summary: the reader gets into an accident which causes her to lose her memory. as Ruel begins to rebuild their relationship and recall the good memories between them, some bad ones are restored as well and might threaten their future.
masterlist part 2
Word Count: 3.6 k
Thoughts of worse case scenarios and disasters clouded his mind. After getting that unforeseen phone call, there was nothing left to do except book the earliest flight and rush his way to her.
Ruel wasn’t given too many details. All he was told was that his girlfriend had a drunk Uber driver, the crash was big, and her head was hurt badly. He’d never felt more helpless in his life before. And the 16-hour flight was beginning to feel like it would never end. He never slept through flights but he also never sat up staring at the home screen of the airplane monitors, either. There was no listening to music or audiobooks when his mind provided enough loud thoughts to last a lifetime. Ruel’s head felt heavy. He kept replaying their last conversation over and over again. Guilt flooded any positive bridges he tried to aid his confidence with some hope that maybe she would be okay at the end of all this. But even if her life wasn’t ending, would she even want him to be apart of it anymore?
The piercing sounds of his mental tyranny were silenced once he heard the pilot’s announcement of a successful landing. Ruel couldn’t be bothered with the idea of getting a hotel room or even trying to see what clothes he packed in the small bag he made in his rush to the airport. He knew there was a chance that he might not be able to see her at all since members outside of the family were usually prohibited from visiting ICU patients, but none of that mattered. He just needed to know what was going on. He had tried to stay in close contact with her parents and brother during his travels but between the timezones and lack of signal on the plane, he was only informed of her need for an emergency brain surgery that night. It was almost 8 am when he arrived so he assumed that she would be asleep if she was even out of the procedure by then.
He was immediately met with Y/N’s younger brother in the lobby of the hospital. Ruel knew something was off by how quiet her brother was being in the elevator. When he saw him click one of the highest buttons on the navigation panel, he immediately questioned what the letters “SC” stood for. His suspicions were gone as soon as they made it to the floor and he read the sign ahead of him which said “Special Cases Unit.”
Her mother was more than ecstatic to see him and embraced him with a huge hug when she caught view of the two boys.
“I’m so glad you’re here…...I’m so sorry, I don’t even know what happened.” She was struggling to speak in between sobs. Ruel rubbed her back while his heart broke right along with hers. She finally pulled back to look up into his swollen eyes.
“Is she...okay?” His thick accent was amplified and Adam's apple quivered as he tried to choke back his own cries. Her mom fell back into her seat as if her body couldn’t take anymore and Y/N’s father stepped in to answer Ruel’s question.
“She’s okay, physically. She woke up about two hours after the procedure. But she’s not...there all of the way.” The concerned look in Ruel’s eyes turned into confusion and it felt as though all of the worse case scenarios that he imagined were becoming a reality.
“What-what does any of this mean? Did the brain surgery not go well? What’s wrong with her?”
“She doesn’t know who we are.”
His world seemed as if it were crashing down around him. His vision grew cloudy as it did when he initially got the phone call with the news of the crash, but he tried to pay as close enough attention to what was being told to him so that he could do whatever needed to be done. Ruel always feared losing the ones he loved, but he never imagined any of them being taken away from him in this manner. This felt all so...torturous. As if there was a higher being up above pulling the strings of coincidence and having a huge laugh at his expense.
Everything appeared to be light when he walked into the recovery room. Like the entire room was covered in a comforting aura, not too different from the way Y/N had of making someone feel with her presence before the accident.
Her bedding was covered with her favorite blue quilt, her feet were exposed but covered in adorable fuzzy sheep socks. Ruel assumed she was sleeping by the silence in the room. He grabbed one of the couch chairs, scooted it closer towards her bedside, and decided to take a nap. Her mother had already extended an invitation for him to spend as much time as he wanted in there since they would have a lot to talk about and she could see the exhaustion worn out on his face from the sudden travels taken.
Y/N’s head was turned to the other side of the room, but he could see that it was wrapped in fresh gauze from the procedure. He didn’t want to get in her face and startle her if she woke up since she didn’t know who he was. However, Ruel found himself restless as he awaited the moment he would get to “meet” his girlfriend. Another part of him was thanking fate for granting him a chance to relive their relationship without regrets. He thought about what he would do differently. He thought about whether or not she would even want to be with him in the first place. She did before, and he was still the same person, so nothing should have changed. Hopefully it didn’t.
The back and forth in his head was hushed with the soft coo of her voice. He hadn’t even noticed that she had turned around to look at him.
“Hi,” she repeated with the same soft smile she had given him the first time they’d met. It was clear that she had no idea who he was. And by the rosy tint in her cheeks, she was still very much infatuated with him.
“...hi.” He tried to respond in an eager tone, but not too eager, as he didn’t want to freak her out or come on too strong. He didn’t want to seem like a creepy dude who waited at her bedside to speak with her, but that was exactly what he was.
She started to sit up in her bed and Ruel stood in concern with his arms out toward her.
“I don’t know if you should be doing that yet, you just had some major procedures.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” She gave him a hesitant look. She was obviously freaked out by the stranger sitting in front of her. The girl who was once so comfortable around him was now slowly backing away from him in small scoots as much as she could in the tiny hospital bed she laid in.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to scare you.” He was met with another blank stare from her.
“Just wanna make sure you’re comfortable.” Ruel smiled at her which granted him a smile back.
When she smiled back at him, she went to push up her glasses that were currently not on her face. Something she only did when she was nervous.
“Excuse my forwardness, but if you don’t mind, who exactly are you?”
Very forward.
The question didn’t hurt Ruel half as much as he anticipated it to. In reality, he was just grateful to be sat down talking with her at all. He could almost call it a miracle that she was still here with him but he refused to think how much worse her conditions could have been.
Instead, he simply smiled and replied, “I’m Ruel.”
“Ruel, Ruel. That’s a cool name. I’m Y/N.”
His smile grew bigger. He didn’t expect her to remember anything, let alone her own name. “Yeah, I know.”
“Oh, yeah. That makes sense,” she began to look down and play with the ring on her hand before looking up at him again with hopeful eyes.
“So how do we know each other, Ruel?”
Ruel hesitated to respond. How weird would it be to say ‘I am your boyfriend,’ to someone who you just met two minutes ago? Well, more like met you two minutes ago. She had two minutes of memories with him and he had two years of memories with her. He wasn’t some random guy taking advantage of her memory loss who was posing as her boyfriend to get close to her. Her family wouldn’t have let him get through to the room if that was the case. It’s not like she knew who they were, either.
“We were friends.”
“Friends, huh? Well okay. That’s cool. We must’ve been best friends since you’re up here to visit me this early in the morning.”
“Yeah, we were. I uh, actually got you that ring you’re wearing there,” he pointed to her left hand which sported the blue promise ring he gave her after some anniversary that he couldn’t even remember. He was shocked that she had it on.
“So you lied then, huh” Ruel’s expression turned to confusion and she erupted into laughter. “You didn’t tell me we were married, Ruel.” She pushed her imaginary glasses back again and tried to pull down the right sleeve of her sweater. This tone she had about her, he recognized it. She was flirting with him.
And then he laughed with her. Still a nervous laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.
“Hah, yeah. See the thing is, not married but we were together.”
“Together? Like, together together?”
He could only nod in response. What was he to say to her in this situation? Her reaction to this was simply going to determine the course of their relationship from there forward.
“Like boyfriend and girlfriend? Is that so?” She joked in a matter-of-factly tone.
That didn’t sound like a positive tone.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No, not at all. It’s just unbelievable.” Her face read pure disbelief.
Was she being serious? Had she no idea how crazy he was about her? Of course, she didn’t. In the early stages of their relationship, Y/N struggled with insecurities and the need for reassurance that Ruel was actually into her. He gave her all of the comfort she needed and he was more than willing to do it again. It was weird to think that she was there but not there.
“Okay well I need some proof here, Ruel.”
“Proof?”
“You can’t just hop in and say you’re my boyfriend and then not have anything to back it up on. For all I know, you could be some deranged stranger who snuck into my room and is taking advantage of my memory loss.” Huh, maybe it wasn’t as far fetched as he thought.
She ended that last statement with a proud smile which made him chuckle softly. Her expression shifted from her cheeky grin into a perplexed smirk as she hesitated to continue the conversation. He sat back down and gave her the signal to go ahead.
“Do you have any pictures of us?”
“Sure, here’s one right now,” he moved with a nervous quickness as he patted down his pants to fish for his phone out of a pocket. He motioned it towards her to grab.
It was his lockscreen. The two of them, in a room of some sort. Maybe a bedroom? He was sitting in an office chair and she sat on his lap. They were laughing at each other or something. His large hand cupped the side of her face while the other wrapped firmly around her waist. She finally looked up from the screen to take another look at him for an explanation. He was studying her intently.
“Yeah, so uh this was basically the last time you came to visit me at home. About two weeks ago. My sister took the picture. It’s one of my favorites at the moment.”
Y/N took another look at the phone screen before dropping her head low. Her eyes began to build up willowy clouds of tears and she let out a soft cry. Ruel bent his head down to meet her eyes with concern. Confusion erupted and he looked confused as to what had just happened.
“What’s wrong? Do you need me to get a nurse? What’s going on?”
Y/N sniffled and wiped her nose with the fuzzy blanket that covered her legs. When she lifted her head to meet his eyes, hers were red and puffy. Ruel stared at her with hurt in his own eyes. It looked as if he just wanted to take away any pain that she was feeling.
Y/N’s eyelashes fluttered open and her sleepy face morphed into a stern mug. The constant beeping from her monitors went from a soothing lullaby to an annoying alarm. She turned her head slightly to see the long haired boy staring back at her hopelessly. The fading lights from the tv in the corner of her ceiling illuminated his face. How long had she been asleep?
“you’re still here,” her voice hummed out.
He let out a low chuckle, “I am.” A clear silence hung above them. Not awkward this time, just still.
“I can leave if you want. I mean, if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“-no, no. You should stay. I like the company.”
He smiled. “Well good. Because I didn’t really plan on leaving anyways.” The silence was cut by mutual laughter.
“It’s just a little weird, though.”
Ruel tilted his head in curiosity, “What’s weird?”
“Oh, you know. Spending time with a girl who doesn’t know who you are,” her face grew into a cold smile again. She may not have remembered much but she never lost her sarcasm.
“Or anything about herself,” she added and looked down again.
“I didn’t have any other places to go in mind when I bought my plane ticket.”
“You flew out here?” He nodded. “Oh wait, you said in the picture that I came to visit you ‘at home.’ Where’s home for you?”
“Sydney, Australia. That’s where I live.”
“Ohhhhh. So that’s where the accent came from. Okay. Cool, cool.” After saying that, her lips puckered into a pout. She seemed weirdly accepting of everything. Her cute reactions to learning things about him was so entertaining to him.
“Wait, how did I end up with a boyfriend from Australia?” Her fascination in him was adorable. It was also refreshing to have this new sense of discovery between the two of them.
Ruel’s exhaustion all but faded away once he got carried away with explaining the entire story of how they met to Y/N. He answered every question that she had without hesitation. He told her everything he could think of and she listened with open ears. He talked to her until the exhaustion hit and he fell asleep mid sentence. She just laid there and watched him in admiration. He had clearly used every ounce of energy left to pay her attention and his restful state was quite angelic. His arms were crossed and he sat up in the lounge seat adjacent to the bed. His head laid to the side, lips pierced slightly opened where little snores escaped. Y/N was crushing hard.
“Guess what I did today,” she suggested eagerly as she snatched a green bear from the bag sitting in Ruel’s lap across from her and proceeded to chew the head off.
“What’d you do?” He gave her a soft smile.
Ruel enjoyed the back and forth that they were able to enjoy. Things were starting to feel normal. In a weird, very not normal way.
“I remembered my parents.”
Ruel felt himself slightly choke on the few gummy bears he had just stuffed into his mouth. He wasn’t expecting that. It had only been two days.
“What did you remember?” He managed to get out between muffled chews. He tried to hide his disbelief. It shouldn’t have come as much of a shock to him, though. Y/N was always extra resilient in difficult times.
“As weird as it is, I remembered the most random memory of them. We were all gathered in the kitchen to help my brother. Jason, no. His name is John I think. He was sick though. And we were all trying to make him take his medicine. And then, all of a sudden, I grabbed the little cup and drank the cough syrup for him. And he got all jealous that I had drank his medicine. Then they both-both of my parents-also drank a little cup full of the medicine. He drank it so fast,” she laughed and used her hands to narrate the story.
“We never had a problem with the medicine again.” Y/N turned her head back to him and folded her hands in her lap.
Ruel stood up and began pacing the room. He was excited. “That’s good. That’s so good. I wish I would’ve been here to witness it. I bet your mom cried.” She laughed in response and confirmed his assumption.
“Well, even stalkers need rest sometimes,” she joked in reference to the new nickname she’d labeled Ruel as a stalker. That was all he did after all: stare at her and break for sleep in the hotel down the street.
Ruel floated across the room and towards her bed. He pressed his hands against the rails at the end of it. “I wonder what else you could remember if we triggered it. Do you remember what happened right before you got the memory?”
“Not really. We were just talking at it all came to me. I remembered their names and everything. It felt nice.” She nonchalantly continued to steal the gummy bears from his bag that he’d left in her lap.
Ruel looked up as if he was brainstorming up a plan to jog some more memories.
“So we just need to talk more. Maybe if I bring you some items to help bring some stuff back.”
“Items?”
“Yeah, a few things I have from you. You get kind of...emotionally attached to material things. I’ve grown quite a collection over the time we’ve spent.”
“Ooh, maybe if you could bring me a few pictures to look at. That might help.” She watched him pace around the room. It felt as if they were a team working together to solve a mystery. Or find hidden treasure. The treasure in this case were her memories. They seemed so valuable and delicate since she didn’t have them anymore.
“I have to go home in a few hours. I can bring some things when I come back.”
She looked up at him as if he’d just killed her best friend. “You’re leaving?”
“Only for a while, honey. I just have to get some things in line. I kind of left without any notice. But I plan on taking more time off to spend with you.”
“Is um...Nate gonna be okay with the amount of time you took off? That’s his name, right?”
“Hah, yeah. It’s Nate. And everyone is very understanding of the circumstances. They all just want to see you get better.” He looked up at her with optimism as he sat back down. Anytime she would bring up the outside world or his very real responsibilities, he would shut her down. Ruel was dead set on focusing just on Y/N and what she needed at all times. It made her wonder about their relationship sometimes. Made her wonder if she gave him half as much love as he gave her. Trying to somehow figure out what she did to deserve such kind people to take care of her.
“Well, tell them that I appreciate it.”
He reached out to place his hand on top of hers. His fingertips graced on top of the IV coming out of her hand. His were much larger than hers. It was kind of funny to look at. “Will do,” he remarked with a smile.
“So you don’t think there will be any consequences to the sudden break you’re taking in your career? Like, won’t the fans be disappointed?” He had told her a little about his life, but not in too much detail. All she knew was that he was a singer and he was pretty popular among teenage white girls. When he showed her some of his music online, she was shocked by the amount of success he’d acquired over such a short time period. Her favorites were “Younger” and “Don’t Cry” but she really enjoyed all of it. He loved watching her listen to his music for the first time. Well, the second first time.
He took her hand in a firm grip. “They’ll all understand. They love you almost as much as I do.” She smiled back at him. The connection was obviously still there. He always told her he loved her in middle of conversations or right before he would leave, but she never said it back. Ruel told her he understood. He understood that she didn’t want to say anything she didn’t mean. But he also explained to her that even though her feelings had gone away, his never did.
“Yeah well hopefully you can last this plane ride without leaking any other cover art to them,” she turned her head at him in a joking manner.
He laughed, “Yeah hopefully.” Ruel looked back up at her. He couldn’t believe it.
“Wait, what?” The last time Ruel took the long flight from visiting Y/N, he’d been so disoriented from lack of sleep that he accidentally posted a picture of the new cover art for an unreleased song on his story instead of sending it to a friend. He never mentioned that to her.
She looked confused. “What?”
“Y/N, you remember that? You just remembered that. The thing about the picture. How’d you remember that?”
Her smile revealed her teeth this time. “Huh, I don’t know. I guess I just did.”
