#hiddenclawsof

[hiddenclawsof]

sparks fly up high ; g, 3.2k - hyunlix fic

ao3 | masterlist

[hiddenclawsof]

reaching for the sun ; g, 1.8k - seungsung fic

ao3 | masterlist

[hiddenclawsof]

lost ; g, 1.7k - hyunlix fic

ao3 | masterlist

[hiddenclawsof]

runaway masterlist

pentagon au that was inspired by the aesthetics of their respective music videos: like this and runaway.

Summary: one wants to live a life of his own, one wants to let go of all the things that's holding him back, one just wanted to pursue his passion without the need of other's approval, and the rest are all just feeling the same- that was why they chose to run far away, until they can no longer look back.

Genre: slice of life

Warnings: vulgar words

Characters: pentagon members and dawn

so i have been in a dilemma about posting this narration in this platform, but to promote this narrative more, i decided to post it here too.

THIS IS AN ON-GOING NARRATIVE

[runaway #1]  |  [runaway #2]  |  [runaway #3]  |  [runaway #4] | [runaway #5] | [runaway #6] | [runaway #7]  |  [runaway #8]  |  [runaway #9] | [runaway #10] | [runaway #11]

[hiddenclawsof]

runaway #11

Summary: Yanan was tired of faking, therefore he stopped.

Yanan forced a smile out of his face to at least be the most welcoming person these two would meet. Though he forces a lot of things, this certain activity is what he dreaded the most. Yanan's eyes lingered on theirs, starting from the tallest and then glancing back down to the shorter. He didn't know what came of him and why he ran to their places and actually form a conversation with them--he's just wandering, a lot.

"How may we help you?" This time, Shinwon spoke out loud.

On his left hand was still the same plastic bag but his right hand pushed Wooseok behind him and seemingly tried to protect him.

"Relax," Yanan raised his hand and shifted his gaze to Wooseok, "I am not going to hurt you."

Shinwon still couldn't breathe easily. What's happening in front of him does not put him to ease. He was feeling something that he couldn't pinpoint to, and all that matters right now to him is Wooseok.

"I told you, I am not going to hurt anyone," Yanan saw the unsettling behavior, and once again exclaimed.

The hands that he raised went from defensive to dismissive. The fake smile that he wore immediately fell and his eyes started to rolled sideways due to his disappointment at Shinwon. Stop faking.

"You," he pointed at Shinwon, "stop acting like you care about this tall guy," Yanan shifted his gaze at Wooseok who's just staring at the two other men around him.

Shinwon's teeth gritted, his grip on the plastic bag grew harder and the way he pushed Wooseok even more to his back made Wooseok realize that Shinwon was starting to boil up.

"Look, I am here because I want what you have," Yanan said as he brushed his hair away from his face.

Dangling on his nose bridge is his spectacles, the way he dresses was also fancier than the two shabby boys, yet he has the nerve to ask for what they have?

"I want a home and you two looked like you have one," he pointed out, making Shinwon and Wooseok look at each other with doubts evident on their faces.

When the two entered the convenience store, the first thing that Yanan noticed about them is how these two looked so strange. Their eyes don't lock at each other, but their mouths kept on blabbering. Yanan carefully watched them, from in and then out. He watched them talk to each other with ice creams on their hands, he watched Shiwon hold on to Wooseok's cheeks, clinging on to him in order to desperately try to bring him back.

But among everything that Yanan watched, it was something that the two of them couldn't see and understand just yet.

It was their warmth.

When two lonely people are brought together, the natural response to that is having two people--maybe not alone, but still are lonely. When two people who are naturally born to survive, their instinct was to build their barricades up and make sure that no one would be able to see the reality of this ego.

And amidst to that phenomenon, their actions spoke louder than their words.

"What the fuck are you trying to do?" Shinwon almost shouted at Yanan.

"What you are trying to do," Yanan replied immediately.

Yanan was someone who had been relocating himself to the different parts of the country. As someone who works as a model, and someone who hasn't built up quite a name yet, Yanan was expected to be hungry for fame, success and wealth.

But travelling to a foreign country is already a mere sacrifice, what more of having to spend his entire life showing a fake face, fake emotions, and giving fake answers would do in return to everything that he sacrificed?

He understood how this career of his works, and how life generally works.

What he strives isn't luxury, it was a home.

A home inside a place where he is the strangest one.

"What do you mean--"

Yanan immediately cut of Shinwon's words and reached out his hand to attempt to touch Wooseok's forehead. Though Wooseok wanted to push Yanan away, Wooseok remained calm and let the stranger touch him.

"Look at how he is so trusting," Yanan commented. But before Shinwon was able to pull Wooseok away from him, Yanan already got so close to both of them, and only this mere distance would make them hear the whispers Yanan gave, "You want him to trust you, yet you don't even trust him?" Yanan now brought his hand to Shinwon's forehead.

Shinwon couldn't move.

"I am doing what you are doing. Tell me, to fool myself of actually having a home, do I need to act like you?" Yanan whispered whilst he looked down on Shinwon's fringes.

He struggled to look for his eyes, but his voice that's flailing showed enough conviction, "I don't understand," Shinwon whispered in return.

Wooseok was merely watching.

His hand was already free from Shinwon's grip and his chest throbbed due to a stranger coming up to him and forcefully implying his opinions to them.

He felt little, he felt judged, he was beginning to wonder if Yanan was always this entitled.

"You're so kind, but kindness isn't what he needs--" Yanan was halted when Wooseok finally swatted the arm that landed on Shinwon's forehead and pulled Shinwon, maintaining a safe distance between Yanan and the two of them.

"Why do we keep on talking about me?" A genuine question that Wooseok wanted to have a genuine answer.

Yanan stopped for a while and bore Wooseok with his gaze. His mouth went agape and eventually closes, but his mind couldn't form words to answer Wooseok's questions either.

With no strings of words that attaches together, he replied a chuckle to Wooseok and mumbled, "I don't know, maybe your blonde hair really stood out to me."

"The hell?" Wooseok's eyebrows folded into anger. His neck began to turn red and the rush of blood pooling up on the flesh of his cheeks made him feel warm.

"Hell?" Yanan replied despite shuddering from the deep voice coming from the taller, yet he still managed to elaborate, "It is being uncertain of what your future would be even if the actual definition of future is uncertainty."

"What do you want--" Wooseok this time didn't want to fool around. His deep voice got even deeper and his loud voice got even louder.

Yanan knew, the taller man in front of him was in deep rage, but nothing can make him falter.

"I told you, didn't I? Home."

"We don't have any," Wooseok said with his gritting teeth.

His mouth releases humid and his forehead began forming sweat straight down to his chin.

But when he heard Yanan speak, his world stopped.

"Then let's make a home."

His face softened and the two older men witnessed every second of it.

He is indeed the youngest. Shinwon thought. 

runaway masterlist

[hiddenclawsof]

runaway #6

Summary:  For the first time, Wooseok was backed down by someone smaller.

Jinho made sure to keep an eye on Shinwon because he's more than weirded out right now. He knew that he isn't one to talk because he slept with a man whom he just met, but something about Shinwon was setting him off the edge.

He wouldn't judge, for sure, but he thought that maybe it is just right of him to think more than twice, now that they're basically three men, with their heavy backpacks on, walking across the dark alleyway, looking for a place that Hui wanted to reside to.

None of the two companions of Hui were excited to where they're about to go to. All they've been meaning to do is to sit, relax their legs, prevent it from cramping, and just close their eyes to sleep for a blink. Just that.

But Hui was all smiles when he saw the same neon sign that indicated Jinho and Hui before that they'll sleep together, it's just that, tonight is a different one. Hui was more than excited to see Wooseok, someone he knew so well, someone he wanted to bring until the end of this journey that they all got themselves into.

Shinwon remained silent when they passed the seemingly broad shoulders and tall guys with beautiful faces. The loud music was blasting out the massive room and the smell that lingers under his nose was more than enough of an indication that they are about to enter a club that who knows how and where did Hui came to know of.

He just watched every movement that the two older men are doing, he just wanted to get at least the gist of it without offending anyone of the two. He stayed there, not wanting any of his presence to be noticed, he just wanted someone to be with. Though he has nothing to offer to the two, only his two hands and the bits of his salary that he managed to save, they still gave him their fake smiles, clearly telling him that none of the two trusts him completely.

Well, at least for the case of Jinho.

Shinwon managed to talk to Hui without raising any suspicion. He was able to form coherent words that hides at least a bit of himself and Hui would take literally anything with a smile. That is how kind-hearted Hui was to everyone.

Shinwon also realized that being a stranger to each other didn't allow the three of them to break their hands off. In fact, even if they've only knew each other for a mere 5 hours, Hui still held his hand inside his and wrapped it with tight force to prevent him from escaping.

He was beyond grateful for that.

It feels nice to have someone be afraid of letting you go, even if it's all superficial.

When the three men stopped in front of what they assumed to be the bouncer, Hui only smiled and whispered before completely dragging the other two inside the creepy hallway.

The loud music grew louder and almost poke a hole to their ear drums, the smell was a mixture of alcohol and cigarette smoke. Shinwon pushed a hand to block his nose, and followed the line that was caught up between their hands.

Jinho looked around, just to catch anything up. There were idols inside that dirty room. He was sure of it. After being a trainee for a whole 8 years, he has this ability to know whether someone is an idol due to the amount of work a person puts on to their faces, and that is okay.

Jinho just followed the pull that Hui was doing to both of them and he noticed that Shinwon didn't want to inhale the cigarette smoke that has been floating above their chests. Jinho checked inside his pocket and pulled up a piece of clothing that he offered to Shinwon with his another fake smile.

Shinwon momentarily stopped and looked into Jinho's hand waving in front of him. Though he was confused, he grabbed the handkerchief from Jinho and blocked his nose.

Jinho couldn't completely trust Shinwon for a lot of things. Maybe it was because of his silence and the fact that he doesn't even bother to talk to him and just brought them to his own apartment to get his things and ran off without speaking to each other, even at least a word.

All he ever knew about this guy was that he's Shinwon and that he's younger, but that's pretty much it.

It was wrong for Jinho to compare, that is for sure, but Shinwon wasn't any like Hui when they first met. Hui easily opened himself up to him like an open book waiting to be read, and Jinho carefully read the passages inside, though not completely. But Shinwon was someone who closes his book and never let anyone peek through even if it was already a given circumstance. He'd go through extreme measures to prevent people from coming inside his wall and Jinho was one who loves to take up challenges that was why he'd break those walls down.

As he began to form the trance of thought about Shinwon, his eyes dragged him to the messy mullet hair of the late friend, Hui, who seemingly bounces up and down due to excitement. Jinho smiled inwardly, but Shinwon caught it.

Hui finally stopped, but now in front of a tall man with blonde hair and dark eyes on. The same man that Jinho was eyeing was puffing the smoke inside his lungs and blowing it away from the figures in front of him. Though his eyes were so dark, his face immediately brightened when he realized who was in front of him.

"Hwitaek hyung!" Shouted by the man wearing a loose white shirt and a leather jacket on.

Jinho clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth-- maybe this was why Hui asked him to not reprimand the man who was hugging his newly found friend.

"I told you to stop smoking Wooseok," Hui let the hand of Shinwon and Jinho go and drop to his sides before bringing up his hand to smack the head of Wooseok.

Wooseok only giggled as he turned his eyes towards the companion of his good friend. He stared, from their head to their toes, and back up. As if regaining his defensive stance, Wooseok stood up, towering over the three smaller compared to him. The brightness that was shown by his face, completely fell off and was replaced by the shadow its cause was unknown.

Jinho may be short, but he will not falter with someone this broken. That was why he brought his hand up and flicked the forehead of the new person, earning himself a loud groan. Wooseok's eyes sharpened but it didn't scare Jinho, not even a little bit. He was sure to make Wooseok's life straight even if he has lost the will to do so.

If Hui was willing to help him, then he'd be sure to help Hui back through Wooseok.

Before Wooseok could ever spat hurtful words at Jinho, the smaller already snapped back at him.

"Just because you're lonely does it mean you can destroy your life here, Wooseok."

When Wooseok heard that, he swore that his legs wavered and almost fell down. Who knew that a small body like Jinho has can do this much to him? For the first time in his years of living, a short man was able to back him down.

Hui just smiled and looked into the eyes of Shinwon who has his lips pursed carefully analyzing what's happening. Hui was assured that by bringing Jinho to Wooseok, a lot of things could change. It was a good choice, to run away.

runaway masterlist

[hiddenclawsof]

runaway #9

Summary: Hui was the first one to realize that no one in that room was alone any longer.

 Wooseok was the first one to wake up in the sunrise that they couldn't see. He has always been like this. He'll wake up early, go through his numerous vices, literally shitting over his life, and do a lot of things that if ever Hui would come to learn, Hui would probably disown him.

He learned how to puff cigarette smoke when he was a teen. He learned how to roll weeds when he was in his twenties. He learned everything there is to learn in the underworld even if a lot of people say that it didn't suit him.

He simply learned how to survive.

Like how people get into competitions and eliminate each other, he had no time to make friends. All his mind has been telling him was to kill, eliminate and win-- so he did.

He killed himself multiple times. He did everything to erase his real self, the soft and cuddly one. He eliminated his ego and he won. People may say that he's an idiot for doing that. Wasting his so called life on doing the things that makes him a piece of shit. But if people would just listen to his whines, then maybe they'd know that no matter how hard the vices hurt him inside, it still doesn't make him feel alive.

None of the things that he had has ever made him feel alive and that makes everything about him and for him unfair.

To him, the vices were all that he has and his world was the darkness that eats him up slowly. There was no light to reach out until a shorter man's hand swatted his hand from puffing up another batch of cigarette smoke; he was wasted.

He began reminiscing.

His eyes were bloodshot and his face was so swollen, probably because of the acid and his weeping. He stared at Wooseok and held his shoulders down although Wooseok was inches taller than him, yet Wooseok stayed down and paid the man some respect.

"Are you seriously going to waste yourself in this place?"

At first, Wooseok wanted to push the man away. He wanted to show how stronger he is than him and how he can dominate the unknown man whenever he wanted to, but when Wooseok's eyes lingered over his, Wooseok broke down, "Who are you to tell me that when you're clearly wasting yourself here like I am?" he said with gritting teeth.

"I am Hui, Hwitaek, or whatever you want to call me, but please," he pleaded and let his head hung low his shoulders while using Wooseok's shoulders as his support, "don't be like me."

Jinho clicked his fingers in front of Wooseok who was starting to lose himself in his trances of thought. The bread that he toasted was already fished out and the eggs that he scrambled were starting to turn brown.

For the first time in years, he would be cooking for someone else than himself.

Wooseok began to find himself and turn to the oldest among the group. He mumbled a simple hum and began flipping the egg on the pan. He wanted to remain unbothered by the sudden contact that he and Jinho had and the way that Jinho promised him a lot. He wanted this to last, just please, last.

Jinho watched Wooseok tense up his shoulders and listened to the taps of his foot on the floor. Jinho knew that Wooseok was starting to feel uncomfortable, but he didn't mind this behavior because there is a lot to learn. So instead, he turned his body away from Wooseok and faced his back at him, listening to the grilling sound and the ragged breath of the younger.

"Do you mind telling me how you and Hui knew each other?" Jinho started. It's not that he was curious, he just wanted to talk to him and make him feel at home inside his own home.

Wooseok stopped focusing his attention to the food in front of him and turned the burner off. He looked at the nape of the shorter and stayed there for minutes before finally replying despite his confusion, "He didn't want me to die."

Jinho inwardly smiled and closed his eyes-- Hui has always been like that and it amuses him. Though they have been together for only mere weeks, Jinho felt responsible for all of them for being the first person that Hui wanted to run away with. He felt responsible in holding them together within his arms and kept them in because he wanted to see the end of this and not with just anybody, but with them.

He can be someone to blame to if everyone wanted him to be. He can accept all the criticisms and all their pain, be the pillar of the rest while looking after his own feet, calloused to stand on the ground. He can guide them to the depths and ignite the light of their hopes, all because the light that he was longing for were slowly illuminating his world with the help of the other three.

"I was the gun that was ready to blow me up, but Hui was the one holding the trigger, holding me down," Wooseok continued amidst the silence that Jinho responded. Wooseok looked only at the bobbing hair that gives him the reassurance to continue, though confusion arose because of Jinho's actions, Wooseok realized Jinho's intentions.

Jinho never wanted to judge, let alone betray his first companion because all he ever wanted to do was to help because that was the first goal he had in this journey of his life.

"You can turn around and look at me, you know."

It was chilling to finally hear those words stumble upon the mouth of the youngest. Jinho has been longing to look at him and stare at him in hopes that his actions would speak more than his mouth could ever do. Jinho saw the youngest with his trembling lips and fidgeting fingers, but instead of helping him up and soothing his discomfort, Jinho was determined to let him know--

"I am going to leave my old self, hyung. I think I am happy with this."

--that sometimes people need to let go in order to gain something new.

Hui who was listening to two of his friends talking, couldn't help himself but believe more in Jinho.

No one in this room is alone any longer.

 runaway masterlist

[hiddenclawsof]

runaway #8

Summary: Shinwon knew that he had done everything he could to have at least one of his wishes be granted.

It all started when Shinwon entered high school. He had been changing schools since he was 9 years old and at that time, he changed again, leaving him no friends to be with during lunch, but himself. Indeed, it was unfortunate for him to think that maybe life would give him what he wanted. He had been a good boy. Years have passed and he always did what his parents wanted him to do.

But never what he actually wanted to do.

Sometimes it makes him wonder, was he born and fed out of obligation, or did his parents actually wanted him to be born?

It's just funny for him how his family was supposed to be his home but living inside the 2-storey concrete never made him feel at home.

His family had money, connections, and everything there is to give him a good life, but never his life.

When he said that he has everything, he was telling the truth. But of all the things that he owns, he never owned himself that was why he ran away.

He worked hard, so hard that he thought his bones would rip apart and his muscle would give up on him. He worked at multiple part time jobs, just anything to feed himself thrice a day. He never bothered to finish his education, he never bothered to look back at the luxury he left behind. He remained at this road forward and dragged his legs to reach its end.

Just something to give his life a meaning.

It amazes him how a person like him couldn't feel anything. People would greet him and wishes him good lucks and a delightful birthday, but he still couldn't feel anything.

He didn't know how it felt to have someone. He thought he was going insane because he doesn't even know who he is either. He was being a fucking good boy and all the fucks he could've described but what he realized after being discouraged for a lot of times is that even if you wanted something, it doesn't mean that it's meant for you.

That was why he gave up.

But when he saw Hui's smile? It was the epitome of kindness, greatness, courage, and brokenness that he was longing for. It was the meaning that he was searching for.

If he ran away before because he lost the meaning of his life, he ran away now because he finally found the way to have some meaning on his life.

He'd not lie if he said that he's scared. In fact, he was more than scared right now. After his weeks in the shit hole of a cave that Wooseok calls home, he's scared that if ever he entered their lives, it will eventually come to an end, like how it always was. He's scared that if he held Wooseok, Jinho and Hui to his grasp, they'd break, slowly, just because he didn't know what it feels like to be a human.

But he was trying.

He really is.

Please, trust me. He mumbled through his breath.

His eyes were still closed but he can feel his tears forcing their way out to fall down to his pillow.

The others were asleep, but there he is, reminiscing and is unable to rest.

He ran his fingers to his cheeks and blocked everything from seeing his tears falling. He can't wake anyone up, and not when he's this vulnerable.

They may be packed close to each other, but his body feels heavier, pushing him to the ground, having no one to hold on to.

And while he was forcing the sobs inside his throat, Hui was awake, and finally raised his body and looked over at Shinwon who was struggling.

Hui always knew what to do. For some reason, he always knew when his kindness could touch people's hearts. But now, he wasn't even sure if there is anything out there to touch.

Would it be okay talk to him? Maybe not, maybe yes.

But how would he know if he wouldn't even try?

That was why he sat up and reached out to Shinwon's hands pulling him to sit up and face him.

In the middle of the room where no windows could be found, but only a lamp illuminating the darkness that accompanied the four men, Hui was able to see the glinting tears that Shinwon has been fighting off.

Though there was a resistance that blocks Hui's hands, Hui was more than determined to care for someone, even if he doesn't leave any care for himself.

"Shinwon, let us talk," Hui was urging Shinwon by pulling him but the lips of the latter slowly wavered and formed a wide frown.

His soft sobs were starting to be audible and Hui felt Shinwon's hand shake from the overwhelming feeling.

"You can't hide from us forever, you know," Hui once again pulled Shinwon but in contrary to earlier, now he was successful.

A crying face from the taller welcomed Hui's tired face, but Hui only smiled using his eyes and lips and wiped the tears that streamed down Shinwon's face.

"What if I showed you who I am and instead of running away with me, you run away from me?"

Hui's smiles momentarily fell and his world slowed down when he heard that from Shinwon. Though his words were mumbled, Hui was still able to hear them loud and clear.

He did his best not to show the shock that Shinwon gave him and regained his usual smile and caressed Shinwon's head.

Anyway, who is he to run away from anyone?

"You're not the only one who has monsters, we all have, that is why rely on us because we are here to run away from our hells and not leave you on yours."

Shinwon cried on Hui's shoulders and didn't mind even if the other two who were sleeping soundly heard his cries. For the first time in his life, him being a good boy paid off because finally, someone heard his wish.

Someone's finally here.

 runaway masterlist