he knows but can’t fully recognize, picks him up after the fall of SHIELD. She claims to be friends with Steve and that she is here to help him. He can’t help but keep wondering where he knows her from; it’s definitely not through Steve Rogers. Can she help him be the man he wants to be or will the all too familiar struggles of being a super human overcome him?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OC Rowan O’Connor
Word Count: 4,090
Rating: M
Masterlist
Chapter 3
Chapter 5
Taglist: @xmarveled @spidey-the-killer-queen
Rowan was on the other side of the car with lightning-fast speed. She caught Bucky around the arm as he fell, barely keeping him from bashing his head on the car mirror. He was unconscious but breathing normally. Checking around the empty parking lot, Rowan sighed and maneuvered Bucky into the back seat of her car.
She grabbed another pair of handcuffs and cuffed his hands in front of him. Buckling herself up a few moments later she peeled out of the visitor’s park and back onto I-80. Heading as fast as she could towards Faith, South Dakota. Bucky’s soft, almost incoherent mumbles about not wanting to hurt them egged her on to keep the pedal mashed to the floorboard.
Bucky felt his body vibrating. That was weird… Keeping still a breath longer he deduced it wasn’t, in fact, his body vibrating. He was lying on his back at an awkward angle in the back of Rowan’s old Camaro, probably still heading toward South Dakota. He moved to rub his hands across his face but found them to be handcuffed.
He yanked his wrists apart a couple times before coming to the conclusion that the cuffs weren’t composed of normal, run of the mill steel that police officers had. He’d have been able to break those easily. Looking ahead into the front seat, Bucky noticed Rowan’s grasp on the black steering wheel was tight, knuckles stark white against her otherwise tan complexion. Her posture was rigid, shoulders impossibly tight. She was waiting for something, but he wasn’t sure what.
Then it clicked. The visitor’s park. Her guiding him through the small patch of woods to the meadow with the day lilies, showing him his left monstrosity of an arm could feel delicate things. His mind flashed forward to those two car-jackers… How the thirst for blood ran through his entire being. Then the old memory of him assassinating those two children slammed into him like a ton of bricks. He couldn’t breathe; the weight of what he did to them, the silent screams from the young girl as her brother’s blood splattered across her tiny, round face filled his vision.
Every minute detail from that night, from what he was wearing, to the temperature and how his surroundings smelled came back to him. He calmed his breath and counted the doors and windows of the car three times over until he was certain that he had evaded another panic attack. Two in as many days wasn’t a great record to hold. Once he was confident his voice wouldn’t shake, he spoke up over the low rumble of the engine.
“Rowan, why am I handcuffed?” It was worded as a question but sounded more like an annoyed statement. If he had tried not to sound like an annoyed jackass he wasn’t sure if he would come off as anything other than freaked out.
He wasn’t sure exactly what happened, but he was pretty positive he’d had his first memory break through his subconscious. Rowan flitted her green eyes to the rearview mirror a couple times before settling them on Bucky’s blue ones for a long moment, to the point Bucky was worried that she hadn’t had her eyes on the road for a while.
“Just a precaution. Give me a minute and I’ll pull over to un-cuff you.” Bucky was sure he could hear the tension ease out of her voice as she finished her statement. He watched as her knuckles turned back to the rich tan that they normally were.
When she pulled over and opened the car’s back door, the tension that had been pinching her shoulders before was gone. He found himself a little shameful that he was the one to cause her such tension. He quickly brushed the ill thoughts away as she reached over him and unlocked the metal handcuffs.
“Sorry Bucky. Didn’t wanna take any chances. I wasn’t sure what would happen when you woke up. That wasn’t bad for your first memory recovery though. You can understand the precaution of the handcuffs? I had Tony make some specially reinforced ones for me… Just in case.” She looked off to her right as she trailed off. She had tried to make Bucky feel a little more normal.
She wasn’t sure if it worked and honestly neither was Bucky but he still appreciated the gesture. Just as he had when she mentioned the whole low blood pressure thing earlier today. Was it still the same day? Bucky suddenly started looking around, wondering what time it was. The sun had long gone down he could tell; there was no trace of lingering golden rays or a colorful skyline. It was pitch black outside.
“We’re at the ranger station. I’m gonna head in… You can take as much time as you need.” Rowan threw a tight lipped smile towards Bucky’s pale expression before she headed inside the log and stone cabin. Bucky watched dazedly at her retreating form; her shoulders were still a tad rigid.
Rowan took deep, calculated breaths as she walked away from Bucky. That was harder than she had anticipated it would be. She could feel her own panic attack coming on as she had dragged Bucky to the car back at the visitor’s station. It had taken her two hours until she got her breathing back under control.
She was pissed at herself for losing control like that. She hadn’t had a panic attack in almost two years. The cold sting of the metal doorknob brought her wandering mind back to her current task. She took a deep breath in again, clearing her mind as she prepared to handle something- or rather someone- else that she hadn’t had to deal with in a while.
Warren was a handsome man. Rather average height for a man at five foot ten, but Rowan never had an issue with the lack of height difference between them; it never came to mind in the bedroom. The super soldier took her time admiring the blonde as he was partially bent over his desk. She didn’t bother verbally alerting him that she was here.
She knew he heard her walk in; not much got past his sharp hearing. She cocked her hip and leaned her elbows on the tall counter, waiting patiently. After a few moments, the broad shouldered man in a green DNR ranger uniform turned around. Rowan let a small smirk grace her lips as she met Warren’s light blue eyes.
“Long time no see O’Connor.”
“I could say the same thing for you Worthington.”
“I’ll be honest, when I got your phone call I wasn’t expecting you to be bringing along another guy.”
“You’re such a cheeky bastard you know that?”
“You love it.” The man was right, Rowan did love it. Once upon a time. But then her own damn feelings got in the way of things. It got too serious, too quickly; for both of them. Years had passed and by now they were both over their feelings, for the most part. Now it was nothing but shameless flirting and occasional sexy time whenever Rowan passed through. And she couldn’t forget the damn good chamomile tea he made for their talks. She shook her thoughts away.
“What happened to your wings.” Warren smiled despite himself. Rowan hadn’t changed in all the years he’d known her. Really bad about feelings. Really good at awkwardly changing the subject. His left hand unconsciously grasped his right, twisting a titanium ring around his ring finger. He toyed with it a breath before he slide it off and laid it on the counter. Rowan grinned widely and walked around the counter.
“That’s more like it.” She gave Warren a quick peck on the cheek and stepped back, admiring his fifteen foot wingspan. He was an odd sight in his own opinion, but over the years- thanks to Rowan’s help- he’d gotten used to his mutation. A gift as Rowan always called it. He eventually had come to see it as that.
But Rowan had seen how much it had negatively affected him during his life. He just wanted a normal life. He couldn’t really have one with fifteen feet of white feathers following him around everywhere. So for Christmas one year, he received a newspaper wrapped box with a ton of packing peanuts inside.
He’d almost just thrown it out when he noticed the ring sitting at the bottom; a post-it note with Rowan’s initials scribbled in her messy handwriting on the front. On the back scrawled in the same chicken scratch it read “Don’t over use it. Be proud of who you are meant to be. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more.”
He hadn’t seen her in almost a year when he’d received the gift, and he wouldn’t see her again for another six months after that. He didn’t know where she’d gotten the charmed ring, or who could even make something like this. She usually had friends in the tech world, he didn’t know she knew anyone in the supernatural clique.
“I can’t believe you missed my wings the most. That’s not even the best part of me.” Rowan laughed as she gently brushed her hand across Warren’s left wing, still unbelieving in how soft it was. Like a cloud.
“Oh come on War, we both know the wings aren’t the best part on you.” She ended her sentence with a wink. The clearing of a throat brought the two former lovers out of their stare down.
“I can go wait back out in the car… If you need me to.” Bucky was shuffling his feet, looking down while his right hand reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, while his left arm hung awkwardly, as if he didn’t know what to do with it. Rowan stepped back from Warren a few steps. The blonde man cleared his throat and moved around the counter, reaching out his right hand towards Bucky. Bucky took it cautiously.
“Nice to meet you Sergeant Barnes.”
“Thanks…” Bucky was thoroughly confused as the two released their firm handshake. Why was this angel man happy to meet him? Did he not know who he was? Was this guy a bad guy; did Bucky know him from his time with Hydra? He didn’t really recognize the face.
“Looks like you got your hands full with Row over here, yeah? Already fleeing the country! Well she always has had an eye for the bad guys.” Warren held an easy grin on his face, though Bucky noticed he had a slighter heavy eyebrow than he did a moment ago.
His eyes flashed quickly to the auburn haired woman behind the counter; she must trust this guy a lot to tell him they were planning on leaving the country. Though from the conversation he walked in on and the looks on their faces the ex-assassin made a correct assumption that there were still at least some feelings left. Bucky started to answer before Rowan beat him to the gate.
“Stop teasing him. I already told you it’s not like that. I’m helpin a couple friends out.” Warren turned towards Rowan slowly and started walking back behind the counter again.
“Right, like you were helping me- a friend- out all those years ago?” The tone was light, but even with Warren’s back facing Bucky, he could tell from Rowan’s melancholy expression that the subject might not be as easy for them to discuss as they were trying to play off in front of him. Rowan blinked and looked at Warren for a breath before turning away from the blonde man and walked back towards Bucky.
“War I didn’t come here for this. I came because I needed you’re help and I trust you. So if you’re not-“
“Don’t be silly Row-boat, of course I’ll help you. I can’t help the teasing, old habits and such.” Rowan turned back to the mutant with a stoic look on her face. Bucky didn’t know the woman very well but he wasn’t stupid; he could tell that she was trying her damnedest to not let her feelings show. Warren shuffled around the slightly messy desk behind the counter before dangling a pair of keys in front of him triumphantly.
“These are for the ranger station. Once you park at the Red Elm visitors station it’s a few hours hike out there. No one should bother you out there. There’s no one scheduled to go camping in that area for the next month. I’ve booked the sites up from you. I’ve also blocked off all the hiking paths to and from that particular station.” Bucky stood silently next to Rowan and Warren as they went over a map; Warren showing the two soldiers where they’d be staying and where he’d blocked everything at.
“You can stay at my place tonight and head out in the morning. I’ll bring you a load of supplies a week from tomorrow, along with more info on your plane to Vancouver.”
“Thank you so much War. It means a lot.” Warren let a tight-lipped smile grace his sharp face as his ocean blue eyes slide over Bucky before gathering up the maps and keys. He dumped them into a small backpack and threw it over his shoulder. After he slipped the titanium ring back on his right ring finger, Rowan and Bucky followed him to the front doors of the station.
After locking up, they made quick work of transferring Rowan and Bucky’s bags into Warren’s truck. Bucky hopped in the spacious back seat while Rowan threw her car keys to Warren. Bucky couldn’t help but let a smirk fall upon his face as he heard Rowan threaten Warren to take care of her baby, lest he wanted to face the wrath of not only herself, but Tony Stark as well.
The drive to Warrens quaint cabin wasn’t too long, but Bucky was still uncomfortable. Rowan and Warren were quiet in the front seat, but Bucky could taste the tension in the air. The trio entered the cabin, greeted by rock music softly playing from the radio sitting on the kitchen counter.
Rowan looked around nostalgically for a moment before setting her bags down. Bucky held onto his small duffel that contained the essential over night items. Warren walked to the right towards a hallway lit by a warm nightlight plugged into the wall.
“Mr. Barnes, you’re room is the last on the left, bathroom’s right across. The hot and cold shower knobs are backwards by the way. Don’t have usually have guests over so I’ve not fixed it yet…” Warren trailed off as Bucky nodded his head in thanks and walked down the hall to his room.
It was small, but cozy. A bookshelf and desk adorned the east facing wall, while a queen sized bed and two side tables shared the wall directly in front of him. The closet and a dresser filled in the west facing wall. The furniture was all red oak, with dark, earthy toned colors decorating the bed and walls. Bucky grabbed his shower things and made his way to the bathroom across the hall.
“Bucky if you need anything, my rooms just on the other side of the living room. I’ll see you tomorrow, oh five hundred, yeah?” Rowan had shed her jacket and shoes. She looked like she had gotten comfortable quick. Bucky appreciated that, at least she could easily adapt to any situation, good if they were going to be hiding out for an indefinite amount of time together.
“Alright. Oh five hundred.” Bucky nodded and shut the bathroom door.
Rowan grabbed her duffel and let her feet carry her down an all too familiar path. After she had thrown her bag haphazardly on the twin bed in the small bedroom, she made her way down to the door at the end of the hallway. How many times she’d been here…
Less than she’d wanted, she’d admit. But never to anyone aloud. She found herself hesitating to turn the door knob, opting on a light knock instead. A breath later, Warren opened the door, his white v neck exposed under his unbuttoned ranger shirt.
“What’s up, love?” Warren backed away from the door way to finish removing his work uniform, turning away as he shed the v neck. He could feel Rowan’s eyes roaming the expanse of his back. Sliding his ring off his finger his breath hitched when he heard his ex-fiancé’s breath intake slightly.
“Oh, you know. Same old, same.” Warren couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped as he turned toward the auburn haired woman. He’d missed the teasing glint in her emerald eyes. It’d been a few months since she’d stopped in, staying only the weekend. They’d caught up on each other’s lives.
Nothing had changed much- Warren fulfilling his wishes of leading a simple, honest life, staying out of trouble when he could- And Rowan doing some side jobs for whatever government flavor caught her attention that month. It was nice catching up, like old times. They hadn’t really left the bedroom those two days.
As much as they didn’t want to admit it, they both missed each other; they both regretted how things had ended. Rowan the most. She’d wanted to marry Warren oh so badly, but she couldn’t bring herself to give up the lifestyle she had. She wasn’t sure she could. Even for the five years they’d been together- living together for the most of it- every few months Rowan would get an itch that she’d have to scratch.
She couldn’t convince Warren to ever come along with her. In the end, she’d called it off; she couldn’t let her past go. It wasn’t fair to him, she’d said. He’d agreed, it really wasn’t, but that didn’t stop them from still loving each other. Rowan had cried that night, the first time Warren had ever seen tears come from her eyes. He’d held her and comforted her, silently cursing the situation, though sometimes loving someone wasn’t enough.
“Come to take advantage of me have you?” Rowan smiled wryly towards the man, reaching up and tracing her calloused hand along his sharp jawline.
“You know me, War. Good at the sex, shit at the feels. Plus, who knows if I’ll make it out of this favor alive? I am harboring the most dangerous man in the world ya know.” She lightly tapped his cheek before she dropped her hand. Warren wanted to disagree with her, but knew it’d be a waste of breath. After all they’d been through, he knew never to get in the way of her latest projects.
“How d’you know I don’t have a girlfriend? It’s been how long since you’ve seen me?” Rowan glanced around his bedroom quickly. Nothing had changed much. Soft blues and greens gave the room a calming effect, and pictures of himself with Rowan and a few other close friends adorned shelves and his nightstand. Rowan felt a pang in her heart. Damned feelings.
“She can join us.”
“Come off it O’Connor. We both know you don’t like sharing.”
“Sharing’s caring Worthington.” Warren rumbled out a deep chuckle and pulled Rowan close to him. Truth was there was no other woman. Sure, throughout the years he’d had a few girlfriends, a couple Rowan had even met before.
But none of them managed to stay long. Eventually he’d try to open up to them about his past and about his… erm… gift. It never ended the best. Either the poor woman would freak out and run, or she’d be too obsessed, to the point of trying to show him off to everyone. He was not thankful for the super-hero era they were living in at the moment.
He was no superhero, and Rowan was the only woman who’d respected his wishes of staying out of the spotlight, even though she disagreed with them. There might be another woman out there somewhere, maybe he’d find her, maybe not. For now he was content where he was.
“You’re ridiculous woman, you know that.”
“Yup.” Rowan leaned forward, not having to reach up much as they were the same height, and pressed her lips against Warren’s. She’d missed this. Missed him. He hummed lightly and kissed her back a bit before pulling away.
“Sorry Warren. I just-“
“I know.” They exchanged small smiles before pulling away a bit.
“How about I make us some tea and we catch up?” Rowan grinned towards the blue-eyed angel and nodded her head softly, following Warren towards the kitchen.
-TTA-
The clap of thunder jolted Rowan out of her sleep. She dared not move for a moment, choosing instead to let her tired eyes rest upon the mess of blonde curls lying upon her lap. Warren and she had stayed up way too late last night. Though her neck had a horrid crick in it and she couldn’t feel her ass from her haphazard sleeping position, she was glad to have caught up last night. Rowan rolled her neck again, relishing in the cracking sounds it made. She gazed over at the cable box clock under the tv. It read five ten am. Shit.
“I didn’t wanna wake you guys.” Rowan barely suppressed a jump when Bucky’s soft, raspy voice slide through the room. He was stood at the counter, a steaming mug of coffee in his right hand. His left hung limply at his side.
“Right. Sorry ‘bout that.” Rowan looked down at her and Warren’s intertwined hands resting on his bare chest. She squeezed it lightly, trying not to scare him awake. He inhaled deeply and gripped her hand back tightly.
“G’mornin Row-boat.” Warren mumbled in a sleep filled haze. He lazily stretched out along the brown leather for a moment before he jolted upright, as if remembering Bucky was there. Right. Official, off-the-books business was supposed to happen… ten minutes ago…
“Sorry… Guess we should have gone with chamomile tea last night. Damn caffeine.” Bucky smiled tightly and sipped his coffee, looking out the window into the cloud filled sky. Warren moved quickly to his room to get dressed, calling out to be ready in ten. Rowan sat on the couch for a minute before she too got up. She was still in her clothes from yesterday, but decided coffee was more appealing than changing at the moment. She padded over to the kitchen and poured a steaming mug of coffee. Bucky just stared at her as she drank it. A mild look of horror on his face.
“What. Do I have bogie or something?” Rowan rubbed her nose self-consciously. Bucky blinked before shaking his head.
“Are you gonna put sugar in there? Or… ya know, creamer? There’s some in the fridge.”
“Gross.” Rowan held a serious look on her face as Bucky’s eyes stayed wide.
“She likes her coffee black, like her soul.” Warren walked into the room, fully clothed and wearing a shit-eating grin on his face.
“You’ll get used to it mate.” Warren poured himself his own coffee while shuffling Rowan out of the way from the fridge, before pouring creamer in his own coffee. Bucky blew a puff of air out of his nose and shook his head, small smile gracing his chapped lips. Both men’s eyes followed Rowan’s sleepy form as she downed the rest of her coffee, not even blinking at the heat or bitterness of the dark liquid. She ignored their looks of slight distaste as she walked lazily back to her room to change.
“Yeah, maybe. If I can stay alive for that long.” Bucky tried to sound easy going with Warren. He wouldn’t say he particularly liked the guy, but he didn’t get any weird vibes from him either. He could see himself getting along with him given the chance.
“Rowan’s the best of the best at this. She’ll take care of you. She’s good at that. Just don’t fall in love and ask her to marry you. She’ll be high-tailin it outta there so quick you won’t know what happened till she’s halfway across the continent.” Warren ended the sentence with a rueful smile. Bucky wasn’t quite sure how to reply to that, so he didn’t.
An annoyed ‘I heard that.’ Was heard faintly from the bedroom as the men shared a soft laugh before Rowan walked out to the living room.
“You lot ready then?” Bucky and Warren nodded sharply before following Rowan out into the storm.
A strange woman Bucky is sure he knows but can’t fully recognize, picks him up after the fall of SHIELD. She claims to be friends with Steve and that she is here to help him. He can’t help but keep wondering where he knows her from; it’s definitely not through Steve Rogers. Can she help him be the man he wants to be or will the all too familiar struggles of being a super human overcome him?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OC Rowan O’Connor
Word Count:4,154
Rating: M
Masterlist
Chapter 2
Chapter 4
Taglist: @xmarveled @spidey-the-killer-queen
Rowan and Bucky had stayed one more night in the cozy Chicago apartment. Not much conversation filled the studio flat. Some awkward mumbles from Bucky asking Rowan how to work the shower was about it.
The next morning, they headed out the back door of the three story building. Bucky had his shoulder length brown hair mostly hidden under a Family Business Brewing Co. baseball cap, with the remainder of it sticking out the back in a small bun. He had shaved his face, giving him more of a five o’clock shadow rather than a bordering-on-homeless look.
Rowan was dressed in green leggings and a pink tank top; a black oversized beanie covering up her auburn hair. She opted out of hiking boots, unlike Bucky, and sported a pair of comfortable running shoes instead. To any passersby, they looked like a young couple heading out to go camping for the weekend.
Rowan pressed a four digit code into a blue garage door and ushered Bucky inside. She grabbed a set of keys off a hook by the door. Bucky’s eyes scanned the low clearance ceiling, wondering which vehicle Rowan would choose. Bucky raised his eyebrows a bit at the car that Rowan led him to.
“Don’t judge me, I know its cliché. It’s not my normal choice but it’s the only one that has fuel in it right now. We don’t have time to stop for any until we get out of the city. I’m pretty sure by now Nat will have figured out which home I was talking about last night.” Rowan filled the back seat up with the few duffel bags she had carried downstairs, along with some empty ones.
She had planned to find a clothing store on the outskirts of the city for Bucky. The raglan shirt and jeans she had given him were a bit too small. Luckily the boots were on the perfect side of snug for him.
Bucky wasn’t sure how, the information must have been hidden in a part of his mind from working for HYDRA, but he recognized the car. A blue Camaro. An older style with some rust. Had he driven one while on a mission?
“Where’d you get this?” His eyes wandered over the black leather interior as Rowan fished a cell phone out of a purple duffle bag and crushed it in her palm before letting the pieces fall to the ground.
“Souvenir from a mission.” Nothing more was said as Rowan and Bucky fastened their seatbelts and pulled out of the garage. Bucky stayed silent as Rowan shifted gears and slowly pulled out of the garage into the bumbling suburb streets. By the sun, he figured they were heading west.
-TTA-
“Got her.” Steve’s head snapped up, blue eyes following Natasha’s voice over to a group of large screens decorating the south wall of the room. They currently showed different angles of a back alleys and brick buildings. The location at the bottom right of the screen read “BUCKTOWN”.
A small neighborhood hugging the Kennedy Expressway in Chicago. Steve’s eyes roamed the different camera angles when finally, they landed on two figures walking casually to a garage down a narrow alleyway off of West Webster Avenue.
To anyone else, the couple appeared casually dressed, like they were running errands or going on a trip somewhere, if the duffel bags were any indication. The woman was tall, nearly six foot it looked like, even in running shoes. She had a black, oversized beanie covering her hair.
The man was over six foot, wearing a baseball hat with brown hair sticking out the back. His stride was large and his stature was rigid. His head never moved much, but to trained eyes, one could tell he was skillfully scanning the area.
“Are you sure Nat? I’m not going to be running around on a wild goose chase every time we see a couple and the guy has long brown hair. The man bun thing is in now you know. We can’t even see their faces right now. And that woman’s hair could be any color. Hell we can’t even see it under the beanie she has on.” Nat blew a warm breathe of air out her nose in slight annoyance, or maybe it was scolding, Steve couldn’t really tell most of the time, but he knew an explanation of why she was right was on its way.
“When Rowan was in the Sector she was on a mission to eradicate a biochemical warfare research facility in Chechnya. The building exploded and her right leg was crushed at the knee. They almost had to replace it with an enhanced prosthetic.
“It healed most of the way. If you know what to look for you can see that her right leg from the knee down swings out just a few degrees wider than her left leg as she puts her foot down, almost like she’s bow-legged.” Natasha rewound the footage of the couple walking from a brick apartment building to a garage a few meters down the gravel alley. Steve looked closely this time. His eyes widened for a moment before narrowing in frustration.
“She lied. God dammit why did she lie to us Natasha?”
“Language Capsicle. Princess Leia probably has a reason to keep your BFF to herself.” Tony strolled in casually, bag of blueberries in his hand. He popped one in and looked at a smaller computer screen sitting on the desk nearest to him. It had a small blinking red light on it, text zipping quickly across the screen.
“You know she hates when you call her that. And Tony is right Steve, like I told you earlier, there’s probably a legitimate reason for her not coming in with him.”
“No reason is good enough for him not to come back! Don’t you get that? He’s been gone for years and he needs someone he knows and trusts! I can help him through this; I know I can. I owe him that much.”
“You sure about that Cap? Because it seems like you wanting to find him has more to do with your inner demons than you think. You don’t owe him anything; what happened to him wasn’t your fault. He’s a soldier, he knew the risks when he signed up. ”
“He didn’t sign-“
“Not the point I’m trying to make here Steve.” Tony closed his eyes for a long moment before putting the blueberries on the computer desk and walking up to stand next to Steve and Natasha. His posture was no longer casual, but a bit pinched at the shoulders.
“After Afghanistan, hell even after New York, I had a lot of problems. You guys know how hard it was for me to be around everyone. Sometimes it takes being around a stranger, someone who’s been through what you have but doesn’t really know too much about you personally to really be able to get to the bottom of the issue and work it out. I know that’s what helped me, going to the Vet meetings at the church.” And talking with Rowan till all hours of the night at the top of Stark Tower. Though Tony left that part out. Rowan was adamant she “wanted to keep her badass black soul reputation fresh.”
Natasha kept reading the computer screens, typing fervently trying to get a better angle on the suspected Bucky and Rowan. She understood where Tony was coming from, and figured he might be able to get it through the super soldiers thick head about why Bucky might not come running home. Steve looked down at his boots guiltily. Tony grabbed his blueberries and started for the door.
“And you both know how much I hate going to church. Oh and better get a glimpse of them while you can. JARVIS shows that the scrambler Rowan has on her car is about to finish calibrating.” Tony turned, posture casual once again, and walked out the metal framed door. Natasha slammed her fist on the desk as all the camera angles turned to black screens. Steve fell into a chair and rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes until he saw stars.
-TTA-
“How do you know we’re out of sight? We’re still pretty close to the city. There’s camera’s everywhere.” Bucky tried to remain casual in the passenger seat as Rowan struggled to find a parking spot outside of a Kohl’s on the southwest side of Chicago. It was busy for a Monday morning but Bucky needed new clothes and she’d rather get everything before they start their road trip than have to stop halfway through.
“All of my vehicles are equipped with Stark scrambling technology. Tony is aware but he won’t let Nat and Steve know about it. We had a little chat last night.” Bucky pursed his lips and gave a short nod as Rowan parked and turned off the car.
As they walked into Kohl’s, Rowan clicked a button on her key fob to lock the Camaro. As Bucky heard the car beep to signal its lock, all the store lights went out for a few seconds before turning back on. Bucky looked around cautiously as the employees mumbled about the systems rebooting.
“There’s a scrambler in my key fob too. Stark really likes me.” Rowan had a cheeky grin on her face as she grabbed a cart and strolled to the men’s section, grabbing Bucky’s arm along the way.
About an hour later they had checked out and were on I-80 heading west. Old school rock drifted quietly out of the speakers. It wasn’t necessarily an uncomfortable silence, but Bucky hated it. He found himself wanting to speak. About something, anything. He didn’t really care.
“So, uh Rowan, where exactly are we headed?” He kept his gaze shifted out the window, watching the gargantuan white windmills as their propellers gently lulled through the air, creating energy for who knows how many homes out here.
“Faith, South Dakota. After we load up on supplies we’ll head out to the Cheyenne River Reservation. I figure we camp out there for a couple weeks then head up to Vancouver. I’ve got a safe house up there no one knows about. We can grab my other passports and have some made for you. Then Juneau to a charter plane that will take us to St. Lawrence Island and last but not least I’ve got a friend who owes me a favor. He said he can get us as far west as Japan.
“We’ll have to figure out the rest of the plan from there. It’s the third of April. I figure by the end of this month we should be touching down in Japan. That should be enough time for them to already do a big sweep overseas.” Bucky was impressed by how in depth Rowan had already planned their travel. He still had a few concerns though.
“Won’t they be searching everywhere until they find us? If Steve is still the same as I remember, he won’t stop.”
“You’re right Mr. Barnes, Steve isn’t gonna stop, and as much as Nat loves me I doubt she’ll actively try to stop him from finding us. Tony is pretty complacent for me to work with so if I need him to throw them off our trail I’ll call him. But it’ll be fun to see how long that’ll take.”
“Why are we camping out in South Dakota for half the month? Why don’t we just get out now while we have them scrambled?” Bucky figured she was going to answer the same way his own thought process was heading, but he just wanted to see how aligned their thinking was.
His brain was still itching every time he tried to think too hard about how familiar Rowan was. He was getting better at ignoring the alarm going off in his head when he saw her face, though he still wasn’t confident that was the best thing to do.
“Barnes, seriously? I know you know why I’m doing this. Is this some sort of trust test? Wouldn’t it be more entertaining to do some trust fall exercises instead? I promise I won’t drop you.” The teasing in her voice deepened her accent.
It was a pleasant sound Bucky decided; not like some of the other women’s voices he recalled from his time in HYDRA. The thicker accent and her playful banter lightened his mood. Rowan eyed him. From this view she could see the edges of his eyes crinkling up ever so slightly; a tell-tale sign that he was about to let out a smile.
“Letting you drive is enough trust testing I can handle for any twenty four hour period.” Bucky rubbed his chin with his flesh hand. The crinkles moved from his eyes to his forehead.
“Hey! I’m an excellent driver.” Rowan took her eyes completely off the road when Bucky didn’t have a response. She had been trying to come off as less edgy than she was accused of being in the past. Sometimes she got too into the mission on hand.
She kept reminding herself this wasn’t technically a mission or a job. She was helping someone. When her emerald eyes met the downcast face of Bucky she turned off the radio. He was glaring at his left hand, rubbing his fingers from his right hand over the silver palm.
“I can’t tell if I can really feel anything with it, or if it’s just my brain playing tricks on me since I know what my other hand is doing.” Rowan could hear the disparity in the man’s voice. She hopped over a couple lanes to catch the visitor’s stop just in time, narrowly missing getting clipped by a semi. Bucky sat rigid in his seat.
“Come on, out we go.” The tall woman held Bucky’s door open expectantly waiting for him to emerge. She grabbed his flesh hand and led him down the dirt path into a small cluster of trees, hitting her key fob as they went. She slowed as they passed the cluster of young birch trees and turned, grabbing Bucky’s left hand.
“Close your eyes. Go on, we haven’t got all day you spoon.” Bucky raised a thick eyebrow at the odd insult before closing his eyes slowly.
“Take a deep breath. There you go. Just relax.” She released his right hand from hers and it dropped softly to his side. She only held his left hand. It was a weird sensation. He could feel her hand, the warmth.
It was a little sticky with sweat. He grasped it and ran his thumb over her palm; softly at first, then a bit harder. He could almost feel the creases in her hands. He felt where the ridges from the plates caught on Rowan’s callouses running along her palm and fingers, hard from years of action, like his remaining flesh hand.
She took his arm and led him to a patch of day lilies. He outstretched his hand carefully. He could feel how delicate they were. He lightly brushed his hand through the patch of flowers and the edges of his eyes creased in an almost smile at the feather light sensation. They were cool to the touch. He was sure he could tell they were supposed to be velvety smooth. But again, he just wasn’t quite convinced.
“See, you can feel. It’s not your mind playing tricks on you. I reviewed all your files. They connected your nerves to different parts of the arm. It’s pretty much your own, just a different color... And material I suppose, but that’s all semantics. Personally I think you pull off silver over gold any day.” Bucky looked up at Rowan’s teasing voice.
Her eyes were bright in the mid-morning sun. Her auburn hair fell over the right side of her face, she brushed it back and outstretched her hand to Bucky’s own. He took it with his left, the urge to try to feel everything with it stronger now. Rowan pulled Bucky up swiftly from his kneeling position and let go as he brushed dirt off his knees.
They walked silently back through the small wooded patch in a content silence. Rowan was staring ahead, in deep thought it seemed. Bucky wondered what she could be thinking about. Did she still not know if going all over the world with him until he regained his memories was the best idea? If she didn’t, he couldn’t argue with her. He didn’t even think it was a good idea. He was still on the fence about it himself.
She seemed like she had good intentions, and she claimed to be a friend of Steve’s. Something he wasn’t entirely sure of, Steve and Rowan didn’t seem compatible. Steve was a straight-laced guy. Rowan seemed a little… off the deep end on some matters. But people changed. Last time he remembers interacting with Steve he was a bit edgier.
Bucky shook his head. He was starting to get a headache from all this thinking. He closed his eyes briefly as he walked, the warmth radiating off Rowan half guiding him through the small trees. He heard birds chirping, Rowan’s leggings making a soft swooshing sound as her thighs brushed against each other as she took otherwise silent steps next to him; a little further off he could hear the droning of the cars and trucks zooming down the interstate.
How simple their lives must be compared to his. He wondered how that would feel; worrying about mundane things like how much it would be to fix the car, what to make for supper, how much the next doctor’s office trip would run him. He also heard a low male voice coming from their twelve o’clock. It seemed Rowan caught it a few moments after him.
Rowan looked towards Bucky, semi-alarm running along her features. There was no way any cameras pinged their location. No way would she or Bucky not have noticed someone following them.
And while she was sure every agent of SHIELD, HYDRA, FBI, CIA, or any other flavor of government agency had been alerted to Bucky’s status, she doubted they’d have people actively driving cross country looking for them. The only person besides herself and Bucky who knew about the Camaro was Tony Stark. He’d helped her rebuild the engine a few years ago on a slow weekend.
Bucky rounded the corner first, putting himself in front of Rowan. Instinct he supposed, though he didn’t think it was from his Winter Soldier days. Rowan poked her head around Bucky’s shoulder, not having to reach much at all, already being almost his height already. They saw two men walking around the Camaro, trying to nonchalantly peek inside.
Bucky assumed the black Jeep Cherokee idling in park next to the Camaro was what they pulled in on. The two men, who looked to be in their late twenties, wore dark hoodies, with beanies pulled tight over their heads. One had a handgun tucked into the back waistband on his jeans and the other had one on the side of his right hip, tucked into a holster, hoodie doing a poor job of concealing it.
Bucky rolled his shoulders and grabbed for the glock he had secured under the waistband of his pants. Gripping the gun with his right hand, the gears of his left arm whirred lowly as it calibrated, something he figured happened when he told his arm to flex when he was preparing for a fight.
Rowan laid a firm hand on his forearm, effectively stopping him from charging the two men. She put a slender finger to her lips before she motioned for them to keep listening and watch them. Bucky took a deep breath and let it out quietly through his lips. He tried to stop the shaking throughout his hands.
“You sure it’s just been sitting here? No one has been here?”
“No dude, this chick and her boyfriend headed out to the woods like twenty minutes ago. Probably just fuckin’ around. Let’s get it and go before they come back.” The guy turned towards the woods, keeping an eye out for anyone walking back. Rowan and Bucky ducked behind the thick brush by the opening of the trail.
“Shit, okay let’s hurry then.” Rowan and Bucky exchanged a relieved look. Weight seemed to be lifted from both their shoulders as they realized the two men were merely low life car-jackers. No special agents from either side of the law coming to get them, yet at least.
The day was young. Rowan pulled her fob out of the small pocket from the inside waistband of her leggings and hit a button. A loud, shrill alarm went off. Both men threw their hands over their ears and turned around quickly. Rowan stopped Bucky from coming out of the woods.
“Your face is all over social media and the news. I can handle these guys. I won’t even need your gun.” She winked his way then stepped out, conveying the posture of a scared woman. The men grabbed their guns when they noticed Rowan all alone. She didn’t even give them a chance to put their fingers on the trigger before she pressed the fourth button on the key fob.
One Bucky hadn’t seen her press yet. A light blue surge of energy exploded from the undercarriage of the Camaro, knocking both men to their feet. Rowan turned slightly and motioned for Bucky to come forward. As he drew nearer he made the assumption that both men were unconscious.
Producing two sets of handcuffs from a hidden compartment in the truck, Rowan tossed a set to Bucky. He followed Rowan’s actions and pulled the man into the back seat of the Jeep. He cuffed one arm before looping the short metal chain through the ‘oh shit’ handle and securing the man’s other arm. Rowan produced a cell phone from somewhere Bucky didn’t want to focus too hard on and dialed a number she knew by heart.
“Hey Tobey. Yeah I got a couple of guys out your way who were trying to car jack me. No not the Impala. It’s still safely tucked away in New York. My Camaro. Yeah that one. No I’m not getting his autograph for you. I just need to make sure the cops get them but I don’t have time to wipe my prints and such. I’ll take care of everything else for you. Great! Thanks Tobes. Yeah I’ll get with you soon. Bye.” Rowan hung up and tucked the phone away.
Bucky stood with his back to the Jeep, facing the woods. He was still trying to subdue the shaking in his hands. He almost jumped when Rowan sidled up beside him. She kept her gaze forward.
“Ya know if I didn’t know any better I’d say we need to get your blood sugar up some. My hands get shaky when I don’t eat often enough. There’s a McDonald’s at the next exit. Sound good?” Bucky knew his blood pressure wasn’t low, and he knew Rowan knew that too. But he still appreciated the gesture.
“Yeah, sounds good to me.” Truth was, he was itching for a fight. His body was shaking slightly, his head on fire. It was almost as if he could physically feel the painful urge to end those men’s lives.
He was ashamed of himself. He wasn’t on the battle field, this wasn’t a professionally trained operative coming to kill him. This was an every-day petty crime event. Childs play compared to some of the things he was used to being around.
He took a small step towards the Camaro before he staggered a bit, a dull throb encasing his head. A dim memory made its way to the forefront of his brain. A little brown-haired boy, with a smaller brown-haired girl next to him, sat in a well-lit living room. Bucky felt himself stretch and pop his neck as he kept his eyes on the children. They were playing checkers.
“Haide, soldat, nu avem toata noaptea. Acesta este jocul copiilor. Finalizati-le.” The harsh Romanian voice cut through the earpiece, like gravel sliding across glass it ended the silence that had been surrounding him. He lifted his sniper rifle, eye piece easing into place a few inches away from his alert blue eyes.
He shook his head, trying to rid himself of that memory, and moved to open the car door as a white hot pain travelled from behind his eyes down his spine. Lighting up every nerve ending as if they were being electrocuted individually. He opened his eyes wide and frantically searched for Rowan over the top of the blue car.
“Rowan, I… something’s wr-“ He tried to finish his sentence but everything went black.
A strange woman Bucky is sure he knows but can’t fully recognize, picks him up after the fall of SHIELD. She claims to be friends with Steve and that she is here to help him. He can’t help but keep wondering where he knows her from; it’s definitely not through Steve Rogers. Can she help him be the man he wants to be or will the all too familiar struggles of being a super human overcome him?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OC Rowan O’Connor
Word Count:4,531
Rating: M
Masterlist
Chapter 1
Chapter 3
Taglist: @xmarveled @spidey-the-killer-queen
Rowan jumped slightly when she felt her cell phone buzz in her back pocket. She eyed the sleeping form of Bucky, who had made his way to her now-made bed not long after their nearly-all-day conversation of how the two found themselves in this shit-show.
She understood where the guy was coming from. She really did. She had been subjected to some of the same treatment. Cryostasis, memory-wiping, brain-washing, being used to do the dirtiest deeds against her own will. She would be forever grateful for Natasha saving her from the hell that the United States government put her through, but right now, she was not thankful to know the red-headed assassin.
I know you found him. -N
Who? -R
It's been over two weeks. If you hadn't, you would have updated me by now. -N
Update: I haven't found him. -R
You're lying O'Connor. -N
You know what this means to Steve. -N
We need you. -N
Damn it Rowan. Answer me. -N
Rowan sat for a long while thinking about how well Natasha knew her. Should she tell her? Nat knew she was lying and Rowan knew how desperate Steve was to find his friend. Over the past ten years the newly-formed Avengers or SHIELD, respectively, had called Rowan in on some cases.
She had gotten to know the team pretty well, considered them all friends even. But she liked to keep to herself. Help out for the greater good here and there, slowly but surely clearing out her red ledger as Natasha always said. Then back into the shadows she went; there were still people looking for her, wanting to use her like they had The Winter Soldier; like the Captain was originally meant to be used; how she had been used by those that got their hands on Erskine’s formula and updated it.
Fury and SHIELD, Steve and the Avengers, they had offered her a place to seek refuge, but she felt like she shouldn't have to burden them. After what she had done, for them to openly welcome her to their safe hold... Would the same be said for Bucky Barnes? Probably, they knew who he was before all that HYDRA shit happened. Rowan was no one before The Sector. She had only ever been The Sector’s puppet.
"Are you gonna rat me out?" A deep voice from behind her startled her once again. Damn, she needed to be on her toes, no matter how at ease she felt with someone who had been through what she had. If anything, she should be on high alert, for she knew what this man was capable of and who was after him. She didn't answer him right away, letting the tension grow within the room.
"No."
I haven't found him. But I'll keep you updated. -R
Where are you.-N
Home.-R
Which one... -N
One you don't know about. I'll ttyl Nat. -R
She could feel Bucky reading the texts from over her shoulder. When she was sure he was finished, she shut her phone off and set it on the side table. She turned fully around to face the standing man.
"You know, I know you remember Steve, at least a bit. I've come to know him well over the past few years. Natasha saved my life; Steve is trying to do the same for you. They've... offered me a haven of sorts with their team. I'm sure they'd do the same for you. They're good people." Rowan tried to convince herself of what she was saying too. To be honest she wasn't one hundred percent sure what would happen.
Tony was a decent man, Rowan liked him a lot, but he didn't know all of what Bucky had done. She already knew Nat and Steve were a go, Thor wasn’t even on planet but was so happy-go-lucky all the time she doubted he would mind, and Banner was nervous all the time and second guessed most everything their little band of heroes did anyway so she didn’t even bother worrying about him.
She smirked when she thought briefly of Sam Wilson, the handsome and comedic soldier that had helped Steve and Natasha during the past few weeks, all he had done while she visited them shortly was complain about how “that asshat” had ripped his steering wheel off. She had a feeling he would go with whatever Steve said though, he was a fantastic soldier, and a good friend to Steve. Still, she had her reservations about the whole situation. As much as she trusted Natasha and Steve, it was others around their team she didn’t quit trust yet.
"So why aren't you with them now?" Touché.
"I have my reasons."
"Then so do I." Bucky could tell Rowan was trying too hard to sound convincing. He wasn’t sure why, if these people really were her friends.
"Fine. Look, you're welcome to stay here as long as you need. But Natasha knows I know where you are. So eventually she's gonna come checking up on me. And it won't be for afternoon tea." Rowan blinked and looked away from Bucky's intense stare. She could tell he didn't like what she had said, not one bit. But he was thankful for her not giving his location away.
“Look, I know what you’re going through, and trust me when I say it will most definitely get worse before it gets better. But I’ll be here to help if you’ll accept it.” Why was she offering her help? It wasn’t like her. Maybe it was his situation, so much like hers…
She didn’t know where she’d be if Natasha hadn’t helped her through that horrible time. And, much as she loathed to admit it, she trusted Nat and Steve with her life, they had come through a lot over the past few years. Anything she could do to return the favor was still not enough, and never would be in her eyes. Maybe that’s why she didn’t bother staying long with the group after she helped them out. Would Bucky feel the same way?
An important thing in her recovery was that Natasha didn’t need to help her. She hadn’t even known her, but she believed in her, or at least was a good enough actress to make Rowan believe it. She knew that Fury had all but forced Nat to follow after her and help her, for as long as it took. It was the fact of the matter that someone who didn’t know anything about her other than those horrible years believed that she could be better than what she was subjected to.
She had a feeling that Steve would put too much pressure on Bucky to be like he was back when they were kids. He didn’t need that, he needed to see that total strangers believed he could overcome his red ledger. Sure he was the old Bucky now, but once all the memories came through… He wouldn’t be the same as he was when Steve knew him best, he never would be, and she had a feeling Steve expected him to be when this was all said and done.
Bucky would be a man who had memories from three different lifetimes, Bucky Barnes, The Winter Soldier, and… the man he will become now, whoever that might be. She was getting ahead of herself, they would cross that bridge when they arrived. Right now, she just needed to show him that he could trust her.
Bucky stared at the green-eyed woman in front of him. The woman who had apparently saved his life and who had pretty much led the same life as he had. She was offering him a place to stay, a safe place to stay; at least for now. Hell, if he were to admit it, he kind of wanted to stay with her.
She knew what he went through, and from her own stories from today, vague as they may have been; he was sure she would be the best equipped to handle what his mind would do to him and the people around him when he started remembering more… But a voice in the back of his mind screamed a warning at him just when he found himself trying to trust this red head. It was dark and scratchy, it made his head hurt.
"Thanks for everything." Bucky said roughly. The woman's mouth dropped open slightly as he walked away abruptly, heading for the only door out of the apartment.
"Hold on buddy. Where do you think you're going?" No answer. Before Bucky could blink twice Rowan had rushed towards the front door, blocking his escape route. His automatic response of lashing out was met with Rowan's automatic response of defending herself against him. He was on the floor in a compromising position about three seconds later.
He let his head fall to the ground. He was rusty. Rowan also had the same strength as Steve, if not more so with how his body felt; whereas Bucky had been injected with the Nazi's rip off serum according to Rowan. He just wasn't quite strong enough, especially in the state he was, freshly healed from gunshot wounds and being in what was probably as close to a coma as his body could get for two weeks. Hell, the only thing he'd eaten was some toast and butter over the last twelve hours.
"I'm guessing you just worked out how really fucked you are over the course of this encounter. I'm not going to hurt you Bucky. I'm here to help you. I know what you've gone through and I'm not going to let it happen again, okay?" Rowan relaxed her grip on Bucky's arms and sat up a little, although she remained kneeling over the other super soldier; not quite trusting him not to run.
"Before we go anywhere, you're going to need to rest up a bit more, you'll need a shower, and probably a shave and haircut… Or you know, you could probably rock the hipster man-bun look." Rowan smacked herself mentally, not even finding the words to reprimand herself for that last afterthought.
“Why are you doing this? Being… nice to me. After everything I’ve done. I’m a, a monster. I don’t deserve this.” Bucky looked up at Rowan with pathetic eyes, a dimple residing on his forehead in between his eyebrows as he frowned. Rowan sighed and closed her eyes a moment before answering,
“Because, when I was in your situation, someone reached out to me and helped me. Call it settling a deal, erasing my red ledger for all the bad shit I’ve done. Once you’re ready, you’ll probably find yourself in my position. You’re welcome.”
He didn’t have an answer to that. Bucky realized, as Rowan removed herself from above him, that this woman was right. He couldn't defend himself properly while in this state. So he would wait, regain his strength, use the help she was offering, then he would leave. Leave and never return so no one else would get hurt. He doubted he could erase his red ledger.
-TTA-
“She’s either with him or knows where he is.”
“How can you be so sure Nat? I mean, she isn’t giving up any information, and you only texted her. How can you tell she’s lying over a text?” Steve chewed his lip as Natasha turned around from her position on the couch. She hid the urge to roll her eyes.
“Because, Steve, I know Rowan, very well actually. I know she’s lying. There has to be a good reason for it. She knows how much he means to you; if he were hurt or is hurt, she might be waiting for him to heal up before letting you know he’s okay.”
“Well what if she can’t properly treat him? What if he needs a real doctor?”
“Then she’ll find a real doctor, Steve. Look- I know you know Rowan, this woman was trained like Bucky and I, sure - it was for the United States, but you know how corrupt they are. She knows her shit. She can protect him too, before you try to pull that card on me.
“The US government copied and enhanced the serum that you were injected with, she is definitely strong enough to handle anything that comes her way, and she’s spent enough time in the lab with Tony and Bruce to know her way around anything medical or mechanical.”
Steve had found a seat at Tony’s kitchen bar while Natasha had been speaking. She was probably right. From what Steve had seen of Rowan she was definitely formidable against anyone who came her way. Steve paused for a moment in his thinking. Had she meant to say those things about Rowan? He had only assumed SHIELD had found her and tried to make another super soldier. It seemed that wasn’t the case.
“Okay Natasha. I’ll trust you on this one… I guess. Only on the condition you tell me what’s up with Rowan. No beating around the bush. I want her story. I haven’t asked once about how she got the serum or where she’s from, because I trusted you and she’s proved herself more than once.
“But this is Bucky we’re talking about… You said she was injected with the same serum I was? When did this happen? Why aren’t there more soldiers just like her working for the US? And why for the love of God won’t she just come live with us? I mean seriously, she fits right in with the team.”
Natasha smirked at Steve’s last sentence. She did fit in well with the team. Natasha suspected that with time Rowan would come to find that not everyone was out to get her and the people that were would have a harder time if she stayed with the Avengers, as they had now been dubbed.
“It really isn’t my story to tell, but for the sake of me winning this argument and the fact that she probably doesn’t mind if I share with you, I’ll tell you everything I know.” Steve took a seat across from Natasha, somewhat surprised at Natasha’s admittance that Rowan wouldn’t have minded sharing the information with Steve.
Maybe he should have just grown a pair and asked her himself when she was here a few weeks back. He waited for about ten seconds as Nat pulled a device out of her pocket that looked like some sort of calculator. After another few moments, Steve grew even more impatient.
“Natasha. Am I supposed to be reading your mind or something here?”
“I’m disabling JARVIS in this room so he can’t overhear. Not that I think Tony would do anything with this information, but until we rat out all the HYDRA agents from what’s left of SHIELD and Stark Industries, I’m not taking any chances.” Steve admired Natasha while she typed furiously on the tablet in her lap.
She was a strong soldier in battle, a world-renowned spy and assassin- no matter what end of her gun you ended up on, you had to give her credit for how badass she was- and among many other great qualities that the red-head possessed, doing everything in her power to keep her friends safe was one of Steve’s favorites. Once Natasha was finished with disabling Tony’s bodiless, voice-only robot-thing that Steve didn’t want to admit still freaked him out sometimes, she adjusted her seat for a more comfortable position.
“Rowan was born in 1935, in Ireland. Because of the unsettling government issues across Europe, her parents shipped her over to her Uncle’s farm in Virginia when she was ten. Her parents went missing and a few months later her mother’s body was recovered but the reason of her death was never revealed; they never found her father, there were rumors he a was a mutant; a human that possesses the X-gene.
“I’ll explain that later. Her Uncle worked on the farm as a cover, but actually worked with the White House- he was a scientist. That’s how the government found out about Rowan. They had been looking for young, impressionable people to shape into soldiers to “protect” the US and her allies. With an immigrant Uncle that was willing to keep quiet and no other family it was easy to start her training.
“After a few years in Virginia and D.C., they moved her to Australia, then Wales, then back to US soil when she turned twenty four. You kind of know what happened during the Red Room with me growing up? The US version was The Sector.”
“So she grew up like you did, training to be a spy? Did the US think the war would last longer than it did?”
“Hold your horses old man, I’m not finished yet.” Steve blushed and tucked his arms tighter across his chest, waiting for Natasha to stop chuckling at his impatience. Could he really be blamed though? He told Natasha that he would trust her on this one, and lord help him he would, but he still wanted to know everything there was about the woman supposedly keeping his best friend from him.
If she was as trustworthy as Natasha claimed her to be (and he thought she was…but come on this was Bucky they were dealing with!), then he shouldn’t be freaking out, but he just couldn’t help it. Bucky had been there from the beginning. And he was supposed to be there till the end of the line. Steve thought that line had ended a long time ago. But somehow, God had other plans in mind.
“Rowan was twenty four when The Sector took your formula and enhanced it. I’m not sure how they got it from Erskine, I thought he kept it in his head and not written anywhere; if Rowan knows, she never told me. They immediately injected her with it, claiming she was already physically in top condition, so all there was to enhance, as far as they could tell, was her speed, strength, reflexes, hearing, eyesight, you know; the whole shebang.
“They heard rumors about her mutant father, but no powers ever surfaced, so they pretty much forgot about that. The serum worked, and, since the world was at a general peace, they locked her in the ice box until Bucky started showing up. Every time they got wind of The Winter Soldier they would send Rowan out to try to bring him down. She got close a few times, but HYDRA’s tech was just a little better than The Sector’s during those years.
“She’d be taken out for other missions though, The Sector was an organization that was almost as crazy as HYDRA, only rooting for the US. They claimed that they had allies, but at the end of the day it was all about good ole ‘Murica. They’re not known very well, the most you would ever hear would be whispers throughout SHIELD about a rogue government organization who was crazy about making sure the US was the biggest threat out there.
“All they cared about was making sure the United States had no enemies, and not because they made friends. They were out to strike fear in the other countries, to make sure no one dared to defy what the US wanted… About ten years ago Coulson debriefed me on a possible new asset to SHIELD. The file name was titled OBSIDIAN. Surprisingly it wasn’t an acronym, which our government loves to use usually.
“Something about Paleolithic history and how Obsidian was viewed as a protective power totem, given to soldiers to strengthen them. The Sector saw themselves ultimately doing good work for the US, the light-side if you will. Well there’s a light and dark side to everything… Rowan was their dark side.”
Natasha sighed rather loudly and stood, stretched, then headed over to the fully stocked bar. She poured two glasses of Tony’s no-label-although-lets-face-it-probably-privately-made whiskey and downed both before pouring two more. Steve sat quietly and waited for Natasha to finish before he dared speak. He watched her closely as she walked slowly back to where he sat. He took the offered drink and sipped a little before setting the glass on the coffee table. Natasha drank about half of the glass before setting her own down.
“So I did my job and brought her in. She had been in hiding for about two months from HYDRA and The Sector. It actually took about two years for her to fully trust me enough to get help from SHIELD. Over that time she and I travelled across Europe and Canada, though mostly sticking in Ireland.
“A lot of her memories from before she was used in The Sector came back to her while we were travelling. It wasn’t pretty. She hurt people, depending on when the memories came back and where we were. Anything can trigger them. One of her worst ones was when we were on a train. We passed by some old castle that apparently her parents took her to right before they shipped her over to the states.” Natasha took another long sip of her whiskey. She set the glass down and clasped her hands together, elbows on her knees. Her eyes stared blankly ahead as Natasha relived the day from so many years ago.
“She just spazzed out. She shoved me out of my seat and went on a rampage. I-I could barely stop her. She ended up passing out; but she had snapped one guy’s femur bone and literally ripped the security guards arm off with her own two hands. This woman-she, I, Rowan… Rowan didn’t even touch her, just looked her way, and she… Her body bent at odd angles, and she flew out of the window, over the edge of a ravine.
“There was lightning coming from Rowan’s fingertips, her eyes turned black. A storm popped up out of a seemingly clear blue, cloudless sky. I’ve never seen anything like it, at least not from any human besides Banner when he goes green... Or Thor when he uses Mjolnir. I hadn’t been actually nervous like that in a long while. I thought I might have to take her out.” Natasha seemed to be looking through Steve.
She had a troubled look on her face, eyebrows closely knit together, remembering the years she had spent with Rowan, who she now considered her closest friend, were not always rainbows and butterflies. Natasha had never seen Rowan use that power again. Not even in battle. It was as if Rowan hadn’t even realized she’d done it. She still didn’t know what she had done that to the woman, Natasha had never told her.
Never told her about the lightning that flew from her fingertips as she rampaged through the train compartment, or the storm that raged over the train while there was an otherwise beautiful blue sky over the Irish countryside. She hadn’t even told Fury or Coulson about it.
The only people on the train that witnessed it were either dead or had passed out from Rowan beating them to a pulp, luckily they hadn’t remembered when they woke up. A very attractive red-headed nurse had made sure of it. It was the only true secret she had left. Well, she guessed, not anymore. God, maybe she trusted Steve more than she wanted to admit. She didn’t like that...
Steve worried at his lip a bit more while listening to the tales of Rowan regaining her memories. He couldn’t imagine what Bucky was going through, if the memories had started to come back at all. He guessed the silver lining was at least Bucky wasn’t as strong as Steve or Rowan, he only had about eighty percent of their strength, as far as they knew, unless HYDRA had gotten a hold of The Sector’s updated formula. They might be in trouble then, until he could get to Bucky at least.
“She finally gave in enough to help us bring down The Sector. Fury was beyond furious and had some strong words with the President and his colleagues about how much of The Sector was hidden from SHIELD eyes all these years. Turned out The Sector was just a little too harsh for even Fury’s morals.” Natasha smirked.
“Turns out SHIELD was a little too much for Fury too, huh?” Steve nodded his head and blew hot air out of his nose in agreement. When Natasha didn’t continue, Steve took that as an opening for his questions.
“So why do the memories coming back make them go crazy?” He could only picture Bucky picking someone up and killing them with his mind…
“I don’t know if the same thing will happen to Bucky, but it’s more than likely. And I’m not sure, Rowan didn’t have an answer and she never really wanted me to ask Banner or Stark. They still don’t know her whole story. Only Coulson, Fury, and I know besides her. We were the only four who knew about the OBSIDIAN file. There’s no data left on it. All Sector data has been wiped from existence.
As far as we know, there are no more agents, unless they have gone deep under cover. Rowan doesn’t trust Coulson or myself when we’ve tried to tell her, she is more paranoid than even I am.” Natasha and Steve both chuckled at her little joke. She had to put some kind of light hearted statement out there, for both of them were almost choking on the seriousness of the situation.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to unload this much information… If you could keep it to yourself, that’d be great. Rowan doesn’t even know about the details of the train incident. I didn’t want to tell her, I don’t know how it would affect her.” Natasha felt rather guilty now. It hadn’t been in her plan to tell Steve this much, but the words just kept flowing.
Her time with Rowan had been one hell of a mission. Usually missions are easy for her to shake off after she’s done. She keeps it strictly business, how she was taught. But with Rowan, and it seemed since she was drafted for the Avengers and even SHIELD, her cold heart was warming up a bit.
The things that happened with Rowan turned personal when Natasha and she became friends. The whole situation went up a whole other level for Natasha that she hadn’t ever been on. Sure, at the Red Room growing up, she thought a few of the other girls she trained with were considered friends, until they proved her wrong. It felt good to unload some of the heavy information she had on her friend. And Natasha knew she could trust Steve.
“Natasha, thank you. I won’t say anything.” Steve patted her knee before holding up his right hand, fingers tightened into a fist, sans his pinky. Natasha rolled her eyes slightly at Steve before reluctantly enclosing Steve’s pinky with her own.
“You’ve got to stop trusting Sam and Tony to update you on modern-day traditions.”
A strange woman Bucky is sure he knows but can’t fully recognize, picks him up after the fall of SHIELD. She claims to be friends with Steve and that she is here to help him. He can’t help but keep wondering where he knows her from; it’s definitely not through Steve Rogers. Can she help him be the man he wants to be or will the all too familiar struggles of being a super human overcome him?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OFC Rowan O’Connor
Word Count: 3,610
Rating: M
Masterlist
Chapter 2
Taglist: @xmarveled @spidey-the-killer-queen
A shuddered breath accompanied by a low groan came from a disheveled bed across the small studio apartment. Rowan O’Connor looked up from the book held tightly in calloused, tanned hands. The owner of said hands calmly placed the book on the cushion beside her. Getting up slowly, she carefully walked over to the man occupying her bed; grabbing a bottle of water on the way.
As she neared the bed, she eyed the greasy brown-haired man cautiously; she was no fool. She knew exactly who he was as soon as she laid eyes on him two weeks ago. The silver bionic arm attached to the man's left shoulder had given him away instantly. No matter, she had known his face for years now; coming across him more than a few times.
That bionic arm had been the bane of her existence for what felt like most of her life. Sure, she had other missions that needed to be completed, but that damn glinting arm – red soviet star gleaming at her; was always top priority.
She calmly held the water bottle out in front of her. Troubled blue eyes looked up to her own before scanning every nook and cranny they could find of the small, square living space.
"Ostavaytes’ spokoynymi. Ya ne sobirayus’ prichnyat’ tebe bol." She watched with bated breath while the man’s eyes flew back to hers. They were startling blue. They held a lightness to them that she had never seen before.
"What?" His throat felt dry. How long had it been since he'd used it? He sat up a bit more before eying the water bottle warily. The woman cleared her throat before speaking again.
"I said, stay calm, James, I'm not going to hurt you." Bucky looked at her oddly, wondering why this woman was calling him by his first name, before deciding since she seemed to at least somewhat know him, the water bottle she was offering couldn't be all that hazardous.
He took it roughly from her hands and tore the lid off, internally sighing from relief when it popped lightly within his grasp, revealing it was sealed and therefor, not poisoned. He briefly wondered why his mind went to whether or not a bottle of water would be poisoned before downing the contents quicker than he would have thought.
When was the last time he'd had something to eat? As the thought passed through his mind, his stomach growled, rather loudly. Both sets of eyes looked down at his abdomen. The woman, who had yet to reveal herself, chuckled lightly and headed over to the kitchen area. Bucky watched with slight confusion as she hummed to herself while she stuck some bread in a toaster.
She could feel the soldier's eyes on her back as she got the butter out of the fridge for the toast. Although she had told herself the man in her bed was the Winter Soldier, a man who had tried to eliminate her on countless occasions, it had seemed – at least at this moment in time, the eyes that had questioned her first statement since he had been placed in her bed were in fact not the deadly ones she had met before. No, the man currently in her bed was Bucky Barnes, war hero, best friend of Steve Rogers; who she knew was looking for the silver-armed super soldier in her apartment.
Bucky Barnes, at the moment that is, had no idea how he found himself in this situation. Rowan didn’t quite know what to think about that. She was expecting the cold blooded killer and now she had a guy who wouldn’t remember a damn thing, at least for the next day or so, until something triggered a fit.
She knew how it went. Everything would be fine, then a memory from his time as the Soldier would break through his mind while reading through a magazine or seeing something in a storefront. There was no rhyme or reason why the fits and memories came about, but Rowan knew they would come. They had for her.
The toast popping up suddenly had Bucky gripping the sheets nervously. Where was he? What happened to Steve and their team? He looked around once more. The warm breeze coming from the opened window above the bed he was residing in somewhat answered his question of where he was; not in the icy countryside where he last remembered being with his team.
Everything in this apartment looked weird also. Nowhere he had ever been looked as shiny and new as the things in here. Even the clothing the woman had on were weird looking. That raised even more questions. He looked back up to the woman's face as she turned around and began speaking again.
"You're in Chicago, by the way." She said as she came closer, a plate of buttered toast and a glass of orange juice in her hands. Bucky noted her accent, the same British lilt to her voice as Peggy Carter, but with a higher notes on the end of some of her words, he couldn’t quite pin point where he had heard it from. She continued as she sat on a small stool next to the bed,
"Do you have any idea who I am? What year it is? Who you are?" She couldn't keep the questions from tumbling out. She hadn't been expecting him to be waking up like this; confused, pale, and visibly shaking. No, she had expected a bionic hand reaching for her neck. She was familiar with that situation.
He didn't answer her at first, seeming more interested in the glass of orange juice and toast that she was still holding onto, as if waiting to reward him from any answers he gave her. She sighed quietly before slowly handing him the glass and plate.
"I'm sure you're probably hungrier for more than toast and O.J., but trust me, after what you've been through, give it a few days before you try more than this." The auburn haired woman spoke softly, not wanting to spook Bucky. He had grabbed the glass and plate as soon as she gestured for him to. By the time she was done with her statement, he had already finished the orange juice and was halfway done with the second piece of toast.
Her jaw slacked open slightly in surprise at how fast he had sucked the food and drink up. She inched her stool back a bit with a pinched face and grabbed the small trash bin next to the bed. He looked quizzically at it for a second before shooting out his left arm for it. She hoped the crack he made to the bin didn't reach down far enough to let the vomit leak through onto the rug.
He looked sheepishly back up to her after emptying the small amount of sustenance he had just inhaled, gladly accepted the paper towel from the woman, and wiped his face off before slowly taking in the object holding onto the waste basket. Taking a sharp breath in, the woman took the bin away slowly before speaking.
"James, please remain calm. I can't help you if you freak out, okay?" Bucky hardly paid attention to the woman in from of him. He dropped the half eaten toast from his right hand and continued to glare at the silver arm attached to his shoulder.
What happened to him? Who did this? Where was Steve? And why was this woman still calling him James? His breathing started getting shallow and his vision grew black around the edges. Pain. All over; it started behind his eyes, but continued until it spread, white hot, throughout his entire body.
The warm apartment disappeared as Bucky found himself cold, so incredibly cold. His eyes could barely make anything out. His vision was blurry, and there seemed to be frost all around him. If he concentrated hard enough, he could just see a figure through the ever-thickening frost.
A man in a black business suit was glaring at him with a hopeful look on his face. His gray fringed red hair stood out bright among the dimly lit room. The cold was growing, his vision fading yet again. Then warm hands reached out and grasped both his shoulders. His mind did not think. His body only reacted.
Rowan could only watch as Bucky grabbed her right shoulder with his left hand and her left thigh with his right hand and toss her like a lawn chair across the apartment. She landed roughly on the coffee table, thanking her lucky stars it wasn’t glass. It almost didn’t break under her weight.
Rowan didn’t slow down as she rolled from the crumpled coffee table and jumped back up, twisting her body as she landed back on her feet. Just in time to deflect a rather roughly thrown left hook. The Winter Soldier’s bionic arm groaned under the force of hitting the woman’s right arm.
Taking advantage of his surprise, Rowan grabbed hold of his right shoulder and heaved herself up, flipping and landing on Bucky’s shoulders. Bucky stumbled backwards and grabbed both her thighs while trying to pry her off. Rowan flexed her legs tightly to hold on and landed blow after blow to Bucky’s face. After four elbows to the head the Winter Soldier fell back onto the couch, dazed, but not knocked out.
Rowan jumped off quickly, taking advantage of his quieted state to grab hold of his shoulders once more, softer this time. She took a deep breath, silently thanked Natasha for teaching her signature move (a rather funny story for another time), and began trying to talk the Winter Soldier back down into the form of Bucky Barnes.
"I need you to focus on me. Breathe deeply, there. Now breathe out. James? Look at me. There you go. How many windows are in this room?" This was an exercise that Natasha had used countless times to help Rowan from going nuclear when she started to have a fit from a memory breaking through. It worked most of the time.
Bucky’s eyes snapped back to the woman kneeling in front of him in between his legs. How did he end up on the couch? He didn’t remember moving to the couch. What happened? Why was this God-forsaken, weird-accented woman still calling him James?
"Why do you keep calling me James?"
"Answer my question."
"My name is Bucky."
"Bucky. Answer my question." He was sweating, and had a rather splitting headache he didn’t remember having. Sky blue eyes pulled away from emerald ones and tried to calmly count the amount of windows.
"Four." He stated, sounding calmer than he felt.
"How many doors?"
"Two."
"Good. My name is Rowan O'Connor. You seem not to remember me, which, considering our past is probably a good thing." She finished with a slight smile to her red-stained lips and took her hands off his shoulders. Standing up, she wiped some imaginary dirt off of her shorts before making her way to the love seat across from the couch Bucky was sitting on. He eyed the splintered coffee table suspiciously, but didn’t say anything.
"I found you two weeks ago lying face down in a dry creek bed in Virginia. You'd been shot twice; your right shoulder and your abdomen. Don't bother looking for any wounds. Our bodies heal faster than most." Bucky was trying to process the information. What did she mean by 'our bodies'? He couldn't wrap his head around any of this. Too many questions were going through his muddled brain. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He decided to start with a simple question first.
Rowan had sat back as comfortably as she could with cracked ribs after relaying the information to her fellow super soldier. She knew he had to have a million questions bobbing around in his head; who was she, why was she here, where did this arm come from, why couldn't he remember anything; but Rowan was very surprised by the first question Bucky voiced.
"How did you know about the food?" His voice came out low and gravelly still, even after the orange juice and water; clearly it was sore from not using it for at least half a month. Bucky noticed some hesitation before a quiet answer emerged from her lips.
"Let's just say I've… had some personal experience in this field before." He nodded in understanding, nearly choking on the thickness in the air that the seemingly simple question had brought on. Her nearly palpable nervousness about the topic gave him some much-needed confidence in the situation. It seemed, at least a little bit, that he wasn’t alone.
"You asked me earlier if I knew who you were. I don't know you. I mean, I don’t think I do. There’s glimpses. You’re eyes. I know I’ve seen them before... But I don’t have a name. Well, I have a word. But it isn’t a name, ‘least not where I’m from. But you know me. And it seems that I’m at your mercy," He stretched his body out a bit before grimacing.
Rowan stilled, just barely, she wasn’t sure if Bucky noticed. He had a word. There was a dictionary of words out there that he could remember about her. She wished it was something trivial, but she had a sickening feeling it was the one word she didn’t want anyone to remember. There was only a handful of people still alive that knew that word. When Rowan didn’t continue, Bucky spoke again, not feeling comfortable in the silence.
"And if what you said about where and how you found me was true, it seems you might be the one to thank for me being alive right now." He paused with a smirk. Rowan could see why so many women had swooned over him back in his Howling Commando days. She didn't really have a reply to his latest statement so she just looked at him, amazed at the difference brainwashing someone does to their features.
She remembered hard, strict jawlines. Stoic, dark blue eyes with thick, creased eyebrows. A five o’clock shadow that seemed to cover more than just his lower face. That shadow covered his mind, his heart. Bucky’s smirk faded a bit, growing impatient with the woman’s stillness. It was almost perverted the way her green eyes were moving over his face. So he tried again,
"Besides the obvious," he raised his left arm as indication to his biggest question,
"If you don't mind I'd like to know who my savior is, and not just a pretty name with an even prettier face." He lifted his light blue eyes slowly to meet Rowan's. Rowan raised her eyebrows slightly at the openness and willingness to speak coming from a man who had hardly spoken two words to her since they had first met over forty years ago.
Could she trust this man enough to give him the information he seemed so desperate to want? Was there any way he could have been assigned to eliminate her as his mission after DC? She thought hard while he waited for her to speak. She had seen him at his deadliest. There was no way that he was under any type of whatever brainwash thing HYDRA was known for; his eyes were too bright, his features too expressive; for now at least.
And she knew for a fact that no one working for HYDRA knew about what happened when Assets had been out of the freezer for too long. She knew the difference between someone who had been put on a mission and someone who didn't know what the hell was going on. So she went with her gut feeling.
"Well, I'm a lot like you. Actually we fought against each other more than once in the past forty years. It's-"
"Forty years? Listen lady, I’m only 26. You can’t be any older than I am. What I said earlier about your eyes, hey, I’m just saying, lots of dames have pretty green eyes.”
"If you'd let me finish…" She gave him a wry smile that showed a small dimple on her left cheek. He shut his mouth slowly.
"Like I was saying. It's gonna be kinda hard to explain who I am without first explaining who you are. So let’s start there and we’ll see how you’re feeling about my story afterwards, yeah?" Rowan rose from her position on the loveseat, deciding this was a conversation for the couch instead. His gaze followed her every move. Bucky was thinking hard about where they would have fought against each other; if she were even telling the truth. Did that mean she was working with the Nazi's? What year was it? She said over the last forty years?!
He took a breath… People had thought what happened to Steve was impossible, hell if he admitted, he had even had some questions about the whole thing. But he saw it with his own eyes. Maybe what he was about to hear wasn’t as crazy or impossible as he initially thought. He watched her wearily while she got comfortable on the couch next to him. He could feel the warmth radiating off her body. He enjoyed the warmth.
"Don't hurt yourself trying to think. Just sit back and relax a little, it's gonna be a long morning." Bucky looked out one of the windows, only to be met with a brick wall of another building not ten feet away. But he could tell by the ever lightening of the red bricks that the sun had started to rise, though the wind creaking at the window panes teased a storm coming through.
While Bucky was busy looking out the windows, Rowan quickly pulled a syringe out from under her, making it look like she was adjusting an ill fitted cushion. She didn’t want to take any more chances of Mr. Barnes having a fit while talking about the last forty years. The light blue liquid was the only thing she had known to exist that could take someone like Steve Rogers, The Winter Soldier, or herself down in under ten seconds.
Once again, something to thank Natasha for, maybe… Tony did the majority of the work, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a big thank you until she had tried it out properly. As it was, her body visibly relaxed when the dark haired man turned his head back to her and adjusted his seat on the opposite end of the brown leather couch.
"Okay, so… Who am I? I mean what exactly do you mean by that? I know who I am. I'm Sergeant James Buchannan Barnes, 107th, Howling Commandos. I was born in Shelbyville, Indiana in 1917 before moving to Brooklyn when my dad changed jobs. After I graduated high school I was drafted into the army.
“My best friend, Steve, he didn’t get in with me at first, but then they made that serum thing and we fought together, in the Howling Commandos. Never married, just a mom, dad, and little sister. I'm not sure what else you need to know about me…" he paused, taking in a deep breath and running his right hand through his shoulder length hair; still afraid to move the thing that had apparently replaced his left arm. Rowan held her breath, waiting for him to continue; she didn't want to overstep any boundaries he might have. When he didn't elaborate on himself any further, she decided to step in.
"Well, Bucky, it seems I've got a lot to catch you up on." And so the day passed on slowly for the two super human subjects. Rowan relaying The Winter Soldier's history that she had been forced to learn over her years as a soldier fighting "The Good Fight" against him, filling him in on some facts about herself, but leaving most of it out. Bucky listened closely to every word, anxiety growing with each passing hour.
-TTA-
Steve Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, paced back and forth nervously in front of the many screens decorating the walls of Tony Stark’s lab. The self-proclaimed genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist had graciously opened his home to the remaining Avengers after the fall of SHIELD and HYDRA. The Iron Man himself was nowhere to be found this morning, having stayed the night over at Pepper’s house (She insisted on keeping her penthouse overlooking Central Park for the times Tony drove her just a wee bit bonkers).
Sam was upstairs, still sleeping. Natasha sat in the middle of all the computer screens, every once in a while tapping rapidly on one keyboard or another. Not being able to keep the motion of Steve pacing rapidly out of her peripheral vision, she spun around in her chair and glared at him, stopping him in his tracks. The innocent look he gave her almost made her laugh despite the situation. She took a calming breath, he wasn’t doing this to annoy her. He was just worried about his friend.
She had tried to convince Steve to let it go, but she couldn’t do that with a clear conscience because she actually liked Steve, and since she enjoyed his innocent company most of the time, she couldn’t keep the fact that she was seventy-two percent sure where The Winter Soldier was.
Well, at least who he was with. That’s probably the biggest reason she wasn’t freaking out that a Nazi super soldier was on the loose. If anyone could handle him, it was Rowan.
