Today I broke the rules!
Today I broke the rules!
Visiting a company today I parked in the Managing Director’s overly sized parking space. The Managing Director was apparently not on site but the receptionist appeared from nowhere at breakneck speed to tell me in no uncertain terms that I couldn’t park there. What ensued was 3 people being disturbed from their work to rearrange their cars to make space for me – cost to the organisation – who knows? As I left the meeting two hours later the MD’s overly sized space was still vacant.
Some Chinese friends told me recently that in China it is customary to carry large amounts of cash in case you have to pay for something in an emergency. For example if there is a minor road accident a deal can be struck there and then without resorting to insurance companies.
Other people have told me that they always sit in the same chair to watch television, cut the top off a chocolate bar in a particular way, never run for more than 10 minutes at a time, only eat fish on certain days of the week, check their bank account every hour, count everything in sight – the patterns on the wall paper, paperclips, street lights, people in the room at a party or at the theatre.
So where do these rules we make for ourselves, our organisations and our communities come from? Rules can form the very fabric of who we are and what we represent and have a habit of creeping up on us. If unchallenged we can continue to live by a set of what could be an arbitrary set of rules which impact our behaviour sometimes positively and sometimes in a limiting way.
Of course, many rules exist to enable society, individuals and organisations to function safely. In fact I would argue that all rules have a safety element behind them. Take road traffic rules for example – they exist to create a code of conduct which keeps people safe. In organisations both written and unwritten rules can develop out of best practice and dictate the behaviour of those employed by the organisation. But what about the rules that have crept up and become part of who we are? Where did they come from? Was it your upbringing as a child? Was it the school you went to? Are they the result of your past experiences in any context? Are they a result of your metaprogramme profile?
What rules have I set for myself?
In what way does each rule keep me safe?
Is it stopping me from doing something?
How else could I satisfy my need for safety?
Does anyone else have this rule?
What do you believe about each rule?
Does it come from a metaprogramme (see on line profiler)?
What would happen if you changed your rules?
Societal rules
Who’s got it right?
I was staying in a hotel whilst training. The hotel was a small family run hotel and the only one of its calibre in the area. As I was having dinner I watched a group of elderly people gather at the bar. From their conversation this was a regular Wednesday evening event and an opportunity for these people to get dressed up and have dinner together. As the waiter indicated that dinner was being served each lady took the arm of a gentleman and carefully walked the length of the dining room to their table which was at the far end. On reaching the table, one lady who had been one of the slower walkers with a slight limp, realised she had left her drink in the bar and all but ran back to the bar to retrieve it. So what was the societal rule which led to the behaviour about being elderly here?
Deepak Chopra advocates that getting old is a learnt behaviour and dictated to by the society in which we live. We have plenty to tell us we are getting old in the west – bus passes at the age of 60, statutory retirement age, concessionary entry into public events. In the east there are communities who view age very differently referring to the years of 60 plus as the sage years to be admired and sought after, working and fathering children well into their 90’s.
Nonsense rules
Here are some that we have come across that appear to be nonsense but if you dig deep there will be a belief behind them –
Ü Never step on the cracks in the pavement
Ü When sitting I must count things – the stripes in the wallpaper, the patterns on the carpet, the cats eyes in the road
Ü Always take the number 24 bus, even though the 33 and 31 go to the same place
Ü Put the sticker from the bananas on the side of my desk every day
Ü Say hello to the statue in the park as I pass it on the way to work every morning.
Ü Always take the third slice of bread out of a loaf
Ü Always check the time on the station clock even though I already know the time.
These may seem like innocent activities, and for many people they are, but ask yourself what positive things you could be thinking about if your mind was not caught up in these silly dances that serve only to keep your mind distracted from other things. Also note that any kind of thinking uses energy. You can get tired just sitting and thinking. The more you focus on your outcomes the more quickly and easily they will be achieved. The more distractions you have the less focus and energy will be available to you.
Organisational Rules
Over-interpretation of health and safety regulations have given us a whole set of societal rules. Working in an overheated room within an organisation recently I asked if it was possible to open a window. The window was a little lower than normal and about a metre square. The question was met with shock and horror from a lady from the Human Resources Department who declared that someone might fall out. Unless they were given an almighty shove and pushed forcibly through the window this was highly unlikely but nonetheless the lady was reacting to the rules she was having imposed upon her.
What are the written and unwritten rules in your organisation/team? I bet you’ll find a few around presentations! Do they ever get challenged? Are they stifling creativity? What new ideas can you come up with to make improvements? Try using this article as the basis for a team challenge. Have fun!
Pat Hutchinson - Executive Professional Coach and Marshall Goldsmith Accredited Stakeholder Centred Coach.
Quadrant 1 International
