#rowancd

[rowansalvatore]

rowan abigail salvatore ; moodboard [4/?]

“ i don’t know why this is happening to me. ”

[rowansalvatore]

rowan abigail salvatore ; moodboard [3/?]

“ i know you’ll be there for me - even when no one else is ”

@gavinsalvatore

[rowansalvatore]

rowan abigail salvatore ; moodboard [2/?]

“ you’re supposed to be my dad, not my prison guard. ”

@damon-salvctore

[rowansalvatore]

                                                whispers

“But what if this pain never leaves me?” - Unknown

“The voices in my head are telling me I’m dead. I just haven’t caught up to them yet.” - Unknown

“I keep falling through the darkness trying to see the light, // carry on through the fog don't get left behind. // I forgot, the thought it even crossed my mind, // sending chills down my spine, keeps me up at night.” - thestand4rd

“I don’t know how I got here and I don’t know what’s happening to me anymore.” - k.v.k.

BAD HABITS

Rowan likes to do things on impulse, which often results in her getting into a lot of trouble.

Rowan bites and picks at her nails when she’s nervous, especially when she knows she’s done something she’s going to be reprimanded for.

BOTTLED UP

Rowan wishes sometimes that maybe life would just be easier without her. Maybe if she was never born her mother wouldn’t have died, or she wouldn’t be suffering.

[rowansalvatore]

                                                 stats

FULL NAME: Rowan Abigail Salvatore

SOMEONE THEY SEE AS A BEST FRIEND: @gavinsalvatore​

SEXUALITY: Bi-Curious

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

IDEAL PARTNER: Kind, loving, not afraid to challenge me, someone who actually loves me.

TURN ONS: I don’t know... someone cute? Not just a boy. Confidence. Neck kisses.

CRUSHES: Crushes? I don’t... I guess I don’t have any right now.

SOMEONE THEY WOULDN’T MIND HOOKING UP WITH: Hmm... @brayden-davis is a cutie - maybe I’ll work up the courage to talk to him.

SOMEONE THEY HATE: @kademadden and the witches who cursed me and my brother.

SOMEONE THEY WOULD LIKE TO SEE HURT: I want to say @kademadden but I don’t think I do anymore. I’d rather see the heretics who cursed Gavin and I dead.

SOMEONE THEY WOULD PROTECT: @gavinsalvatore @damon-salvctore @roxy-salvatore @aj-salvatore @stefansalvatore46 @xbeautifully--chaoticx

BIGGEST FEAR: Dying.

BIGGEST FANTASY: All this craziness stops and I can live a normal life.

BAD HABITS: Used to be drugs and alcohol, now it’s picking at my nail beds and not getting enough sleep.

BIGGEST REGRET: Losing my virginity to @kademadden at the point that I did. I wish I waited longer to give it up.

BEST KEPT SECRETS: When I was 9 I broke the lamp in the living room. Dad still thinks it was Gavin.

LAST THOUGHT: I don’t understand why he thinks grounding me is a good idea.

WORST ROMANTIC EXPERIENCE: I’ve only been with @kademadden so I guess he’s my best and my worst.

WHO THEY THINK THEIR NEXT ROMANTIC EXPERIENCE WILL BE WITH: No idea.

BIGGEST INSECURITY: My lack of solid foundations.

WEAPON OF CHOICE: Myself

ROLE MODEL: @damon-salvctore or @xbeautifully--chaoticx

[rowansalvatore]

Rowan had been thinking about getting a tattoo for a while, even before the whole special came up at the tattoo parlor, so when the deal arrived and when she found out she could get the whole thing for free, she jumped at the chance. She didn’t have much of an idea when she made her way out of the house that day, all she knew was that she was ready to be spontaneous, but not dangerous anymore.

How she ended up chopping the underside of her long brunette locks, she had no idea. She marched her way into the hair salon, looking to do something reckless when she figured out what she wanted to have inked on her skin. Her spine. The thing that keeps her stable, a piece of her that keeps her alive, keeps her feeling and moving and living. Her spine, her backbone, she wanted to remember that no matter what, she’ll be able to keep herself standing up straight. That she can do things on her own. Then it hit her. She wanted the tattoo to travel all the way up her neck, but with her little baby hair in the way, she wasn’t so sure that it would work out in her favor. So she fixed the problem. Promptly got the stylist to section off a base triangle at the nape of her scalp and chopped it off. Unneeded, unnecessary, her hair was thick enough as it was, losing a little bit of it wasn’t a huge deal.

And then the ink happened. The long spinal decoration that resembled her backbone making its way up as high as it could, fading off into her hairline. She sat on her stomach for hours as the needles pricked her skin over and over again. But the pain didn’t matter. She had felt worse, and this was something she needed to do before she ran out of time, for good.

[rowansalvatore]

                                                  how’d i get so faded?

                                                 trigger warning: drug abuse

Rowan’s had little to no control over her emotions over the four years she’s been on earth. More often than not, she can’t find herself in control. She’s like her mother in that sense. It doesn’t take much for her to give her heart away. Doesn’t take much for it to be shattered to pieces.

Rowan had gone to Marcel’s party thinking that everything would be fine. Had gone to the party dressing to impress, hoping she’d turn her boyfriend of a month or so on with her low cut v-neck dress and confident attitude. She just didn’t want to be a virgin anymore. And that night, she lost it to him. Let him take her and take her heart along with it. She felt special for once, and not just because of her rapid ageing. Someone had finally looked at her like she wasn’t a kid, finally taken into consideration the fact that even though she wasn’t an adult in reality, she wanted to be treated like one. She let him kiss her neck and pepper her collarbone with gentle kisses, let him slide  off the dress she was wearing and watched it fall to the ground of the hotel room, landing atop the petals that sat on the floor. She cautiously unbuckled his belt as he undid her bra strap, staring into his bright green irises. All she could see in them was a gentle, caring soul. He was careful with her, cautious in knowing that she had never done anything of the sort before. She kissed his lips gently, with a fervour that she had never felt before.

Turns out being an adult isn’t always the sunshine and roses Rowan wanted it to be.  That night, Rowan found out that Kade had been cheating on her with other girls. And to think she had given him everything? She was shattered, heartbroken. All she wanted to do was not feel the pain she was in anymore. She found herself falling back into her patterns of using to subside the pain. There was no sense of how she should have reacted, all she knew was that her emotions were too strong, too  invasive, and she wanted to get rid of them. So she did what she did best. Got high, let herself take a tab of LSD. At first, it didn’t work right away. She took another, and then some cocaine. Anything to try and dull the heartache she was feeling. By the end of the morning, she couldn’t count on one hand all the different types of drugs she had taken. She couldn’t describe exactly what she was feeling - a mix of highs and lows and everything in between, her emotions wouldn’t stabilize. She found herself ecstatically happy one moment, sobbing the next. Overall, she was out of it. She couldn’t tell the difference between imagination and reality. She even imagined Kade knocking at her attic room door, here to apologize for his actions, but in her state of mind, she couldn’t tell if he was there or not. Maybe he had actually come to apologize? Maybe he had come to say she was the one he wanted to be with. She would have said yes, would have taken him back in a heartbeat if he asked. She was too ruined to see that she didn’t deserve to be treated that way. All she wanted to be was loved, and if that meant by the man who hurt her, she’d gladly give him a second chance. In reality, she was lucky she hadn’t died. With the amount of toxins in her system, she was surprised that something hadn’t stopped working, but that was the last thing she cared about. If that was the only way to stop her heartache, then she would have welcomed it with open arms.

She didn’t expect her dad to find her. Didn’t expect the one person she’d been trying to keep in the dark about her problem to waltz into her room while she was high. But then again, she wasn’t thinking about it either. She was being reckless, careless. That’s how emotionally wrecked she was.

[rowansalvatore]

                                                 adult-esque questions

What college/university did they attend? If they didn’t go. Why not? If they want to go in the future..Where?

Rowan has yet to attend University, still trying and not quite succeeding to pass her grade 12 year with only four years of life experience. She hasn't even thought about it, moving on with college or university. Really, she's just taking it day by day, trying to get by.


What is their degree in? Why? Did it change? If they aren’t attending, what would they like to get a degree in? Why?

If Rowan had to choose to pick up a degree right now, she'd probably go for the fine arts. She finds herself taking an interest in her art classes the most, and her teacher's said that she's got a real talent, that is, when she's not skipping.

What is your character’s occupation? Why did they choose that job? Do they like it? What does a typical day look like? How much do they make?

Currently, Rowan's a student at the local high school, and she absolutely hates it. She doesn't like sitting in a class all day and she hates being told what she has to do and how to learn. She'd much rather sit in her room with her sketchbook and journal and be creative all day.