runaway #8
Summary: Shinwon knew that he had done everything he could to have at least one of his wishes be granted.
It all started when Shinwon entered high school. He had been changing schools since he was 9 years old and at that time, he changed again, leaving him no friends to be with during lunch, but himself. Indeed, it was unfortunate for him to think that maybe life would give him what he wanted. He had been a good boy. Years have passed and he always did what his parents wanted him to do.
But never what he actually wanted to do.
Sometimes it makes him wonder, was he born and fed out of obligation, or did his parents actually wanted him to be born?
It's just funny for him how his family was supposed to be his home but living inside the 2-storey concrete never made him feel at home.
His family had money, connections, and everything there is to give him a good life, but never his life.
When he said that he has everything, he was telling the truth. But of all the things that he owns, he never owned himself that was why he ran away.
He worked hard, so hard that he thought his bones would rip apart and his muscle would give up on him. He worked at multiple part time jobs, just anything to feed himself thrice a day. He never bothered to finish his education, he never bothered to look back at the luxury he left behind. He remained at this road forward and dragged his legs to reach its end.
Just something to give his life a meaning.
It amazes him how a person like him couldn't feel anything. People would greet him and wishes him good lucks and a delightful birthday, but he still couldn't feel anything.
He didn't know how it felt to have someone. He thought he was going insane because he doesn't even know who he is either. He was being a fucking good boy and all the fucks he could've described but what he realized after being discouraged for a lot of times is that even if you wanted something, it doesn't mean that it's meant for you.
That was why he gave up.
But when he saw Hui's smile? It was the epitome of kindness, greatness, courage, and brokenness that he was longing for. It was the meaning that he was searching for.
If he ran away before because he lost the meaning of his life, he ran away now because he finally found the way to have some meaning on his life.
He'd not lie if he said that he's scared. In fact, he was more than scared right now. After his weeks in the shit hole of a cave that Wooseok calls home, he's scared that if ever he entered their lives, it will eventually come to an end, like how it always was. He's scared that if he held Wooseok, Jinho and Hui to his grasp, they'd break, slowly, just because he didn't know what it feels like to be a human.
But he was trying.
He really is.
Please, trust me. He mumbled through his breath.
His eyes were still closed but he can feel his tears forcing their way out to fall down to his pillow.
The others were asleep, but there he is, reminiscing and is unable to rest.
He ran his fingers to his cheeks and blocked everything from seeing his tears falling. He can't wake anyone up, and not when he's this vulnerable.
They may be packed close to each other, but his body feels heavier, pushing him to the ground, having no one to hold on to.
And while he was forcing the sobs inside his throat, Hui was awake, and finally raised his body and looked over at Shinwon who was struggling.
Hui always knew what to do. For some reason, he always knew when his kindness could touch people's hearts. But now, he wasn't even sure if there is anything out there to touch.
Would it be okay talk to him? Maybe not, maybe yes.
But how would he know if he wouldn't even try?
That was why he sat up and reached out to Shinwon's hands pulling him to sit up and face him.
In the middle of the room where no windows could be found, but only a lamp illuminating the darkness that accompanied the four men, Hui was able to see the glinting tears that Shinwon has been fighting off.
Though there was a resistance that blocks Hui's hands, Hui was more than determined to care for someone, even if he doesn't leave any care for himself.
"Shinwon, let us talk," Hui was urging Shinwon by pulling him but the lips of the latter slowly wavered and formed a wide frown.
His soft sobs were starting to be audible and Hui felt Shinwon's hand shake from the overwhelming feeling.
"You can't hide from us forever, you know," Hui once again pulled Shinwon but in contrary to earlier, now he was successful.
A crying face from the taller welcomed Hui's tired face, but Hui only smiled using his eyes and lips and wiped the tears that streamed down Shinwon's face.
"What if I showed you who I am and instead of running away with me, you run away from me?"
Hui's smiles momentarily fell and his world slowed down when he heard that from Shinwon. Though his words were mumbled, Hui was still able to hear them loud and clear.
He did his best not to show the shock that Shinwon gave him and regained his usual smile and caressed Shinwon's head.
Anyway, who is he to run away from anyone?
"You're not the only one who has monsters, we all have, that is why rely on us because we are here to run away from our hells and not leave you on yours."
Shinwon cried on Hui's shoulders and didn't mind even if the other two who were sleeping soundly heard his cries. For the first time in his life, him being a good boy paid off because finally, someone heard his wish.
Someone's finally here.
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