Ryan and Ray Destroy the Internet Chapter 13- Ryan and Ray Change the Internet
Summary: In the wake of Ray’s departure, Ryan has taken his place as the new meme guy. Of course, the title of “meme guy” is a title that nobody wants. After a really bad day, Ryan sees something horrible that makes him snap. Fortunately for him, he discovers a way to bring the whole system down, and with the help of Ray, it can all be possible. Join Ryan and Ray as they go on a journey of self-discovery, unnecessary violence, and all around bullshit. Join them as they go on a quest to destroy the internet once and for all
Chapter: 13/13
Word Count: 2,423
First / Previous / AO3
Ryan, Ray, and Kerry did stay in Compton for a while, like they said. They removed the things that pissed them off from the Internet permanently. Ryan and Ray went first because it was their quest in the first place. They then let Kerry remove what pissed him off from the Internet because he was with them and a part of their team now. After that they decided to remove the slander that had been posted about all the celebrity key holders as well, because they thought that would be fair for them.
“Ok, so the Internet is safer for us at least” Ryan said, as they were finishing up.
“I guess it is.” Ray replied with a sigh of relief.
“I didn’t even want to turn off the Internet and it’s better for me now” Kerry added with a smile. “But I don’t understand why we took down the slander about those particular celebrities. Are they like, your weird celebrity crushes of something?”
“No actually, were the people who held the keys first.” Ryan answered.
“Some of the fights were easy like playing Call of Duty of finding a wolf head. Others were harder, like talking someone out of a gun or a real physical fight.” Ray added to the answer.
Kerry nodded. “Ok. So what do we do now? Do we just go home and pretend like nothing happened?” he then asked.
“I think it’s a little late to pretend that none of this happened.” Ray said with a shrug.
Ryan grabbed the keys since they were finished with them. “I think maybe we should return these to their rightful owners.” he announced.
“Ooh! This sounds like fun! Can I come with at this point?” Kerry asked excitedly.
“I personally don’t see a problem with it.” Ray replied with a smile.
“We’re all in trouble enough as is, so why the fuck not.” Ryan said with a sigh.
“SWEET!” Kerry exclaimed happily.
They decided to go in a weird order to return the keys. They started out with Kim. They drove back to her house.
“I still don’t understand why there isn’t security,” Ryan said in confusion.
“Well she did say that Kanye drove them bankrupt.” Ray replied as he got out of the car.
Ryan and Kerry quickly did the same. “Ooh! What was the fight with Kim like? I bet it was a fashion off!” Kerry guessed.
“Actually, we just told her what we were going to do and she was ok with that. That why we also wanted to take down the bad stuff about who we fought.” Ryan replied.
The group got to the door and rang the doorbell. Kanye answered the door. “Are you fuckers here to trigger Kim into all those Kanye insults again?” he asked.
“Oh my god Kanye West I love your music!” Kerry said happily.
“That’s what I said when I saw him to!” Ray happily agreed with Kerry.
“Actually-” Ryan paused and took out the key to handed it to Kanye. “We wanted to return this to Kim. We did what we were trying to do. And if she asks why she can still go on the Internet, tell her to see what comes up when she googles herself.” He finished.
Kanye took the key. “Alright then. Now will you jackasses get out of here?!” Kanye said as he slammed the door in their faces.
“Well that went swimmingly.” Ryan said sarcastically
“Does that mean he hates us?” Kerry asked sadly
“No, he’s just Kanye.” Ray answered.
Next they went off to find Andy Samberg. A quick Google search told them where he and the rest of Lonely Island were staying. They drove to that location next.
“As much as I love Kanye, Lonely Island has a special place in my heart.” Kerry said as he pet Joe.
“It’s apples and oranges.” Ray replied.
“I’m also surprised he’s not more so in New York. I mean, that’s where Brooklyn is.” Ryan said, as he was the first one to get out of the car this time.
Ray and Kerry shrugged as they walked to his trailer. Ryan caught up with them and all of them knocked on the door to the trailer.
“Huh? What? Oh it’s you guys. With a new guy.” Andy said as he answered the door.
“It’s nice to meet you Andy!” Kerry said happily.
“What’s up with this new guy? Is he gonna try and fight me? And why are there only good things about me on the Internet now? I thought you were gonna destroy it.” Andy asked.
“There was a change of plans. We found one of our friends from home along the way, and we did destroy all the things we hate on the Internet. So we’re done and you can have your key back.” Ray said as he handed Andy his key.
“Sweet! Thank you!” Andy thanked the group.
“And now we’ll be out of your hair.” Ryan said started to turn to walk off.
“Wait. Before you go, Can you tell Burnie and Gus and those other guys who work on your podcast, that I’m sorry about breaking the table on the podcast set?” he asked last.
“We’re getting a new podcast set anyway. And that was happening before you visited. But yeah I can tell them that.” Ryan answered.
Then the group got back in the car and took a few day days to drive up to New York.
“Ok. So first we just return the key to the Tumblr guy. We do it sooner, then we don’t have to think about it again.” Ryan said to Ray.
“We’ll do as we must.” Ray replied curtly as he rolled his eyes.
“There was a fuzzy pink, ‘Flamethrower of Compassion’ in the trunk. You can use that to defend yourself from the crazies. Or you could put on those weird costumes in the back and maybe they won’t go anywhere near you.” Kerry suggested.
“I forgot about the flamethrower. Thanks for reminding me.” Ray said with a smile.
Then all three of them got out of the car. Ray grabbed the flamethrower from the back. They entered the Tumblr headquarters and saw just as many bloggers as they had seen the first time.
“OMG THAT RAY NARVAEZ JR. FUCKER IS BACK TO TRIGGER US MORE. WE SHOULD TAKE HIM OUT THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” the same blogger that had give them trouble the first time yelled to get the attention of the entire room. Then a hoard of angry bloggers started charging at them.
“Ray if I were you, I’d be triggered right now.” Ryan said to Ray.
Then Ray pulled the trigger and made the flamethrower start going. “Man I thought the bad puns were gonna be over when we were done.” Ray said as he rolled his eyes. “I have no idea what’s going on or why these people are so pissed.” Kerry admitted.
“Let’s just go give this key back to Karp so we can get the fuck out of here.” Ryan said.
“Let’s just slip this under the door so we can be done with this faster. Ray said
Kerry walked behind Ray so he could drive everyone away. When they got to the door, Ryan slid the key under the door. Then they were able to get out of there faster.
Then Ryan and Ray changed into the costumes that they had gotten from the What Pumpkin building before. Then the whole group drove up to the What Pumpkin building and parked
“So what’s up with the weird costumes? I saw them in the back earlier and I didn’t get them then. I don’t know what they mean, but they gotta mean something.” Kerry said confused.
“We don’t know what they mean either.” Ryan said.
“But they are kinda an inevitability where we’re going. I’m surprised you actually put the leggings back on, Ryan.” Ray said with a smirk.
“Trust me, I’m not enjoying this. I just didn’t want to lose my clothes again.” Ryan said with a sigh.
“I am so confused right now.” Kerry admitted.
“I hope you don’t like your clothes that much.” Ryan replied as he walked towards the door.
“Huh?”
“You’ll see when we get inside.” Ray said as he took Kerry’s hand and took him to the door.
First Ryan stepped in. Then Ray and Kerry stepped in. they fell until the stopped and floated in paradox space.
“I am so confused right now.” Kerry said.
Then Ray looked up at Kerry. “Well at least you look good in pink” he said.
Then Kerry looked down. He was wearing what looked like pink sweatpants, a pink shirt with a heart design on it and a long sleeve darker pink shirt underneath, and a pink cape. “Da fuck is this?” he asked.
“We still don’t know either. Let’s just go to the orb that doesn’t give you cancer and just give Hussie back the key.” Ryan said as he floated towards the orb.”
“I wanted Tumblr to be finished and now he wants leggings to be finished.” Ray laughed as he and Kerry followed him into the orb.
All three of them fell and hit the ground when they entered the orb. They immediately found Hussie hiding behind a rock, staring at a gray girl with candy corn colored horns and a Scorpio shirt.
“I thought you were going to turn everything off.” Hussie asked the group.
“Plans changed.” Ryan answered curtly.
“Then I remembered I wasn’t really free of this. You found your Knight of Heart, and I remembered that I still have Hiveswap to work on despite that fact that the comic is finished.”
“I still have no idea what’s going on.” Kerry said again.
“Well, the Internet is still gonna be a thing, so people can read whatever comic you’re talking about. And here’s your key.” Ray said as he handed Hussie the key.
“Looks like you’re the ones whom are truly free of your burden.” Hussie said as he took the key.
Then the group was teleported outside the building.
“What even was that?” Kerry said.
“I’m not even completely sure. Let’s just get you new clothes, get changed, and go to Flavor Town, then D.C., then home.” Ryan said quickly.
They got Kerry new clothes. Then they went to “Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar”.
“Can we have three ‘Trip to Flavor Town’ specials?” Ryan asked the waiter that was serving their table.
“Why are we worried about food? I thought we were gonna return the key to Guy.” Kerry said.
“The burger is worth the expense. And it might give a trip to literal ‘Flavor Town’ again” Ray answered.
Then their food came out. Kerry took a bite of his burger. “Holy shit this thing is amazing” Kerry gushed as he continued to take bites of his food. Then the waiter brought them their key to ‘Flavor Town’. When they finished their food, they took Kerry down the stairs that led to ‘Flavor Town’. “Oh I get it. The burger was good enough to give you enough energy to handle these stairs.” Kerry said.
“Never thought about it that way.” Ray replied.
Then the made it to ‘Flavor Town’ Guy descended down to meet them. “Welcome to- wait. Are you guys gonna try and fight me again?” he asked.
“Actually, I know I tried to fight you last time, but this time we’re here to give you back your key.” Ryan said as he handed to key back to Guy.
“Good. No fork this time. Did you ever actually finish those god awful Wendy’s burger?” Guy asked.
“Eventually.” Ray said with a smile. “But they honestly are nothing compared to the food here”
“Good” Guy replied. Then the group was teleported outside.
“So D.C. then?” Ryan asked.
“Well you did say that in the beginning” Ray responded.
Then the group drove down to D.C. they parked outside of the White House again.
“Maybe they won’t blow up this Prius since it is the one they gave us in the first place” Ryan said hopefully.
“Wait, Obama gave you a Prius?” Kerry asked.
“Unfortunately. And I wonder if we’ll find Biden stuck in the fence again.” Ray answered. They walked around the White House until they did spot Biden again. His head did get stuck in the fence as soon as he spotted the group.
“OH MY GOSH RYAN HAYWOOD AND BROWNMAN HAVE RETURNED TO ME! And this time they also brought Kerry Shawcross. You better be careful of Barack’s daughter, Mr. Shawcross. She wasn’t happy that you killed off Penny and Pyrrha this last volume.”
“Monty had that planned before it was our jobs.” Kerry said in an attempt to defend himself.
“And we won’t be here long. We just wanted to give you back your key.” Ray said as he handed the key back to Biden.
“Oh and this won’t be the last time I see you. Barack said since this year ain’t an election year for us and we’re on our was out, I’m allowed to go to Let’s Play Live this year.” Biden replied excitedly as he took the key back from Ray.
“So home now?” Ryan asked.
“Yep.” Ray replied.
The group drove all the way back to Austin. They got back to the office after a few more days. Then they all got out of the car.
Ryan handed the last key to Burnie. “Ok. So give this last key to Burnie when you give him Joe back. I’m not even surprised he survived in the trunk of the Prius at this point.” Ryan said.
Then Kerry saluted. “Yes sir!” he responded. Then he took the last key from Ryan and took that and Joe inside. Then Ryan and Ray walked inside.
They walked inside. They immediately walked to the Achievement Hunter office. “Ok we’re back. Sorry it took so long.” Ryan said as he walked over to his desk and sat down.
“What are we gonna film? Hope it’s not Minecraft.” Ray said as he sat down at his old desk. Everyone stared at him in shock. “What?”
“Uh. Ray.” Geoff said.
“What is it Geoff?”
“You don’t work here anymore.”
“Shit. I forgot. Welp. I’m gonna go home then. I hope Tina actually let’s me back even though we didn’t do what we were planning on.” Ray said has he got up and left the room.
And everything was back to the way it was before, with slight changes to the Internet.